Can't be alone after assault
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I was sexually assaulted (groped) in broad daylight up the road from my house last Thursday. Police are involved but this is the first day since I've had to be alone (OH is at work) and I just can't cope. I'm crying and struggling to breathe. I can't go outside yet cos I don't feel safe and no available friends or family to call... how would I even tell them? I just don't want to be alone.
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0845 30 30 900
This is horrible and I hope things get better for you very soon.
I would take up Frankie_Littles suggestion if all else fails.
Also, it sounds as though, from what you said, that you haven't felt able to tell those around you what happened? Which I can fully understand. Is there anyone close to you whom you would feel comfortable telling? It sounds as though you would benefit not only from counselling, but also from perhaps reaching out to someone close to you whom you trust? (I hope this doesn't come across as me telling you what to do- that's not my intention at all.)
I was attacked by a group of youths in April, and felt similar to how you are feeling. I found victim support extremely helpful. The police actually put them in touch with me - so perhaps they are going to do the same with you?
I would suggest that you contact them, sooner rather than later. They will help you. And talk to your friends and family, you have nothing to feel ashamed about and talking will help.
I really hope you feel better soon. X
Yes, but by reacting that way, you are allowing the bastard who abused you, to win.
You need to defiantly walk out with your head held high - and if the creep bothers you again, plant your fist straight into his throat. Let me assure, he will never bother you again if you do that.
Good luck and remember - don't let him beat you
May I suggest aiming a bit lower?
Without wanting to trivialise the OP's experience, I've found the best way to deal with 'feely' men is to make a reciprocal grab at their crotch, saying loudly, 'You don't like it when we do it back, do you, creep?!'
Even better.
I remember years ago, my apparently "meek and mild" sister, who never said boo to a goose, was being pestered by a guy in the bus station. I saw this from a distance as I was just coming back from the shop. Just about to intervene, when she kicked him in the groin and he doubled over.
I was gobsmacked - all I could say to her was "good for you, well done".
This is horrible to hear and I can fully understand how scared you must feel.
I know you have cerebral palsy, does it limit your mobility ?
I only ask because I'm disabled and use a walking stick, and it can make you feel really vulnerable when you know you can't just run away from someone.
Please ring victim support, they are brilliant xxxxxxxxxxx
I second that (https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/ 0845 30 30 900) and they might be able to recommend some counselling sessions or similar.
Lastly, others have suggested victim support and I echo this.
You'll get through this though, unfortunately, it may take some time, but you'll get there
Have to agree, unless you incapacitate the attacker (and that is surprisingly difficult to do) I do not advise using physical force unless its a last resort.
Very true. Physical force can often make you more vulnerable to attack.
Well done.
Brilliant news! Little steps, as they say.
The same man approached me a little further up the street when I came back from work on Wednesday. He went into the bookies, I called the police and stood there waiting for them to come and get him.
Because no-one had called to take my statement, I spent 3 and a half hours giving statements for both incidents. I was told I'd get a call on Thursday morning and have heard nothing, despite making calls myself.
I'm really not okay on my own, but I can't avoid the street because it's my way to work. I don't want to change what I do because I'm angry and stubborn and why should I?
But I'm struggling to sleep. I don't take pleasure in anything anymore. My OH tried to get me to go out to begin organising our wedding and even though there's nothing I want more, I just feel frightened and couldn't even smile. I just feel dull.
I was dieting before all this, but have given up because it's almost like I'll be safer if I'm unattractive. I feel too vile to wear half my wardrobe now, like this is why it's happened.
I just feel like the people who are supposed to help me have forgotten about me. I know worse things have happened but I feel like my "person" has been taken away from me. I just want to know where he is and no-one's seen fit to tell me.
My boss wasn't in Thursday and Friday and I felt really edgy. I spent all day waiting for someone from Victim Support to call me, or the police and when I couldn't bear it anymore, I tried to call the police for an update and in that second missed the call from VS & I was absolutely hysterical. I don't even know why. But I'm just so angry and sad and scared.
I understand there might not be anything that can be done, but I just want to know
I updated my boss today and burst into tears and she sent me home. This is the only place I feel safe and she's been brilliant, but I'm scared I won't leave again
My OH has had to go away for 2 nights with work and I haven't been anywhere on my own in weeks, we've had to get my friend to agree to stay for 2 nights to "babysit" me
I went home for the weekend with my sisters to see a gig. I absolutely freaked out and it was hideous, even though nothing happened other than crowds.
I don't want this to be who I am now. Moving to this city was supposed to be my new start and I'm too scared to go outside.
What's important to remember is that HE has the problem, the creep. Don't change the way you dress or style yourself because of him!
Keep phoning the police if they don't respond to your queries (have they given you the name of an officer dealing with your case?) and phone VS if they don't get in touch when they say they will.
Have you considered betting a rape alarm? Not that I think you will need it, but it might just make you feel that little bit safer when going out.
Well done for going to the gig and trying to keep going as normal. This will pass, you will start to feel like your old self - but it may take a bit longer to recover from your shock. I was 'mistreated' by a horrible little freak when I was about 14, and too embarassed to speak up. For quite a while afterwards I couldn't even be near him without wanting to run away or curl up and hide. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. But I overcame it and realised that I had nothing to be ashamed or scared of. When he kept trying to embarass me in public, I snapped and beat the cr@p out of him. He got a few good punches in - but I drew blood. I'm not advocating laying hands on your attacker at all - I'm just trying to explain that hopefully there will come a time when a voice in your head goes HELL NO, I am not going to be a victim! I hope there comes a point when you understand that this man is a sniveling, low-life, creepy and nastly little toad-weasle who isn't worth being afraid of. He deserves your contempt, not your fear.