Yes, anger is something that I feel an awful lot, and felt a lot last night. I am really worried that something like that which is meant to be fun and enjoyable turns into something that makes me feel worse. Is there any situation in life where I can get any enjoyment from?
Try and find enjoyment in the little things-the sun shining, music, a good book or film, hearing a funny joke.
Write a diary and be thankful of the things you have such as a roof over your head, a job etc.
In the two odd decades I've had depressive eps I know how easy it is to look at what you don't have and not what you do have but it's important to acknowledge the things that you do have.
Family are important and it's important to have them in your life.
The main issue is getting help for anxiety and depression.
The anger is a symptom of depression so should ease when the depression starts to improve. Indeed same could be said for the anxiety.
The anxiety is a permanent thing that I have had for many years. I have got myself in some right states when I have known I have had to attend social functions or events etc. I have had things like panic attacks because of the nerves due to the fear of it. That is something that always seems to be there.
I am finding it difficult not to resent my parents at the moment, because their attitude towards it is really not helpful. I said to my Mam that I think she treats my like a child, and her response was that I am behaving like one. She was referring to me getting depressed, which is a ridiculous thing to say. Are adults not allowed to moan about things? This comment that she made particularly has really upset me.
The anxiety is a permanent thing that I have had for many years. I have got myself in some right states when I have known I have had to attend social functions or events etc. I have had things like panic attacks because of the nerves due to the fear of it. That is something that always seems to be there.
I am finding it difficult not to resent my parents at the moment, because their attitude towards it is really not helpful. I said to my Mam that I think she treats my like a child, and her response was that I am behaving like one. She was referring to me getting depressed, which is a ridiculous thing to say. Are adults not allowed to moan about things? This comment that she made particularly has really upset me.
Sometimes parents don't know how to handle things like depression and they deal with it badly, they probably don't mean to just don't know how to deal with it.
It's important to keep in good relations with them though, they are important.
If it's any consolation, OP, you aren't alone. In the last 3 months I have lost my job, home (came with job) and future career possibly ruined due to my own anxiety and a data protection breach from my ex-employers all in one go. Oh and on top of that a man I unwisely loved led me on whilst at my most vulnerable and has dropped me the instant I moved away from the area this week.
I've never felt so lost.
I'm already having CBT but I think it's time I use that with medication as it's not working on it's own.
Thank goodness I have wonderful friends and family to keep me here, otherwise it would all be too much. My mother didn't quite realise how low I was until I moved back this week.
FWIW, I found the Samaritans wonderful when I turned to them the night I lost my job.
If it's any consolation, OP, you aren't alone. In the last 3 months I have lost my job, home (came with job) and future career possibly ruined due to my own anxiety and a data protection breach from my ex-employers all in one go. Oh and on top of that a man I unwisely loved led me on whilst at my most vulnerable and has dropped me the instant I moved away from the area this week.
I've never felt so lost.
I'm already having CBT but I think it's time I use that with medication as it's not working on it's own.
Thank goodness I have wonderful friends and family to keep me here, otherwise it would all be too much. My mother didn't quite realise how low I was until I moved back this week.
FWIW, I found the Samaritans wonderful when I turned to them the night I lost my job.
I am very sorry to hear about that. In my own personal experience CBT was a complete waste of time. I don't know about how it will be for you because everyone is different, but I feel it's just used on the NHS as a "quick fix".
I wish I had wonderful friends and family. My family don't listen to me and I don't really have much contact with the few friends that I did have any more. I wish I had the support network that you say you have, because that will certainly help.
I have been wanting to move out for a while, but when adding it all up, I'm not sure I could justify the costs of that. I would like to as I feel trapped at home.
I think it's both. Being part of the in crowd at work seems to be what really matters, when you have asperger's the only hope is that the management team will recognise hard work, sadly, management is generally of a poor standard so in most situations you are screwed, I would never tell anyone to give up, just to be realistic about how hard it is.
I think it's both. Being part of the in crowd at work seems to be what really matters, when you have asperger's the only hope is that the management team will recognise hard work, sadly, management is generally of a poor standard so in most situations you are screwed, I would never tell anyone to give up, just to be realistic about how hard it is.
You are right. Simply being able to do the job and working hard counts for nothing. Neurotypical people are in many ways very inefficient at work because they spend less time doing the actual work and more time standing gossiping at the water cooler, or holding meetings, seminars and team bonding exercises which are completely unnecessary and waste time. They talk rather than do. Sadly, though, this is what the management think is the right way to go about things because they're seen as a "team player", and those people will get on at the expense of someone who if you look at the statistics is actually more productive in terms of the amount of work that actually gets done. The world is screwed up, but it isn't going to change. That's the way it is, and it's crap. >:(
So, I am updating this thread because I have taken heed of advice and have successfully been granted credit transfer for the Open University. However, after choosing my modules (provisionally) it states that from September 2014-May 2015 it requires average study time of 35 years per week per module. As I've said in this thread before I work full-time so I really do not have the time to do that and to study as well, so it looks like I'm back to square one. What should I do now? I really do not want to give up my job.
You should take a look at what Bamidele Onibalusi has achieved by himself. Instead of whining and expecting someone to "give him an opportunity", he simply started to write and offered his work to those who would pay. Go and do thou likewise: http://www.writersincharge.com/about/
This is ideal for you because there's no need to interact with people in person and you can work as much or as little as you wish, to fit in with your existing job.
So, I am updating this thread because I have taken heed of advice and have successfully been granted credit transfer for the Open University. However, after choosing my modules (provisionally) it states that from September 2014-May 2015 it requires average study time of 35 years per week per module. As I've said in this thread before I work full-time so I really do not have the time to do that and to study as well, so it looks like I'm back to square one. What should I do now? I really do not want to give up my job.
35 hours studying a week for a few months is doable, although it will be hard work. It depends upon the difference the degree will make to your life, as to whether it's worth it.
35 hours studying a week for a few months is doable, although it will be hard work. It depends upon the difference the degree will make to your life, as to whether it's worth it.
35 hours studying plus 40 hours work is a hell of a lot. I won't have time to do anything else at all.
You should take a look at what Bamidele Onibalusi has achieved by himself. Instead of whining and expecting someone to "give him an opportunity", he simply started to write and offered his work to those who would pay. Go and do thou likewise: http://www.writersincharge.com/about/
This is ideal for you because there's no need to interact with people in person and you can work as much or as little as you wish, to fit in with your existing job.
I knew there was no point in re-opening this thread. This is all I got last time. I never said I EXPECTED anyone to give me an opportunity. Point out to me where I said that.
You should take a look at what Bamidele Onibalusi has achieved by himself. Instead of whining and expecting someone to "give him an opportunity", he simply started to write and offered his work to those who would pay. Go and do thou likewise: http://www.writersincharge.com/about/
This is ideal for you because there's no need to interact with people in person and you can work as much or as little as you wish, to fit in with your existing job.
That site looks like a con, are you spamming, Martin?
35 hours studying plus 40 hours work is a hell of a lot. I won't have time to do anything else at all.
I know, it's a massive commitment. It just depends on whether the degree you'll gain is worth the sacrifice. If it means a few months of hard work and no play, but you'll end up with good career prospects and the chance to possibly move into your own place, maybe it's worth thinking about.
Either that, or see if you can reduce your hours at work?
I worked full-time whilst studying, it was damned hard, but it was definitely worth the pain.
I know, it's a massive commitment. It just depends on whether the degree you'll gain is worth the sacrifice. If it means a few months of hard work and no play, but you'll end up with good career prospects and the chance to possibly move into your own place, maybe it's worth thinking about.
Either that, or see if you can reduce your hours at work?
I worked full-time whilst studying, it was damned hard, but it was definitely worth the pain.
Did you ever actually do anything ever outside of either working or studying? Did you even find time to eat?
Did you ever actually do anything ever outside of either working or studying? Did you even find time to eat?
I spent a lot of time doing nothing but go to work, come home, shower, sleep and study. I used to work in a bar from 7pm - 3am, while at university, so I did have some sort of social life, if you can call serving drunk students cheap beer socialising! I lived on instant soup and noodles, and barely saw friends and family - but for me, it was worth it. Before I graduated, I had worked in call centres and various other minimum wage jobs, with no chance of career progression, and that all changed.
It's entirely up to you, whether you think it's worth your while. If it's important to you, see if you can reduce your working hours.
I spent a lot of time doing nothing but go to work, come home, shower, sleep and study. I used to work in a bar from 7pm - 3am, while at university, so I did have some sort of social life, if you can call serving drunk students cheap beer socialising! I lived on instant soup and noodles, and barely saw friends and family - but for me, it was worth it. Before I graduated, I had worked in call centres and various other minimum wage jobs, with no chance of career progression, and that all changed.
It's entirely up to you, whether you think it's worth your while. If it's important to you, see if you can reduce your working hours.
See, I know I would make a mess of it again if I continued to work full-time and studied full-time. It would get too much for me, hence I don't want to make the same mistake twice. That was why I ballsed up last time. I suppose my ideal would be to study part-time, but all of the modules I've looked at are 60 credits each which have to be taken within a year.
35 hours studying plus 40 hours work is a hell of a lot. I won't have time to do anything else at all.
It's not really. If you don't socialise much then it's more than doable. Lots of people work 80 hour weeks (Doctors, Solicitors, City workers) some people do 40 hours a week and volunteer in their spare time. Lots of these people also hold down families and see friends.
Your making excuses because your depressed and it's a cycle. I'm not being harsh, been there myself. If you really want something you'll make it happen. I'd focus on the depression and then things will fall into place. If you counselling isn't working, change it, see someone else. It's hard but if you want to climb out of the hole, you have to look up sometimes.
If you can do 60 points in a year, that is not full-time - 120 points is considered full time, so you could probably halve the study time (although that would obviously double the time it would take to gain the degree) What credit transfer have you got - that may help quite considerably!
However, some modules are much more time consuming than others e.g. those that require extensive reading, and depending on your previous experience, you may not need as much time as they say.
I've done 60 points whilst working full time several times and although it does take up time, you have to balance that with what you'll get out of it at the end. It would seem a shame to reject OU study out of hand.
It's not really. If you don't socialise much then it's more than doable. Lots of people work 80 hour weeks (Doctors, Solicitors, City workers) some people do 40 hours a week and volunteer in their spare time. Lots of these people also hold down families and see friends.
Your making excuses because your depressed and it's a cycle. I'm not being harsh, been there myself. If you really want something you'll make it happen. I'd focus on the depression and then things will fall into place. If you counselling isn't working, change it, see someone else. It's hard but if you want to climb out of the hole, you have to look up sometimes.
Would my depression not worsen because I would never have any opportunities to socialise and have the opportunity to do something about that side of my life simply because I wouldn't have the time to do it? Increased stress and depression aren't a good mix.
I quit my counselling a few weeks ago as it was just not working. I don't whether it was just the incompetence of that particular counsellor that meant it failed, or whether I just can't be helped. I'm not convinced just changing to a different person would help, although of course I've nothing to compare to as I've only used one person. I don't want to waste my money. (I have already tried NHS CBT as well).
Comments
Try and find enjoyment in the little things-the sun shining, music, a good book or film, hearing a funny joke.
Write a diary and be thankful of the things you have such as a roof over your head, a job etc.
In the two odd decades I've had depressive eps I know how easy it is to look at what you don't have and not what you do have but it's important to acknowledge the things that you do have.
The anxiety is a permanent thing that I have had for many years. I have got myself in some right states when I have known I have had to attend social functions or events etc. I have had things like panic attacks because of the nerves due to the fear of it. That is something that always seems to be there.
I am finding it difficult not to resent my parents at the moment, because their attitude towards it is really not helpful. I said to my Mam that I think she treats my like a child, and her response was that I am behaving like one. She was referring to me getting depressed, which is a ridiculous thing to say. Are adults not allowed to moan about things? This comment that she made particularly has really upset me.
Sometimes parents don't know how to handle things like depression and they deal with it badly, they probably don't mean to just don't know how to deal with it.
It's important to keep in good relations with them though, they are important.
I've never felt so lost.
I'm already having CBT but I think it's time I use that with medication as it's not working on it's own.
Thank goodness I have wonderful friends and family to keep me here, otherwise it would all be too much. My mother didn't quite realise how low I was until I moved back this week.
FWIW, I found the Samaritans wonderful when I turned to them the night I lost my job.
I wish I had wonderful friends and family.
I have been wanting to move out for a while, but when adding it all up, I'm not sure I could justify the costs of that. I would like to as I feel trapped at home.
You are right. Simply being able to do the job and working hard counts for nothing. Neurotypical people are in many ways very inefficient at work because they spend less time doing the actual work and more time standing gossiping at the water cooler, or holding meetings, seminars and team bonding exercises which are completely unnecessary and waste time. They talk rather than do. Sadly, though, this is what the management think is the right way to go about things because they're seen as a "team player", and those people will get on at the expense of someone who if you look at the statistics is actually more productive in terms of the amount of work that actually gets done. The world is screwed up, but it isn't going to change. That's the way it is, and it's crap. >:(
http://www.writersincharge.com/about/
This is ideal for you because there's no need to interact with people in person and you can work as much or as little as you wish, to fit in with your existing job.
35 hours studying plus 40 hours work is a hell of a lot. I won't have time to do anything else at all.
I knew there was no point in re-opening this thread. This is all I got last time. I never said I EXPECTED anyone to give me an opportunity. Point out to me where I said that.
That site looks like a con, are you spamming, Martin?
I thought it wasn't genuine, either.
Either that, or see if you can reduce your hours at work?
I worked full-time whilst studying, it was damned hard, but it was definitely worth the pain.
Did you ever actually do anything ever outside of either working or studying? Did you even find time to eat?
It's entirely up to you, whether you think it's worth your while. If it's important to you, see if you can reduce your working hours.
See, I know I would make a mess of it again if I continued to work full-time and studied full-time. It would get too much for me, hence I don't want to make the same mistake twice. That was why I ballsed up last time. I suppose my ideal would be to study part-time, but all of the modules I've looked at are 60 credits each which have to be taken within a year.
It's not really. If you don't socialise much then it's more than doable. Lots of people work 80 hour weeks (Doctors, Solicitors, City workers) some people do 40 hours a week and volunteer in their spare time. Lots of these people also hold down families and see friends.
Your making excuses because your depressed and it's a cycle. I'm not being harsh, been there myself. If you really want something you'll make it happen. I'd focus on the depression and then things will fall into place. If you counselling isn't working, change it, see someone else. It's hard but if you want to climb out of the hole, you have to look up sometimes.
If you can do 60 points in a year, that is not full-time - 120 points is considered full time, so you could probably halve the study time (although that would obviously double the time it would take to gain the degree) What credit transfer have you got - that may help quite considerably!
However, some modules are much more time consuming than others e.g. those that require extensive reading, and depending on your previous experience, you may not need as much time as they say.
I've done 60 points whilst working full time several times and although it does take up time, you have to balance that with what you'll get out of it at the end. It would seem a shame to reject OU study out of hand.
Would my depression not worsen because I would never have any opportunities to socialise and have the opportunity to do something about that side of my life simply because I wouldn't have the time to do it? Increased stress and depression aren't a good mix.
I quit my counselling a few weeks ago as it was just not working. I don't whether it was just the incompetence of that particular counsellor that meant it failed, or whether I just can't be helped. I'm not convinced just changing to a different person would help, although of course I've nothing to compare to as I've only used one person. I don't want to waste my money. (I have already tried NHS CBT as well).