I have looked at Open University and have applied for it.
I am actually drinking less, because I am not getting the opportunities to drink socially like I used to, which is always how I used to drink. I vary rarely drink at home, so I can personally say that at the moment, I am not reliant on alcohol or any other substances and never have been. Morally, I am totally against drugs so would never consider going down that route.
I am have also increased the amount of exercise I do, because people say that will help with mental state because of endorphins it releases. I go running regularly, but actually what I'm finding is that after the temporary buzz that you get after finishing excercise, the comedown after is that much worse, so I get really low because of this.
It sounds like you have made some very positive changes to your life and have a plan with Open University. There are some clues in your earlier posts about problems in your social life so my only suggestion would be to combine your interest in running with joining a running club, perhaps becoming involved in some of their competitions as either a helper or competitor. I would also advise looking to do some voluntary work with local free mags to gain more experience in journalism....they are always looking for writers and that would also link you up with other people and give your self esteem a boost.
I know this is the type of thing that gets posted regularly on the Advice thread on here, so I apologise if you've seen this and thought "oh, not another one of those", but I would just like to offload a little bit about what is happening to me and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I just feel as if everything is going wrong with every aspect of my life I am 25 years old, but I really have lost all optimism about my future.
Firstly, in terms of work, I have a job at the moment, but feel as if I am not able to progress anywhere at all because I made a mess of my degree which has severely scuppered my chances of getting any sort of decent position, and I am stuck still doing the job I did before I started University, three years after I completed my course I know I will not be the one who is in a similar situation, but I am struggling to work out what I can do about it because no-one will give me an opportunity. I actually did another thread a while ago relating to this issue. http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1952984&highlight=
This is not the only problem. I have no life outside of work, and am losing all self-confidence and starting to feel more suicidal on a regular basis. I used to have a small group of friends who I used to socialise with on a regular basis, but due to various different circumstances I hardly ever see them and have lost contact with them e.g. one has had a child and that is taking up all of his time, one has moved away etc. I am currently socially isolated and feel so depressed that I can not bring myself to try new things, and I wouldn't really know where to start. I hardly ever do anything any more because I am on my own and never have any social contact.
All of this is just sending me into a downward spiral and I just get no joy out of anything in life whatsoever. I try talking to my parents but they don't understand the issues I am facing and just look at everything through rose tinted spectacles as they are unable to criticise me. Given that they can't offer an impartial opinion, I have been getting counselling for about nine months now, but I am seeing absolutely no positive results from this whatsoever. In fact, I think things have actually got worse not better since I started that. I am thinking of not continuing with it, but then where do I go from there? There is no other form of help available as far as I can see.
I am really stuck. Again, sorry for the rant, but I just needed to get this off my chest.
Firstly, that whole attitude has got to change and that attitude is, in part, holding you back. You have a degree from a British university and you're in employment and the good news is that you can move on from there but you've got to make some effort yourself. I'd suggest starting off by physically writing down a 'Glass Half Full' list of the positive things in your life and looking at your achievements (and there will be some - for example, you've been able to hold down a job in the worst recession since the 1920s, etc.).
It sounds like you'd benefit from a visit to the GP and some professional life coaching and careers advice and it's never been easier to find such resources nearby with the help of the internet. In terms of socialising, l'd suggest trying to widen your circle of friends by joining clubs and societies where you have, or could develop, an interest.
There are young adult social groups too, such as Rotaract, and you could see what green gym/conservation work is available locally. That will get you outside, doing a physical activity and meeting new people. Good luck!
It is never nice to read someones troubles.
It can be so hard to get yourself out thinking like all is doom and gloom at times as well.
I always think that doing new challenges can help getting yourself back in to the right way of thinking.
Moving areas and jobs can be the hardest thing though, so why not think about joining some clubs nearby to do new things and meet new people.
If you are interested in Sport, something involving that maybe.
If you like the great outdoors, you could join a rambling club or a conversation sort of thing.
Voluntary work in your spare time could be good for you also as you will meet other people and do good as well.
Firstly, that whole attitude has got to change and that attitude is, in part, holding you back. You have a degree from a British university and you're in employment and the good news is that you can move on from there but you've got to make some effort yourself. I'd suggest starting off by physically writing down a 'Glass Half Full' list of the positive things in your life and looking at your achievements (and there will be some - for example, you've been able to hold down a job in the worst recession since the 1920s, etc.).
It sounds like you'd benefit from a visit to the GP and some professional life coaching and careers advice and it's never been easier to find such resources nearby with the help of the internet. In terms of socialising, l'd suggest trying to widen your circle of friends by joining clubs and societies where you have, or could develop, an interest.
There are young adult social groups too, such as Rotaract, and you could see what green gym/conservation work is available locally. That will get you outside, doing a physical activity and meeting new people. Good luck!
Again, I have been to a careers adviser, but the person I seen was totally incompetent. He was unable to answer the questions I was asking him. I do not even know how he was in the job. I am probably going to back there again and specifically ask to see anyone other than the person that I seen last time, because it was such a fruitless exercise.
It sounds like you have made some very positive changes to your life and have a plan with Open University. There are some clues in your earlier posts about problems in your social life so my only suggestion would be to combine your interest in running with joining a running club, perhaps becoming involved in some of their competitions as either a helper or competitor. I would also advise looking to do some voluntary work with local free mags to gain more experience in journalism....they are always looking for writers and that would also link you up with other people and give your self esteem a boost.
I have been in a running club the past and I don't like the atmosphere of it, or at least that was my own personal experience of it. The job I do currently is actually related to running anyway, so it was boring me that I had to listen to people banging on incessantly about it during the day, and then have to listen to the same chat on an evening. I would be worrried I'd become a very one-dimensional person if I did that. A lot of proper runners are really boring and only ever talk about running and nothing else.
I will also add that lots of socialising is really stressful for me and tires me out, so my past experience is that if I join these clubs as has been suggested by people here, I am able to sustain it for a certain period of time, but then it becomes too much for me to deal with, and I end up just collapsing and not going any more because I need the time to myself. I am damned if I do and damned if don't seemingly when it comes to the social side of life. This is what has always happened to me in the past, and it will probably happen to me again.
I will also add that lots of socialising is really stressful for me and tires me out, so my past experience is that if I join these clubs as has been suggested by people here, I am able to sustain it for a certain period of time, but then it becomes too much for me to deal with, and I end up just collapsing and not going any more because I need the time to myself. I am damned if I do and damned if don't seemingly when it comes to the social side of life. This is what has always happened to me in the past, and it will probably happen to me again.
Well think
Close your eyes and imagine that someone had waved a magic wand and solved all your problems, and you had the perfect job, plenty of money, and no troubles. How do you picture your evening/weekend?
Well think
Close your eyes and imagine that someone had waved a magic wand and solved all your problems, and you had the perfect job, plenty of money, and no troubles. How do you picture your evening/weekend?
It is a difficult question to answer because of the struggles I have with social anxiety. I can't be relaxed in the company of other people.
Just to be able to mix with other people rather than be isolated. That's all I want, but it's easier said than done.
I do understand that. But its not just a case of being able to mix with people, is it? I mean, no matter how comfortable you were with that (hypothetically speaking), there would be certain places, settings, environments, types of people and interests, that you would prefer, and others which you'd be bored to death with.
What I'm getting at is - despite currently feeling apathetic and uninterested in anything (or so it seems), what would you and could you like to do if things were 'right'?
Have a look here - they often have vacancies for sports journalists. If nothing suitable right now then keep an eye out for the future. If you applied and were successful you could then relocate.
I totally get the social anxiety issue, I've had issues with that myself in the past. It DOES get easier, the more you try.
I know it's just words on a screen, but I wish you well.
I think it is very likely that I am depressed. Here are some of the symptoms of depression and how they are applying to me:
Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness That is certainly true, as I have said earlier, I feel trapped and don't who or where to turn to. Loss of interest in daily activities Yes, definitely this as well. Things that I used to enjoy I can not bring myself to do any more and get no joy or pleasure from anything. Appetite or weight changes I haven't particularly noticed any drastic change in my eating habits or weight. Sleep changes. I am losing a lot of sleep and waking up in the night regularly. Anger or irritability I bottle up my anger, because I do not want to keep subjecting my parents to my ranting, as they must be sick of listening to me, so I repress my emotions. Loss of energy Yes, I often feel quite lethargic. Self-loathing I have quite bad issues with my self-esteem as I have already mentioned in this thread. Reckless behavior I can't really think of anything I've done that is particularly reckless, I am overly cautious most of the time, so I don't think this applies to me.
I do understand that. But its not just a case of being able to mix with people, is it? I mean, no matter how comfortable you were with that (hypothetically speaking), there would be certain places, settings, environments, types of people and interests, that you would prefer, and others which you'd be bored to death with.
What I'm getting at is - despite currently feeling apathetic and uninterested in anything (or so it seems), what would you and could you like to do if things were 'right'?
So, basically you're asking about hobbies and interests? Well, I would play sports, I have done things like play Badminton in the past, I also like watching Sport and support my local team. I like comedy and music, pubs and meals, that type of thing.
You are correct in that at the moment it feels like I am not interested or care about anything,though.
If that's the case then it sounds like you are severely depressed.
I wouldn't advice making any radical changes to your life such as a career change, getting involved with anyone but I do think you should try to boost your self esteem, get out in the fresh air, try get a good nights sleep, exercise more, also look at your diet-Patrick Holford states B vitamins, vitamin c, sinc, magnesium, chromium and essential fats-look at increasing these in your diet and supplementing a multi-vitamin.
I think you should show some compassion to yourself as well.
You may not have the world's greatest job but at least you have a job, not everyone does.
Ignore the ones telling you to pull yourself together. They've probably never been rock bottom and thus lack understanding of suicidal thinking.
So, basically you're asking about hobbies and interests? Well, I would play sports, I have done things like play Badminton in the past, I also like watching Sport and support my local team. I like comedy and music, pubs and meals, that type of thing.
You are correct in that at the moment it feels like I am not interested or care about anything,though.
I'm asking because I think, possibly, the social anxiety issue has become the dominant thing. Like a mountain. You've said that its hard to know what activities or social stuff you could do because of the problem. I'm thinking that this sounds a bit 'cart before the horse', and that when you feel there is somewhere you'd like to go or something you could enjoy, thats the time to try to make it happen and to cope. Bite size chunks, I guess is what I'm saying.
If that's the case then it sounds like you are severely depressed.
Yes, I feel like this quite regularly. I probably have at least a thought about suicide every day.
I wouldn't advice making any radical changes to your life such as a career change, getting involved with anyone but I do think you should try to boost your self esteem, get out in the fresh air, try get a good nights sleep, exercise more, also look at your diet-Patrick Holford states B vitamins, vitamin c, sinc, magnesium, chromium and essential fats-look at increasing these in your diet and supplementing a multi-vitamin.
I don't really get obsessed with following a diet, I just eat, but I eat okay in terms of I have quite healthy food the majority of the time either overeat and not eat enough, so I don't think there's anything drastically wrong with my diet.
I'm not sure I'd have a particular wish to get involved with anyone at the moment, as I wouldn't want to put anyone through the ordeal of having to put up with me. Besides, I have very, very little experience of dating or relationships at all, and the one experience I have had which ended earlier this year was a bad one and has put me off. I talked about this in another thread (albeit not one started by me): http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1966023&highlight=nice+guy+syndrome
I would like to change my career as I feel it may help, but you may also be right in that it might be too dramatic a change to my life at this stage. I have also considered getting a flat of my own, but might not right now for the same reason.
I think you should show some compassion to yourself as well.
You may not have the world's greatest job but at least you have a job, not everyone does.
Yes, I know, that is one positive. I think if I did not have a job at all that would potentially tip me right over the edge, so at least I have got that to cling on to.
Ignore the ones telling you to pull yourself together. They've probably never been rock bottom and thus lack understanding of suicidal thinking.
Take care of yourself
I didn't take any notice of that person who was telling me that. It was completely not constructive and was just criticising me without any real understanding of the facts.
I'm asking because I think, possibly, the social anxiety issue has become the dominant thing. Like a mountain. You've said that its hard to know what activities or social stuff you could do because of the problem. I'm thinking that this sounds a bit 'cart before the horse', and that when you feel there is somewhere you'd like to go or something you could enjoy, thats the time to try to make it happen and to cope. Bite size chunks, I guess is what I'm saying.
Yes, social anxiety is the dominant thing. I have missed out on a huge amount so far in my whole life because of it.
If you think about suicide daily then you need to get help.
I know a while back I had regular thoughts of it pretty much daily but I've now got to a position where my mood is generally about a 3 or 4 out of 10 as opposed to 0.
I guess what I'm trying to say is it will take time but you can start to feel better eventually.
It's good you have a healthy diet but the point I was making regarding those vitamins/ minerals is they have been found to be the most beneficial with regards helping depression. Deficiencies in any of them can effect mood.
Are you taking any thing to help with your mood?
Do you think the trigger was the break-up or do you think it's just everything in general?
If you think about suicide daily then you need to get help.
I know a while back I had regular thoughts of it pretty much daily but I've now got to a position where my mood is generally about a 3 or 4 out of 10 as opposed to 0.
I guess what I'm trying to say is it will take time but you can start to feel better eventually.
It's good you have a healthy diet but the point I was making regarding those vitamins/ minerals is they have been found to be the most beneficial with regards helping depression. Deficiencies in any of them can effect mood.
Are you taking any thing to help with your mood?
Do you think the trigger was the break-up or do you think it's just everything in general?
"Get help" meaning what exactly, though?
No, I'm not taking anything to help with my mood. I'm not really keen on been reliant on drugs like anti-depressants to mask the problem, although maybe I should consider it potentially.
In terms of whether my relationship experience was the trigger, I would say it certainly hasn't helped, but there are many other things as well, so it's more everything in general. I reckon that experience has had a big effect on me, though, as it has affected the way I view life and people.
Why don't you start writing a sports blog? Degree's are jack all these days when you can make the world notice you in other ways.
You seem to have a passion there, so maybe you should join a forum connected to the team you love, maybe try and meet up with some like minded people if you feel the need. You will feel awkward at first but try to ask yourself 'what's the worst that could happen?' - and just do it.
Comments
It sounds like you have made some very positive changes to your life and have a plan with Open University. There are some clues in your earlier posts about problems in your social life so my only suggestion would be to combine your interest in running with joining a running club, perhaps becoming involved in some of their competitions as either a helper or competitor. I would also advise looking to do some voluntary work with local free mags to gain more experience in journalism....they are always looking for writers and that would also link you up with other people and give your self esteem a boost.
Firstly, that whole attitude has got to change and that attitude is, in part, holding you back. You have a degree from a British university and you're in employment and the good news is that you can move on from there but you've got to make some effort yourself. I'd suggest starting off by physically writing down a 'Glass Half Full' list of the positive things in your life and looking at your achievements (and there will be some - for example, you've been able to hold down a job in the worst recession since the 1920s, etc.).
It sounds like you'd benefit from a visit to the GP and some professional life coaching and careers advice and it's never been easier to find such resources nearby with the help of the internet. In terms of socialising, l'd suggest trying to widen your circle of friends by joining clubs and societies where you have, or could develop, an interest.
There are young adult social groups too, such as Rotaract, and you could see what green gym/conservation work is available locally. That will get you outside, doing a physical activity and meeting new people. Good luck!
ETA. Haha, Taglet beat me to it. But seriously, it sounds perfect.
It can be so hard to get yourself out thinking like all is doom and gloom at times as well.
I always think that doing new challenges can help getting yourself back in to the right way of thinking.
Moving areas and jobs can be the hardest thing though, so why not think about joining some clubs nearby to do new things and meet new people.
If you are interested in Sport, something involving that maybe.
If you like the great outdoors, you could join a rambling club or a conversation sort of thing.
Voluntary work in your spare time could be good for you also as you will meet other people and do good as well.
Again, I have been to a careers adviser, but the person I seen was totally incompetent. He was unable to answer the questions I was asking him. I do not even know how he was in the job. I am probably going to back there again and specifically ask to see anyone other than the person that I seen last time, because it was such a fruitless exercise.
I have been in a running club the past and I don't like the atmosphere of it, or at least that was my own personal experience of it. The job I do currently is actually related to running anyway, so it was boring me that I had to listen to people banging on incessantly about it during the day, and then have to listen to the same chat on an evening. I would be worrried I'd become a very one-dimensional person if I did that. A lot of proper runners are really boring and only ever talk about running and nothing else.
What would be your idea of a perfect social life?
I don't know.
Well think
Close your eyes and imagine that someone had waved a magic wand and solved all your problems, and you had the perfect job, plenty of money, and no troubles. How do you picture your evening/weekend?
It is a difficult question to answer because of the struggles I have with social anxiety. I can't be relaxed in the company of other people.
Ok, but imagine the magic wand has waved all that away........ then what?
Just to be able to mix with other people rather than be isolated. That's all I want, but it's easier said than done.
I do understand that. But its not just a case of being able to mix with people, is it? I mean, no matter how comfortable you were with that (hypothetically speaking), there would be certain places, settings, environments, types of people and interests, that you would prefer, and others which you'd be bored to death with.
What I'm getting at is - despite currently feeling apathetic and uninterested in anything (or so it seems), what would you and could you like to do if things were 'right'?
I totally get the social anxiety issue, I've had issues with that myself in the past. It DOES get easier, the more you try.
I know it's just words on a screen, but I wish you well.
Have a look here - they often have vacancies for sports journalists. If nothing suitable right now then keep an eye out for the future. If you applied and were successful you could then relocate.
I think it is very likely that I am depressed. Here are some of the symptoms of depression and how they are applying to me:
Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness That is certainly true, as I have said earlier, I feel trapped and don't who or where to turn to.
Loss of interest in daily activities Yes, definitely this as well. Things that I used to enjoy I can not bring myself to do any more and get no joy or pleasure from anything.
Appetite or weight changes I haven't particularly noticed any drastic change in my eating habits or weight.
Sleep changes. I am losing a lot of sleep and waking up in the night regularly.
Anger or irritability I bottle up my anger, because I do not want to keep subjecting my parents to my ranting, as they must be sick of listening to me, so I repress my emotions.
Loss of energy Yes, I often feel quite lethargic.
Self-loathing I have quite bad issues with my self-esteem as I have already mentioned in this thread.
Reckless behavior I can't really think of anything I've done that is particularly reckless, I am overly cautious most of the time, so I don't think this applies to me.
Also, this video on YouTube about the "Black Dog" really hits home to me. I can relate to it a lot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc
So, basically you're asking about hobbies and interests? Well, I would play sports, I have done things like play Badminton in the past, I also like watching Sport and support my local team. I like comedy and music, pubs and meals, that type of thing.
You are correct in that at the moment it feels like I am not interested or care about anything,though.
you say that at times you feel suicidal.
If that's the case then it sounds like you are severely depressed.
I wouldn't advice making any radical changes to your life such as a career change, getting involved with anyone but I do think you should try to boost your self esteem, get out in the fresh air, try get a good nights sleep, exercise more, also look at your diet-Patrick Holford states B vitamins, vitamin c, sinc, magnesium, chromium and essential fats-look at increasing these in your diet and supplementing a multi-vitamin.
I think you should show some compassion to yourself as well.
You may not have the world's greatest job but at least you have a job, not everyone does.
Ignore the ones telling you to pull yourself together. They've probably never been rock bottom and thus lack understanding of suicidal thinking.
Take care of yourself.
I'm asking because I think, possibly, the social anxiety issue has become the dominant thing. Like a mountain. You've said that its hard to know what activities or social stuff you could do because of the problem. I'm thinking that this sounds a bit 'cart before the horse', and that when you feel there is somewhere you'd like to go or something you could enjoy, thats the time to try to make it happen and to cope. Bite size chunks, I guess is what I'm saying.
Yes, social anxiety is the dominant thing. I have missed out on a huge amount so far in my whole life because of it.
I know a while back I had regular thoughts of it pretty much daily but I've now got to a position where my mood is generally about a 3 or 4 out of 10 as opposed to 0.
I guess what I'm trying to say is it will take time but you can start to feel better eventually.
It's good you have a healthy diet but the point I was making regarding those vitamins/ minerals is they have been found to be the most beneficial with regards helping depression. Deficiencies in any of them can effect mood.
Are you taking any thing to help with your mood?
Do you think the trigger was the break-up or do you think it's just everything in general?
"Get help" meaning what exactly, though?
No, I'm not taking anything to help with my mood. I'm not really keen on been reliant on drugs like anti-depressants to mask the problem, although maybe I should consider it potentially.
In terms of whether my relationship experience was the trigger, I would say it certainly hasn't helped, but there are many other things as well, so it's more everything in general. I reckon that experience has had a big effect on me, though, as it has affected the way I view life and people.
You seem to have a passion there, so maybe you should join a forum connected to the team you love, maybe try and meet up with some like minded people if you feel the need. You will feel awkward at first but try to ask yourself 'what's the worst that could happen?' - and just do it.