Attachment parenting
1.Birth bonding: The first few hours after birth are regarded as very important to promote attachment.
2.Belief in the signal value of your baby’s cries: Parents are encouraged to learn to understand their baby’s cries and respond quickly and appropriately to them.
3.Breastfeeding: This is regarded to have physical and psychological advantages to both mother and child.
4.Babywearing: The term was first used by Dr. Sears and it means carrying the baby in a sling or other carrier, close to the body of the caregiver.
5.Bedding close to baby: Sleeping in the same room and preferably in the same bed as the baby is encouraged, as is frequent (breast)feeding at night.
6.Balance and boundaries: Appropriate responsiveness (knowing when to say yes and when to say no) is needed to keep a healthy family live.
7.Beware of baby trainers: Instead of taking advice about how to ‘train’ the baby to make it cry less and sleep for longer stretches, parents are encouraged to listen to their own instinct and intuition.
Non Attachment Parenting
You let your offspring bawl itself to sleep
Attachment parenting
1.Birth bonding: The first few hours after birth are regarded as very important to promote attachment.
2.Belief in the signal value of your baby’s cries: Parents are encouraged to learn to understand their baby’s cries and respond quickly and appropriately to them.
3.Breastfeeding: This is regarded to have physical and psychological advantages to both mother and child.
4.Babywearing: The term was first used by Dr. Sears and it means carrying the baby in a sling or other carrier, close to the body of the caregiver.
5.Bedding close to baby: Sleeping in the same room and preferably in the same bed as the baby is encouraged, as is frequent (breast)feeding at night.
6.Balance and boundaries: Appropriate responsiveness (knowing when to say yes and when to say no) is needed to keep a healthy family live.
7.Beware of baby trainers: Instead of taking advice about how to ‘train’ the baby to make it cry less and sleep for longer stretches, parents are encouraged to listen to their own instinct and intuition.
Non Attachment Parenting
You let your offspring bawl itself to sleep
Ok Im not bias
I don't really get it. Letting your child "self sooth" or whatever people call it does not mean you do not do any of the 7 things you list. I mean surely some of them are such fundamental things regarding babyrearing that 99% of people do them anyway.
I have always just done what came naturally. I don't follow a parenting style or "rules"
I wasn't a successful breast-feeder but I did express all my child's feeds for the first few months (which was grim I must say!)
I didn't baby wear much as my little one didn't like to be in a sling, I ended up buying 3 and he would only 'put up' with one of them and even then only occasionally.
Little one sleeps with us most nights now, and he is 17 months. Illnesses, teething, me working full time etc just makes it easier for us all to get a bit if sleep and if we all have to sleep together then so be it.
I've never left him to cry it out, don't like the notion of controlled crying at all. When they are young they always have a reason for crying. You cannot spoil a newborn / young infant.
Now he is a toddler we are setting boundaries, he knows what he is and isn't allowed to do and he is praised / discouraged as appropriate. He probably thinks his name is "no" these days We'll work on the whole sleep thing soon when I have some time off of work and can afford to be shattered.. Even then though there will be no self soothing or controlled crying.
We are basically just making it up as we go along and doing what we have to do!
I picked up both of mine as soon as they started to cry, not because I'm fashionably into attachment parenting or anything. I just can't abide any sort of noise that isn't my own choice of music.
I've had 5 babies and for years seemed to be pregnant and have at least one on the breast and the rest hanging from me somehow. Multiple bath and bed times, all in together very often. Does that count? JOKING! Our children need as much closeness and love as we can possibly give. I could never leave any child to cry. I also got something from it as I loved it too and they grow up so quickly.
I picked up both of mine as soon as they started to cry, not because I'm fashionably into attachment parenting or anything. I just can't abide any sort of noise that isn't my own choice of music.
Yes agreed. That's what we did.
I have never understood how anyone would prefer to leave a baby crying. It's the most exasperating noise known to man.
I have always just done what came naturally. I don't follow a parenting style or "rules"
I wasn't a successful breast-feeder but I did express all my child's feeds for the first few months (which was grim I must say!)
I didn't baby wear much as my little one didn't like to be in a sling, I ended up buying 3 and he would only 'put up' with one of them and even then only occasionally.
Little one sleeps with us most nights now, and he is 17 months. Illnesses, teething, me working full time etc just makes it easier for us all to get a bit if sleep and if we all have to sleep together then so be it.
I've never left him to cry it out, don't like the notion of controlled crying at all. When they are young they always have a reason for crying. You cannot spoil a newborn / young infant.
Now he is a toddler we are setting boundaries, he knows what he is and isn't allowed to do and he is praised / discouraged as appropriate. He probably thinks his name is "no" these days We'll work on the whole sleep thing soon when I have some time off of work and can afford to be shattered.. Even then though there will be no self soothing or controlled crying.
We are basically just making it up as we go along and doing what we have to do!
pretty much the BIB n the best way to do it as every child is different ..seems like you got a lid on this parenting lark rainbow
Kind of a mixture of the two. Baby wearing would be a big no. Easy with 1st, not as easy with No 2 & 3 and dashing around looking after other family.
No way would i ever share a bed with a baby, cot next to our bed but no baby in our bed. Not worth the risk imo.
Never read a baby book and took no advice from anyone because never got offered any.
Firm boundries with the ability to say 'No' and mean it.
But why ruin it by saying letting a baby bawl itself to sleep. Its ok in my world to settle a baby and let it have a little cry/grizzle without dashing to its aid every second. All my children were left for short periods to self settle when every need was met. I would never leave a baby to bawl but grizzle and cry a little yes of course. I had 3 brilliant sleepers.
Kind of a mixture of the two. Baby wearing would be a big no. Easy with 1st, not as easy with No 2 & 3 and dashing around looking after other family.
No way would i ever share a bed with a baby, cot next to our bed but no baby in our bed. Not worth the risk imo.
Never read a baby book and took no advice from anyone because never got offered any.
Firm boundries with the ability to say 'No' and mean it.
But why ruin it by saying letting a baby bawl itself to sleep. Its ok in my world to settle a baby and let it have a little cry/grizzle without dashing to its aid every second. All my children were left for short periods to self settle when every need was met. I would never leave a baby to bawl but grizzle and cry a little yes of course. I had 3 brilliant sleepers.
Kind of a mixture of the two. Baby wearing would be a big no. Easy with 1st, not as easy with No 2 & 3 and dashing around looking after other family.
No way would i ever share a bed with a baby, cot next to our bed but no baby in our bed. Not worth the risk imo.
Never read a baby book and took no advice from anyone because never got offered any.
Firm boundries with the ability to say 'No' and mean it.
But why ruin it by saying letting a baby bawl itself to sleep. Its ok in my world to settle a baby and let it have a little cry/grizzle without dashing to its aid every second. All my children were left for short periods to self settle when every need was met. I would never leave a baby to bawl but grizzle and cry a little yes of course. I had 3 brilliant sleepers./QUOTE]
This is kind of what I did. I have 4 kids and they were all good sleepers. My mum used to give me advice which I used and ignored in equal measure.
I didn't breastfeed any of mine but they seem to have turned out ok.
I'd say a mixture, you just do whatever feels right.
At the moment he's 7 weeks and still in his moses basket which we have in our room. I'd never have him in our bed though and as soon as he's too big for the moses basket he'll be going in his own room in his cot. At the moment when he's had a feed at around 9pm we usually put him upstairs "to bed" in our room and put the baby monitor on. He sleeps really well, last night he had his final feed at 11 and then slept for nearly 7 hours. If we've got somebody babysitting though he usually stays downstairs with them until we get home.
I don't see anything wrong with leaving him to calm down if he's just fussing and crying a bit, he usually calms after a minute or so and goes to sleep. Obviously if he's bawling his head off we'll go to him.
Over the many years I have been a parent some people don't seem to realise there is a huge difference between jumping to a babies side every time it makes a peep to letting it scream and bawl for hours whilst completly ignoring it.
I would settle mine after a feed/winding/clean nappy and then leave the room. I would stand outside the room and listen. General snuffling around, little bit of crying and whinging would be left for a few minutes. If the crying got worse and you can tell after a while if its going to carry on or stop then I would go in and sooth. Most of the time I would not pick up, just a hand on the chest and a shhhhhhhh and start the process all over again.
At no point would I have ever left a baby to scream for ages. All that does is work baby up into a frenzy and sleep would be out of the window anyway.
I think you quickly learn the difference between a cry because something is wrong and a cry because they want company. If mine had been put down for a sleep, and it was the latter cry then I didn't pick them up but would rock them or stroke their heads instead. While I didn't believe in letting them cry themselves to sleep, I also didn't go rushing in to lift them at every grizzle.
I did what came naturally and what suited me , my baby and my family We didnt need a name for it we just called it love
^^ That x ∞
I do some of the AP stuff, not because it's AP but because it's what I'm comfortable with and it's what works. I only knew it was AP stuff when I read the list. Now I know I fit into some cool AP gang.
A bit of both really. I didn't 'wear' them in a sling, or pick them up the second they cried, nor did I wheel them down to the bottom of the garden and leave them all day (yes I have heard of some older mums doing this).
Personally I liked to get mine into a proper routine, while ensuring they still got plenty of love and attention.
my baby is currently in the chair of neglect as some mums-netters called it, or the jumperoo as i like to call it. I am currently sitting next to him talking to him so he's definitely not neglected!
I too have done what has come naturally, not bf as he has a milk allergy, a little bit of baby wearing and he is 7 months and his cot is tight up against my bed. I don't let him cry it out, but from day one he went into his cot/crib awake and I have to say it has made things a lot easier.
Mine are teenagers now, but I didn't breastfeed, I didn't carry them about in a sling, I didn't pick them up the second they cried, I did set a routine from very early on, bath, feed bed, at same time every night and in the same order. During night feeds, I fed them in the semi darkness, no eye contact, no talking.....I put them to bed awake and if they cried I made sure they knew I was there but didn't pick them up. They were brilliant sleepers, sleeping through from a very early age and still are (I can't get them out of bed now!) And I never had them in bed with me, I've slept on their bedroom floor when they have been ill! But never had them in with me. I was like a Sergeant Major with my routines but it paid off, Got two strapping, healthy and most important happy teenagers.
I think the term "non attachment" to describe any kind of parenting of babies is one of the silliest sounding terms ever invented, its a little bit of an oxymoron, JMO
Comments
What background info do you need, did you follow attachment or non attachment parenting?
Second this.
What OP, are you talking about?
Attachment parenting
1.Birth bonding: The first few hours after birth are regarded as very important to promote attachment.
2.Belief in the signal value of your baby’s cries: Parents are encouraged to learn to understand their baby’s cries and respond quickly and appropriately to them.
3.Breastfeeding: This is regarded to have physical and psychological advantages to both mother and child.
4.Babywearing: The term was first used by Dr. Sears and it means carrying the baby in a sling or other carrier, close to the body of the caregiver.
5.Bedding close to baby: Sleeping in the same room and preferably in the same bed as the baby is encouraged, as is frequent (breast)feeding at night.
6.Balance and boundaries: Appropriate responsiveness (knowing when to say yes and when to say no) is needed to keep a healthy family live.
7.Beware of baby trainers: Instead of taking advice about how to ‘train’ the baby to make it cry less and sleep for longer stretches, parents are encouraged to listen to their own instinct and intuition.
Non Attachment Parenting
You let your offspring bawl itself to sleep
Ok Im not bias
I don't really get it. Letting your child "self sooth" or whatever people call it does not mean you do not do any of the 7 things you list. I mean surely some of them are such fundamental things regarding babyrearing that 99% of people do them anyway.
I wasn't a successful breast-feeder but I did express all my child's feeds for the first few months (which was grim I must say!)
I didn't baby wear much as my little one didn't like to be in a sling, I ended up buying 3 and he would only 'put up' with one of them and even then only occasionally.
Little one sleeps with us most nights now, and he is 17 months. Illnesses, teething, me working full time etc just makes it easier for us all to get a bit if sleep and if we all have to sleep together then so be it.
I've never left him to cry it out, don't like the notion of controlled crying at all. When they are young they always have a reason for crying. You cannot spoil a newborn / young infant.
Now he is a toddler we are setting boundaries, he knows what he is and isn't allowed to do and he is praised / discouraged as appropriate. He probably thinks his name is "no" these days We'll work on the whole sleep thing soon when I have some time off of work and can afford to be shattered.. Even then though there will be no self soothing or controlled crying.
We are basically just making it up as we go along and doing what we have to do!
Yes agreed. That's what we did.
I have never understood how anyone would prefer to leave a baby crying. It's the most exasperating noise known to man.
pretty much the BIB n the best way to do it as every child is different ..seems like you got a lid on this parenting lark rainbow
No way would i ever share a bed with a baby, cot next to our bed but no baby in our bed. Not worth the risk imo.
Never read a baby book and took no advice from anyone because never got offered any.
Firm boundries with the ability to say 'No' and mean it.
But why ruin it by saying letting a baby bawl itself to sleep. Its ok in my world to settle a baby and let it have a little cry/grizzle without dashing to its aid every second. All my children were left for short periods to self settle when every need was met. I would never leave a baby to bawl but grizzle and cry a little yes of course. I had 3 brilliant sleepers.
Same
At the moment he's 7 weeks and still in his moses basket which we have in our room. I'd never have him in our bed though and as soon as he's too big for the moses basket he'll be going in his own room in his cot. At the moment when he's had a feed at around 9pm we usually put him upstairs "to bed" in our room and put the baby monitor on. He sleeps really well, last night he had his final feed at 11 and then slept for nearly 7 hours. If we've got somebody babysitting though he usually stays downstairs with them until we get home.
I don't see anything wrong with leaving him to calm down if he's just fussing and crying a bit, he usually calms after a minute or so and goes to sleep. Obviously if he's bawling his head off we'll go to him.
I would settle mine after a feed/winding/clean nappy and then leave the room. I would stand outside the room and listen. General snuffling around, little bit of crying and whinging would be left for a few minutes. If the crying got worse and you can tell after a while if its going to carry on or stop then I would go in and sooth. Most of the time I would not pick up, just a hand on the chest and a shhhhhhhh and start the process all over again.
At no point would I have ever left a baby to scream for ages. All that does is work baby up into a frenzy and sleep would be out of the window anyway.
There is a middle ground with everything.
We didnt need a name for it we just called it love
^^ That x ∞
I do some of the AP stuff, not because it's AP but because it's what I'm comfortable with and it's what works. I only knew it was AP stuff when I read the list. Now I know I fit into some cool AP gang.
Groovy :kitty:
Personally I liked to get mine into a proper routine, while ensuring they still got plenty of love and attention.
I too have done what has come naturally, not bf as he has a milk allergy, a little bit of baby wearing and he is 7 months and his cot is tight up against my bed. I don't let him cry it out, but from day one he went into his cot/crib awake and I have to say it has made things a lot easier.