You call women 'superficial(ist) and unrealistic' just because they don't want to date you? I think you have a superiority complex.
I think the opposite, I think he has an inferiority complex, and is blaming his looks and skin colour on the fact women don't want to date him, which is insulting to the majority of women who are more interested in guys that are warm, funny,and interesting, than Johnny Depp look-alikes with the personality of a potato.
I suspect he sets his cap at tango tanned WAG wannabes who aren't interested in ordinary men and want someone with a massive wallet and celebrity lifestyle, and women like them aren't typical.
I think the opposite, I think he has an inferiority complex, and is blaming his looks and skin colour on the fact women don't want to date him, which is insulting to the majority of women who are more interested in guys that are warm, funny,and interesting, than Johnny Depp look-alikes with the personality of a potato.
I suspect he sets his cap at tango tanned WAG wannabes who aren't interested in ordinary men and want someone with a massive wallet and celebrity lifestyle, and women like them aren't typical.
well said pugamo. indeed. and its a shame how people jump straight to conclusions or say things which arent true at all with what I said.... no wonder there are too many "undatables"...and this thread proves it in itself.
to answer the original question. yes, I am TOTALLY undatable. im a reject. im too ugly. im not white either. im not sexy, hot or "fit".
superficialist and unrealistic women these days :rolleyes:. then they wonder why they cant find someone "decent"
Hi
I agree you are undatable and likely to remain single, but not for the reasons you have stated. Whereas I don't envisage Toyota or Jason having the same problems in the long run.
I agree we do have to be a bit superficial, as we are drawn to looks, thats the first thing we notice about someone, but for me, I like people with a personality, someone with a brain, someone that can hold a conversations. Someone not afraid to live life and not afraid to enjoy themselves, that plays a bigger part for me
As for unrealistic, depends on the circumstances, but the only way I can see someone being unrealistic, is if they want too much too soon, or expect too much. I don't think they can be unrealistic about looks as if you're going on a date and they've seen a pic, then they know exactly what to expect
Relationships based on looks, I'm not fond of, what if there's nothing in common, and looks fade, whereas relationships built on love, trust, honesty along with finding each other attractive, not taking each other for granted and a mutual attraction, well thats what i'd like
Hi
I agree you are undatable and likely to remain single, but not for the reasons you have stated. Whereas I don't envisage Toyota or Jason having the same problems in the long run.
I agree we do have to be a bit superficial, as we are drawn to looks, thats the first thing we notice about someone, but for me, I like people with a personality, someone with a brain, someone that can hold a conversations. Someone not afraid to live life and not afraid to enjoy themselves, that plays a bigger part for me
As for unrealistic, depends on the circumstances, but the only way I can see someone being unrealistic, is if they want too much too soon, or expect too much. I don't think they can be unrealistic about looks as if you're going on a date and they've seen a pic, then they know exactly what to expect
Relationships based on looks, I'm not fond of, what if there's nothing in common, and looks fade, whereas relationships built on love, trust, honesty along with finding each other attractive, not taking each other for granted and a mutual attraction, well thats what i'd like
There's nothing wrong with wanting those things at all, infact a relationship based on personality and compatibility will always be stronger than that based on looks and I doubt you're the only gay bloke looking for that. I would re-iterate that you come across as a decent chap on here, open and honest, which is always good. I'm sure your time will come soon, I've no doubt. Best of luck.
Why do you say that with such certainty Jason? You come across as a sweetheart on here, why are you so sure you are one of the 'undateables?'
You'll make me blush
But, to answer your question, a litany of 'issues'
I believe i'm firmly in the camp of being a 'project' rather than a 'partner'. Had a hugely over protective mother who never let me or my sister do anything, so you have confidence and esteem issues as the 'filling' on the cake.
Too many years of living on my own as well. I guess the best way to describe that is that you kind of lose touch with all the common social niceties and interactions. There's your icing for the aforementioned cake.
I often say that if anyone ever wanted to flirt with me or to show an interest in 'that' way, they'd have to hold up a huge sign with big, thick black lettering saying "I'm flirting with you". Even then, I probably still wouldn't get it
I often say that if anyone ever wanted to flirt with me or to show an interest in 'that' way, they'd have to hold up a huge sign with big, thick black lettering saying "I'm flirting with you". Even then, I probably still wouldn't get it
I'm exactly the same, in fact that could have been me that typed that
But, to answer your question, a litany of 'issues'
I believe i'm firmly in the camp of being a 'project' rather than a 'partner'. Had a hugely over protective mother who never let me or my sister do anything, so you have confidence and esteem issues as the 'filling' on the cake.
Too many years of living on my own as well. I guess the best way to describe that is that you kind of lose touch with all the common social niceties and interactions. There's your icing for the aforementioned cake.
I often say that if anyone ever wanted to flirt with me or to show an interest in 'that' way, they'd have to hold up a huge sign with big, thick black lettering saying "I'm flirting with you". Even then, I probably still wouldn't get it
Is your sister the same way or has she been able to overcome her issues?
Have you ever considered CBT? You don't sound as if you are a project at all, just someone who needs a massive injection of self esteem and self confidence. You could achieve that through therapy. You can even do it online, at MoodGYM.
Lots of people live insular lives, but it doesn't mean you have to live life on the sidelines forever.
I have inner confidence issues. Think I'm being dumped soon due to this (for the first time in my life, as have messed up it), so am feeling very undateable at the moment.
I've had CBT before, 2 lots of counselling and a few appointments with a psychologist. Nothing has really worked I guess.
Jason you don't come across as someone who would find it hard to find a date or a lasting relationship to me. Just my instinctual impression. For you don't sound dull/boring, or unpleasant/cruel, or, the type who would leave people feeling emotionally cold. You come across as relatable.
I wonder if you've been socialising with the right type of people for you. People who get where you're coming from and appreciate what you have to offer. The wrong social group can close a person off to love, I believe.
Jason you don't come across as someone who would find it hard to find a date or a lasting relationship to me.
Thankyou
To be honest, I don't really socialise at all. Which I appreciate will invariably make people think "well there's your problem right there", which in a sense, is completely true, but it's just something i've never really done.
I think it goes back to what I said about living on my own too long and 'losing touch' with all the social niceties and interactions. I do often think that if i was put in that sort of situation, i'd feel like a total lemon sitting on the sidelines wondering if i could sneak out of the back door
That said, I've actually signed up for this 12 week 'Vitality' diet and exercise course which starts tomorrow, just so i can make sure i lose the last few lbs of weight to win my bet. It's going to be group sessions of exercising and talks about dieting and such (which i'm sure will be riveting ) so you can imagine i'm really looking forward to it. :eek:
I think a lot of posts here are through lack of confidence. I've been avoiding people for weeks, even good friends who've made efforts to see me. Since this morning I'm meeting up with an old friend tomorrow, and going latin dancing at the UEA on another occasion. Not dates, but good fun.
Comments
I suspect he sets his cap at tango tanned WAG wannabes who aren't interested in ordinary men and want someone with a massive wallet and celebrity lifestyle, and women like them aren't typical.
I had sympathy until then.
.. no there isn't ..
Lol I didn't! If people don't see that relationships are about more than being "hot, sexy or fit" then they don't deserve a loving partner.
Hi
I agree you are undatable and likely to remain single, but not for the reasons you have stated. Whereas I don't envisage Toyota or Jason having the same problems in the long run.
I agree we do have to be a bit superficial, as we are drawn to looks, thats the first thing we notice about someone, but for me, I like people with a personality, someone with a brain, someone that can hold a conversations. Someone not afraid to live life and not afraid to enjoy themselves, that plays a bigger part for me
As for unrealistic, depends on the circumstances, but the only way I can see someone being unrealistic, is if they want too much too soon, or expect too much. I don't think they can be unrealistic about looks as if you're going on a date and they've seen a pic, then they know exactly what to expect
Relationships based on looks, I'm not fond of, what if there's nothing in common, and looks fade, whereas relationships built on love, trust, honesty along with finding each other attractive, not taking each other for granted and a mutual attraction, well thats what i'd like
LOL.... oook...
Trapped wind dear boy?
There's nothing wrong with wanting those things at all, infact a relationship based on personality and compatibility will always be stronger than that based on looks and I doubt you're the only gay bloke looking for that. I would re-iterate that you come across as a decent chap on here, open and honest, which is always good. I'm sure your time will come soon, I've no doubt. Best of luck.
You'll make me blush
But, to answer your question, a litany of 'issues'
I believe i'm firmly in the camp of being a 'project' rather than a 'partner'. Had a hugely over protective mother who never let me or my sister do anything, so you have confidence and esteem issues as the 'filling' on the cake.
Too many years of living on my own as well. I guess the best way to describe that is that you kind of lose touch with all the common social niceties and interactions. There's your icing for the aforementioned cake.
I often say that if anyone ever wanted to flirt with me or to show an interest in 'that' way, they'd have to hold up a huge sign with big, thick black lettering saying "I'm flirting with you". Even then, I probably still wouldn't get it
I'm exactly the same, in fact that could have been me that typed that
Have you ever considered CBT? You don't sound as if you are a project at all, just someone who needs a massive injection of self esteem and self confidence. You could achieve that through therapy. You can even do it online, at MoodGYM.
Lots of people live insular lives, but it doesn't mean you have to live life on the sidelines forever.
I've had CBT before, 2 lots of counselling and a few appointments with a psychologist. Nothing has really worked I guess.
Jason you don't come across as someone who would find it hard to find a date or a lasting relationship to me. Just my instinctual impression. For you don't sound dull/boring, or unpleasant/cruel, or, the type who would leave people feeling emotionally cold. You come across as relatable.
I wonder if you've been socialising with the right type of people for you. People who get where you're coming from and appreciate what you have to offer. The wrong social group can close a person off to love, I believe.
Anyway, all the best.
Thankyou
To be honest, I don't really socialise at all. Which I appreciate will invariably make people think "well there's your problem right there", which in a sense, is completely true, but it's just something i've never really done.
I think it goes back to what I said about living on my own too long and 'losing touch' with all the social niceties and interactions. I do often think that if i was put in that sort of situation, i'd feel like a total lemon sitting on the sidelines wondering if i could sneak out of the back door
That said, I've actually signed up for this 12 week 'Vitality' diet and exercise course which starts tomorrow, just so i can make sure i lose the last few lbs of weight to win my bet. It's going to be group sessions of exercising and talks about dieting and such (which i'm sure will be riveting
I would have thought your recent weight loss would have boosted your confidence.
Getting out will bring back the self-lurve.