Confused dot com (seriously)
Hi everyone,
So that time's come again when I need advice on a friendship, prejudgements and sarcasm aside...
At the start of my course last september apart from dreading every monday lecture because of the people in it, I broke the ice and started talking with this guy who appeared quite shy. Fair enough he doesn't have a great deal of time for people because of his part-time job. After a few months on the rare occassions we got to talk longer, he was kind enough to send a birthday text etc. from time to time he'd tell me some deep rooted issues mainly about his homelife and how that affected uni (he stopped coming to lectures after a while). Had no problem with him opening up, though it did feel like he wasn't always listening if I had a problem but I put that down to paranoia and told him. Lately however, it's like he's avoiding me/some of his friends e.g. he's not a big talker but he gets back to people eventually if they post something on his facebook. But when I was chatting with another friend on msn, he came online so said hi and stuff then he went without a trace, tried calling him yesterday and no answer (sometimes comes online on sundays).
Not sure if I've given the wrong impression or something, last month I started messing around talking shakespearian (he's a fan of that era) dropping hints about a birthday gift. Then told him about a trip to thorpe park some others and I were organising, he sounded all for it still on a high from his birthday. But then it's like since I've been meeting up with other friends and posting pics on facebook he's become really distant, for example I hinted if he wanted to tag along with a friend and I to the O2 he was welcome but he opted out. Noticed he doesn't tell his boyfriend a lot of the personal stuff he tells me, not sure if he's developed a crush on me maybe? (He knows I'm asexual, joked he was too young for me one time)
So that time's come again when I need advice on a friendship, prejudgements and sarcasm aside...
At the start of my course last september apart from dreading every monday lecture because of the people in it, I broke the ice and started talking with this guy who appeared quite shy. Fair enough he doesn't have a great deal of time for people because of his part-time job. After a few months on the rare occassions we got to talk longer, he was kind enough to send a birthday text etc. from time to time he'd tell me some deep rooted issues mainly about his homelife and how that affected uni (he stopped coming to lectures after a while). Had no problem with him opening up, though it did feel like he wasn't always listening if I had a problem but I put that down to paranoia and told him. Lately however, it's like he's avoiding me/some of his friends e.g. he's not a big talker but he gets back to people eventually if they post something on his facebook. But when I was chatting with another friend on msn, he came online so said hi and stuff then he went without a trace, tried calling him yesterday and no answer (sometimes comes online on sundays).
Not sure if I've given the wrong impression or something, last month I started messing around talking shakespearian (he's a fan of that era) dropping hints about a birthday gift. Then told him about a trip to thorpe park some others and I were organising, he sounded all for it still on a high from his birthday. But then it's like since I've been meeting up with other friends and posting pics on facebook he's become really distant, for example I hinted if he wanted to tag along with a friend and I to the O2 he was welcome but he opted out. Noticed he doesn't tell his boyfriend a lot of the personal stuff he tells me, not sure if he's developed a crush on me maybe? (He knows I'm asexual, joked he was too young for me one time)
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Comments
Perhaps if you asked the mods to change your title to something more appropriate, you would attract the right people to read and give you advice.
The BIB stood out, he didnt apear to listen to your problems so you told him he was paranoid? is that right?
It doesnt sound like he has a crush on you, just that he's not that interested in spending time with you. How do you know what stuff he tells his boyfriend?
I've had a similar thing happen and it went on so long I just moved on. He could be jealous you have made other friends as well as him even though you're trying your darnedest to include hm.
What Sherbet Lemon said.
BIB- He shouldn't be, hinted a few times if ever he wants to join me like going to the BFI (got membership).
You're not being rude Beau, mentioned a family dispute once or twice whereas he's been very frank about his current family problems.
BIB- Been thinking this for a while
Mods could you change the title of my thread to Friend concerns please, thanks.
So, are you going to explain why, or were you waiting to be asked?
That's OK - I was just a little confused because of how the situation seemed when the thread last ended!
It's nuts how something so trivial can escalate though, I take it that things haven't really changed since June?
Well, honestly, is really worth so much emotional investment? I'm not saying that you shouldn't be friends with him, but proper friendship is a two way thing - it sounds to me like this is all one way. I do believe in trusting instinct - I think it comes from picking up on something without actually realising what it is (if that makes sense!)