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Flatmate Problems

Cestrian18Cestrian18 Posts: 6,857
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in Advice #1
Hi everyone, I just wanted some advice about some ongoing issues in my student flat. Basically my flatmates make no attempt to communicate with me and concerns are raised by email in quite an aggressive way, for example, I have been admonished by email for not wiping a surface in a morning when I was late for work (I try to be considerate most of the time) and also because I hosted some friends for dinner so I apparently made him wait to use the kitchen until we had left, he has also taken issue with my tv being too loud, bit instead of simply walking across the corridor and asking me politely to turn it down (which I would) he sends me another email the following morning. It's quite clear he's taken a dislike to me as whenever I try to be polite it's always fairly abrupt and it's making me feel uncomfortable in my home, and with things like heating and stuff coming up the lack of communication worries me. I'd love to move out but the lease runs until July so I'm just trying to ignore it until then as I don't want an argument if I can help it but I still want to invite people round without fear of a snarky email every time I do :( Any advice to make the situation better would be appreciated :)

Comments

  • Penny CrayonPenny Crayon Posts: 36,158
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    #2
    Could you not e mail him and tell him that you're finding the lack of personal interaction a little odd. Apologise if necessary (if you think you have anything to apologise for) and say that maybe you've got off on the wrong foot. Arrange to go for a drink or something to talk things through.

    It's a long way till July - think you need to establish some sort of relationship. Perhaps he's really shy and lacks confidence or something.
  • icic Posts: 903
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    #3
    Face to face ! That is all .Jesus Christ .
  • mel1213mel1213 Posts: 8,642
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    #4
    Just speak to the guy, say you don´t appreciate PA/snarky emails and in future, if he has an issue, he should bring it up with you directly, face to face, unless there´s a good reason not to (eg if you have company and he doesn´t want to have it out with you in front of other people)

    Also, maybe it´s time to sit down with him and decide on some house rules so that everyone knows the expectations and that way PA emails can be avoided.
  • FilliAFilliA Posts: 864
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    #5
    You need to stand up for yourself. If he had to wait while you were using the kitchen, thats the nature of a flatshare- you are sharing and you have to take turns. Did he ask if it was ok to use the kitchen while you were in there? Was he welcome to and was there room?If he sat in his bedroom seething without letting you know he was waiting it's his problem. It sounds like you would have made space for him if he'd asked.

    If you would rather things were discussed face to face say so. You just have to say feel free to give me a knock if I'm noisy, its hard to judge how sound carries, and please dont feel you have to email me about any problem.
  • lemonbunlemonbun Posts: 5,371
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    #6
    ic wrote: »
    Face to face ! That is all .Jesus Christ .

    I agree.

    In my day at university, there was no mobile phones and no internet. We had to talk to each other.

    OP: That is what you and your flatmates need to do.
  • WolfsheadishWolfsheadish Posts: 10,400
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    #7
    Having worked with such a person in the past (she used to send e-mails to the rest of us with various comments/complaints even though we were all in the same area) I feel your pain! I'd agree with the advice you've been given here. Firm but polite is recommended!
  • icic Posts: 903
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    #8
    Why are people so bloody sensitive ? Grow a pair ffs !
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