best text joke 2010

dean michaeldean michael Posts: 29,982
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What Was The Best Text Joke You Had This Year?
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  • ste1969ste1969 Posts: 1,203
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    What Was The Best Text Joke You Had This Year?



    are you trying to get us all banned:D
  • 80's chick80's chick Posts: 5,207
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    Q......... what do you call a woman with two c**ts.

    A.......... NDubz:D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,038
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    80's chick wrote: »
    Q......... what do you call a woman with two c**ts.

    A.......... NDubz:D


    Oh, how I love that joke!

    Mine was what's brown and rhymes with snoop?

    Dr Dre
  • dean michaeldean michael Posts: 29,982
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    ste1969 wrote: »
    are you trying to get us all banned:D

    would i do that;)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,727
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    "Just heard on the news the body of a fat woman has been found in the park. Just texting to see if you're OK."
  • Wayne DibblyWayne Dibbly Posts: 3,252
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    After careful consideration of your performance as a friend in 2010, I have decided to extend your friendship for a further 12 months. Try not to F*ck it up.
  • cosmocosmo Posts: 26,840
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    Got some new deodorant for Christmas. On the bottle it says, "Remove cap and push up bottom."

    My arse is a bit sore but my farts smell lovely.
  • gmphmacgmphmac Posts: 2,212
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    I daren't type it here TBH :o
  • Mr_TartMr_Tart Posts: 635
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    There is something I need to tell you but it's really hard to say.

    Ken Dodd's Dad's Dogs dead.
  • Pepperoni ManPepperoni Man Posts: 7,798
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    Someone threw a lump of cheese at me today - I said "That's not very mature"
  • Bedsit BobBedsit Bob Posts: 24,344
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    I'm sorry if my phone keeps calling you.

    It's the fault of these damn people, who can't drive in this snow!

    My phone is voice activated & everytime I yell 'f**king moron', it dials your number.
    :D
    ____________________________
    Good looks catch the eye, but good personality catches the heart.

    You're blessed with both!

    Flattered :confused:

    Well f**k off, it was sent to me.

    I just wanted you to read it!
    :D
  • Bendy WendyBendy Wendy Posts: 1,667
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    Just got home and found all the doors and windows open and everything gone. What kind of sick bastard does that to someone's advent calandar?
  • CXC3000CXC3000 Posts: 10,258
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    80's chick wrote: »
    Q......... what do you call a woman with two c**ts.

    A.......... NDubz:D

    I don't get it :confused:
  • 21stCenturyBoy21stCenturyBoy Posts: 44,493
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    The only one I heard was "Whats white and slides across the dance floor?" "Come Dancing"
  • 21stCenturyBoy21stCenturyBoy Posts: 44,493
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    CXC3000 wrote: »
    I don't get it :confused:

    NDubz are a three piece band comprising of one woman and two men.
  • CXC3000CXC3000 Posts: 10,258
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    NDubz are a three piece band comprising of one woman and two men.

    Oh (lol) :D
  • Pepperoni ManPepperoni Man Posts: 7,798
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    CXC3000 wrote: »
    Oh (lol) :D

    I get it now as well :D
  • shaggy_xshaggy_x Posts: 3,599
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    top thread. Please keep them coming :)
  • dip_transferdip_transfer Posts: 2,327
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    What's got 4 legs and a C**t halfway up it's back?


    A Police horse.......

    and that's one of the cleanest i received.
  • KBBJKBBJ Posts: 10,266
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    Someone threw a lump of cheese at me today - I said "That's not very mature"

    That is brilliant.

    The racist one upthread is not.
  • Si_CreweSi_Crewe Posts: 40,202
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    From a confessed sickipedia subscriber...

    A guy goes to a library and asks for a book about suicide.
    The librarian says "F**k off. You won't bring it back".
  • dip_transferdip_transfer Posts: 2,327
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    With hindsight, I should have posted my Facebook status as,

    " I've just blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" Rather than, " Ive just F***ed a 13 year old Escort"... Still the police saw the funny side of it......Eventually:o
  • Si_CreweSi_Crewe Posts: 40,202
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    Well that's a bit strange.

    Some posts seem to have been removed from this thread while, apparently, the DS mod's seem to think it's okay to call a police-man a c*nt. :rolleyes:

    Top tip fella's: When you're removing inappropriate content, try just editing the post and replacing it with the words "Inappropriate content removed".
    That way a poster can SEE that they've posted something inappropriate. ;)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,066
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    80's chick wrote: »
    Q......... what do you call a woman with two c**ts.

    A.......... NDubz:D

    That's definitely the best one I've heard all year. Priceless! :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 17,123
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    Si_Crewe wrote: »
    Well that's a bit strange.

    Some posts seem to have been removed from this thread while, apparently, the DS mod's seem to think it's okay to call a police-man a c*nt. :rolleyes:

    Top tip fella's: When you're removing inappropriate content, try just editing the post and replacing it with the words "Inappropriate content removed".
    That way a poster can SEE that they've posted something inappropriate. ;)

    Calling a police officer a c*nt is A LOT less offensive then racism. The mods removed a racist joke and good on them.
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