Teddy bear sexually molested during burglary...

TelevisionUserTelevisionUser Posts: 41,416
Forum Member
When I first saw that headline, I thought it must be some form of joke or prank. Shockingly, it actually turned out to be true (double :o:o).

For once, I'm lost for words so I'll use this image:

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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _\. . . . . ._,-%. . . ..

/!\ Caution - full details and graphic image are given: Burglar caught after having sex with teddy bear
«1

Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 5,800
    Forum Member
    ... the staged bear leaking semen on a street rather than an allotment is a little odd...
  • DangerBrotherDangerBrother Posts: 1,623
    Forum Member
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    Ursuagalmatophilia...

    Blimey,

    That picture is a bit wrong too
  • TardisSteveTardisSteve Posts: 8,077
    Forum Member
    am lost for words
    When I first saw that headline, I thought it must be some form of joke or prank. Shockingly, it actually turned out to be true (double :o:o).

    For once, I'm lost for words so I'll use this image:

    . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . ,.-‘”. . . . . . . . . .``~.,
    . . . . . . . .. . . . . .,.-”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .“-.,
    . . . . .. . . . . . ..,/. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ”:,
    . . . . . . . .. .,?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\,
    . . . . . . . . . /. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,}
    . . . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`^`.}
    . . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:”. . . ./
    . . . . . . .?. . . __. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . :`. . . ./
    . . . . . . . /__.(. . .“~-,_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`. . . .. ./
    . . . . . . /(_. . ”~,_. . . ..“~,_. . . . . . . . . .,:`. . . . _/
    . . . .. .{.._$;_. . .”=,_. . . .“-,_. . . ,.-~-,}, .~”; /. .. .}
    . . .. . .((. . .*~_. . . .”=-._. . .“;,,./`. . /” . . . ./. .. ../
    . . . .. . .\`~,. . ..“~.,. . . . . . . . . ..`. . .}. . . . . . ../
    . . . . . .(. ..`=-,,. . . .`. . . . . . . . . . . ..(. . . ;_,,-”
    . . . . . ../.`~,. . ..`-.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..\. . /\
    . . . . . . \`~.*-,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..|,./.....\,__
    ,,_. . . . . }.>-._\. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .|. . . . . . ..`=~-,
    . .. `=~-,_\_. . . `\,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\
    . . . . . . . . . .`=~-,,.\,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . `:,, . . . . . . . . . . . . . `\. . . . . . ..__
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .`=-,. . . . . . . . . .,%`>--==``
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _\. . . . . ._,-%. . . ..

    /!\ Caution - full details and graphic image are given: Burglar caught after having sex with teddy bear

    picard facepalm, like it :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,249
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    Winne the ooh!
  • planetsplanets Posts: 47,784
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    ... the staged bear leaking semen on a street rather than an allotment is a little odd...

    it's what the future holds for the tragic bear, reduced to being a rent bear ....:cry:
  • Miss XYZMiss XYZ Posts: 14,023
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    That isn't the actual teddy bear in the picture though. Says it's a stock image. I'd like to know what happened to that poor bear in the pic!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 5,800
    Forum Member
    planets wrote: »
    it's what the future holds for the tragic bear, reduced to being a rent bear ....:cry:


    ...tbf...it's little wonder the burglar was in need of relief..the bear still seeping when that photie was taken,the poor chap must measure every ejaculation in gallons...his poor bollocks must have been the size of footballs...:(
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 5,692
    Forum Member
    Miss XYZ wrote: »
    That isn't the actual teddy bear in the picture though. Says it's a stock image. I'd like to know what happened to that poor bear in the pic!

    It just goes to show there is a stock image of just about anything.
  • Toby LaRhoneToby LaRhone Posts: 12,916
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    The bear faced cheeks of it all!
  • planetsplanets Posts: 47,784
    Forum Member
    ...tbf...it's little wonder the burglar was in need of relief..the bear still seeping when that photie was taken,the poor chap must measure every ejaculation in gallons...his poor bollocks must have been the size of footballs...:(

    too much information *searches for brain bleach*
  • zx50zx50 Posts: 91,269
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    Bloody hell! Things in this world just get weirder and weirder.
  • solenoidsolenoid Posts: 15,495
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    The bear was asking for it.
  • bryemycazbryemycaz Posts: 11,737
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    Must have been another bear.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXM6Hl5eU2I
  • Corkhead.Corkhead. Posts: 445
    Forum Member
    If you go down in the woods today you're in for a big surprise
    If you go down in the woods today you'll never believe your eyes
    Cos if you're Ted
    You'll end up in bed
    With DLT and Gary G
    Todays the day
    The nonces have their piiiiiicnic.
  • CBFreakCBFreak Posts: 28,602
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    Reminds me of the huggably soft bear from Robot Chicken

    (removed video as felt was too mature for site)
  • dee123dee123 Posts: 46,265
    Forum Member
    "Found his DNA inside a teddy bear" :o:o:o

    To quote That's So Raven: YA NASTY!
  • d'@ved'@ve Posts: 45,524
    Forum Member
  • exlordlucanexlordlucan Posts: 35,375
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    He's got the right surname, he mounts anything :D
  • HypnodiscHypnodisc Posts: 22,728
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    Not that weird for a crystal-methamphetamine user.

    That stuff really ups your libido to the point that you would quite comfortably try having sex with a cactus.
  • twingletwingle Posts: 19,322
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    Burglar must have been ex boarding school brat! OH has told me all sorts f stories about the teddy bear game :D
  • TheMunchTheMunch Posts: 9,024
    Forum Member
    If in a court would they get a teddy bear and say to the victim "point where the bad man touched you"?
  • c0boc0bo Posts: 6,468
    Forum Member
    I'll never see Teddy Bears in the same light again.
  • RobinOfLoxleyRobinOfLoxley Posts: 27,040
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    bryemycaz wrote: »

    Genius and deviancy. It's a narrow line.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xblXyUfQ0HI
  • WhatJoeThinksWhatJoeThinks Posts: 11,037
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    GeoBa92 wrote: »
    It just goes to show there is a stock image of just about anything.

    I can imagine the people who write for the Metro doing a standard search for teddy bear photos and stumbling across that image. It's sodden, not sodomized. Looks like standard street photographer's fodder, or a "found object".

    Then of course there'd be a discussion as to whether it's suitable for the article... :D They know that some people will sense the ridiculousness, surely? Good on them for taking the edge off an otherwise disgusting story, I say.
  • Aarghawasp!Aarghawasp! Posts: 6,205
    Forum Member
    It was the bear's fault for being drunk.
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