I think if she just had a drink or something lighter with her aunty that she might cause aunty to be flustered and questioning. I know an elderly relative of mine may feel they were a burden and I couldn't wait to rush off to my friends. I think her family loyalty is to be praised. I have worked with elderly and disabled people who do not see a relative atall even though they live locally.
whats the big deal if your friend goes and does what she normally does with her mum and aunty, you and your other friend go for dinner and then she meets up with you after dinner for drinks? Maybe i haven't read the thread right but i'm struggling to see what the problem is here. OP i know you want to do the whole dinner with all your friends but surely if one cant make the meal but can go out later then thats better that making an issue out of it. and then not see her at all? As other posters have said elderly people need their routine and its not ideal to distrupt it.
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