Don't talk about Zainab and Masood's marriage problems out loud...or anything for that matter. Yusef will ALWAYS be there to hear it.
Pat's earrings must get a mention every once in a while.
People NEVER accept calls on their mobile. They look at the caller and pretend to think about answering, but you know they're gonna press the Reject button anyway.
When Dot says "I ain't one to gossip" you know you're about to hear something juicy!
People in EE don't deem it necessary to rid themselves of any incriminating documents through the use of a shredder, instead they decide that the best way to get rid of something potentially relationship damaging, is to throw it in a bin, under the assumption that your spouse won't attempt to throw anything in the aforementioned bin in the next couple of scenes and miss, in doing so they happen to knock the bin over and see your document...classic.
People in EE don't deem it necessary to rid themselves of any incriminating documents through the use of a shredder, instead they decide that the best way to get rid of something potentially relationship damaging, is to throw it in a bin, under the assumption that your spouse won't attempt to throw anything in the aforementioned bin in the next couple of scenes and miss, in doing so they happen to knock the bin over and see your document...classic.
Or if you're Roxy, shove the incriminating document under a box of crisps in the Vic, making sure that a little bit is sticking out for someone to see.
When a scottish person comes on the square, they are either evil/weird/mental/creepy/always drunk/talking about drink/woking around drink or a combination of all these qualities.
When an old 'gangsta' comes to th square Pat has always had them as client in her past.
despite quoting the bible everyday of her life, Dot doesn't appear to go to church every week (Jesus is raging!)
- washing machine #3 in the laundrette never gets fixed. This will be the death of someone…
- People can easily be found at 2 (or more!) different places at any given time.
- R&R has one poxy little room but is big enough to produce lucrative business. Talking of R&R, if you’re a male and in the age range 35-55, you will get locked in R&R office at least once.
A relative you have never mentioned or was aware of will pop out of the woodwork and you will be living together together.
Having a fancy dress party? Last minute? No problem everyone will turn up in costumes that only professional shops have, nobody has made it themselves.
In a scene where you want to vent your emotions everyone will go silent you so you can finish your long monologue.
A relative you have never mentioned or was aware of will pop out of the woodwork and you will be living together together.
Having a fancy dress party? Last minute? No problem everyone will turn up in costumes that only professional shops have, nobody has made it themselves.
In a scene where you want to vent your emotions everyone will go silent you so you can finish your long monologue.
ahahaha, so true. If you did that in the RW people who heckle you or continue on their conversation.
This thread is hysterical! I don't even watch EastEnders that much but whenever I have, I recognise all of these soap opera cliches. I can't stop laughing at some of these; the 'Argee Bargi', 'whos turning off the music in the Queen Vic during a dramatic moment' and the 'all the belongings in a small case' are my highlights
This thread is the same reason I like Harry Hill lol
Tracey the local barmaid who everyone recognises and seems to like has barely said anything to anyone...ever
People don't seem to discuss the dramatic events that have happened in/around your house despite everyone knowing about them
Any music that is playing on the radio is being played for months after everyone stopped liking it
Police will take about 3 years to turn up if there's been a murder or any other serious crime. For lesser crimes they get there within 3 seconds.
If you find yourself in a cell for the night there's always a slightly overweight, sarcastic and smarmy copper who pops in, and refuses to listen to your desperate pleas of innocence.
If you're having a breakdown and a police officer happens to be nearby during one of your 'episodes', you WILL get arrested when you inevitably but accidentally punch them in the face!
Christmas is always the saddest, worst, most dangerous time of year. At least 3 secrets come out, deaths or injuries will occur or anything else bad will happen between the 23rd and the 26th December.
Dot Branning will hold or smoke a **** at least twice an episode.
Roxy will start shouting at random times, in the middle of sentences and when not necessary.
Your car will only appear at convenient times. Otherwise, it is invisible.
Vanessa will always wear the same jacket, which is always whiter than Simon Cowell's teeth.
Patrick will mention Rum every time we see him.
Phil Mitchell will deflate in every scene he is in.
Heather will feel sorry for herself in every episode.
When somebody is sad, they will go to the laundarette to sit down and wallow in self pity. If not, they will go to the park, on the tyre swing, to sit down and wallow in self pity.
Billy Mitchell's forehead wrinkles up like a batch of pork scratchings whenever he's even slightly down or angry.
Kim will move around like a puppet controlled by a drunk person in every scene.
You have sex with Jack you will get pregnant...and die!
Remember ladies watching always take your pill before EastEnders, when Jack appears view with caution as his sperm can't be controlled. If you're worried that you might be pregnant then there is a BBC actionline for help or just go back to the safety of the kitchen.
Comments
Pat's earrings must get a mention every once in a while.
People NEVER accept calls on their mobile. They look at the caller and pretend to think about answering, but you know they're gonna press the Reject button anyway.
When Dot says "I ain't one to gossip" you know you're about to hear something juicy!
Or if you're Roxy, shove the incriminating document under a box of crisps in the Vic, making sure that a little bit is sticking out for someone to see.
When an old 'gangsta' comes to th square Pat has always had them as client in her past.
despite quoting the bible everyday of her life, Dot doesn't appear to go to church every week (Jesus is raging!)
- washing machine #3 in the laundrette never gets fixed. This will be the death of someone…
- People can easily be found at 2 (or more!) different places at any given time.
- R&R has one poxy little room but is big enough to produce lucrative business. Talking of R&R, if you’re a male and in the age range 35-55, you will get locked in R&R office at least once.
- Roxy must jingle when she moves.
Haha, so true. Even extends to places like the cafe and pub at times as well.
Yep. You'll happily hand over keys, stachels full of money etc without too much worry :rolleyes:
Having a fancy dress party? Last minute? No problem everyone will turn up in costumes that only professional shops have, nobody has made it themselves.
In a scene where you want to vent your emotions everyone will go silent you so you can finish your long monologue.
ahahaha, so true. If you did that in the RW people who heckle you or continue on their conversation.
This thread is the same reason I like Harry Hill lol
Tracey the local barmaid who everyone recognises and seems to like has barely said anything to anyone...ever
People don't seem to discuss the dramatic events that have happened in/around your house despite everyone knowing about them
Any music that is playing on the radio is being played for months after everyone stopped liking it
If you find yourself in a cell for the night there's always a slightly overweight, sarcastic and smarmy copper who pops in, and refuses to listen to your desperate pleas of innocence.
If you're having a breakdown and a police officer happens to be nearby during one of your 'episodes', you WILL get arrested when you inevitably but accidentally punch them in the face!
Rushed into hospital? Don't worry - as an Albert Square resident you get your own private room for the duration of your stay.
Stopped paying your buildings insurance? Well that was silly, your property will now fall down or be engulfed by fire, within a week.
Dot Branning will hold or smoke a **** at least twice an episode.
Roxy will start shouting at random times, in the middle of sentences and when not necessary.
Your car will only appear at convenient times. Otherwise, it is invisible.
Vanessa will always wear the same jacket, which is always whiter than Simon Cowell's teeth.
Patrick will mention Rum every time we see him.
Phil Mitchell will deflate in every scene he is in.
Heather will feel sorry for herself in every episode.
When somebody is sad, they will go to the laundarette to sit down and wallow in self pity. If not, they will go to the park, on the tyre swing, to sit down and wallow in self pity.
Billy Mitchell's forehead wrinkles up like a batch of pork scratchings whenever he's even slightly down or angry.
Kim will move around like a puppet controlled by a drunk person in every scene.
Sorry if any of these have been said already.
Supposedly tough males must be scared of Phil
Billy must always be treated like crap by Phil, and still go back for more:yawn:
No matter how attractive a women is she will find Phil Mitchell irresistible at some point in her stay in walford.
Remember ladies watching always take your pill before EastEnders, when Jack appears view with caution as his sperm can't be controlled. If you're worried that you might be pregnant then there is a BBC actionline for help or just go back to the safety of the kitchen.
Most of Walfords under 18s have least one dead parent.
No matter how young your child is or how old Dot is, you will have no problem leaving them with her why you go and spend your last fiver at the Vic.
If your a girl your estranged mother will turn up and your relationship will be strained!!
If you have an estranged sibling they will turn up and your relationship will be strained!!
You have friends that you do not see for years and then they just appear out of nowhere to complicate your life!
You move to a new area and know everyones name by your third episode!
A dog definately is not for life (normally about 3 months!)