Simplicity
Goosebee
Posts: 5,290 Forum Member
✭
Chapter 1: Sleepless Nights
"Maybe we should just catch a movie or something".
How could he have been so stupid? Holly's face had said it all- and she was right, sitting on his bed, her hand sliding up his leg, Jason knew that neither he nor Holly had wanted to watch a film. As soon as he felt her hands sliding over his body, and tugging at his shirt though, he knew that he had to say something that would distract her. Anything to buy him some time. The look on her face after had said it all. She look crestfallen and bewildered, curious as to what she had done wrong, but most of all sad- her eyelashes tinged with moisture. It hadn't taken long for her to make her excuses and depart, leaving Jason to take matters into his own hands as he slipped into the shower before going to bed. Not that it made him feel any better -especially knowing that Holly was hurting.
***
"Ok Baby, Mummy's here." Sienna lowered her voice as she crossed the room to the baby's cot, desperate to quiet her murmurs before she woke sobbing and ready for another bottle. "Shhhhh. It's ok." She stroked the babies face softly, urging her to close her eyes so the pair of them could have another couple of hours sleep. She loved being a mum. The feeling of pride as she looked at her offspring. Her petite features located in all the right places to win every beauty pageant under the sun. There wasn't an inch of the little girl she didn't love, wouldn't do anything for. As the cries became louder Sienna smiled picking her daughter up. Bundling her close to her chest she took a deep breath, inhaling the aroma of the baby and allowing it to intoxicate her mind. "Just this once", she smiled, "you can sleep with mummy."
***
"No way. I'm not picking- just because you get off on seducing the older lady" Darren winked at Dodger.
"Come on Dazza. You must have a preference. Nana or Myra McQueen?"
"I've told you. I only want Nancy back."
"And I've told you- stick another pint in there", Dodger handed Darren his empty glass, "your a bloke. You'd be lying if you said you don't window shop."
"I'm done with airing my dirty laundry in public thanks mate."
"If you think that's dirty I'd hate to think what you call my Internet history." Dodger smirked- it had been too long since he had seen Darren laughing.
Darren pulled a face. "I don't even want to think about that."
"Probably for the best- so what's happening with you and Nancy?"
"Like I said...I want her back."
Dodger raised his glass to Darren and patted him on the back- "it'll happen."
***
Finn sat on the sofa staring at John - Paul who was sitting across the room between Ste and Sinead. Ever since Robbie had begin his hate campaign against the teacher Finn had rebuked his friendship, not wanting to be part of it when he had so much going on in his own life. Not liking the way that Robbie treated people. Yet he couldn't help but watch him. He was curious about his lifestyle. How he came to make the choices that he had. He knew Sinead hadn't noticed but for the last half hour Ste and John-Paul's legs had been pressed tightly together, the pair exchanging knowing smiles when they thought nobody was watching. He chuckled to himself enjoying the fact that both men kept shifting positions slightly in their seats struggling to hide their arousal which Sinead was oblivious to, too busy twittering on about the big fat gypsy wedding on the tv to be aware of the chemistry hidden in the room. With nobody watching him however, Finn was easily able to hide exactly how naughty the thoughts running through his mind were. A loud thud suddenly shook the room, followed by a scream.
"Wha was that?" Finn looked at he trio on the sofa.
"It happens every night." Sinead responded without moving her eyes from the television. "Patrick and Maxine have got surround sound installed and he's forcing her to watch films from his old war collection." Silence resumed as nobody responded. Finn returned to observing his companions, watching closely as the two men continued to taunt each other, their trousers getting noticeably tighter- but only to those who were looking.
***
"You couldn't sleep either mate?". Freddie turned as Joe and Lindsay entered the kitchen, his eyes focussing over the top of his tea on the pairs dishevelled appearance. Lindsay was in Joe's dressing gown, her immaculate hair tussled where it lay on her shoulder's, her face red and flushed, her golden brown eyes bleary and ready to sleep. Despite its flaws Freddie found her appearance to be perfection, even though he knew she would think of herself as anything but. Joe on the other hand looked anything but tired. Standing in just is boxers and football socks he picked an apple up laughing at Freddie's vacant expression. "Earth to Freddie?"
"What yeah sure I'll make you tea."
Lindsay laughed. "Not what he said silly." As she spoke Freddie couldn't help but notice her twirling her hair round her fingers.
"Sorry Bro. Tired. Gonna go to sleep." Freddie stumbled his words out desperate to escape the kitchen. He gasped as Lindsay leant forwards, plant a soft succulent kiss on his cheek. As she did he slowly inhaled, smelling her hair hair, but disappointed to also be able to smell Joe on her.
"Night Fred." He pulled away, vanishing from the kitchen, as fast as his legs would allow.
Joe turned to look at Lindsay, "What was that about?"
She sighed. "I have absolutely no idea."
***
Jason rolled over, desperate to try to get some sleep but having less and less luck the more he tried. Above him Robbie was snoring, one arm hanging over the bed as he took great delight in a restful nights sleep. Jason pulled the covers up to his neck , doing everything he could to get comfortable. He could hear someone on the stairs returning to bed, no doubt Ziggy, home from pulling another bird. It amazed him how confident his brothers were, particularly Ziggy who informed him, on several occasions that by Jason's age he had slept with fourteen different girls. Even Robbie the youngest, had no qualms about his perceived credentials. He was happy to flaunt himself time and time again, though he had far less luck pulling than Freddie or Ziggy. Jason had even known Robbie to get his meat out, just for a free burger. Still, Jason knew he wasn't ugly, he just wasn't on par with his brothers. Though that could change of course. Feeling despondant he ran his hands over his scrawny chest. He could feel bones and it sickened him. Angry, he pushed his hands under his pillows desperate to stop thinking, stop touching what he was and craving what he wasn't. Yet as soon as he did he knew he had made a fatal error as he felt his hands close around the cold metal handles and pull the scissors from beneath his pillow...
So guys third and final attempt to actually write.i have changed some storylines. I'm not comfortable writing about rape as i don't think I could write it appropriately as ever I would LOVE some feedback... This was inspired by the fanfic thread.
"Maybe we should just catch a movie or something".
How could he have been so stupid? Holly's face had said it all- and she was right, sitting on his bed, her hand sliding up his leg, Jason knew that neither he nor Holly had wanted to watch a film. As soon as he felt her hands sliding over his body, and tugging at his shirt though, he knew that he had to say something that would distract her. Anything to buy him some time. The look on her face after had said it all. She look crestfallen and bewildered, curious as to what she had done wrong, but most of all sad- her eyelashes tinged with moisture. It hadn't taken long for her to make her excuses and depart, leaving Jason to take matters into his own hands as he slipped into the shower before going to bed. Not that it made him feel any better -especially knowing that Holly was hurting.
***
"Ok Baby, Mummy's here." Sienna lowered her voice as she crossed the room to the baby's cot, desperate to quiet her murmurs before she woke sobbing and ready for another bottle. "Shhhhh. It's ok." She stroked the babies face softly, urging her to close her eyes so the pair of them could have another couple of hours sleep. She loved being a mum. The feeling of pride as she looked at her offspring. Her petite features located in all the right places to win every beauty pageant under the sun. There wasn't an inch of the little girl she didn't love, wouldn't do anything for. As the cries became louder Sienna smiled picking her daughter up. Bundling her close to her chest she took a deep breath, inhaling the aroma of the baby and allowing it to intoxicate her mind. "Just this once", she smiled, "you can sleep with mummy."
***
"No way. I'm not picking- just because you get off on seducing the older lady" Darren winked at Dodger.
"Come on Dazza. You must have a preference. Nana or Myra McQueen?"
"I've told you. I only want Nancy back."
"And I've told you- stick another pint in there", Dodger handed Darren his empty glass, "your a bloke. You'd be lying if you said you don't window shop."
"I'm done with airing my dirty laundry in public thanks mate."
"If you think that's dirty I'd hate to think what you call my Internet history." Dodger smirked- it had been too long since he had seen Darren laughing.
Darren pulled a face. "I don't even want to think about that."
"Probably for the best- so what's happening with you and Nancy?"
"Like I said...I want her back."
Dodger raised his glass to Darren and patted him on the back- "it'll happen."
***
Finn sat on the sofa staring at John - Paul who was sitting across the room between Ste and Sinead. Ever since Robbie had begin his hate campaign against the teacher Finn had rebuked his friendship, not wanting to be part of it when he had so much going on in his own life. Not liking the way that Robbie treated people. Yet he couldn't help but watch him. He was curious about his lifestyle. How he came to make the choices that he had. He knew Sinead hadn't noticed but for the last half hour Ste and John-Paul's legs had been pressed tightly together, the pair exchanging knowing smiles when they thought nobody was watching. He chuckled to himself enjoying the fact that both men kept shifting positions slightly in their seats struggling to hide their arousal which Sinead was oblivious to, too busy twittering on about the big fat gypsy wedding on the tv to be aware of the chemistry hidden in the room. With nobody watching him however, Finn was easily able to hide exactly how naughty the thoughts running through his mind were. A loud thud suddenly shook the room, followed by a scream.
"Wha was that?" Finn looked at he trio on the sofa.
"It happens every night." Sinead responded without moving her eyes from the television. "Patrick and Maxine have got surround sound installed and he's forcing her to watch films from his old war collection." Silence resumed as nobody responded. Finn returned to observing his companions, watching closely as the two men continued to taunt each other, their trousers getting noticeably tighter- but only to those who were looking.
***
"You couldn't sleep either mate?". Freddie turned as Joe and Lindsay entered the kitchen, his eyes focussing over the top of his tea on the pairs dishevelled appearance. Lindsay was in Joe's dressing gown, her immaculate hair tussled where it lay on her shoulder's, her face red and flushed, her golden brown eyes bleary and ready to sleep. Despite its flaws Freddie found her appearance to be perfection, even though he knew she would think of herself as anything but. Joe on the other hand looked anything but tired. Standing in just is boxers and football socks he picked an apple up laughing at Freddie's vacant expression. "Earth to Freddie?"
"What yeah sure I'll make you tea."
Lindsay laughed. "Not what he said silly." As she spoke Freddie couldn't help but notice her twirling her hair round her fingers.
"Sorry Bro. Tired. Gonna go to sleep." Freddie stumbled his words out desperate to escape the kitchen. He gasped as Lindsay leant forwards, plant a soft succulent kiss on his cheek. As she did he slowly inhaled, smelling her hair hair, but disappointed to also be able to smell Joe on her.
"Night Fred." He pulled away, vanishing from the kitchen, as fast as his legs would allow.
Joe turned to look at Lindsay, "What was that about?"
She sighed. "I have absolutely no idea."
***
Jason rolled over, desperate to try to get some sleep but having less and less luck the more he tried. Above him Robbie was snoring, one arm hanging over the bed as he took great delight in a restful nights sleep. Jason pulled the covers up to his neck , doing everything he could to get comfortable. He could hear someone on the stairs returning to bed, no doubt Ziggy, home from pulling another bird. It amazed him how confident his brothers were, particularly Ziggy who informed him, on several occasions that by Jason's age he had slept with fourteen different girls. Even Robbie the youngest, had no qualms about his perceived credentials. He was happy to flaunt himself time and time again, though he had far less luck pulling than Freddie or Ziggy. Jason had even known Robbie to get his meat out, just for a free burger. Still, Jason knew he wasn't ugly, he just wasn't on par with his brothers. Though that could change of course. Feeling despondant he ran his hands over his scrawny chest. He could feel bones and it sickened him. Angry, he pushed his hands under his pillows desperate to stop thinking, stop touching what he was and craving what he wasn't. Yet as soon as he did he knew he had made a fatal error as he felt his hands close around the cold metal handles and pull the scissors from beneath his pillow...
So guys third and final attempt to actually write.i have changed some storylines. I'm not comfortable writing about rape as i don't think I could write it appropriately as ever I would LOVE some feedback... This was inspired by the fanfic thread.
0
Comments
Any other feedback? All appreciated.
"Come on sleeping beauty, time to get up".
Jason winced as Robbie threw a pillow at him forcing him to sit up. "Since when did you become a morning person?" He rubbed his eyes.
"Since I came up with a plan."
Jason adjusted his covers. "And what might that be?"
Robbie paused halfway out the door. "Well baby brother, some people see a man about a dog, I need to see a woman about a cat." He winked as his disappeared from sight slamming the bathroom door behind him. Jason cringed, only understanding his brothers point when he had been gone too long to appreciate any appropriate comeback.
Pushing the covers back Jason shot a glance into the hallway. Nobody was around but he needed to be quick. Rushing to his wardrobe he grabbed for his uniform pulling it around his body as if his life depended on it. Slipping into his blazer he breathed a sigh of relief. Casting one last look around the bedroom he walked over to his desk, grabbed an elastic band and slipped it over his wrist. Now he was ready for the day to begin. The aroma of burnt bacon was wafting up from the kitchen- another successful morning breakfast from his mum he thought as he bounded downstairs attempting to remain cheerful.
"Jason love, your ready early," Sandy paused gesturing around the kitchen "why can't the rest of you be like that?".
His brothers really didn't care. Freddie, Ziggy and Joe all sat in a row wolfing food down in varying states of undress. Ziggy in just his boxers, Freddie in just a towel, and joe his shirt unbuttoned and belt undone. Jason shuddered at the very idea.
"School project that needs to be finished" he mumbled trying not to overkill his eager attitude.
"Oh yeah what's that for? 101 ways to be teachers pet? Robbie sniggered as he came in behind Jason.
"Robert!" Sandy glared at him. "Make sure you take your lunch Jay, I've put some fruit in for you too..."
"Yeah whatever," Jason could hear the sniggering behind him. He jolted as he felt his mobile vibrate.
Holly: We Need 2 talk.
"I need to go." He grabbed his lunch and headed for the door.
"Ain't you gonna wait for me?" Robbie called from the kitchen.
"No ROBERT," Jason smirked as he shouted back, "I ain't", and he slammed the door behind him, almost running out of the gate and dumping his lunch in a nearby bin as quick as his legs would allow him.
***
"Darren."
"Eurghhhh."
"Darren. Darren. Darren. Darren." Dodger became louder the more his friend ignored him.
"What you want?"
"Think we might have drunk too much beer mate. It's midday."
"What! Nancy's gonna kill me." Darren slurred as he shook himself, trying all he could to shake off the smell of stale beer and cigarette ash.
Dodger laughed. "Add it to the list mate."
"What's that meant to mean?"
Dodger pulled Darren to his feet, staring him in the eye. "Let's think, you spent all night telling me you want Nancy back but seem to have forgotten that you slept with the nanny, got your wife sectioned, failed to notice that your girlfriend wasn't really pregnant and nearly let her kill your children and soulmate. But yeah you were definitely in the running for husband of the year before you had too many beers." He rolled his eyes.
Darren stood sheepishly staring at his feet.
"Come on buddy, it's not like my life's much better. Brother- mental institution. Sister- mental institution. Mum dead. Girlfriend dead. Ex girlfriend in prison for murder," he paused, "we're living the dream."
Darren grimaced. Tempted to make a joke but not really seeing the funny side. "Hey- move in with us."
"What?"
"Move in with me and Nancy. We're moving back to the flat. Dirk's always with Cindy. Lad's pad. Help me prove to Nancy we can be just friends."
"But you don't want to be just friends".
"I know that. But it will put her at ease. Make her think I do."
"I don't understand your mind Darren." Dodger feigned a puzzled look.
"But what do you say?" Darren pushed waiting for a commitment.
"I say..." Dodger broke into a grin, "Better crack open a beer roomie."
***
"So what were you up to this morning?" Robbie hissed at Jason behind his copy of the Duchess of Malfi.
"I told ya, school project." The reply was instantaneous.
"Look Jay," Robbie lowered his voice. "It's almost embarrassing if my own twin leaves school without hitting double figures."
Jason slammed his pencil down. "Honestly? I'm surprised you even got off the starting line Robbie." He blinked as the whole class erupted with laughter. Luckily before he could retaliate the bell rang to signal the lunch break, and people began pouring from the class.
"Hey, who's left a scarf?" Jason could hear Mr Mcqueen shouting behind them. He looked round.
"Phoebe and Finn were sitting there sir. Might be one of theirs." He raced out of the door without waiting for a reply, banging straight into Holly as he did so.
"Been avoiding me?" Jason felt his cheeks flush pink.
"No. Of course not babe. Let's go for a walk." He took her hand leading her away from the school building.
"Don't you want any lunch?" Holly looked puzzled.
"I'd rather spend time with you." Jason tried to look mischievous as he continued walking.
For a while there was silence, punctuated only by cars driving past and other people murmuring amongst themselves.
"So, what happened?". Holly emphasised every word.
As he considered his options Jason toyed with his wrist - sharp bursts of pain, searing up his arm. "It's just..."
"Go on," Holly kept pushing.
"Well last time. I didn't exactly make the earth move for you did I." Jason tried to hide his discomfort.
"Is that really what this is about?" Holly let out a shrill laugh. "I told you. Sure you might not be as obviously hot as say, Ziggy" she poked her tongue out failing to notice Jason's fist clenching, "but I love you."
The same way you loved Callum two minutes ago Jason thought, but responding with only "yeah. I know. I love you too..."
***
Sienna bolted up as the nurse gently tried to wake her. "My baby. Is she ok? Please tell me my baby's alright." Her eyes danced around the room, settling at last on the sight of the baby sleeping peacefully.
"Sienna, we need to take you for five minutes. Just down the corridor to answer some questions." The nurse spoke softly.
"But what about the baby? I can't leave her. She needs me."
"She's fast asleep and Brenda will look after her." The nurse gently took her hand and led Sienna from the room. As she followed her down the corridor Sienna started to drag her feet. Conscious that she was getting further and further from her sole reason for living. Suddenly she gripped the nurses arm. "She will be ok. You won't let them take her?" Panic littered her voice.
"Sienna." The nurse spoke calmly but forcefully. "She will be fine. Please, take a seat." She smiled encouragingly as Sienna gingerly sat down, on the edge of her seat. As she pulled her sleeves up over her hands she chewed on them through both anxiety and comfort. "Now can you tell me what day of the week it is?"
"Friday." Sienna looked calm. "It's always Friday in here." She pointed to her head. "It's the same day I lost my baby girl. The first and only time I saw her." She wiped her eyes. "Dad. He said I mustn't cry. Made me go to the park, and all I wanted was her here in my arms," she stopped as a silent tear rolled down her cheek.
The nurse passed a tissue. "Sienna, tell me how your feeling."
"Angry. I shouldn't be here. WE shouldn't be here. I just want the voices to stop now, I want to know its ok. I want to be out of my skin. Out of my head." She started to sob uncontrollably her shoulders shaking as tears cascaded down her face and she struggled to breath.
"What on Earth is going on here? What are you doing to my daughter? Patrick Blake pushed open the door, storming inside as Sienna began to shout and scream.
"Dad. Help me Daddy. We want to come home now. Tell them I can. Tell them you will look after us..." Sienna was becoming hysterical.
"MR BLAKE I MUST INSIST THAT YOU LEAVE THE ROOM IMMEDIATELY." The nurse bellowed as she hit a red panic button and four nurses began to run down the corridor an injection in their hand.
Patrick gasped as Sienna hit one of the nurses, his breaths only slowing down as he realised that they had sedated her and she was beginning to calm. He stalked into the hallway.
"You're supposed to be making her better," he hissed as the nurse joined him.
"Listen, Patrick. Sienna is damaged and she is facing significant psychological trauma." She held her hands up to stop him as he started to interrupt, "I fear telling her the truth at this stage will force Sienna into an irreparable state of psychosis." She stopped, waiting for a response from Patrick.
"Well then," he sneered. When exactly is a good time to tell my daughter that her behaviour is all a hallucination of her mind.
***
"Bart, why do you always look stoned when I speak to you on Skype."
"Because, John Paul, I am always stoned when you Skype me." Both boys laughed.
"I can't believe I missed you man" John Paul feigned tears. "I need someone to keep me safe from all the hormones in this house. Honestly they're on a different planet sometimes."
Bart laughed. "So, anything new big man."
A light tap on the door stopped John Paul before he could reply.
"Hey." Ste poked his head round the door, raising his eyebrows as John Paul slammed his laptop shut. "Now that was a porn slam if ever I saw one." Ste laughed.
"What can I do for you?"
"Cold day. Lost my scarf. Thought you might have picked it up by accident yesterday." Ste shrugged.
"You came round...because you lost your scarf." John Paul looked perplexed.
"No. Well, I did lose my scarf, but I wanted to talk to you." Ste faltered.
"Go on."
"I'm not trying to replace Craig."
"Yeah well, I'm not trying to replace Doug" John Paul retorted.
"Good because you slept with Doug. And Brendan. And my Dad."
"Ste even YOU nearly slept with your dad."
"Shut up" Ste grimaced and imitated being sick. "Let me finish".
"I'm not trying to replace Craig, and you will never replace Brendan. But the thing is I like you. And well if me and you, can have another shot at being happy then, why not?"
John Paul sat silent for a second, then closed his eyes and leaned towards Ste, melting as he felt the younger boys tongue slide into his mouth. John Paul could feel himself becoming aroused, even more so as the pairs tongues battled for supremacy, and he felt Ste's hand desperately clutching at the clasp of his belt. Shaking he pulled away. "No."
It was Ste's turn to look puzzled: "no?"
"I don't want to rush things and ruin them. You can stay the night. In my bed. But we're not going to be together for a while."
Ste laughed continuing to grab at the now forbidden fruit. "Are you sure I can't persuade you?" He made to kiss John Paul again, to which John Paul responded, simply brushing his lips against his lovers. "Not tonight." He laughed before pushing Ste back down to the bed, and resting his head on the younger boys chest. He just hoped it wasn't too good to be true.
***
As she heard the key turn in the lock Maxine looked everywhere for somewhere to hide the copy of more magazine which she was reading. She had the telegraph laid out on the table ready as her cover up but hadn't thought about the practicalities of where to put the incriminating literature. Running out of time she kicked it under the sofa and straightened her dress just as an obviously angry Patrick stormed into the living room. "Hi sweetie how was your day?"
"Never have I been so publicly humiliated... And that's saying something being in a relationship with you."
Maxine looked to the ground. "What happened?"
"I went to see Sienna, and got asked to leave the room, her own father, can you imagine the humiliation." He stopped as he saw the dinner table laden with food for him to consume. "Oh,I see, so you thought dinner would bring Sienna home. How very noble of you." His voice cold, emotionless.
"No I just. Thought you deserved to eat well, you work so hard."
"Oh do shut up." Maxine silenced as he walked over to her and placed her chin delicately in his hands. Her eyes darting to the door, and back again looking for the nearest escape.
"Maxine." Patrick's voice was cold, and emotionless. "How many times have I told you not to use the red patterned plates. Maxine said nothing. "You silly. Little girl." He opened his hand sending his palm smashing across her face. "Never. disobey me again." Finally he walked to the table using all his strength to flip it, sending china and food crashing everywhere. "Oh and Maxine,I think you need to clean up." Satisfied he walked to the bedroom and slammed the door. Maxine meanwhile stood quietly still, staring at the floor silent tears cascading her stinging red cheeks...
Once again Sienna and the dv sl progressing brilliantly. You could be a writer, you've captured the emotion well and I can picture it all in my head.
Love the jason storyline especially, love to see where this is going. Also the other storylines like siennas and mazines are good. Poor sienna thinking her baby is still alive.
Hope you continue.
I love writing for Jason, I find it very easy to get into his mentality and this along with Sienna and Maxine will continue to snowball down a dark path.
Im also enjoying writing some humour for Darren and Dodger and Ste and John Paul will slowly develop.
I really appreciate your feedback though it makes continuing worth while so if anyone else has any comments positive or constructive I'd love to hear them.
Thanks for taking the time to read Becsie.
You're welcome.
"A dinner party, mum, really?" Jason looked horrified.
"Yes Jay. A dinner party. A table. Civilised conversation. Not the norm in this household I know- but Darren insisted."
Jason raised his eyebrows. "Darren?"
"Do I need to repeat everything you say? Yes Darren. Dodger has moved in with him, and Darren is using it as a new start to get to know his family- his brothers too."
"So who's going?"
"Me, you, Freddie, Lindsay, Joe, Robbie, Ziggy, Holly, Finn and Ste- who I think Darren is trying to con into cooking for such a big group of people," Sandy sniggered, "Anyway how was school?"
Jason shrugged. "Same old... I need to do an assignment for tomorrow. So can you make sure I'm not disturbed?" He headed towards the kitchen door.
"Sure, I'll call you when dinners ready."
"NO," Jason caught himself, "Me and Holly ate on the way home."
"Ok, see you in a bit then," Sandy smiled, her sentence trailing off as Jason was already halfway up the stairs, "boys" she muttered under her breath.
In his room, Jason carefully slid the desk chair under the door handle- satisfied nobody would be barging in, he let his blazer drop to the floor and began to unbutton his shirt. His body was nothing special. If anything he was weedy, even when he tried to flex his muscles. Pulling his trousers off he stared at his reflection in the mirror, his inner legs covered in dry blood and cuts and the back of his knees hiding burns and bruises. He didn't need to explain these. Nobody could see them, no questions to be answered. Except possibly to Holly. The one person who claimed to love him. Rubbing cream into the fresh wounds he gasped, pain devouring his body. Trying to think of anything but the pain he cast his mind back with a steely resolve to two months before. Him and Holly had snuck home from school for some alone time, and stumbled across Freddie, in the kitchen straight out of the shower. Jason felt his fist clench as he recalled how she had giggled nervously unsure what to do. How he had watched her, staring at his brother, her eyes sliding down his body, pausing at his tattoos, his pecs and his horrifically tight Calvin Kleins which left nothing to the imagination. Looking in the mirror Jason knew he couldn't compare. Knew that while she was with him Holly would always be settling for second best. Without hesitation he picked the mirror up and flung it across the room satisfied at seeing it shatter into hundreds of little pieces, before walking to the broken mirror across the room, and calmly picking up a shard of glass which he then tucked into waistband of his boxer shorts...
***
Ste blinked, his eyes growing accustomed to the limited light. Bleary eyed his head felt heavy. He noted that he was shirtless. How long had they been asleep? Looking over at John Paul's sleeping body he smiled. The man asleep next to him was as close to perfection as he could ever get, and Ste was happy- but he wasn't Brendan. Ste felt sick at the name, for months he had been blotting out the memories, trying to forget the past but he knew that in truth John Paul could never compare. Still, it didn't mean that they couldn't be happy. Ste cared a great deal for him, fancied him even, and John Paul knew it, teased him with words about how he was going to drive him wild, but never quite following through. As annoying as it was Ste loved every minute of their games, though quite how he had ended up shirtless whilst John Paul still looked ready to teach was beyond him.
"Ste, what time is it?" He heard the sleepy mutter as John Paul stirred beside him.
"Half six." He replied checking his phone.
"What?" John Paul leapt out of his bed, "but that means everyone's home!"
"What's up with you." Ste looked puzzled. "I thought you didn't want anymore secret relationships." He leant forward to kiss him.
"I don't. But I've told you. Your dad needs to know first. If you walk down those stairs now, you might as well write it in the folly with flashing neon signs: I'm in a relationship with your gay lover. I'm sure nobody would notice."
Ste held his hands up cutting John Paul off. "We're in a relationship now?"
John Paul looked at the floor sheepishly, his cheeks flushing pink, he remained silent.
"You better come with me then, to tell Dad I mean." He smiled before his voice turned to a mutter. "I can't lose him, not again."
Crossing the room, John Paul took his hand. An unspoken understanding passing between the pair. Placing his hands on Ste's face, he cupped the younger boys chin as he stared into his eyes- "when?"
"Tomorrow." Ste calmed himself. "Finn left some work at ours the other night. Told Sinead I'd take it round for him...Does this mean I'm climbing down the drainpipe?"
"For tonight." John Paul chuckled, as he kissed Ste's head- "but if all goes well tomorrow, I've got a few promises to follow up on."
***
"Joe's stuck in town getting some parts for this motor, so asked me to keep you company tonight." Freddie smiled at Lindsey from the doorway of her bedroom, "so we have Chinese, and Bridget Jones. Your two favourites."
Lindsey squealed, "Fred you spoil me."
"Only what you deserve. I'll serve. See you downstairs in five." He grimaced as he turned away. This was impossible. For years, ten to be exact, he'd been in love with this woman and still she was oblivious. Joe wasn't a bad boyfriend, Freddie couldn't lie and say that he was- but he just didn't get Lindsey in the same way that Freddie knew that he did. He knew her inside out, even down to the way that her right eye would roll ever so slightly to the left if she was telling a lie. He knew- he'd stared into them thousands of times. Still though it was Joe that Lindsey chose to go to bed with every night. Joe that Lindsey let cuddle her to sleep, and Joe that Lindsey let make love to her, often loudly enough for the entire roscoe clan to hear.
Freddie snarled as he heaped Chinese food onto two plates.
"Hey what's up with you Mr sulky?" he tried to relax as Lindsey walked in behind him.
"Wow. You look great." He hesitated, realising a further compliment would raise curiosity.
Lindsey laughed. "Yeah. No make up, pyjamas and unkempt hair. I'm every mans sexual fantasy right now."
Freddie resisted the overwhelming urge to tell her how true that was, choosing instead to pass her a plate of food, a glass of wine and motioning her to follow him to the front room. As the pair ate in silence Freddie tried to avoid staring at her, knowing as ever that too many looks in the wrong direction would tell a thousand stories.
"You seem sad Fred."
He stifled as Lindsey's statement punctuated the air. "Why should I be sad?"
"Not many blokes drink five beers in half an hour when all is fine in the world. Plus let's be honest. How often do we eat in silence? I know you Freddie, talk to me."
"I..." Freddie longed to finish his sentence. I want you to know me more. I love you, always have always will. I can't stand another minute of being your brother...but instead chose his words carefully, "I've just remembered. Got a car to finish. Due first thing in the morning. Watch your film, I'll be back soon." He struggled with every word.
Lindsey looked bemused, and opened her mouth to reply, but before she could the door was slamming behind Freddie as he ran into the night, silent tears refusing to leave his eyes until he was in the garage feeling more alone than ever before...
***
Finn jumped as he heard a knock on the door, shocked to see Ste standing in his bedroom doorway.
"Sinead let me in as she was going out. You left your homework..." Ste trailed off. "Is this a bad time?" he asked, noticing Finn was standing in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts.
"No." Finn replied hurriedly pulling a towel around him. "Was just gonna jump in the shower."
"I'll leave you to it then." Ste made to leave.
"It's fine." Finn smiled. "I'm sure it can wait five minutes."
"Ok." Ste shifted uncomfortably, unsure what to say. "What are you reading?" Seeing a book on the bed he walked over and sat down, picking it up in a bid to start a conversation.
Finn gulped. Ste being in his room was strange, he was never used to seeing him in such close proximity- alone especially, and while he had his body out. It was far from ideal. At the same time however, it was thrilling having him in his room. On his bed. Just the two of them. No Sinead. No John Paul. Inhaling, Finn noted that Ste was wearing a musky aftershave, he recognised it from the smell of the scarf he had taken from Sinead's flat the other day. Walking around the bed he sat down next to Ste- the heat from the other mans body warming him. He could feel the familiar reaction his body had to Ste starting to take effect- the main reason he had covered himself in a towel. He knew that he was attracted to Ste, but didn't really know what it meant, after all he had been with girls before, kissed them, even getting Amber pregnant, but this...he knew that this felt different .
Ste looked up. "Yeah, go on then."
"If you like someone...and I mean really like them... Do you tell them?"
"Always."
"Even if they're the wrong person to like. If you know that there's no chance you will be together?"
"There's always a chance Finn." Ste smiled. "So who is she?"
"You don't know her."
"Keeping it a secret are we?" He punched Finn playfully on the arm.
Finn gasped at the unexpected contact, desperate for Ste to touch him again. Almost ready to tell Ste how for months he had been hanging around Sinead's, grabbing any chance that he could to spend time in his company. How he had taken every opportunity to watch Ste getting changed, or the dreams he frequently had where John Paul wasn't in the picture.
"Hey, I didn't hit you that hard! Anyway, I need to go." Ste crossed to the door, turning back before he walked through it, "but Finn, make sure you tell her," he closed the door behind him.
"Yeah maybe I will." Finn muttered to himself, running his hand over the spot where Ste had just been sitting. "Maybe I will..."
***
"I've lived here three hours and you've organised the biggest dinner party Chester has ever seen." Dodger rolled his eyes.
"New starts my friend. New starts." Darren chucked a beer beside Dodger. "Apart from Beer. We haven't stopped drinking in 24 hours. Cheers" he raised his can.
"So who's coming?"
"The Roscoes and some tag alongs. I need to make the effort."
Dodger straightened up in his chair, grabbing his phone. "All the Roscoes?"
"All of them. Why?"
"No reason mate. Just curious." Dodger flipped to his messages.
Recipient Sandy: Darren doesn't know.
He chuckled to himself. This could be fun. A chance to infuriate the Roscoe boys, wind them up and tease them. He hadn't forgotten them kidnapping him to make him stay away from their mum. Though they didn't know that Dodger and Sandy were still meeting once a week. Not that Darren would approve either, but it was too good an opportunity to resist winding them up.
"So, any house rules?" Dodger quickly changed the topic of conversation.
"No." Darren looked puzzled. "Though you do know just because your not on a boat anymore- this is still a flat and not a house." He winked.
"Your such a comedian Daz, anyone ever tell you that? What I meant was, well I don't want to get in the way of you and Nancy. I'm sure you've got lots of making up to do." He paused.
"If you listened to my earlier conversation, You'd know that is so far from happening its untrue. It's not going to be kiss and make up. I really messed up!"
Not knowing what to say Dodger continued: "and if I wanna bring a bird home?"
"Then it's your room. Treat it as your own... Just one rule." The pair looked at each other.
"No Mcqueens!" They chanted in unison, highfiving each other as if repeating a childhood ritual.
The flat went silent as a key turned in the lock, and Nancy came in.
"Dodger. You're here. Already." She crossed the room and kissed his cheek. "How's Sienna?"
Everyone knew that she didn't care. Her speech possibly permanently damaged, the trio were under no illusion that Nancy only asked to prove that she wasn't scared. To prove that she wasn't a victim.
"Ok, I think. Not seen much of her. Look Nancy this isn't going to be a problem?" He bristled.
"No. It's fine. You can't be. Responsible. For her. You're my friend." Nancy protested. "Excuse me. I need to. Shower." She left the room as quickly as she had came in.
Darren watched Dodger. "She'll be fine, it's not like you'll be bringing Sienna here. Anyway there's more, what aren't you saying?" He noted Dodger's uncomfortableness at talking about his twin.
"She starts Psychotherapy this week." Dodger went quiet. "I'm scared Darren. Exactly how many more Blake family secrets are there left to uncover?"
***
Jason's body was aching. He knew it was his own fault, but he couldn't seem to stop. The over consuming desire to take control of his life. To be noticed for once, and to feel like he was a person rather than a pet for his brothers and his mum to fuss over. He pulled the duvet tighter around him. Today had been successful. He had managed to eat just enough to stop his blood sugars from dropping dangerously low but not enough to make him any fatter. He knew he wasn't as well as he should be. He could feel his body shaking. Fighting to keep going, and knew that he should eat more. But he had mastered the art. The minimum that he could eat in order to keep his body functioning. It wasn't easy, but if he could just take his mind off it, he knew he would get through the night.
"Hey Rob." He called up to his brother in the bed above him. "What you doing."
"On my laptop. Checking out some Facebook profiles. Window shopping if you get me." The reply came quickly.
"Your a pervert." Jason laughed, cringing at his brothers habits."Rob, you ever wish you could be someone else?"
He heard his Brothers laptop slam shut, and Robbie's head suddenly appeared over the top bunk. "What do ya mean?"
"I dunno. Just like. Maybe you could be more like Joe, the man of the house. Or Freddie, the protector." Jason shrugged. "I don't really have a role." He blinked, trying not to let Robbie see the glisten of a tear in his eye.
Robbie disappeared. "Nah, why would I wanna be anyone else. I mean only one of us can be the cheekiest, the best looking and the best Roscoe in bed. Besides Jay, you do have a place. Your the sensitive one." He chuckled.
"Very funny." Jason carefully shifted his position, causing the scissors in his bed to penetrate his arm. He gasped, not expecting the pain, but not really feeling it either.
"Jason. If your not getting enough from Holly you need to find yourself a bit on the side. I don't want none of that so I can hear." Robbie tried to sound stern.
Before Jason had time to reply a loud bang shook the Roscoe residence.
"What was that? He hissed at Robbie.
"I dunno. Though I'm sure Joe and Freddie got it covered." Robbie sounded sleepy now.
Jason put his head back on the pillow, closing his eyes, trying to ignore the pain and instead focus on the image of Holly in his mind.
Suddenly however the bedroom door flew open, bright light invading the room causing Jason and Robbie to sit up wide eyed.
"Boys get up now." Sandy was almost in tears. "It's Freddie. There's been a terrible accident..."
I know I've said it a lot but the Jason's sl amazing, it's got me hooked. It reminds me of Hannah's anorexia sl, both were brilliantly written and potrayed. HO writers need to take note and do this sl for Jason
Finn sl very interesting, again I've liked how your expressing his feelings etc.
Dodger and Darren are always great
Frindsey, amazing. Love how you talk about his feelings (not looking at her directly) I reallg wish HO had just focused on this for Freddie instead of the gangster crap.
Excellent ep 3
You write the characters well. Loved jason and robbies conversation and the continuation of the storyline.
Dodger is funny wih his teasing.. Wonder what darren would say to the fact his friend has slept with his mum.
Good ep
Considering Finn is attracted to guys in your fanfic, the rape sl wouldn't have went with this so I'm happy you haven't included it.
I like the fact joe is alive(I don't believe he is dead). It is your fic so write it how you like (that's the point of fanfics) and so far you have the balance of your own storylines and keeping them like the characters we see onscreen well.
Cool look forward to it.