As a fifty something year old straight guy who has many gay and bi friends due to the industry I worked in can I just make a few observations.
Like many on here and other forum and press pages I've read this whole thing is now starting to not sit easy with me and ll tell you for why.
Firstly the video..as I understand it Dustin has still not openly been named by Tom or anyone else ..only the Sun.
Now reading all the reports Dustin is openly gay and an activist so unlike maybe a lad who was Toms age and not out to anyone would surely have NO PROBLEM being on the video to support him?
Why didnt he???
I also think despite some posters claims that rather than look comfortable Tom looked like someone who had a gun to his head and was a piece of road kill caught in spotlights .
Even if his boyfriend was his own age he would also surely know that as the papers would soon out him they could have braved it together .
Secondly as a prominent A list celeb and certainly not a stupid one he seems to ask we believe he knew nothing about this guy at all?
One of my friends is a relative of a top A list film star from the Uk and has a team with him at all times surely as Tom has .
wouldn't one of them had a word and said something or am I being stupid ??
And the oddest thing of all the text message ..had this Dustin been straight surely it would have been at the very least a smack in the mouth and at the worst media suicide on Toms part fearing that this guy would tell the story to the press??
Especially as there are some alledgedly unsavoury details coming out about him now
Leading me and others to think Toms not as innocent as he is trying to make out
Remembering as I say we still dont know the man is Dustin.
As I say merely my own observations .
I wish Tom nothing but the best but fear this will not go away and now has started to damage his brand and I fear his sports performance
Don't know if you saw my previous post but they have been pictured together.
Black sounds like a man with a lot of experience on the gay scene and there are plenty of lurid stories in circulation about him. Tom seems a bit naive and perhaps blinded by DLB's fame, DLB might exploit this naivety so I think this particular relationship might just be a flash in the pan.
Why couldn't Tom still fancy girls as well? Gay isn't the only sexuality there is and Tom never labelled himself
Tom has been pictured with a lot of guys as he is a swimmer who is famous, a photo of two guys being together doesn't make them a couple
I watched the video and he looked fine
Why couldn't Tom still fancy girls as well? Gay isn't the only sexuality there is and Tom never labelled himself
Tom has been pictured with a lot of guys as he is a swimmer who is famous, a photo of two guys being together doesn't make them a couple
I watched the video and he looked fine
As soom as DLB was mentioned you knew Tom was gay DLB is a massive gay rights campaigner. He won an oscar for Milk.
Why couldn't Tom still fancy girls as well? Gay isn't the only sexuality there is and Tom never labelled himself
Tom has been pictured with a lot of guys as he is a swimmer who is famous, a photo of two guys being together doesn't make them a couple
I watched the video and he looked fine
You've hit the nail on the head over the photo
Many years ago a friend of mine came out to me at work
He was 16 at the time and told me before his family
He it turned out had quite a crush on me and assumed as I was over 40 and wasn't in a relationship with a female I was gay
We want out many times to work events and privately and were often photoed together
But other than genuine friendship there was nothing physical
The sting in the tail was he met a guy my age and sadly he was and is a total control freak
Seeing the photos of us together hacked into my friends email and Facebook and made him change his job
They are still together and Theres not one day I don't worry for him!
I believe he reads DS and hope he sees this
It would be the best Christmas present ever to know he's OK
Sorry went off topic but a classic example of what can go wrong
On the plus side I know several couples with bigger age difference s still together
I don't see a problem here, esp. given that they've gone under the radar for the best part of a YEAR successfully, which has lasted longer than some marriages already!
My own feelings are that Tom is coming out slowly, using the old 'I still fancy girls' thing as a means of keeping a foot in the door. It's entirely possible he's being honest. Good for him. But it would also help him inch along slowly without seeming TOO confident at this stage, which detracts from things he's said in the past. He's got to find his way out at the same time in a very PR world in front of cameras. And Dustin Lance Black couldn't be 'with him' on his video because he was in Russia, filming.
The involvement with Black sounds as if Tom made the first move (if indeed it is Black, and nobody has rushed in to deny it now the US evangelist knobz have started banging on about 'predatory gays'). Yes there is an age difference but Tom is not. a. child. Black seems very boyish but a lot of younger men are attracted to older people. It might not last or it might last for years.
It's not for us to decide for Tom, it's entirely his choice, his life and I don't think we need to be sat here 'worrying' on his behalf about his partner, whom he said he asked out. Are we saying if Tom ended up with a nice young girl it would end happily? Because we just don't know. Nobody writes futures.
Clearly he'd be aware of Black's past (which was basically a betrayal of a private moment that Black certainly didn't want publicising). He's not the first or last celeb to have such things done to them. Again, how can Daley fix that or pretend it didn't happen? He can't, you have to go forward. It doesn't mean Black's not a decent person because of it, or not worth knowing. We're all learning in life, you never stop. Why should it taint him forever?
People forget he's done great work since then, worked tirelessly for rights causes and has put his life in danger filming in Russia having just received death threats. Tom, if indeed they are a couple, will be well aware of all this. They've actually managed to be very discreet for MONTHS (if they are dating), and no harm has come to them or anyone else, because of it.
Whether Dustin Black is 'just a bit of experience' for Tom or the real deal, it's really Tom and Dustin's business. It'll either work or it won't, it's for them to find out, not us.
Firstly the video..as I understand it Dustin has still not openly been named by Tom or anyone else ..only the Sun.
Ignore the Sun. It got it's story from fans on Twitter who'd found out days before from the pink press.
Now reading all the reports Dustin is openly gay and an activist so unlike maybe a lad who was Toms age and not out to anyone would surely have NO PROBLEM being on the video to support him? Why didnt he???
He was filming in Russia and dodging bombs.
I also think despite some posters claims that rather than look comfortable Tom looked like someone who had a gun to his head and was a piece of road kill caught in spotlights .
Entirely in the eyes of the beholder. If you want to see fear and pressure you will do. I just saw someone making a decision to say his thing on camera and it can't have been easy to be that personal in front of millions, knowing millions will be judging/watching you Turn a camera on yourself an do the same some time and try and keep a poker face.
Secondly as a prominent A list celeb and certainly not a stupid one he seems to ask we believe he knew nothing about this guy at all?
See my thing above. I think Tom probably/certainly knew, but he has to handle the semantics of this in his own way.
One of my friends is a relative of a top A list film star from the Uk and has a team with him at all times surely as Tom has .
wouldn't one of them had a word and said something or am I being stupid ??
PR teams and advisors are around celebs all the time publicly but Tom was at home or in a private situation. You don't need your PR gimboid sat at the kitchen table with you on your days off (unless you are a glutton for punishment). You do get breaks. If Tom had decided it was what he WANTED to do, then who are his PR people to dissuade him?
And the oddest thing of all the text message ..had this Dustin been straight surely it would have been at the very least a smack in the mouth and at the worst media suicide on Toms part fearing that this guy would tell the story to the press??
Again, Tom will handle it in his way. He may have built a backstory into this that sounds plausible, whilst knowing who Black was anyway. But he has to tread this path his way. Do we really NEED to know every detail? Can we not let some things just...fly, bearing in mind a lot of personal detail will never be made public by ANY couple???? Would you tell the utter truth all the time?
Especially as there are some alledgedly unsavoury details coming out about him now
Again, see above. Balance 'unsavoury' with good work and basic human being. Would you like to be judged forever on a silly mistake or a leaked tape someone beytrayed you with to the press?
Leading me and others to think Toms not as innocent as he is trying to make out
Is Tom supposed to legislate his life to suit you, me, or anyone else? Are you spotless? Are we? What's Tom ACTUALLY done wrong? What's Dustin...so far? Apart from the press mongering up stories, all we know is we simply have 2 human beings in an apparent relationship with an age difference. Who, if they are, once more, would have managed to keep it all private for nearly a year, with no problems.
Remembering as I say we still dont know the man is Dustin.
As I say merely my own observations .
We don't. But it seems likely since they were seen house-viewing recently, and have been spotted on and off all over the place together. It's a fair bet.
I wish Tom nothing but the best but fear this will not go away and now has started to damage his brand and I fear his sports performance
Oh gee, you really sound like you 'wish him the best'... by then telling him his brand is being damaged. Where?
What's his sports performance got to do with it? Did you miss the part Tom said if it weren't for this new chap he'd have jacked diving in? That the bf gave him the strength to carry on?
I'm always surprised by just how negative people can be based on so very little and mostly tabloid tattle telling them what to think.
Said to you in the nicest possible way, let them just get on with their lives and worry about your own life.
Black sounds like a man with a lot of experience on the gay scene and there are plenty of lurid stories in circulation about him. Tom seems a bit naive and perhaps blinded by DLB's fame, DLB might exploit this naivety so I think this particular relationship might just be a flash in the pan.
I have to say, I agree - and for reasons that are very close to the nerve for me.
I can identify with Black to the extent that I have only ever found young lads sexually attractive. It was the case when I was 18, and still is. I lived with a 20 year old when I was 18 and thought he was too old for me really! I met my civil partner when I was 24 and he 19, but as he became older the physical side fizzled out and we split for 5 years, but remained very close. Ended up back living together as a platonic relationship (and actually love each other now more than we ever did) and I had to fess up to the fact that I just do not fancy more mature guys. It's not something one can do anything about.
I wish my taste had matured with me, as dating young lads when you're approaching middle age is not a fulfilling experience, not least because trying to be hip enough to satisfy teenagers, and pretending to be interested in the same stuff, is hard work. Black is a typical shiny Los Angeles type - a world away from Tom's pretty prosaic upbringing. I'm sure Tom is a little blinded with his exotic status, and Black will be as caring and supportive as can be so long as he's getting inside his pants. I know. I've done it many a time (not with Black's wealth and fame of course, but enough means to impress).
A twenty year gap is a heck of a mental gap to bridge - though the fact that gay men in LA all act like teenagers may help. Ultimately, if Black is addicted to teenagers (which will always be the case with a 40 year old dating a 19 year old)then as Tom ages, he will be looking to upgrade (or downgrade, depending on how you look at it). So long as Black can pull 19 year olds, he won't be interested in someone 25.
I do happen to think Daley is vulnerable through the loss of his father and Black appears somewhat shark-like to me. Going out with a much older man is often a phase when youngsters first grapple with being gay (though never with me!). I hope it's all wonderful and long lasting, but it's not usually the LA way in any permutation.
Now of course I'm as jealous as hell but my money would be that this ends in tears.
Black sounds like a man with a lot of experience on the gay scene and there are plenty of lurid stories in circulation about him. Tom seems a bit naive and perhaps blinded by DLB's fame, DLB might exploit this naivety so I think this particular relationship might just be a flash in the pan.
DLB is not all that famous. I doubt that Tom would have even heard of him before they met.
DLB is not all that famous. I doubt that Tom would have even heard of him before they met.
Doesn't have to be like that.
Black with be uber-confident, surrounded by sycophants. Given the chance of bedding a teenage heart-throb, fit-as-f***, apparently straight British Olympian, he will have switched the charm-ometer to "hyper".
Ignore the Sun. It got it's story from fans on Twitter who'd found out days before from the pink press.
He was filming in Russia and dodging bombs.
Entirely in the eyes of the beholder. If you want to see fear and pressure you will do. I just saw someone making a decision to say his thing on camera and it can't have been easy to be that personal in front of millions, knowing millions will be judging/watching you Turn a camera on yourself an do the same some time and try and keep a poker face.
See my thing above. I think Tom probably/certainly knew, but he has to handle the semantics of this in his own way.
PR teams and advisors are around celebs all the time publicly but Tom was at home or in a private situation. You don't need your PR gimboid sat at the kitchen table with you on your days off (unless you are a glutton for punishment). You do get breaks. If Tom had decided it was what he WANTED to do, then who are his PR people to dissuade him?
Again, Tom will handle it in his way. He may have built a backstory into this that sounds plausible, whilst knowing who Black was anyway. But he has to tread this path his way. Do we really NEED to know every detail? Can we not let some things just...fly, bearing in mind a lot of personal detail will never be made public by ANY couple???? Would you tell the utter truth all the time?
Again, see above. Balance 'unsavoury' with good work and basic human being. Would you like to be judged forever on a silly mistake or a leaked tape someone beytrayed you with to the press?
Is Tom supposed to legislate his life to suit you, me, or anyone else? Are you spotless? Are we? What's Tom ACTUALLY done wrong? What's Dustin...so far? Apart from the press mongering up stories, all we know is we simply have 2 human beings in an apparent relationship with an age difference. Who, if they are, once more, would have managed to keep it all private for nearly a year, with no problems.
We don't. But it seems likely since they were seen house-viewing recently, and have been spotted on and off all over the place together. It's a fair bet.
Oh gee, you really sound like you 'wish him the best'... by then telling him his brand is being damaged. Where?
What's his sports performance got to do with it? Did you miss the part Tom said if it weren't for this new chap he'd have jacked diving in? That the bf gave him the strength to carry on?
I'm always surprised by just how negative people can be based on so very little and mostly tabloid tattle telling them what to think.
Said to you in the nicest possible way, let them just get on with their lives and worry about your own life.
Thanks for you well written reply .
It may suprise you to know I do actually agree with a lot of what you say.
Firstly the Sun .I was a newsagent for some twenty odd years and was working as a relief manager in Liverpool when the Hillsboro tragedy happened and saw first hand the heartache and upset they caused with their reporting
From the day they printed the stuff in that paper I wouldn't trust a thing they wrote .
In fact I wouldn't even wipe my backside with it
To this day there are large parts of the city that wont buy the paper and I dont blame them
So far as the Pink Paper is concerned I did read elsewhere on this thread that they back-peddled on the identity of Tom's fella and wont name a name until he does ...as we know thats still not happened .
As to the video I watched it and compared to some of the usual stuff he posts it was totally different but I took it at face value
My comments re the headlights etc were made after I read the several articles by various people quoted on the thread .
and of course as you say he would be ill at ease with it all
As far as being there to support him I wasnt aware he was in Russia and from what Ive since read Good on the guy.
I still think though as this is we are told a serious long term thing surely another week of speculation would not have mattered and even if Tom was outed in the mean time as its such a big deal for him and his family I DO think he could have been there for him so must differ with you on that one .
As far as the snaps of them taken together are concerned I'm not sure if you read my other post about the lad I worked with ?
I often go out with friends and have gone viewing a house with both males and females who asked for my input.
It doesn't mean I'm going to move in with them though .
Lastly though the original comments were favourable you surely cannot deny now that a few questions are being asked .
Its media and public interest ..people feel they know Tom and want to wish him well.
As for his performance in the sport is concerned with all the speculation still rife it will suffer unless he is one of the very few people who can totally blank everything out .
Finally Ive never made out im perfect god is anyone ? And regardless of what you may think wish the guy all the luck in the world
I worry constantly about my life and that of the 84 year old father im full time carer for .
And in the spirit you sent my reply I return mine .
Very Best Wishes to you. Paul:)
As a fifty something year old straight guy who has many gay and bi friends due to the industry I worked in can I just make a few observations.
Like many on here and other forum and press pages I've read this whole thing is now starting to not sit easy with me and ll tell you for why.
Firstly the video..as I understand it Dustin has still not openly been named by Tom or anyone else ..only the Sun.
Now reading all the reports Dustin is openly gay and an activist so unlike maybe a lad who was Toms age and not out to anyone would surely have NO PROBLEM being on the video to support him?
Why didnt he???
I also think despite some posters claims that rather than look comfortable Tom looked like someone who had a gun to his head and was a piece of road kill caught in spotlights .
Even if his boyfriend was his own age he would also surely know that as the papers would soon out him they could have braved it together .
Secondly as a prominent A list celeb and certainly not a stupid one he seems to ask we believe he knew nothing about this guy at all?
One of my friends is a relative of a top A list film star from the Uk and has a team with him at all times surely as Tom has .
wouldn't one of them had a word and said something or am I being stupid ??
And the oddest thing of all the text message ..had this Dustin been straight surely it would have been at the very least a smack in the mouth and at the worst media suicide on Toms part fearing that this guy would tell the story to the press??
Especially as there are some alledgedly unsavoury details coming out about him now
Leading me and others to think Toms not as innocent as he is trying to make out
Remembering as I say we still dont know the man is Dustin.
As I say merely my own observations .
I wish Tom nothing but the best but fear this will not go away and now has started to damage his brand and I fear his sports performance
A few work colleagues were talking about this the other day. They were mostly supportive until they found out that it is, based on news reports, Dustin. The age gap then came into question and that appeared to be a problem in their view.
This prompted one of them to say they had never seen this guy and wanted to see a picture. They then replied "Well, he doesn't look 39!" The opinion then largely changed the other way again.
I know this is a comment regarding age gaps not Tom entirely but it's strange how some people's opinions are swayed if the person in question looks younger than they are.
My personal opinion is good luck to them. Time will tell if it works out or not.
DLB is not all that famous. I doubt that Tom would have even heard of him before they met.
He's living in Hollywood, which might be seen as glamorous. He has fame of a kind because of his dodgy sex tape, and even if he wasn't famous because of that, he has won an Oscar which would make him reasonably well known.
I know this is a comment regarding age gaps not Tom entirely but it's strange how some people's opinions are swayed if the person in question looks younger than they are.
That's very true. When I became properly single again at 35 I still looked pretty good and a lot younger. Used to dress pretty cool, and I had a succession of young boyfriends and we always looked OK as a couple. Never lasted as I need mental as well as sexual gratification and it's rare to click in the regard with someone so much younger. They were usually indie types, as it's what I'm into. I remember one lad who was 19 and a DJ. I played him Talking Heads at home and he said "they're amazing but it sounds sooo old!". Bit of a wake up.
At 40 age suddenly caught up with me in all respects and I decided to retire from chasing boys as I have some self respect. If I could afford the work that Tom's man has probably had it may have been different ;-)
Is this the interview in which Tom Daley says he was "misquoted"? Because, keeping in mind this was less than 3 months ago, he must of been misquoted an awful lot. Extracts of what he said are:
“I think it’s funny when people say I’m gay... I laugh it off.”
"I was seeing a synchronised swimmer before the Olympics but she lived in Bristol and I wasn’t driving so we couldn’t meet up."
"I have a soft spot for American diver Kassidy Cook but she lives in Texas – the long distance would be hard."
"I wish I had time to meet a girl. I thought after the Olympics I would have loads more time but that hasn’t been the case."
"I have never had a serious relationship. It has never worked with diving."
This was in September this year and, at that stage:
He's never had a serious relationship (although he's been with his boyfriend for quite a few months by this stage).
He wants a girlfriend (although when this interview was done he's with his boyfriend).
Long distance relationships are difficult and won't work (but his current boyfriend lives in the States).
He competed in the Olympics etc so he is a-list and there's no proof the secret guy is dustin
He's not A-list just because he competed in the Olympics.
If the 'secret guy' wasn't Dustin, I'm sure it would have been denied. After all they were photographed together recently so it's more likely than not.
He's not A-list just because he competed in the Olympics.
If the 'secret guy' wasn't Dustin, I'm sure it would have been denied. After all they were photographed together recently so it's more likely than not.
So who do you remember? And he is a-list more then a lot of people and a search on the net finds stories with him being referred to as an a-lister
he's treated as a role model
He's also been photographed with a fan and who knows how many other people he's met?
It's back to that stupid idea that a gay man must be dating the man that he is seen with in spite of there being nothing to back that up other then gossip in that terrible gutter-rag (the sun)
So who do you remember? And he is a-list more then a lot of people and a search on the net finds stories with him being referred to as an a-lister
he's treated as a role model
He's also been photographed with a fan and who knows how many other people he's met?
It's back to that stupid idea that a gay man must be dating the man that he is seen with in spite of there being nothing to back that up other then gossip in that terrible gutter-rag (the sun)
I'd agree with that Chester.
Fact is that 2 or 3 pictures does not equal a relationship.
If I was Tom and I wasn't dating Dustin, I wouldn't correct anyone because at least this way the media aren't doing any more digging.
I went out with much older guys when I was figuring out what was going on, lots of people do. Sometimes it lasts but like most relationships, it mostly doesn't.
That comment about bisexuality is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. When people say "gay rights" they mean those of us who don't think our sexual politics is healthy and don't think forcing people into compulsory heterosexuality is a good thing. People are free to be whatever...even *gasp* bisexual without having to listen to people's ill-informed opinions about who they go to bed with.
People calling Tom Daley "gay" "bi" or anything else need to maybe realise it's not up to them to make decisions for others. Leave the kid alone.
So who do you remember? And he is a-list more then a lot of people and a search on the net finds stories with him being referred to as an a-lister
he's treated as a role model
He's also been photographed with a fan and who knows how many other people he's met?
It's back to that stupid idea that a gay man must be dating the man that he is seen with in spite of there being nothing to back that up other then gossip in that terrible gutter-rag (the sun)
Oh come off it.
A-listers are known around the world. Tom Daley would be barely known outside the UK. Can you give a link to places where he's been referred to as an A-lister?
The Sun isn't the only place where DLB has been mentioned either.
Conspiracy theorists out in force I see. The boy says he's happy, let him be, if it turns out to be a mistake, so what? that's life, a part of growing up. Age difference would be too much for me, but everyone is different, Tom comes across as very mature. I wish him all the best and admire his honesty and bravery.
A-listers are known around the world. Tom Daley would be barely known outside the UK. Can you give a link to places where he's been referred to as an A-lister?
The Sun isn't the only place where DLB has been mentioned either.
Tom is known all over the world and it doesn't matter who mentions gossip as it's only gossip until there's more proof
a popular rumour is still just a rumour
Comments
Don't know if you saw my previous post but they have been pictured together.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz...rs-senior.html
Black sounds like a man with a lot of experience on the gay scene and there are plenty of lurid stories in circulation about him. Tom seems a bit naive and perhaps blinded by DLB's fame, DLB might exploit this naivety so I think this particular relationship might just be a flash in the pan.
Tom has been pictured with a lot of guys as he is a swimmer who is famous, a photo of two guys being together doesn't make them a couple
I watched the video and he looked fine
As soom as DLB was mentioned you knew Tom was gay DLB is a massive gay rights campaigner. He won an oscar for Milk.
I dobt think he would bother if Tom was bisexual
You've hit the nail on the head over the photo
Many years ago a friend of mine came out to me at work
He was 16 at the time and told me before his family
He it turned out had quite a crush on me and assumed as I was over 40 and wasn't in a relationship with a female I was gay
We want out many times to work events and privately and were often photoed together
But other than genuine friendship there was nothing physical
The sting in the tail was he met a guy my age and sadly he was and is a total control freak
Seeing the photos of us together hacked into my friends email and Facebook and made him change his job
They are still together and Theres not one day I don't worry for him!
I believe he reads DS and hope he sees this
It would be the best Christmas present ever to know he's OK
Sorry went off topic but a classic example of what can go wrong
On the plus side I know several couples with bigger age difference s still together
I doubt this is long term for him.
This theory doesn't make a lot of sense!
My own feelings are that Tom is coming out slowly, using the old 'I still fancy girls' thing as a means of keeping a foot in the door. It's entirely possible he's being honest. Good for him. But it would also help him inch along slowly without seeming TOO confident at this stage, which detracts from things he's said in the past. He's got to find his way out at the same time in a very PR world in front of cameras. And Dustin Lance Black couldn't be 'with him' on his video because he was in Russia, filming.
The involvement with Black sounds as if Tom made the first move (if indeed it is Black, and nobody has rushed in to deny it now the US evangelist knobz have started banging on about 'predatory gays'). Yes there is an age difference but Tom is not. a. child. Black seems very boyish but a lot of younger men are attracted to older people. It might not last or it might last for years.
It's not for us to decide for Tom, it's entirely his choice, his life and I don't think we need to be sat here 'worrying' on his behalf about his partner, whom he said he asked out. Are we saying if Tom ended up with a nice young girl it would end happily? Because we just don't know. Nobody writes futures.
Clearly he'd be aware of Black's past (which was basically a betrayal of a private moment that Black certainly didn't want publicising). He's not the first or last celeb to have such things done to them. Again, how can Daley fix that or pretend it didn't happen? He can't, you have to go forward. It doesn't mean Black's not a decent person because of it, or not worth knowing. We're all learning in life, you never stop. Why should it taint him forever?
People forget he's done great work since then, worked tirelessly for rights causes and has put his life in danger filming in Russia having just received death threats. Tom, if indeed they are a couple, will be well aware of all this. They've actually managed to be very discreet for MONTHS (if they are dating), and no harm has come to them or anyone else, because of it.
Whether Dustin Black is 'just a bit of experience' for Tom or the real deal, it's really Tom and Dustin's business. It'll either work or it won't, it's for them to find out, not us.
Ignore the Sun. It got it's story from fans on Twitter who'd found out days before from the pink press.
He was filming in Russia and dodging bombs.
Entirely in the eyes of the beholder. If you want to see fear and pressure you will do. I just saw someone making a decision to say his thing on camera and it can't have been easy to be that personal in front of millions, knowing millions will be judging/watching you Turn a camera on yourself an do the same some time and try and keep a poker face.
See my thing above. I think Tom probably/certainly knew, but he has to handle the semantics of this in his own way.
PR teams and advisors are around celebs all the time publicly but Tom was at home or in a private situation. You don't need your PR gimboid sat at the kitchen table with you on your days off (unless you are a glutton for punishment). You do get breaks. If Tom had decided it was what he WANTED to do, then who are his PR people to dissuade him?
Again, Tom will handle it in his way. He may have built a backstory into this that sounds plausible, whilst knowing who Black was anyway. But he has to tread this path his way. Do we really NEED to know every detail? Can we not let some things just...fly, bearing in mind a lot of personal detail will never be made public by ANY couple???? Would you tell the utter truth all the time?
Again, see above. Balance 'unsavoury' with good work and basic human being. Would you like to be judged forever on a silly mistake or a leaked tape someone beytrayed you with to the press?
Is Tom supposed to legislate his life to suit you, me, or anyone else? Are you spotless? Are we? What's Tom ACTUALLY done wrong? What's Dustin...so far? Apart from the press mongering up stories, all we know is we simply have 2 human beings in an apparent relationship with an age difference. Who, if they are, once more, would have managed to keep it all private for nearly a year, with no problems.
We don't. But it seems likely since they were seen house-viewing recently, and have been spotted on and off all over the place together. It's a fair bet.
Oh gee, you really sound like you 'wish him the best'... by then telling him his brand is being damaged. Where?
What's his sports performance got to do with it? Did you miss the part Tom said if it weren't for this new chap he'd have jacked diving in? That the bf gave him the strength to carry on?
I'm always surprised by just how negative people can be based on so very little and mostly tabloid tattle telling them what to think.
Said to you in the nicest possible way, let them just get on with their lives and worry about your own life.
I have to say, I agree - and for reasons that are very close to the nerve for me.
I can identify with Black to the extent that I have only ever found young lads sexually attractive. It was the case when I was 18, and still is. I lived with a 20 year old when I was 18 and thought he was too old for me really! I met my civil partner when I was 24 and he 19, but as he became older the physical side fizzled out and we split for 5 years, but remained very close. Ended up back living together as a platonic relationship (and actually love each other now more than we ever did) and I had to fess up to the fact that I just do not fancy more mature guys. It's not something one can do anything about.
I wish my taste had matured with me, as dating young lads when you're approaching middle age is not a fulfilling experience, not least because trying to be hip enough to satisfy teenagers, and pretending to be interested in the same stuff, is hard work. Black is a typical shiny Los Angeles type - a world away from Tom's pretty prosaic upbringing. I'm sure Tom is a little blinded with his exotic status, and Black will be as caring and supportive as can be so long as he's getting inside his pants. I know. I've done it many a time (not with Black's wealth and fame of course, but enough means to impress).
A twenty year gap is a heck of a mental gap to bridge - though the fact that gay men in LA all act like teenagers may help. Ultimately, if Black is addicted to teenagers (which will always be the case with a 40 year old dating a 19 year old)then as Tom ages, he will be looking to upgrade (or downgrade, depending on how you look at it). So long as Black can pull 19 year olds, he won't be interested in someone 25.
I do happen to think Daley is vulnerable through the loss of his father and Black appears somewhat shark-like to me. Going out with a much older man is often a phase when youngsters first grapple with being gay (though never with me!). I hope it's all wonderful and long lasting, but it's not usually the LA way in any permutation.
Now of course I'm as jealous as hell
DLB is not all that famous. I doubt that Tom would have even heard of him before they met.
Doesn't have to be like that.
Black with be uber-confident, surrounded by sycophants. Given the chance of bedding a teenage heart-throb, fit-as-f***, apparently straight British Olympian, he will have switched the charm-ometer to "hyper".
I've seen it, I've competed. I know <wink>.
Thanks for you well written reply .
It may suprise you to know I do actually agree with a lot of what you say.
Firstly the Sun .I was a newsagent for some twenty odd years and was working as a relief manager in Liverpool when the Hillsboro tragedy happened and saw first hand the heartache and upset they caused with their reporting
From the day they printed the stuff in that paper I wouldn't trust a thing they wrote .
In fact I wouldn't even wipe my backside with it
To this day there are large parts of the city that wont buy the paper and I dont blame them
So far as the Pink Paper is concerned I did read elsewhere on this thread that they back-peddled on the identity of Tom's fella and wont name a name until he does ...as we know thats still not happened .
As to the video I watched it and compared to some of the usual stuff he posts it was totally different but I took it at face value
My comments re the headlights etc were made after I read the several articles by various people quoted on the thread .
and of course as you say he would be ill at ease with it all
As far as being there to support him I wasnt aware he was in Russia and from what Ive since read Good on the guy.
I still think though as this is we are told a serious long term thing surely another week of speculation would not have mattered and even if Tom was outed in the mean time as its such a big deal for him and his family I DO think he could have been there for him so must differ with you on that one .
As far as the snaps of them taken together are concerned I'm not sure if you read my other post about the lad I worked with ?
I often go out with friends and have gone viewing a house with both males and females who asked for my input.
It doesn't mean I'm going to move in with them though .
Lastly though the original comments were favourable you surely cannot deny now that a few questions are being asked .
Its media and public interest ..people feel they know Tom and want to wish him well.
As for his performance in the sport is concerned with all the speculation still rife it will suffer unless he is one of the very few people who can totally blank everything out .
Finally Ive never made out im perfect god is anyone ? And regardless of what you may think wish the guy all the luck in the world
I worry constantly about my life and that of the 84 year old father im full time carer for .
And in the spirit you sent my reply I return mine .
Very Best Wishes to you. Paul:)
Tom is not A-list . far from it infact .
This prompted one of them to say they had never seen this guy and wanted to see a picture. They then replied "Well, he doesn't look 39!" The opinion then largely changed the other way again.
I know this is a comment regarding age gaps not Tom entirely but it's strange how some people's opinions are swayed if the person in question looks younger than they are.
My personal opinion is good luck to them. Time will tell if it works out or not.
He's living in Hollywood, which might be seen as glamorous. He has fame of a kind because of his dodgy sex tape, and even if he wasn't famous because of that, he has won an Oscar which would make him reasonably well known.
That's very true. When I became properly single again at 35 I still looked pretty good and a lot younger. Used to dress pretty cool, and I had a succession of young boyfriends and we always looked OK as a couple. Never lasted as I need mental as well as sexual gratification and it's rare to click in the regard with someone so much younger. They were usually indie types, as it's what I'm into. I remember one lad who was 19 and a DJ. I played him Talking Heads at home and he said "they're amazing but it sounds sooo old!". Bit of a wake up.
At 40 age suddenly caught up with me in all respects and I decided to retire from chasing boys as I have some self respect. If I could afford the work that Tom's man has probably had it may have been different ;-)
Is this the interview in which Tom Daley says he was "misquoted"? Because, keeping in mind this was less than 3 months ago, he must of been misquoted an awful lot. Extracts of what he said are:
“I think it’s funny when people say I’m gay... I laugh it off.”
"I was seeing a synchronised swimmer before the Olympics but she lived in Bristol and I wasn’t driving so we couldn’t meet up."
"I have a soft spot for American diver Kassidy Cook but she lives in Texas – the long distance would be hard."
"I wish I had time to meet a girl. I thought after the Olympics I would have loads more time but that hasn’t been the case."
"I have never had a serious relationship. It has never worked with diving."
This was in September this year and, at that stage:
He's never had a serious relationship (although he's been with his boyfriend for quite a few months by this stage).
He wants a girlfriend (although when this interview was done he's with his boyfriend).
Long distance relationships are difficult and won't work (but his current boyfriend lives in the States).
Confused much?
He competed in the Olympics etc so he is a-list and there's no proof the secret guy is dustin
He's not A-list just because he competed in the Olympics.
If the 'secret guy' wasn't Dustin, I'm sure it would have been denied. After all they were photographed together recently so it's more likely than not.
So who do you remember? And he is a-list more then a lot of people and a search on the net finds stories with him being referred to as an a-lister
he's treated as a role model
He's also been photographed with a fan and who knows how many other people he's met?
It's back to that stupid idea that a gay man must be dating the man that he is seen with in spite of there being nothing to back that up other then gossip in that terrible gutter-rag (the sun)
I'd agree with that Chester.
Fact is that 2 or 3 pictures does not equal a relationship.
If I was Tom and I wasn't dating Dustin, I wouldn't correct anyone because at least this way the media aren't doing any more digging.
That comment about bisexuality is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. When people say "gay rights" they mean those of us who don't think our sexual politics is healthy and don't think forcing people into compulsory heterosexuality is a good thing. People are free to be whatever...even *gasp* bisexual without having to listen to people's ill-informed opinions about who they go to bed with.
People calling Tom Daley "gay" "bi" or anything else need to maybe realise it's not up to them to make decisions for others. Leave the kid alone.
Oh come off it.
A-listers are known around the world. Tom Daley would be barely known outside the UK. Can you give a link to places where he's been referred to as an A-lister?
The Sun isn't the only place where DLB has been mentioned either.
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=tom+daley+dustin+&oq=tom+daley+dustin+&aqs=chrome..69i57j0j69i60l2.5623j0j7&sourceid=chrome&espv=210&es_sm=122&ie=UTF-8#es_sm=122&espv=210&q=tom+daley+dustin&tbm=nws
Tom is known all over the world and it doesn't matter who mentions gossip as it's only gossip until there's more proof
a popular rumour is still just a rumour