Equally, you can use the example to try and understand why some people would not care about whether their child was gay or not.
For sure.
As I've said, speaking for myself, I'd have to admit that I'm separating the hypothetical idea of what I'd "want" for some hypothetical child from the subjective idea of whether I'd actually "care" about the sexuality of any real, prospective child.
Hypothetically, I'd want my child to be healthy, straight, athletic, intelligent and attractive.
Realistically, I wouldn't care if they weren't any or all of those things.
I don't think it's possible to justify not caring on a realistic level because (I would hope) parental love is going to be unconditional.
On a hypothetical level, though, I'm just interested to hear why people can justify not having a preference.
Well to be fair I thought it was a bit snappy which is why I snapped back
But being gay doesn't create issues any bigger than other things. people will find something to target you for. Removing gay people won't stop people picking on you. They just find something else. Most children experience some discrimination
EDIT Sorry for the misunderstanding... Just don't be short and snappy next time:)
No No, I see that it seemed like i was making a snappy smart answer. That's not what I meant to do. Sorry.
I dont want to remove gay people BUT given the choice and with the issues that do exist I'd rather my child was straight just because I think its natural for a parent to want to avoid any pain or struggle for their kids.
If there were no issues, and people were not targeted then a fat ginger gay kid with glasses and a penchant for origami would suit me fine
No No, I see that it seemed like i was making a snappy smart answer. That's not what I meant to do. Sorry.
I dont want to remove gay people BUT given the choice and with the issues that do exist I'd rather my child was straight just because I think its natural for a parent to want to avoid any pain or struggle for their kids.
If there were no issues, and people were not targeted then a fat ginger gay kid with glasses and a penchant for origami would suit me fine
Thing is, in an ideal world we wouldn't have all this prejudice and we could be whoever we wanted. That's why I have no preference because at the end of the day we are all born with free will and our own minds. We do whatever the hell we want and life would be dull without challenges. Granted bullying is awful but i was picked on far more for my weight and looks as a kid than I was for being gay(from kids my age anyway). The only people who took issue with my sexuality were the middle aged men in the pub who thought it was ok to be rude. But then these are the men who would spend all day sat at the bar, drinking the same drink, sitting in the same spot, making the same sexist jokes, staying for the same amount of time etc. I overcome their attitude and ended up pitying them. I'm the one doing well, I'm the one earning more money than they are. I have more disposable income, I have a house I rent, a gorgeous partner, wonderful family... Being gay isn't always that bad. Not bad going for a former fat ugly kid... Life is character building
All my experiences in life have made me a stronger more confident person. I do think that if I hadn't gone through the things I did then I may not have become the person I am... And I am fabulous
Thing is, in an ideal world we wouldn't have all this prejudice and we could be whoever we wanted. That's why I have no preference because at the end of the day we are all born with free will and our own minds. We do whatever the hell we want and life would be dull without challenges. Granted bullying is awful but i was picked on far more for my weight and looks as a kid than I was for being gay(from kids my age anyway). The only people who took issue with my sexuality were the middle aged men in the pub who thought it was ok to be rude. But then these are the men who would spend all day sat at the bar, drinking the same drink, sitting in the same spot, making the same sexist jokes, staying for the same amount of time etc. I overcome their attitude and ended up pitying them. I'm the one doing well, I'm the one earning more money than they are. I have more disposable income, I have a house I rent, a gorgeous partner, wonderful family... Being gay isn't always that bad. Not bad going for a former fat ugly kid... Life is character building
All my experiences in life have made me a stronger more confident person. I do think that if I hadn't gone through the things I did then I may not have become the person I am... And I am fabulous
Well my life hasn't been that hard compared to many others. You make it sound like I've had an awful life. I haven't. A few struggles maybe but who doesn't?
Well my life hasn't been that hard compared to many others. You make it sound like I've had an awful life. I haven't. A few struggles maybe but who doesn't?
Well what do you mean?
EDIT or are you insinuating you wouldn't want them to be like me? That's fine. This world couldn't deal with more than one of me. I'm too fabulous. I'd love to stay and chat but I'm off into Soho to meet the bf and 20 other gays for a gathering. Oh the gays lead such a hard life
I'm probably going to regret this but can you post a link to a reason that isn't, basically, "cos I wouldn't care"?
It's just that saying "It wouldn't bother me because it wouldn't bother me" doesn't really go very far to explain how somebody came to that conclusion, regardless of how you dress it up.
If it weren't the case then there'd be no such thing as "gay rights" because there'd BE no issues that need addressing.
And if we accept that there ARE issues that need addressing, I'm interested to hear why anybody would want for a child to have to face those issues.
BIB as others have said, you could say that about so many other circumstances, be it weight, hair colour, skin colour, gender. Given the choice, you have clearly stated that having a gay child is a risk you would prefer not to take - I respect that.
However, please respect that for some of us, in fact the majority who have answered the poll, that is not the case.
Why isn't it an issue for me - because I know so many happy well adjusted gay people in my close family and circle of friends who even though they may have faced some difficulties in their lives (and most haven't) would not want to be anyone other than who they are.
I am getting fairly peed off at being called a liar just for honestly stating my views.
Is this topic still going? None of you are ever gonna agree on this if you don't already.
It's Friday night, chill.
Probably one of the most sensible posts in the thread. I did flounce out last night, but then I crept back in again this afternoon to see if anyone was talking about me. I'm now off to find the Christmas deccies.
Thing is, in an ideal world we wouldn't have all this prejudice and we could be whoever we wanted. That's why I have no preference because at the end of the day we are all born with free will and our own minds. We do whatever the hell we want and life would be dull without challenges. Granted bullying is awful but i was picked on far more for my weight and looks as a kid than I was for being gay(from kids my age anyway). The only people who took issue with my sexuality were the middle aged men in the pub who thought it was ok to be rude. But then these are the men who would spend all day sat at the bar, drinking the same drink, sitting in the same spot, making the same sexist jokes, staying for the same amount of time etc. I overcome their attitude and ended up pitying them. I'm the one doing well, I'm the one earning more money than they are. I have more disposable income, I have a house I rent, a gorgeous partner, wonderful family... Being gay isn't always that bad. Not bad going for a former fat ugly kid... Life is character building
All my experiences in life have made me a stronger more confident person. I do think that if I hadn't gone through the things I did then I may not have become the person I am... And I am fabulous
I agree with all that you say. BUT Id still choose to avoid the trauma for my own child.
However we cant choose our child's sexuality so I guess it academic.
Comments
For sure.
As I've said, speaking for myself, I'd have to admit that I'm separating the hypothetical idea of what I'd "want" for some hypothetical child from the subjective idea of whether I'd actually "care" about the sexuality of any real, prospective child.
Hypothetically, I'd want my child to be healthy, straight, athletic, intelligent and attractive.
Realistically, I wouldn't care if they weren't any or all of those things.
I don't think it's possible to justify not caring on a realistic level because (I would hope) parental love is going to be unconditional.
On a hypothetical level, though, I'm just interested to hear why people can justify not having a preference.
No No, I see that it seemed like i was making a snappy smart answer. That's not what I meant to do. Sorry.
I dont want to remove gay people BUT given the choice and with the issues that do exist I'd rather my child was straight just because I think its natural for a parent to want to avoid any pain or struggle for their kids.
If there were no issues, and people were not targeted then a fat ginger gay kid with glasses and a penchant for origami would suit me fine
Thing is, in an ideal world we wouldn't have all this prejudice and we could be whoever we wanted. That's why I have no preference because at the end of the day we are all born with free will and our own minds. We do whatever the hell we want and life would be dull without challenges. Granted bullying is awful but i was picked on far more for my weight and looks as a kid than I was for being gay(from kids my age anyway). The only people who took issue with my sexuality were the middle aged men in the pub who thought it was ok to be rude. But then these are the men who would spend all day sat at the bar, drinking the same drink, sitting in the same spot, making the same sexist jokes, staying for the same amount of time etc. I overcome their attitude and ended up pitying them. I'm the one doing well, I'm the one earning more money than they are. I have more disposable income, I have a house I rent, a gorgeous partner, wonderful family... Being gay isn't always that bad. Not bad going for a former fat ugly kid... Life is character building
All my experiences in life have made me a stronger more confident person. I do think that if I hadn't gone through the things I did then I may not have become the person I am... And I am fabulous
yeah I seriously wouldn't want that for my kid.
Well my life hasn't been that hard compared to many others. You make it sound like I've had an awful life. I haven't. A few struggles maybe but who doesn't?
Well what do you mean?
EDIT or are you insinuating you wouldn't want them to be like me? That's fine. This world couldn't deal with more than one of me. I'm too fabulous. I'd love to stay and chat but I'm off into Soho to meet the bf and 20 other gays for a gathering. Oh the gays lead such a hard life
BIB as others have said, you could say that about so many other circumstances, be it weight, hair colour, skin colour, gender. Given the choice, you have clearly stated that having a gay child is a risk you would prefer not to take - I respect that.
However, please respect that for some of us, in fact the majority who have answered the poll, that is not the case.
Why isn't it an issue for me - because I know so many happy well adjusted gay people in my close family and circle of friends who even though they may have faced some difficulties in their lives (and most haven't) would not want to be anyone other than who they are.
I am getting fairly peed off at being called a liar just for honestly stating my views.
It's Friday night, chill.
Probably one of the most sensible posts in the thread. I did flounce out last night, but then I crept back in again this afternoon to see if anyone was talking about me. I'm now off to find the Christmas deccies.
I agree with all that you say. BUT Id still choose to avoid the trauma for my own child.
However we cant choose our child's sexuality so I guess it academic.
Im sure you are fabulous dhaaaarling