What can be done about noisy kids upstairs?

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24,724
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    Flats - arggh!

    You hear people upstairs and you get moaned at for walking on your floor from people below.

    People who make lots of noise, don't care and give you attitude when you complain. Caring people are much quieter in the first place.

    In a perfect world, you could compromise - say ask them to let them play between certain times then you get get peace but people tend to be selfish in their own home.

    In my day children played outside but these days they play indoors. The recent weather hasn't been great outdoor play weather either. Our parents told us to be more considerate.

    Flats don't have good soundproofing and people are less considerate these days.

    Noise abatement people are next to useless and if you make it official you have to tell anyone who buys the place of any noise problem.

    I have had noise problems from LOUD kids and young adults being very noisy for long periods of time, even late at night in the week, out in their gardens in a detached house, so houses are not much better.

    Recipe for hell!
  • chrisii2011chrisii2011 Posts: 2,694
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    bazaar1 wrote: »
    just for the record (after re-readng this thread I thought I'd clarify) I think the op has a right to be upset by it, even the slightest things can annoy us in our homes, and by the sounds of it, its not slight. BUT I do try to take an objective view, I can see both sides, I truly believe its possible that the father doesn't know how much noise he is making, and if the op isn't willing to discuss it with him, then there is nothing much they can do about it. I suppose you could try a nice note, but tbh I think a conversation is in order. Whilst the OP says he fears for his safety, I cannot see the harm in a quick discussion with him, if needed take the other neighbour that has concerns.

    Ive written a note and put it in his letter box just asking him to stop his kids playing with balls in the house but he took no notice.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,145
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    Ive written a note and put it in his letter box just asking him to stop his kids playing with balls in the house but he took no notice.

    then the only answer is a discussion with him. nothing will get sorted by doing nothing sadly.

    I repeat that i doubt its a ball only, I suspect its probably just general kid noise (and a ball) which may be difficult to reduce.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 24,724
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    Ive written a note and put it in his letter box just asking him to stop his kids playing with balls in the house but he took no notice.

    He won't and, in my experience, talking to them won't change anything either.
  • ganderpoke66ganderpoke66 Posts: 2,128
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    It's sad and defeatist, but the OP should be making all attempts to move, the consensus of the general public and DS is that people are entitled to make as much noise as they want in the confines of their home and f**k everyone else, the charming schizoid fellow with the 174 guitars and a drum kit is a very good case in point.

    Make yourself homeless and move down to the motorway underpass,a nicer class of neighbour and a lot quieter I'll bet.
  • Vodka_DrinkaVodka_Drinka Posts: 28,740
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    It's sad and defeatist, but the OP should be making all attempts to move, the consensus of the general public and DS is that people are entitled to make as much noise as they want in the confines of their home and f**k everyone else, the charming schizoid fellow with the 174 guitars and a drum kit is a very good case in point.

    Make yourself homeless and move down to the motorway underpass,a nicer class of neighbour and a lot quieter I'll bet.

    Ridiculous post. No one said that at all, but when you live in close proximity to other people you HAVE to expect some noise.
  • Akane TendoAkane Tendo Posts: 4,454
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    I think what contributes to all this noise is laminate flooring. I know it's possible to put soundproofing underneath but it seems many people do this on the cheap, and you can hear every footstep.

    The best thing if moving into a flat is to make sure you get one on the top floor. Yes I know you can still be affected by noise but at least you don't have to put up with people tapdancing on top of you!
  • Judge MentalJudge Mental Posts: 18,593
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    It's sad and defeatist, but the OP should be making all attempts to move, the consensus of the general public and DS is that people are entitled to make as much noise as they want in the confines of their home and f**k everyone else, the charming schizoid fellow with the 174 guitars and a drum kit is a very good case in point.

    Make yourself homeless and move down to the motorway underpass,a nicer class of neighbour and a lot quieter I'll bet.

    That's a misrepresentation of the views expressed. People are not allowed to 'make as much noise as they want' but that does not mean that it's reasonable to expect children to play in silence to satisfy the sensitivities of those living around them.
  • ganderpoke66ganderpoke66 Posts: 2,128
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    That's a misrepresentation of the views expressed. People are not allowed to 'make as much noise as they want' but that does not mean that it's reasonable to expect children to play in silence to satisfy the sensitivities of those living around them.

    Well, yes, kids should be [ shock horror ] taught to be quiet.

    It's entirely reasonable to expect a parent to be aware that screaming kids and playing ball games indoors will impact upon their adjacent neighbours . It's common sense after all.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,246
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    people with kids shouldnt live in flats, children are too noisy and it shows no consideration for childless people (who mostly live in flats)

    the ops neighbour should move, maybe the op should discuss it with him

    personally i dont feel flats are a good home situation for children, no garden to play in, probably a nightmare even getting them outside, especially if you use a pram (i found it hard enough with my small dog and that was just a first floorer), more risk of injury from falling out of windows and down stairs, just not designed for families at all

    i have a single mum on my street with 6 kids 3 under 6 years old and they run havok in the street, theres been complaints from my elderly neighbours of the kids knocking on the door asking for sweets and ice lollies (which ive seen happen), the other day 4 of the kids were rolling around wrapped in duvet covers in the middle of the street, covering themselves in dirt and making loads of noise

    parents should take responsibility and not cause nuisance to their neighbours, a child is a tenant like any other and should be subject to the usual noise rules- it wouldnt be acceptable for the adult to make loads of noise
  • shmiskshmisk Posts: 7,963
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    CJM91 wrote: »
    people with kids shouldnt live in flats, children are too noisy and it shows no consideration for childless people (who mostly live in flats)

    the ops neighbour should move, maybe the op should discuss it with him

    personally i dont feel flats are a good home situation for children, no garden to play in, probably a nightmare even getting them outside, especially if you use a pram (i found it hard enough with my small dog and that was just a first floorer), more risk of injury from falling out of windows and down stairs, just not designed for families at all

    i have a single mum on my street with 6 kids 3 under 6 years old and they run havok in the street, theres been complaints from my elderly neighbours of the kids knocking on the door asking for sweets and ice lollies (which ive seen happen), the other day 4 of the kids were rolling around wrapped in duvet covers in the middle of the street, covering themselves in dirt and making loads of noise

    parents should take responsibility and not cause nuisance to their neighbours, a child is a tenant like any other and should be subject to the usual noise rules- it wouldnt be acceptable for the adult to make loads of noise

    I live in a soundproofed flat with a child

    its a keyworker property, with a small park attached outside.

    in the sixth year of living there and I have never had one complaint. my son is now 11.

    how dare you say I 'dont have a good home situation'. I cannot afford a house in London, hence a flat.
  • Christian_GreyChristian_Grey Posts: 1,254
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    Ridiculous post. No one said that at all, but when you live in close proximity to other people you HAVE to expect some noise.

    Some noise is to be expected yes. Maybe the odd door slamming, the odd argument. What is however inconsiderate and unnaceptable is Kids constantly kicking a football around in the house. There are PLENTY of other ways children can alleviate boredom. They can read, watch a film or just do some bloody homework. But I expect that's too much hard work for most people these days so they just let their children run riot with no regard for those around them.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,246
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    shmisk wrote: »
    I live in a soundproofed flat with a child

    its a keyworker property, with a small park attached outside.

    in the sixth year of living there and I have never had one complaint. my son is now 11.

    how dare you say I 'dont have a good home situation'. I cannot afford a house in London, hence a flat.

    it sounds like you live somewhere designed for children, seeing as though there is an attached park

    many flats consist of only single and childless couples, in my old flat the girl below had no kids but her friends did,they'd come over and stay sometimes and I never got much sleep, I could hear them crying and everything, the mum telling them off, all that other noise

    im sorry but i dont think it is the right environment for kids, its not good for anyone imo, you cant keep an eye on your kids playing outside from a flat :confused:

    however i accept in london theres probably many flats designed for families, im from the north west and a pretty rural area so its likely different fdown there re flats and kids
  • abarthmanabarthman Posts: 8,501
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    CJM91 wrote: »
    the ops neighbour should move, maybe the op should discuss it with him
    That'll work, right enough!

    "Your children keep making a lot of noise, which I find quite annoying. I think it is selfish of you to live in a flat with young children. You should move to a house."

    "I'm very sorry. I'll visit the estate agents today and move my family into a house as soon as possible. The children really are noisy little scamps."

    Or, more likely:

    "F*** off before I stab you!"
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,246
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    abarthman wrote: »
    That'll work, right enough!

    "Your children keep making a lot of noise, which I find quite annoying. I think it is selfish of you to live in a flat with young children. You should move to a house."

    "I'm very sorry. I'll visit the estate agents today and move my family into a house as soon as possible. The children really are noisy little scamps."

    Or, more likely:

    "F*** off before I stab you!"

    So you dont honestly agree a house is a better environment for a child, or at the least a ground floor flat?

    I wouldnt recommend telling the neighbour to move, maybe the op if feeling flush can offer a cash incentive, perhaps to pay the neighbours bond upfront on a new home?

    I lived in my flat for 3 years and the noisiest time was when my neighbours friends brought her kids round, 3 different people lived there in my time, a 19 year old lad that listened to loud music, a couple that shouted often and that girls friends kids were the noisiest of the lot, i would have been in a hellish place had they lived there
  • shmiskshmisk Posts: 7,963
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    CJM91 wrote: »
    it sounds like you live somewhere designed for children, seeing as though there is an attached park

    many flats consist of only single and childless couples, in my old flat the girl below had no kids but her friends did,they'd come over and stay sometimes and I never got much sleep, I could hear them crying and everything, the mum telling them off, all that other noise

    im sorry but i dont think it is the right environment for kids, its not good for anyone imo, you cant keep an eye on your kids playing outside from a flat :confused:

    however i accept in london theres probably many flats designed for families, im from the north west and a pretty rural area so its likely different fdown there re flats and kids

    no not designed some of the flats are one bedroomed

    its easy to keep your eye on kids playing outside - you go with them!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,145
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    CJM91 wrote: »
    people with kids shouldnt live in flats, children are too noisy and it shows no consideration for childless people (who mostly live in flats)

    the ops neighbour should move, maybe the op should discuss it with him

    personally i dont feel flats are a good home situation for children, no garden to play in, probably a nightmare even getting them outside, especially if you use a pram (i found it hard enough with my small dog and that was just a first floorer), more risk of injury from falling out of windows and down stairs, just not designed for families at all

    i have a single mum on my street with 6 kids 3 under 6 years old and they run havok in the street, theres been complaints from my elderly neighbours of the kids knocking on the door asking for sweets and ice lollies (which ive seen happen), the other day 4 of the kids were rolling around wrapped in duvet covers in the middle of the street, covering themselves in dirt and making loads of noise

    parents should take responsibility and not cause nuisance to their neighbours, a child is a tenant like any other and should be subject to the usual noise rules- it wouldnt be acceptable for the adult to make loads of noise

    What an incredibly ignorant post. I highly doubt that many parents choose a flat because they think its best for thier child. Most choose the best they can afford, which maybe a flat in a crappy area (as it was for me). The home does not make good or bad parents, well behaved or naughty children. The family does that.

    A bad mother will be a bad mother in a flat or a mansion. I was brought up in a bed sit, my mum couldn't afford anything else, and I take massive offense to you calling her a bad parent.

    The fact that you would judge and look down on those that don't have a perfect environment for thier children (in your eyes I might add) is pathetic and just shows what a shallow, ignorant person you must be.

    This attitude in society that belongings, the size of your house, your car etc make you better/worse than your neighbour is ridiculous.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,246
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    shmisk wrote: »
    no not designed some of the flats are one bedroomed

    its easy to keep your eye on kids playing outside - you go with them!

    if your flat is sound proof and you only have one child your neighbours have likely escaped the noise, the one child isnt that noisy but more than one definately is and many flats arnt soundproof

    you cant always go with kids when they play outside though? They play on their own with friends, atleast i did out the front of my house when I was little, in a flat unless ground floor or possibly first floor you cant keep an accurate eye on your kids playing outside from a flat
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,145
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    CJM91 wrote: »
    if your flat is sound proof and you only have one child your neighbours have likely escaped the noise, the one child isnt that noisy but more than one definately is and many flats arnt soundproof

    you cant always go with kids when they play outside though? They play on their own with friends, atleast i did out the front of my house when I was little, in a flat unless ground floor or possibly first floor you cant keep an accurate eye on your kids playing outside from a flat

    Haven't you just moaned about the mum on your street letting her kids out to cause havoc, now your saying kids should be let out alone? Which is it? Or was it just that she was a single mum that you felt you needed to get a dig in?

    My kids do not, and will, not, play out alone, they don't play on the street anyway, i hate the kids running up and down the road, so won't add mine to them! There are too many dangers these days for me to allow mine out alone, they have a large garden, or we go to a park (the end of the road).
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,246
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    bazaar1 wrote: »
    What an incredibly ignorant post. I highly doubt that many parents choose a flat because they think its best for thier child. Most choose the best they can afford, which maybe a flat in a crappy area (as it was for me). The home does not make good or bad parents, well behaved or naughty children. The family does that.

    A bad mother will be a bad mother in a flat or a mansion. I was brought up in a bed sit, my mum couldn't afford anything else, and I take massive offense to you calling her a bad parent.

    The fact that you would judge and look down on those that don't have a perfect environment for thier children (in your eyes I might add) is pathetic and just shows what a shallow, ignorant person you must be.

    This attitude in society that belongings, the size of your house, your car etc make you better/worse than your neighbour is ridiculous.

    where did I say living in a flat equals badly behaved children and bad parents? I merely stated practical reasons why its less preferable to a house, how this equates to the parent in the flat being bad I do not know

    You shouldnt take such offence, and try reading! I'm not posh or rich, as stated I lived in a flat myself and am about to move back into one and rent another seperate flat, 2 flats suits me more than one large home

    I don't have kids though and I'm currently taking up a 3 bed family home with a garden which could go to someone with children, I'm not a nasty or ignorant person for taking the opinion flats are a less practically preferable living quarters for kids to houses (although a ground floor flat is pretty much the same as a house so would too be good for kids, so there you go, I'm not a flat snob lol)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,246
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    bazaar1 wrote: »
    Haven't you just moaned about the mum on your street letting her kids out to cause havoc, now your saying kids should be let out alone? Which is it? Or was it just that she was a single mum that you felt you needed to get a dig in?

    My kids do not, and will, not, play out alone, they don't play on the street anyway, i hate the kids running up and down the road, so won't add mine to them! There are too many dangers these days for me to allow mine out alone, they have a large garden, or we go to a park (the end of the road).

    i live on a street cars cant drive up, in a very quiet area, I dont think kids should be allowed to play near busy roads but many kids do like playing out the front where I live right now, the garden is out the front

    and no however this woman cant cope with her kids and they shouldnt be harassing elderly neighbours, no issues with them playing though that kind of noise doesnt really bother me and I cant hear it from most of my house anyway, due to old thick victorian walls
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,145
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    CJM91 wrote: »
    where did I say living in a flat equals badly behaved children and bad parents? I merely stated practical reasons why its less preferable to a house, how this equates to the parent in the flat being bad I do not know

    You shouldnt take such offence, and try reading! I'm not posh or rich, as stated I lived in a flat myself and am about to move back into one and rent another seperate flat, 2 flats suits me more than one large home

    I don't have kids though and I'm currently taking up a 3 bed family home with a garden which could go to someone with children, I'm not a nasty or ignorant person for taking the opinion flats are a less practically preferable living quarters for kids to houses (although a ground floor flat is pretty much the same as a house so would too be good for kids, so there you go, I'm not a flat snob lol)
    You started with a blanket statement saying kids should not live in flats. You then say those that do have children in flats are inconsiderate. You then list the (somewhat silly in some instances) reasons why YOU do not think kids should be in flats. Then you rattle off some story about an appalling single mother (why her singleness or number of kids is relevant I don't know, but I suspect it was for effect) and how she's proof that kids are the root of all evil (or such such nonsense), then you prove that you have no idea about children at all by saying they should inside by adult noise laws.

    Idiotic, ignorant and just plain silly.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,246
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    bazaar1 wrote: »
    You started with a blanket statement saying kids should not live in flats. You then say those that do have children in flats are inconsiderate. You then list the (somewhat silly in some instances) reasons why YOU do not think kids should be in flats. Then you rattle off some story about an appalling single mother (why her singleness or number of kids is relevant I don't know, but I suspect it was for effect) and how she's proof that kids are the root of all evil (or such such nonsense), then you prove that you have no idea about children at all by saying they should inside by adult noise laws.

    Idiotic, ignorant and just plain silly.

    jesus, I think you need to sit down and have a kitkat love

    No, I dont think that, ideally, kids should be in flats

    I never said it was anything other than MY opinion, try reading again where I said imo

    and yes, if you don't make sure the flats are soundproof and you move to a flat block mostly inhabited by childless professionals, older single people or similar then you are inconsiderate, an exception imo could be given to the one child if its quiet

    again, all this is my opinion as a childless person whos lived in flats

    and you still havnt explained how I said having kids in flats means your a bad parent (oh wait, cos I didnt say it as I dont think it)

    why do you think that some flats dont allow children?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,145
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    CJM91 wrote: »
    jesus, I think you need to sit down and have a kitkat love

    No, I dont think that, ideally, kids should be in flats

    I never said it was anything other than MY opinion, try reading again where I said imo

    and yes, if you don't make sure the flats are soundproof and you move to a flat block mostly inhabited by childless professionals, older single people or similar then you are inconsiderate, an exception imo could be given the the one child if its quiet

    again, all this is my opinion as a childless person whos lived in flats

    I repeat, that often those that move into flats with children have little other options (not all, but many) its not a case of they should move because they have kids, and it is not a case of being inconsiderate. It's a case of needing a roof over thier heads.

    I would much rather have a family next door than the idiots I have there atm, perhaps they are inconsiderate and should move as they are childless and don't need the house and garden? Shall I suggest to to them?

    And the fact that you called a child 'it' proves you have no idea about children at all.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,246
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    bazaar1 wrote: »
    I repeat, that often those that move into flats with children have little other options (not all, but many) its not a case of they should move because they have kids, and it is not a case of being inconsiderate. It's a case of needing a roof over thier heads.

    I would much rather have a family next door than the idiots I have there atm, perhaps they are inconsiderate and should move as they are childless and don't need the house and garden? Shall I suggest to to them?

    And the fact that you called a child 'it' proves you have no idea about children at all.


    a hypothetical child is neither a he or she, i wouldnt refer to a real kid as it!

    your too easily offended, I think you should read my edit too because I missed something off

    all noisy neighbours should clean up their act or move, can we not agree with that? living in a flat requires compromise for not constant noise, if you have a noisy lifestyle ie have kids you shouldnt live somewhere that noise is going to terrorise others lives

    i accept not everyone can afford a house, however ideally they'd move to another area with cheaper family accomadation and poor people with kids tend to be alot better off than poor people without
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