Have eight weeks really passed so quickly? Surely it was only yesterday that we were all sitting down together with anticipatory delight at the third series of The Restaurant and now it is coming to an end. Was it really October when we saw the coconut psychos and the staff of Asda being harassed for gravadlax. Now goat toffee and army guys who can’t hack it on civvy street are but a distant memory. And what are we left with? A couple of chancers who can’t cook and an averagely-talented chef whose FoH hates hard work and people. We’re through the looking glass, people.
The episode starts with a look back at those who fell on the way, the also-rans who made us cringe, laugh and shout “oh she’s not bloody crying again, is she?” at the screen. Nathan and Chris and JJ and James are summonsed to Bristol Temple Meads station where Raymond is hogging a platform. The FoH are off to David’s restaurant, Pied a Terre in London, whilst the "chefs" (he has the temerity to attach this label to JJ) are off to Le Manoir, although oddly he never refers to it by name just calling it “my place in Great Milton”. He then gives them an odd lecture on consistency and reminds them of the prize that awaits. Remember, JJ has been nothing if not consistent. He has consistently shat in his pants when anyone asks him to do any cooking.
At PaT (as we will call it henceforth) we are on David’s turf and it is very, very clear that he is in charge. Detail, detail, detail is the order of the day and one gets the impression that David is not a very easy person to work for. Service is "theatre…two shows a day…everything is going to be perfect". We see a quick infomercial for PaT and then Nathan and James arrive. I’m not sure what Nathan is planning to wear but he appears to be carrying the sort of suit and shirt worn by the Great Soprendo, rather than the sober greys and charcoal that the PaT staff normally dress in. Can’t see David standing for that and immediately he’s chiding Nathan for having grubby shoes. Sartorially, James has always had the upper hand, if one finds the Sebastian Flyte school of fashion becoming, but he does seem to be more at ease with the fiddly little necessities that are so very important to David – uncreased cloths, unmarked plates and the sort of obsession about millimetre-accurate precision on placement that even NASA wouldn’t have though twice about when bringing Apollo 13 back to Earth. Of course they both fall well short of David’s standards “I know it’s anal…but it’s how I like it,” he says, which is too much of a gift for me to comment on any further.
With 30 minutes to service the boys are given their grey service shirts (the Great Soprendo thing hangs limply over a chair, we never get to see what it really is) and Nathan has actually managed to stand close enough to a razor for his bum-fluff to fall off, revealing shiny cheeks and a neck rash. There’s a snidey little comment about Nathan’s shoes again and David sends them out into the restaurant to see to the first guests. They manage to dispense the bread without David erupting (although his eyes take on a reptilian narrowness) whenever they step near a customer but James is soon pulled up for referring to the mackerel as “mackerel” and the sea bass as “sea bass” (not descriptive enough, you see). However if James commits the venial sin of forgetfulness, then Nathan’s is akin to rodgering the Holy Father – he has to ask a customer twice. His gentle “Madam was it the tuna for you?” enrages David almost to the point of tears and Nathan is sent to the naughty step to be dealt with later. Whilst this sort of service suits James’s oily sincerity, it’s not for Nathan and David gives him a Final Warning, although the sneering look on Nathan’s face shows us how ridiculous he thinks the whole game is. Just as we lick our lips in anticipation of Nathan doing something really bad (he wilfully splits an infinitive in front of a posh sort but gets away with it) the service is over. David isn’t particularly chuffed with either but gives James the win on points.
At Le Manoir, Raymond is waving his recipes at JJ and Chris. Everything that is cooked is documented and Raymond is most particular about this, as if he were a PRINCE2 examiner. The recipe is for chicken stock and JJ, who has the facial expression of a bridegroom who’s woken up the morning after the Stag do without the first idea of where he is and how he has come to be there, nods blankly as Raymond wallops his chicken wings. In front of the stove Raymond comes alive, his accent thickening and his arms waving as he darts around explaining (quite falsely, IMHO) how he’s the only chef who uses chicken wings in stock and how “young people” don’t deglaze pans anymore. He introduces the boys to various seafood and shouts at a flunkey to bring him a small bowl, even though there’s one 20 centimetres in front of him. He doesn’t add egg whites to his scallop mousse and when asking why he leaps upon JJ’s rather perpendicular answer “not enough protein” as if the bloke has just announced the Liberation of Paris and excoriates Chris (who presumably thought the answer was bloody obvious) for staying schtum.
Raymond has completed his dish, brill with scallop mousse, and it’s up to Chris and JJ to copy him, with an hour in which to do it. As they attempt the dish Raymond is watching like a hawk, making notes (“JJ slow – 1 step behind”) and tasting as they go. Like a baffled schoolboy doing his Mocks, a puce-faced JJ keeps glancing at Chris which earns a rebuke from Raymond and, as the hour is up, it is Chris who has finished first, although not perfectly. The fastidious Raymond thinks the jus is burned and wonders why Chris didn’t notice this and correct it. Also, as JJ comes in five laps later, Chris suffers the humiliation of having JJ’s mousse favoured over his own (“why didn’t you taste eet?”). Just in case anyone was wondering if JJ had discovered a latent but well-hidden talent for cooking he’s overdone the fish and the brill is anything but. Showing how proper chefs do it Raymond waves Chris’s brill in JJ’s face.“Perfectly moist…perfectly lubricated,” he pervs.
With that they are dismissed to meet once more in the final challenge. JJ, still seemingly oblivious of any gastronomic failings on his part, knows that Chris is good by if JJ “plays to his strengths” he reckons he’ll be OK. If he could let us know what those strengths are we’d be grateful because so far he’s only shown any animation when shaking a cocktail. For his part, Chris knows that he needs to avoid any silly mistakes but you do have the impression that, even if he creates the greatest food known to (French)man, it might not matter at all.
Buck ...thank you so much for your posts; they have been absolutely superb and spot-on!!:):):)
I just wish you would copy the whole lot over to M. Blanc's website as well as to the producers of the show I am sure they would find them fascinating reading!!!!;)
It's interesting to speculate what would have happened if the winkers hadn't 'miraculously' had their cocktail brainwave (by the by, the moment the music suddenly shifted to some sort of vile uptempo 'cocktail jazz' at this point, my heart sank). It's clear that by then RB & co planned to anoint then as victors whatever, but had the sorry spectacle of the souffle been their final gambit, their decision would have been even harder to justify. So I suspect it wasn't a totally spur-of-the moment thing.
I suspect something similar happened with Steve and Rebecca: he was supposed to do badly the initial 'cookery school' segment, but in fact overcame his nervousness and played a blinder, and they couldn't have justified closing their restaurant (the evening service went well, too, I seem to remember). That's why the programme makers then organised another cookery demo in front of even more people, knowing he'd struggle (the fact that doing that had nothing to do with running a restaurant presumably is irrelevant).
Looking further at their website, especially the gallery showing they were in OK magazine back in May, shows how well they were doing then. Why could RB, Sarah etc. not just go ahead and invest in them without the farce of the last 8 weeks and save us all time?
Looking further at their website, especially the gallery showing they were in OK magazine back in May, shows how well they were doing then. Why could RB, Sarah etc. not just go ahead and invest in them without the farce of the last 8 weeks and save us all time?
I agree and then we could have had a "proper" contest instead of that farce!!!
You could always tell what was going to happen by the introduction of the "public speaking" contest the previous week. I watch The Apprentice for this sort of thing.
How many good quality chefs actually go to those sort of events to speak? They could have saved him going through what was obviously a very uncomfortable event when their minds were already made up.
"Sorry Monsieur Blanc but I believe this is a considerable faux pas for you and your business partners as many of your viewers will now paint your existing ventures with the the values highlighted by your choice of series 3 winners. Speaking for ourselves, this means that you have not only lost potential viewers for any fourth series (please don't) but you have also lost potential paying customers for your restaurants."
I truly hope the ramifications of what Le Blank has done are fully sinking in this weekend to the point where, when he first wakes up each morning he has that few seconds where he wonders if the whole thing was just a dream but then the awful, soul-sickening reality hits him full-force as he realises it was all horribly real and he’s permanently damaged his reputation in the eyes of everyone who saw this wretched series and by extension all those whom we will go on to tell about it.
Word of mouth Raymond - Here’s hoping it ruins you.
Sorry Monsieur Blanc but I believe this is a considerable faux pas for you and your business partners as many of your viewers will now paint your existing ventures with the the values highlighted by your choice of series 3 winners. Speaking for ourselves, this means that you have not only lost potential viewers for any fourth series (please don't) but you have also lost potential paying customers for your restaurants.
I truly hope the ramifications of what Le Blank has done are fully sinking in this weekend to the point where, when he first wakes up each morning he has that few seconds where he wonders if the whole thing was just a dream but then the awful, soul-sickening reality hits him full-force as he realises it was all horribly real and he’s permanently damaged his reputation in the eyes of everyone who saw this wretched series and by extension all those whom we will go on to tell about it.
Word of mouth Raymond - Here’s hoping it ruins you.
Where is an applause smiley when you need one!
This whole sorry saga has left me with a deep sense of unease..it was disingenuous to say the least. Blancs continued failure to update his blog as promised speaks volumes. As you say...a bad, bad dream!
I don't think the ranters on here go out much, so I don't expect M Blanc, JJ or James will lose any sleep over you going to Whetherspoons (sic), whether you watch the show again, whatever the weather.
:rolleyes:
Sorry I didn't imagine that I would require accurate spelling, references before worrying about how to spell a budget pub chain on here.
The real question is, who goes out less the people who come to an internet forum to critique a TV programme, or the person who comes to an internet forum to critique the people giving the critiques?
If I had my money on the line and had to open a restaurant with one of those couples I would have picked JJ and James as well. They are serious and businessnesslike and know what the public want.
Chris seemed like a really lovely bloke and was pretty whizzy in the kitchen but he didn't have a very distinctive concept and he was a partnered with an absolute stinker of a front of house man. Even though he made a lot of improvements during the series, I would be quite wary of working with Nathan.
JJ and James formed a great partnership and worked very well together. They supported each other well and both seemed to believe in their concept. I thought they were the obvious choice of the two couples left in the final.
Hey! BBC Vision! Instead of going through the motion off trawling he nation (by Google!) next time just catch the tube outside BBC TV centre (central line tube to the Westend/Soho/Leicester Square) and select the best and worst from there!!! it would take a lot less time and expense! and a lot less of the pain all of you and us are feeling now!
If I had my money on the line and had to open a restaurant with one of those couples I would have picked JJ and James as well. They are serious and businessnesslike and know what the public want.
JJ and James formed a great partnership and worked very well together. They supported each other well and both seemed to believe in their concept. I thought they were the obvious choice of the two couples left in the final.
So contact them and offer them an investment. I’m sure they’re not picky about the amount - Large or small, all gratefully received.
I mean, after all, it’s not as if you’d have to worry about negative publicity or ill-feeling from duped viewers scuppering the chances of recovering your investment is it?
On entering my new establishment, you will be greeted wiz high-fives and an oleaginous wink from FOH supremo James, a graduate of ze Sydney and Melbourne Academy of Retail Management (S.M.A.R.M.) and winner of ze prestigious 2009 Bristol Tea Rooms wet shirt competition.
Inside you can kick back in comfort in ze relaxed and stress free surroundings designed (wiz his customary laid-back flair) by my trusted friend and confidant David (patron of ze renowned restaurant 'How Dare You' on London's Charlotte Street).
Outlines of your cutlery, flat ware and glasses have been stencilled on every tablecloth so that you may keep ze perfect symmetry of ze table setting without having to bring ze rulers and set squares that are de rigueur for patrons at 'How Dare You'.
From the moment (six months before filming started) I met those two lovable but highly motivated and, above all, trustworthy boys I knew they would win the competition. I never had ANY doubts about their abilities and trustworthiness and I NEVER had any negative thoughts about them whatsoever.
So contact them and offer them an investment. I’m sure they’re not picky about the amount - Large or small, all gratefully received.
I mean, after all, it’s not as if you’d have to worry about negative publicity or ill-feeling from duped viewers scuppering the chances of recovering your investment is it?
The restaurant won't be harmed by the disquiet of the shows viewers. They aren't its target market anyway - the locals are.
I gather from some of the posts on the BBC's message boards that people are starting to complain officially to the BBC rather than just post their disquiet on message boards. The sense of unease about this all being something of a set up allied with the fact that the Winkers had an existing drinks/catering business is growing
Blanc's blog and Twitter still continues to be strikingly silent
I think your crystal ball needs a polish as it doesn’t seem to be working properly.
You hardly need a crystal ball to know that a high street restaurant builds its custom on repeat business from locals, not favourable opinion from television viewers in other parts of the country who would probably never be in the area to visit the restaurant in any case.
You hardly need a crystal ball to know that a high street restaurant builds its custom on repeat business from locals, not favourable opinion from television viewers in other parts of the country who would probably never be in the area to visit the restaurant in any case.
Which part of the country is this where "the locals" don’t watch telly as well?
Le Blank’s business is clearly already feeling the effects of his self-serving decision and contrary to popular opinion there is such a thing as bad publicity, even in this age of spin, almost certainly meaning The Winkers existing business and any future shithole they open with Le Blank will suffer as a result of this travesty.
I'm sure this thread will run and run for many days yet, a good read as always!
Can I just express my thanks to Buck, who at least made watching the programme bearable. Buck's critiques were always spot on! And an honourable mention for Bibendum for a very funny post!
I look forward to RB's justification on his blog for this disaster. The silence is deafening...
You hardly need a crystal ball to know that a high street restaurant builds its custom on repeat business from locals, not favourable opinion from television viewers in other parts of the country who would probably never be in the area to visit the restaurant in any case.
I cannot see JJ and James moving from central London, they are not a business that thrives on 'local' trade, but on word of mouth and reviews. The Cocktail Club have no food reviews.
Which part of the country is this where "the locals" don’t watch telly as well?
Le Blank’s business is clearly already feeling the effects of his self-serving decision and contrary to popular opinion there is such a thing as bad publicity, even in this age of spin, almost certainly meaning The Winkers existing business and any future shithole they open with Le Blank will suffer as a result of this travesty.
People will go there to check it out and all the controversy only makes them more likely to do so I think. It keeps them in people's minds.
There is such a thing as bad publicity but I don't think this is it. Their food wasn't bad, it just wasn't cooked by the "chef" and people consistently raved about their cocktails. I didn't like either of the pair on the show but I'd probably still go to the restaurant if I were in the area, just to see what it was like and if it was good I'd end up going back.
Your post is self-contradictory: you say that his decision was "self-seving" yet claim it will harm his business. That makes no sense.
The whole point of the show is for them to pick the ones they want to set up a business with. Why are people surprised that they picked the credible business people rather than the dreadful novice waiter and the chef whose food came out late and cold?
Comments
Part 1 - Chez Raymond et David
Have eight weeks really passed so quickly? Surely it was only yesterday that we were all sitting down together with anticipatory delight at the third series of The Restaurant and now it is coming to an end. Was it really October when we saw the coconut psychos and the staff of Asda being harassed for gravadlax. Now goat toffee and army guys who can’t hack it on civvy street are but a distant memory. And what are we left with? A couple of chancers who can’t cook and an averagely-talented chef whose FoH hates hard work and people. We’re through the looking glass, people.
The episode starts with a look back at those who fell on the way, the also-rans who made us cringe, laugh and shout “oh she’s not bloody crying again, is she?” at the screen. Nathan and Chris and JJ and James are summonsed to Bristol Temple Meads station where Raymond is hogging a platform. The FoH are off to David’s restaurant, Pied a Terre in London, whilst the "chefs" (he has the temerity to attach this label to JJ) are off to Le Manoir, although oddly he never refers to it by name just calling it “my place in Great Milton”. He then gives them an odd lecture on consistency and reminds them of the prize that awaits. Remember, JJ has been nothing if not consistent. He has consistently shat in his pants when anyone asks him to do any cooking.
At PaT (as we will call it henceforth) we are on David’s turf and it is very, very clear that he is in charge. Detail, detail, detail is the order of the day and one gets the impression that David is not a very easy person to work for. Service is "theatre…two shows a day…everything is going to be perfect". We see a quick infomercial for PaT and then Nathan and James arrive. I’m not sure what Nathan is planning to wear but he appears to be carrying the sort of suit and shirt worn by the Great Soprendo, rather than the sober greys and charcoal that the PaT staff normally dress in. Can’t see David standing for that and immediately he’s chiding Nathan for having grubby shoes. Sartorially, James has always had the upper hand, if one finds the Sebastian Flyte school of fashion becoming, but he does seem to be more at ease with the fiddly little necessities that are so very important to David – uncreased cloths, unmarked plates and the sort of obsession about millimetre-accurate precision on placement that even NASA wouldn’t have though twice about when bringing Apollo 13 back to Earth. Of course they both fall well short of David’s standards “I know it’s anal…but it’s how I like it,” he says, which is too much of a gift for me to comment on any further.
With 30 minutes to service the boys are given their grey service shirts (the Great Soprendo thing hangs limply over a chair, we never get to see what it really is) and Nathan has actually managed to stand close enough to a razor for his bum-fluff to fall off, revealing shiny cheeks and a neck rash. There’s a snidey little comment about Nathan’s shoes again and David sends them out into the restaurant to see to the first guests. They manage to dispense the bread without David erupting (although his eyes take on a reptilian narrowness) whenever they step near a customer but James is soon pulled up for referring to the mackerel as “mackerel” and the sea bass as “sea bass” (not descriptive enough, you see). However if James commits the venial sin of forgetfulness, then Nathan’s is akin to rodgering the Holy Father – he has to ask a customer twice. His gentle “Madam was it the tuna for you?” enrages David almost to the point of tears and Nathan is sent to the naughty step to be dealt with later. Whilst this sort of service suits James’s oily sincerity, it’s not for Nathan and David gives him a Final Warning, although the sneering look on Nathan’s face shows us how ridiculous he thinks the whole game is. Just as we lick our lips in anticipation of Nathan doing something really bad (he wilfully splits an infinitive in front of a posh sort but gets away with it) the service is over. David isn’t particularly chuffed with either but gives James the win on points.
At Le Manoir, Raymond is waving his recipes at JJ and Chris. Everything that is cooked is documented and Raymond is most particular about this, as if he were a PRINCE2 examiner. The recipe is for chicken stock and JJ, who has the facial expression of a bridegroom who’s woken up the morning after the Stag do without the first idea of where he is and how he has come to be there, nods blankly as Raymond wallops his chicken wings. In front of the stove Raymond comes alive, his accent thickening and his arms waving as he darts around explaining (quite falsely, IMHO) how he’s the only chef who uses chicken wings in stock and how “young people” don’t deglaze pans anymore. He introduces the boys to various seafood and shouts at a flunkey to bring him a small bowl, even though there’s one 20 centimetres in front of him. He doesn’t add egg whites to his scallop mousse and when asking why he leaps upon JJ’s rather perpendicular answer “not enough protein” as if the bloke has just announced the Liberation of Paris and excoriates Chris (who presumably thought the answer was bloody obvious) for staying schtum.
Raymond has completed his dish, brill with scallop mousse, and it’s up to Chris and JJ to copy him, with an hour in which to do it. As they attempt the dish Raymond is watching like a hawk, making notes (“JJ slow – 1 step behind”) and tasting as they go. Like a baffled schoolboy doing his Mocks, a puce-faced JJ keeps glancing at Chris which earns a rebuke from Raymond and, as the hour is up, it is Chris who has finished first, although not perfectly. The fastidious Raymond thinks the jus is burned and wonders why Chris didn’t notice this and correct it. Also, as JJ comes in five laps later, Chris suffers the humiliation of having JJ’s mousse favoured over his own (“why didn’t you taste eet?”). Just in case anyone was wondering if JJ had discovered a latent but well-hidden talent for cooking he’s overdone the fish and the brill is anything but. Showing how proper chefs do it Raymond waves Chris’s brill in JJ’s face.“Perfectly moist…perfectly lubricated,” he pervs.
With that they are dismissed to meet once more in the final challenge. JJ, still seemingly oblivious of any gastronomic failings on his part, knows that Chris is good by if JJ “plays to his strengths” he reckons he’ll be OK. If he could let us know what those strengths are we’d be grateful because so far he’s only shown any animation when shaking a cocktail. For his part, Chris knows that he needs to avoid any silly mistakes but you do have the impression that, even if he creates the greatest food known to (French)man, it might not matter at all.
I just wish you would copy the whole lot over to M. Blanc's website as well as to the producers of the show I am sure they would find them fascinating reading!!!!;)
I suspect something similar happened with Steve and Rebecca: he was supposed to do badly the initial 'cookery school' segment, but in fact overcame his nervousness and played a blinder, and they couldn't have justified closing their restaurant (the evening service went well, too, I seem to remember). That's why the programme makers then organised another cookery demo in front of even more people, knowing he'd struggle (the fact that doing that had nothing to do with running a restaurant presumably is irrelevant).
Thing is....I doubt JJ and James would be there.....
I agree and then we could have had a "proper" contest instead of that farce!!!
more complaints about crazy ray.
How many good quality chefs actually go to those sort of events to speak? They could have saved him going through what was obviously a very uncomfortable event when their minds were already made up.
Yay. First sighting of Godwin's law this series.
Eva Prawn Cocktail anyone?
"Sorry Monsieur Blanc but I believe this is a considerable faux pas for you and your business partners as many of your viewers will now paint your existing ventures with the the values highlighted by your choice of series 3 winners. Speaking for ourselves, this means that you have not only lost potential viewers for any fourth series (please don't) but you have also lost potential paying customers for your restaurants."
I truly hope the ramifications of what Le Blank has done are fully sinking in this weekend to the point where, when he first wakes up each morning he has that few seconds where he wonders if the whole thing was just a dream but then the awful, soul-sickening reality hits him full-force as he realises it was all horribly real and he’s permanently damaged his reputation in the eyes of everyone who saw this wretched series and by extension all those whom we will go on to tell about it.
Word of mouth Raymond - Here’s hoping it ruins you.
Where is an applause smiley when you need one!
This whole sorry saga has left me with a deep sense of unease..it was disingenuous to say the least. Blancs continued failure to update his blog as promised speaks volumes. As you say...a bad, bad dream!
:rolleyes:
Sorry I didn't imagine that I would require accurate spelling, references before worrying about how to spell a budget pub chain on here.
The real question is, who goes out less the people who come to an internet forum to critique a TV programme, or the person who comes to an internet forum to critique the people giving the critiques?
So... who really gets out less?
Chris seemed like a really lovely bloke and was pretty whizzy in the kitchen but he didn't have a very distinctive concept and he was a partnered with an absolute stinker of a front of house man. Even though he made a lot of improvements during the series, I would be quite wary of working with Nathan.
JJ and James formed a great partnership and worked very well together. They supported each other well and both seemed to believe in their concept. I thought they were the obvious choice of the two couples left in the final.
Oooh shiny!
So contact them and offer them an investment. I’m sure they’re not picky about the amount - Large or small, all gratefully received.
I mean, after all, it’s not as if you’d have to worry about negative publicity or ill-feeling from duped viewers scuppering the chances of recovering your investment is it?
^ That sums it up perfectly for me! Very funny!!!
The restaurant won't be harmed by the disquiet of the shows viewers. They aren't its target market anyway - the locals are.
I think your crystal ball needs a polish as it doesn’t seem to be working properly.
Blanc's blog and Twitter still continues to be strikingly silent
You hardly need a crystal ball to know that a high street restaurant builds its custom on repeat business from locals, not favourable opinion from television viewers in other parts of the country who would probably never be in the area to visit the restaurant in any case.
Which part of the country is this where "the locals" don’t watch telly as well?
Le Blank’s business is clearly already feeling the effects of his self-serving decision and contrary to popular opinion there is such a thing as bad publicity, even in this age of spin, almost certainly meaning The Winkers existing business and any future shithole they open with Le Blank will suffer as a result of this travesty.
Can I just express my thanks to Buck, who at least made watching the programme bearable. Buck's critiques were always spot on! And an honourable mention for Bibendum for a very funny post!
I look forward to RB's justification on his blog for this disaster. The silence is deafening...
I cannot see JJ and James moving from central London, they are not a business that thrives on 'local' trade, but on word of mouth and reviews. The Cocktail Club have no food reviews.
People will go there to check it out and all the controversy only makes them more likely to do so I think. It keeps them in people's minds.
There is such a thing as bad publicity but I don't think this is it. Their food wasn't bad, it just wasn't cooked by the "chef" and people consistently raved about their cocktails. I didn't like either of the pair on the show but I'd probably still go to the restaurant if I were in the area, just to see what it was like and if it was good I'd end up going back.
Your post is self-contradictory: you say that his decision was "self-seving" yet claim it will harm his business. That makes no sense.
The whole point of the show is for them to pick the ones they want to set up a business with. Why are people surprised that they picked the credible business people rather than the dreadful novice waiter and the chef whose food came out late and cold?