And here is Jones' gracious response in the somewhat inappropriately-titled 'Right Minds' column in MS
''The charity Hearing Dogs For Deaf People has complained about me describing my own four dogs as ‘hearing dogs’ because they were not trained and provided by the official organisation.
If I employ a qualified animal behaviourist to train my own collies to alert me to burglars and smoke, that’s my business.
What next, a sheep dog can’t be called a sheep dog unless trained by a charity? ''
And here is Jones' gracious response in the somewhat inappropriately-titled 'Right Minds' column in MS
''The charity Hearing Dogs For Deaf People has complained about me describing my own four dogs as ‘hearing dogs’ because they were not trained and provided by the official organisation.
If I employ a qualified animal behaviourist to train my own collies to alert me to burglars and smoke, that’s my business.
What next, a sheep dog can’t be called a sheep dog unless trained by a charity? ''
God, she's an ignorant old bitch.
As it happens, I have a masters degree but I like to call it a PhD because it's the first of its kind in the country and I did so VERY much work on it that it really FEELS like a doctorate. What next, PhDs only being PhDs if they are carried out to PhD level, defended to a panel of experts and given by a recognised academic institution?
WRT Jonesey's editor defending her column: that is the editor's job. The editor MUST stand by what he/she published. Behind the scenes though he/she is a) kicking Liz up the scrawny (and, according to today's cartoon, legless) butt for her insensitivity and/or b) encouraging her to write more trollish tripe because it generates many clickthroughs. Possibly both.
She can't be for real. What an ignorant nasty woman.
1) What she describes are not hearing dogs, they're pretty much just dogs.
2) She constantly refers to them as hearing dogs, even in situations when their title isn't relevant. Therefore, she is portraying them as equivalent to guide dogs - essential to her life - to emphasise her claims of deafness
3) We know this to be true, because a page or two back someone posted her first mention of a hearing dog was when she was whining that someone wouldn't let him in a shop even though they were supposed to let in guide dogs.
4) Comparing hearing dogs to sheepdogs is incredibly ignorant. For some types of dogs it comes to them naturally and they don't need much training, whereas hearing dogs need very extensive, costly training and also need to have special personality traits and intelligence.
5) For this reason, many deaf people would love to have a hearing dog, but unfortunately they are not available for everyone. Her claiming to have one hearing dog - let alone four - takes the piss. It might make deaf people who need a dog despair at how easy it (seemingly) is for her to get them.
6) Also, sheep dog herd sheep. A farmer not being able to herd sheep is not a disability.
7) Calling them hearing dogs because they bark at intruders is like calling yourself a mathematician because you can count. Or calling yourself a doctor because you did a first aid course.
8) A charity is entitled to be annoyed at claiming she has not one but four of their highly qualified expensive dogs.
This woman is always attention seeking and trying to make herself look more special and unusual than everyone else.
Little bit hard of hearing = Deaf.
Didn't have fashion titties = had giant pendulous boobs that had to be hacked off
Shallow and wants to be thinner = Anorexic (just as offensive to real anorexics BTW)
Didn't eat or wear animal products for a few days = vegan
Was a brunette = midnight storm hair
Only mildly rich = completely broke
And of course, has dogs that alert to intruders = has hearing dogs
etc etc. I'm sure you Lizardologists would have more and better examples
Because you are essentially a glass half empty sort of person, revelling in everything that you perceive as an obstacle. The sort of person who could be given a million pounds for nothing and be grumbling about the taxes. Happiness for you is a nice comfortable state of whining and complaining. Be grateful that life keeps giving you things to complain about. If it didn't you'd have to create them... oh, wait.
"... given the huge stress the above crisis, as well as nearly being made bankrupt, are putting me under."
ARE putting me under ?
Also, given that her dogs are barely house-trained and still attack livestock (and ramblers), I seriously doubt they are capable of being trained as hearing dogs, especially by an "animal behaviourist" with a very poor track record in noticing a horse has cataracts, and failed buisiness ventures.
"Let’s take the example of a thin woman in her 60s, who drinks a lot, who has never exercised, and who falls over and breaks her hip because of brittle bone disease, a disease that can be prevented by proper nutrition, and through ‘densercise’ – exercise that has a concussive impact, such as speed walking on pavements."
That wouldn't be her sister at all, now would it ? She's all heart... >:(
I am sure 'concussive' is not the word she was looking for. Unless she thinks exercise that knocks you out, or is otherwise violently shaking or jarring, is good for you.
ETA: "Give the fat and lazy free dogs" is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard. Not least because if there WERE such a policy LJ would be first in line to point the finger at bad owners who can't afford to give their pets M&S fine cuts and other necessities of life.
She can't be for real. What an ignorant nasty woman.
1) What she describes are not hearing dogs, they're pretty much just dogs.
2) She constantly refers to them as hearing dogs, even in situations when their title isn't relevant. Therefore, she is portraying them as equivalent to guide dogs - essential to her life - to emphasise her claims of deafness
3) We know this to be true, because a page or two back someone posted her first mention of a hearing dog was when she was whining that someone wouldn't let him in a shop even though they were supposed to let in guide dogs.
4) Comparing hearing dogs to sheepdogs is incredibly ignorant. For some types of dogs it comes to them naturally and they don't need much training, whereas hearing dogs need very extensive, costly training and also need to have special personality traits and intelligence.
5) For this reason, many deaf people would love to have a hearing dog, but unfortunately they are not available for everyone. Her claiming to have one hearing dog - let alone four - takes the piss. It might make deaf people who need a dog despair at how easy it (seemingly) is for her to get them.
6) Also, sheep dog herd sheep. A farmer not being able to herd sheep is not a disability.
7) Calling them hearing dogs because they bark at intruders is like calling yourself a mathematician because you can count. Or calling yourself a doctor because you did a first aid course.
8) A charity is entitled to be annoyed at claiming she has not one but four of their highly qualified expensive dogs.
This woman is always attention seeking and trying to make herself look more special and unusual than everyone else.
Little bit hard of hearing = Deaf.
Didn't have fashion titties = had giant pendulous boobs that had to be hacked off
Shallow and wants to be thinner = Anorexic (just as offensive to real anorexics BTW)
Didn't eat or wear animal products for a few days = vegan
Was a brunette = midnight storm hair
Only mildly rich = completely broke
And of course, has dogs that alert to intruders = has hearing dogs
etc etc. I'm sure you Lizardologists would have more and better examples
Excellent post.
Re BIB - or, because you can string a sentence together on paper, calling yourself a journalist...oh wait...
Re; the free dogs for the fat & lazy, to be scrupulously fair to the rancid old hag, it's possible that she's advocating some sort of dog-loan programme as part of the benefit system, not just give someone a free dog. Of course, that's unworkable too: however, I would applaud free literacy classes for those who pen such appalling grammar as "... given the huge stress the above crisis... are putting me under." I'm sure the former London College of Printing must be SO proud to call her an alumni.
On a lighter note, it seems La Jones has no kitchen, not even a fridge, pending the installation of a new kitchen. Which she can't afford. How, I wonder, where the peas (those peas she had to dodge in bed) cooked? In a kettle?
Bellagio's beaten me to it - I was going to say that seeing as her dogs still piss all over the place - sorry - "stress wee", and that they bugger off with the scent of lamb in their nostrils as soon as let off the lead, are we seriously expected to believe they would respond to a smoke alarm in any constructive way?
I've just realised that I own a Hearing Cat. When things go bump in the night, she wakes up on the end of my bed, all alert [then goes straight back to sleep].
As for today's stream of misery, what can I say? Hard to know where to start. I am speculating the THE CRISIS is some sort of legal issue ... or a sacking issue. Gosh, how awful, I am really really worried.
As for the Lizard using The Baker's flat, give me strength! No light in the bathroom? For God's sake, woman, BUY A BLOODY LIGHTBULB! I am well into my seventies but I am perfectly capable of picking up a 60W at a supermarket then using a stepladder, or a chair, to place said bulb in situ. Really, Lizard, you are hardly a shining example of a standard-bearer for elderly women, are you?
I've just realised that I own a Hearing Cat. When things go bump in the night, she wakes up on the end of my bed, all alert [then goes straight back to sleep].
you must demand that your disability animal must be allowed to park in disabled spaces and accompany you to the cinema and theatre ;-):D
As for today's stream of misery, what can I say? Hard to know where to start. I am speculating the THE CRISIS is some sort of legal issue ... or a sacking issue. Gosh, how awful, I am really really worried.
I am wondering if DM is letting her go - they have aldready cut back on her input to the paper and forced her out of the company flat
Her articles have definitely been more desperate recently and more obviously "click bait" to drum up controversy - also it seems the MOS only rarely allow dreary comments these days which were the main interest of her drearies
She should not have trouble working - but I fear that the days when she could command £500K+ benefits salary are over - even the DM now has journalists such as Shona Sibary and Samantha Brick writing these types of articles cheaper
As for the Lizard using The Baker's flat, give me strength! No light in the bathroom? For God's sake, woman, BUY A BLOODY LIGHTBULB! I am well into my seventies but I am perfectly capable of picking up a 60W at a supermarket then using a stepladder, or a chair, to place said bulb in situ. Really, Lizard, you are hardly a shining example of a standard-bearer for elderly women, are you?
She has severe issues - she lives in a fantasy land of contradictions as she wants to be in control yet also wants her man to take care of her - some fantasy mix of
- SATC
- Downton
- Bake-off
sometimes I think she is with the baker because of her bake-off fantasy
you must demand that your disability animal must be allowed to park in disabled spaces and accompany you to the cinema and theatre ;-):D
I am wondering if DM is letting her go - they have aldready cut back on her input to the paper and forced her out of the company flat
Her articles have definitely been more desperate recently and more obviously "click bait" to drum up controversy - also it seems the MOS only rarely allow dreary comments these days which were the main interest of her drearies
She should not have trouble working - but I fear that the days when she could command £500K+ benefits salary are over - even the DM now has journalists such as Shona Sibary and Samantha Brick writing these types of articles cheaper
She has severe issues - she lives in a fantasy land of contradictions as she wants to be in control yet also wants her man to take care of her - some fantasy mix of
- SATC
- Downton
- Bake-off
sometimes I think she is with the baker because of her bake-off fantasy
You make a good point, puffin1962. Sibary does use her kids, especially her teenage daughters, as 'column fodder', which is appalling, but hey, this is the Mail group so anything goes. As for Brick, at least she only directs mockery at herself and her husband and she doesn't insult those she considers her inferiors, as does Lizard. Also, I have to say, while I'm not overwhelmed by Sibary and Brick, at least they are able to write decent grammatical English, and compared to the spite and vengeful malice of so many of the Lizard's witterings, Shona and Samantha come across as positively pleasant!
All this no kitchen bolox. She probably has some sort of kitchen - what house wouldn't have a kitchen FFFFS? Just not A Kitchen. You know. Smegged to the eyeballs and gleaming and DAVID DON'T YOU DARE GET BAKING ON MY KITCHEN.
Why has she never mentioned she was stood up on Millenium Eve before?
Didn't her former house also have no fridge? In which case you would think it would be a priority to get one this time.
Comments
''The charity Hearing Dogs For Deaf People has complained about me describing my own four dogs as ‘hearing dogs’ because they were not trained and provided by the official organisation.
If I employ a qualified animal behaviourist to train my own collies to alert me to burglars and smoke, that’s my business.
What next, a sheep dog can’t be called a sheep dog unless trained by a charity? ''
What has my country done to deserver her visit???
God, she's an ignorant old bitch.
As it happens, I have a masters degree but I like to call it a PhD because it's the first of its kind in the country and I did so VERY much work on it that it really FEELS like a doctorate. What next, PhDs only being PhDs if they are carried out to PhD level, defended to a panel of experts and given by a recognised academic institution?
WRT Jonesey's editor defending her column: that is the editor's job. The editor MUST stand by what he/she published. Behind the scenes though he/she is a) kicking Liz up the scrawny (and, according to today's cartoon, legless) butt for her insensitivity and/or b) encouraging her to write more trollish tripe because it generates many clickthroughs. Possibly both.
1) What she describes are not hearing dogs, they're pretty much just dogs.
2) She constantly refers to them as hearing dogs, even in situations when their title isn't relevant. Therefore, she is portraying them as equivalent to guide dogs - essential to her life - to emphasise her claims of deafness
3) We know this to be true, because a page or two back someone posted her first mention of a hearing dog was when she was whining that someone wouldn't let him in a shop even though they were supposed to let in guide dogs.
4) Comparing hearing dogs to sheepdogs is incredibly ignorant. For some types of dogs it comes to them naturally and they don't need much training, whereas hearing dogs need very extensive, costly training and also need to have special personality traits and intelligence.
5) For this reason, many deaf people would love to have a hearing dog, but unfortunately they are not available for everyone. Her claiming to have one hearing dog - let alone four - takes the piss. It might make deaf people who need a dog despair at how easy it (seemingly) is for her to get them.
6) Also, sheep dog herd sheep. A farmer not being able to herd sheep is not a disability.
7) Calling them hearing dogs because they bark at intruders is like calling yourself a mathematician because you can count. Or calling yourself a doctor because you did a first aid course.
8) A charity is entitled to be annoyed at claiming she has not one but four of their highly qualified expensive dogs.
This woman is always attention seeking and trying to make herself look more special and unusual than everyone else.
Little bit hard of hearing = Deaf.
Didn't have fashion titties = had giant pendulous boobs that had to be hacked off
Shallow and wants to be thinner = Anorexic (just as offensive to real anorexics BTW)
Didn't eat or wear animal products for a few days = vegan
Was a brunette = midnight storm hair
Only mildly rich = completely broke
And of course, has dogs that alert to intruders = has hearing dogs
etc etc. I'm sure you Lizardologists would have more and better examples
Because you are essentially a glass half empty sort of person, revelling in everything that you perceive as an obstacle. The sort of person who could be given a million pounds for nothing and be grumbling about the taxes. Happiness for you is a nice comfortable state of whining and complaining. Be grateful that life keeps giving you things to complain about. If it didn't you'd have to create them... oh, wait.
ARE putting me under ?
Also, given that her dogs are barely house-trained and still attack livestock (and ramblers), I seriously doubt they are capable of being trained as hearing dogs, especially by an "animal behaviourist" with a very poor track record in noticing a horse has cataracts, and failed buisiness ventures.
"Let’s take the example of a thin woman in her 60s, who drinks a lot, who has never exercised, and who falls over and breaks her hip because of brittle bone disease, a disease that can be prevented by proper nutrition, and through ‘densercise’ – exercise that has a concussive impact, such as speed walking on pavements."
That wouldn't be her sister at all, now would it ? She's all heart... >:(
"Dogs, I believe, make people nicer, too."
Liz Jones has four dogs.
ETA: "Give the fat and lazy free dogs" is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard. Not least because if there WERE such a policy LJ would be first in line to point the finger at bad owners who can't afford to give their pets M&S fine cuts and other necessities of life.
Excellent post.
Re BIB - or, because you can string a sentence together on paper, calling yourself a journalist...oh wait...
Perhaps the Baker has constructed a rustic outdoor barbecue out of artisanal bricks and an antique silver tray.
As for today's stream of misery, what can I say? Hard to know where to start. I am speculating the THE CRISIS is some sort of legal issue ... or a sacking issue. Gosh, how awful, I am really really worried.
As for the Lizard using The Baker's flat, give me strength! No light in the bathroom? For God's sake, woman, BUY A BLOODY LIGHTBULB! I am well into my seventies but I am perfectly capable of picking up a 60W at a supermarket then using a stepladder, or a chair, to place said bulb in situ. Really, Lizard, you are hardly a shining example of a standard-bearer for elderly women, are you?
.... and yet she complained about the baker not baking her a full bake-offesque birthday cake in the non-existant kitchen
you must demand that your disability animal must be allowed to park in disabled spaces and accompany you to the cinema and theatre ;-):D
I am wondering if DM is letting her go - they have aldready cut back on her input to the paper and forced her out of the company flat
Her articles have definitely been more desperate recently and more obviously "click bait" to drum up controversy - also it seems the MOS only rarely allow dreary comments these days which were the main interest of her drearies
She should not have trouble working - but I fear that the days when she could command £500K+ benefits salary are over - even the DM now has journalists such as Shona Sibary and Samantha Brick writing these types of articles cheaper
She has severe issues - she lives in a fantasy land of contradictions as she wants to be in control yet also wants her man to take care of her - some fantasy mix of
- SATC
- Downton
- Bake-off
sometimes I think she is with the baker because of her bake-off fantasy
You make a good point, puffin1962. Sibary does use her kids, especially her teenage daughters, as 'column fodder', which is appalling, but hey, this is the Mail group so anything goes. As for Brick, at least she only directs mockery at herself and her husband and she doesn't insult those she considers her inferiors, as does Lizard. Also, I have to say, while I'm not overwhelmed by Sibary and Brick, at least they are able to write decent grammatical English, and compared to the spite and vengeful malice of so many of the Lizard's witterings, Shona and Samantha come across as positively pleasant!
What's wrong with lard anyway?
I think she's more likely to be referring to heating oil that she can't afford, therefore no hot water for a bath...
Didn't her former house also have no fridge? In which case you would think it would be a priority to get one this time.