My Violent Child

CrazyLoopCrazyLoop Posts: 31,148
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Anyone watching?
Helplines receive more than 11,000 calls a year from people being physically abused in their own homes by their children. This documentary follows three families as the adults struggle to cope with the youngsters' complex behavioural issues while also being forced to ask themselves what they could be doing differently
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  • anteroantero Posts: 5,547
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    I am! It's all very Jekyll and Hyde
  • CrazyLoopCrazyLoop Posts: 31,148
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    It certainly is, I feel sorry for the parents having to deal with this :(
  • anteroantero Posts: 5,547
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    Grand Theft Auto 5 is not something I think is suitable for a child. I'm never one to be a prude about these things but as someone who has played it, it's just too violent. Not to mention, it teaches horrible attitudes towards women.
  • OldnjadedOldnjaded Posts: 89,126
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    Must be almost impossible to live like that.

    I saw Bobbi on This Morning today - it took years but JJ was finally diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder and she's getting some sort of help now, which has helped a lot.
  • TrevorFowlerTrevorFowler Posts: 170
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    CrazyLoop wrote: »
    It certainly is, I feel sorry for the parents having to deal with this :(

    To a degree, they have precipitated this. Giving in to their precious/prince/princess's every demand because they fear that if they don't they will not love them any more.
  • Super FrogSuper Frog Posts: 11,480
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    That woman looks like she's on the brink.
  • myssmyss Posts: 16,457
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    antero wrote: »
    Grand Theft Auto 5 is not something I think is suitable for a child. I'm never one to be a prude about these things but as someone who has played it, it's just too violent. Not to mention, it teaches horrible attitudes towards women.
    And at 7 as well!! And they wonder why their kids act like that.
    To a degree, they have precipitated this. Giving in to their precious/prince/princess's every demand because they fear that if they don't they will not love them any more.
    Agreed. I wouldn't get away with even an iota of that with my parents, and my kids never did either. Any hand of theirs that came my way was returned with an instruction or punishment that it would be the last time.
  • CrazyLoopCrazyLoop Posts: 31,148
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    antero wrote: »
    Grand Theft Auto 5 is not something I think is suitable for a child. I'm never one to be a prude about these things but as someone who has played it, it's just too violent. Not to mention, it teaches horrible attitudes towards women.
    I agree, I was shocked at that and it just reintrates the behavior.
    Oldnjaded wrote: »
    Must be almost impossible to live like that.

    I saw Bobbi on This Morning today - it took years but JJ was finally diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder and she's getting some sort of help now, which has helped a lot.
    Ah that's really good, I saw that she was on there but couldn't watch.
    To a degree, they have precipitated this. Giving in to their precious/prince/princess's every demand because they fear that if they don't they will not love them any more.
    It doesn't help certainly.
  • CrazyLoopCrazyLoop Posts: 31,148
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    Super Frog wrote: »
    That woman looks like she's on the brink.
    Of suicide? I think so :(
  • OldnjadedOldnjaded Posts: 89,126
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    Useless tosser of a father, blaming it on the mother and doing nothing to help out. >:(>:(
  • anteroantero Posts: 5,547
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    ADHD, ODD, OCD and Aspergers? 😱
  • TrevorFowlerTrevorFowler Posts: 170
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    Oldnjaded wrote: »
    Useless tosser of a father, blaming it on the mother and doing nothing to help out. >:(>:(
    Maybe the mother chucked him out, prevented access etc. We don't know.

    ... and since when is a hyphen a letter - J-J indeed. I see problems with online forms for a start.
  • CrazyLoopCrazyLoop Posts: 31,148
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    Oldnjaded wrote: »
    Useless tosser of a father, blaming it on the mother and doing nothing to help out. >:(>:(
    I thought that =\
    antero wrote: »
    ADHD, ODD, OCD and Aspergers? 😱
    What's your question :)
  • myssmyss Posts: 16,457
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    Oh my days, the boy is probably hearing the others are laughing at what he's doing, it's just spurring him on.
  • Emma_HenveyEmma_Henvey Posts: 9,895
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    This is why I'm not having kids.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3
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    Pretty sad that Frankie's mum gets no help but rather is filmed and laughed at while being attacked.

    That said, she has let him do what he wants and has not helped the situation with threats of violence herself and allowing him to play GTA.
  • Terry WigonTerry Wigon Posts: 6,831
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    I don't know what the eating arrangements in these homes are generally, but a healthy balanced diet, exercise and some kind of proper bed routine may help.

    Just saw the footage of the mum getting attacked by her son and the father sitting next to her on the sofa, laughing. He's learning disrespect from the dad, I think, and doing it all the more because the dad is amused by it. It's a way of getting his approval and acceptance.

    The father also blamed the mother's side of the family for the child's poor behaviour. I think he should look in the mirror and support the mother of his child!
  • OldnjadedOldnjaded Posts: 89,126
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    Pretty sad that Frankie's mum gets no help but rather is filmed and laughed at while being attacked.

    That said, she has let him do what he wants and has not helped the situation with threats of violence herself and allowing him to play GTA.
    This is why she needs help so badly. It's way past the stage where she can change anything on her own. :(
  • CrazyLoopCrazyLoop Posts: 31,148
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    Yes the laughing will only encourage the behavior :(
  • myssmyss Posts: 16,457
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    Exactly. He's learnt a routine where he can get what he wants. The council woman speaks some sense!
  • CrazyLoopCrazyLoop Posts: 31,148
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    That's so sad she thinks that it's her faults from a child that he is the way he is :(
  • MirageMirage Posts: 39,247
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    I am finding this programme tough to watch, as I feel I have walked in their shoes.

    Years ago my youngest son was acting a bit similar to these kids. The lack of help was laughable. Before he reached his peak, I marched him down to Social Services because nobody was listening to me and I was at the end of my tether. They spoke to him and sent us away and didn't offer any further help. The school was only concerned with how he acted at school. He tried to stab a boy with a fork and they called me in to the office and told him off. I said I was trying to get us help, but again no help came from them. a couple of years passed and we lived on permanent eggshells in our house. The day came when he pulled a knife on my husband. We called the police on him and they asked if we wanted him arrested. We couldn't go through with it, but it seemed to shock him a bit and though he was still prone to tempers, he stayed in his room and we never went near him.

    He's 21 now and just been diagnosed with Dyspraxia, which really should have been detected and tested for years ago.
  • Anya DAnya D Posts: 14,828
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    Seems that the social workers are looking to blame JJ's behaviour on his mother's OCD.

    I'm not a believer in the idea that if I tell my child to do something I should just wait for him to do it in his own time.
  • OldnjadedOldnjaded Posts: 89,126
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    Mirage wrote: »
    I am finding this programme tough to watch, as I feel I have walked in their shoes.

    Years ago my youngest son was acting a bit similar to these kids. The lack of help was laughable. Before he reached his peak, I marched him down to Social Services because nobody was listening to me and I was at the end of my tether. They spoke to him and sent us away and didn't offer any further help. The school was only concerned with how he acted at school. He tried to stab a boy with a fork and they called me in to the office and told him off. I said I was trying to get us help, but again no help came from them. a couple of years passed and we lived on permanent eggshells in our house. The day came when he pulled a knife on my husband. We called the police on him and they asked if we wanted him arrested. We couldn't go through with it, but it seemed to shock him a bit and though he was still prone to tempers, he stayed in his room and we never went near him.

    He's 21 now and just been diagnosed with Dyspraxia, which really should have been detected and tested for years ago.
    It must have been a total nightmare for you, Mirage - I have no idea how you got through it. That's the trouble though - it's much easier for the authorities just to label kids like that as 'naughty', kick them out of school and blame the parents rather than looking into it more deeply and offering help. :(
  • MirageMirage Posts: 39,247
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    Oldnjaded wrote: »
    It must have been a total nightmare for you, Mirage - I have no idea how you got through it. That's the trouble though - it's much easier for the authorities just to label kids like that as 'naughty', kick them out of school and blame the parents rather than looking into it more deeply and offering help. :(

    It was a massive struggle and believe me, there were quite a few times I wished I could stop the world and get off the merry-go-round of life. As I say he is now 21 and coming up to 22 and we get on great now. He lives away from home, but he still comes to us if he has any problems. So it does get better, it's just hell living through it.

    Best thing JJ's mum said was letting him go to his room and waiting for him to cool off. Exactly what we used to do with our son and he would calm down much faster and would come to us when he was ready.
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