In a wacky attempt to rescue the floundering Big Brother Series this years ALL MALE housemates will have to wear a variety of vintage Laura Ashley numbers! Viewing figure hit an all time low of 45 pensioners, but this year Executives are sure this summer's programming is destined to be a hit.
"We have some AMAZING surprises this year! Not only is it an all male house, but the boys will be in wacky dresses that they will have to change every 20 seconds in order to avoid eviction!"
If this seems too easy, ex-housemate sex bomb Penny will ping rubber bands at the housmates from over the garden wall in an attempt to thwart their attempts to change dresses against the clock!
"Without giving too much away there may be a surprise twist in week 8 involving a hermetically sealed secret room, 75 giant squid and a guest appearance from Robson and Jerome"
This year promises to be THE Big Brother experience, projected to pull in viewing figures of 75million world wide. We'll keep you up to date with all the latest happenings!
There is to be an alarming twist to Big Brother this year, producers are so worried about the fall in ratings last year that they have decided to revamp the entire show.
An insider today revealed that all the new Housemates will infact be OAP'S, he went on to say that the younger generation have messed things up so badly in past series that the producers declined to even consider anyone under 75, he also went on to say that the tasks would involve, who could throw the zimmer frame the furthest, and the best one of all, who could chew a pack of chewing gum the longest minus their false teeth, the winner of this one would be rewarded with a nine carat gold set of teeth and immunity from evictions for two weeks, and the losers would have the job of emptying the communial bedpans.
With launch night only a week away the nation waits with baited breath, should prove to be the best series ever.
CUNNING Big Brother bosses have installed an extra special addition to this years house, the Daily Star can reveal.
The WANNABE housemates will be in for a shock when the first twist is revealed, the house will sprout four mechanically operated legs and will spend the first two weeks of the show walking to Scotland.
A show insider last night told us "It will be the ultimate shock, they will never expect this. There will be many shocks and turns this year and this is just one of them"
We can also reveal that on the way to Scotland SNEAKY Big Brother bosses will make some of the walls fall down when the sexy babes are showering or are on the toilet in the hope that they will show their assets to the public.
It is rumoured that sexy BB6 contestant Makosi (Pictured topless) will appear this year, fans and bosses are hoping that she will spice the house up by having relationships with some of the male housemates, like she did in BB6 with Anthony Hutton.
A SHOCKING TWIST awaits in this Big Brother's house for the male contestants.
YUMMY MUMMY Davina McCall will have sex with every male housemate in the hope of having the first BIG BROTHER baby. The housemate that gets Davina PREGNANT will be exempt from all nominations.
Our insider told us this morning "The guys won't be able to believe it, not only will they get to BONK Davina but will be up for the chance of complete immunity."
Sneaky Big Brother bosses has lined up a TOP SECRET room in the house which will act as a nursery for the baby and the housemates will have to perform tasks lined up such as preparing nappies to assembling a cot in under ten minutes. In a SEXY TWIST the female housemates will have to breastfeed piglets around the clock for a week. What lucky pigs!
Shock as Star uses words with more than three syllables, with absolutely NOTHING (oops) in capitals, bold, italics or underlined.
Following a ruling by the Press Complaints Commission, the Daily Star has been instructed to increase its average reading age from 7 to 9. This followed reports from Accident and Emergency Departments of readers injuring themselves while trying to hold the newspaper with one hand while doing something unspeakable with the other.
[pic of Chanelle’s tits here]
Budgets have been slashed big time
Housemates will just have to make do with a large tent in the middle of a rain-soaked field this year.
The model / pop princess / beauty queen hopefuls have already complained about a lack of 'wellington' room in their suitcases
Big Brother bosses have promised viewers a sizzling line up of hotties, hunks, and Oldies. The hotties will have you panting, the hunks will have you drooling and the oldies will have you retching...
Bosses have installed a sex den complete with a hot tub, water bed, candles, toys and champagne to get them in the mood. We will be watching there every move and so will you. To earn the privelege of this luxury they will be competing in tasks of brains, brawn, and beauty. Im sure were all hoping its the hotties or hunks that win the prize, it wont be a pretty sight if its the oldies that win. Heres hoping they request a nice bed, knitting and a cup of tea instead....
The Daily Star can exclusively reveal that all constentants will be those with a PhD in hopes to stimulate discussions on topics like war, religion and politics. BB executives hope that housemates will band together through communication and co-operation to solve the worlds problems! as well as their weekly shopping tasks.
One BB insider says: "This seriously will be mind-blowing stuff with live re-enactments of popular conflicts and economic crises meaning that the housemates will be able to brain storm and suggest strategm for future political and economic unbecomings."
However Danielle Lloyd, fittest bird in the Universe had this to say: "What? I dunno, I mean BB was like, something massive innit...um yeah here are my tits" [picture of Danielle Loyd in some Ann Summer's undewear]
HOWEVER, the Daily Star reports from an insider that there is a shocking twist to this years BB, all the academics are just porn stars given quick courses in knowledge and SATs.
Rather than a house full of whole-wits and people who are actually interesting to watch rather than fame-hungry idiots there will be five secret rooms where the housemates can bonk and romp on camera
Including a special SEX igloo filled with condoms, champagne, sex toys and brook advisory leaflets
Our insider said; "1 million billion trillion pounds is being offered by the Sun, the Star and the Sport for the first couple [pending not bloke-on-bloke, we want titties!] to romp on BB"
The Daily Mail would counter that offer for the first footage of the moral decline of Britain
In a bid to create ratings that are out of this world, BB insiders are telling the DS that they are going to extraordinary new lengths to create some sexy shenanigans this year... but with a twist.
The DS can reveal that BB bosses have created an EXTRATERRESTRIAL breeding room where the critters can frollick and romp to their hearts content.
"We understand that we have to go to new lengths to grab the viewers attention this year. We've created a UFO landing pad in the garden and are really hoping some sparks will happen."
BB critics recently launched a scathing attack on host Davina McAll, 52, and her airbrushed promotion photographs. Now insiders are saying these photographs contain a hint at the new seasons' most shocking twist of all. In a further twist, Davina Mcall, 40, has been impregnated with an aliens baby which she plans to give birth to... on air.
Our source can now exclusively reveal that Top of the Strops Manic Midget Nikki Grahame, has been approached by BB bosses to coach ALL 16 contestants to the BB9 house.
"I can't believe it" said a stunned Nikki, "It all happened purely by chance". Pressed for more details by our intrepid investigator Nikki went on to explain:
"I received a letter from BB Bosses saying they were not using the usual Limo's to transport the contestants to the House this year, and as I now had a Bus, would I be interested in Coaching them to the House in one job lot".
Sensing a SCOOP,our ever resourceful insider pressed Nikki for an explanation as to how she had come to be the proud owner of a Bus.
"I was just exiting my office at OK after a hard week preparing my column, when I happened to mention being interested in a new Bust. Unbeknown to me, my PA, who was following a few steps behind, had made a note in my diary. Imagine my surprise when I opened the curtains of my flat on the Monday morning to be greeted by a brand spanking new 22 seater Bus parked outside my door!".
Nikkis PA refused to comment but a friend stated it was a genuine mistake which can happen to the bust of us. The Pa also wished it to be made clear that any mention he may have made about "Checking on Nikkis puppies" was a reference to her two Chihuahuas and not her Bust.
Nikki said afterwards "I forgave him, but not before I had checked my other diary entries. I was concerned because I had received an invitation to join Ziggy for a days shooting on a country Estate at the weekend. After the mix up with Bust and Bus I wanted to make sure the "H" had been included in the word "pHeasants" in my reply so there would be no confusion over what the targets would be".
Editors note:
A close friend of our insiders source has since revealed that guests were in fact invited to a CLAY PIGEON shoot on the day in question. Ms Grahame is believed to have requested several brace of the plumpest CLAYS be delivered to her home to be used as face packs.
No pHeasants were harmed in the making of this news item
Peter Dyke is a member of the main forum I visit we have in past years planted a couple of stories which got into the DS the main one being Freddy Starr signed for celeb big brother
Comments
In a wacky attempt to rescue the floundering Big Brother Series this years ALL MALE housemates will have to wear a variety of vintage Laura Ashley numbers! Viewing figure hit an all time low of 45 pensioners, but this year Executives are sure this summer's programming is destined to be a hit.
"We have some AMAZING surprises this year! Not only is it an all male house, but the boys will be in wacky dresses that they will have to change every 20 seconds in order to avoid eviction!"
If this seems too easy, ex-housemate sex bomb Penny will ping rubber bands at the housmates from over the garden wall in an attempt to thwart their attempts to change dresses against the clock!
"Without giving too much away there may be a surprise twist in week 8 involving a hermetically sealed secret room, 75 giant squid and a guest appearance from Robson and Jerome"
This year promises to be THE Big Brother experience, projected to pull in viewing figures of 75million world wide. We'll keep you up to date with all the latest happenings!
An insider today revealed that all the new Housemates will infact be OAP'S, he went on to say that the younger generation have messed things up so badly in past series that the producers declined to even consider anyone under 75, he also went on to say that the tasks would involve, who could throw the zimmer frame the furthest, and the best one of all, who could chew a pack of chewing gum the longest minus their false teeth, the winner of this one would be rewarded with a nine carat gold set of teeth and immunity from evictions for two weeks, and the losers would have the job of emptying the communial bedpans.
With launch night only a week away the nation waits with baited breath, should prove to be the best series ever.
CUNNING Big Brother bosses have installed an extra special addition to this years house, the Daily Star can reveal.
The WANNABE housemates will be in for a shock when the first twist is revealed, the house will sprout four mechanically operated legs and will spend the first two weeks of the show walking to Scotland.
A show insider last night told us "It will be the ultimate shock, they will never expect this. There will be many shocks and turns this year and this is just one of them"
We can also reveal that on the way to Scotland SNEAKY Big Brother bosses will make some of the walls fall down when the sexy babes are showering or are on the toilet in the hope that they will show their assets to the public.
It is rumoured that sexy BB6 contestant Makosi (Pictured topless) will appear this year, fans and bosses are hoping that she will spice the house up by having relationships with some of the male housemates, like she did in BB6 with Anthony Hutton.
A SHOCKING TWIST awaits in this Big Brother's house for the male contestants.
YUMMY MUMMY Davina McCall will have sex with every male housemate in the hope of having the first BIG BROTHER baby. The housemate that gets Davina PREGNANT will be exempt from all nominations.
Our insider told us this morning "The guys won't be able to believe it, not only will they get to BONK Davina but will be up for the chance of complete immunity."
Sneaky Big Brother bosses has lined up a TOP SECRET room in the house which will act as a nursery for the baby and the housemates will have to perform tasks lined up such as preparing nappies to assembling a cot in under ten minutes. In a SEXY TWIST the female housemates will have to breastfeed piglets around the clock for a week. What lucky pigs!
Following a ruling by the Press Complaints Commission, the Daily Star has been instructed to increase its average reading age from 7 to 9. This followed reports from Accident and Emergency Departments of readers injuring themselves while trying to hold the newspaper with one hand while doing something unspeakable with the other.
[pic of Chanelle’s tits here]
Housemates will just have to make do with a large tent in the middle of a rain-soaked field this year.
The model / pop princess / beauty queen hopefuls have already complained about a lack of 'wellington' room in their suitcases
PS - rain is in the forecast
Big Brother bosses have promised viewers a sizzling line up of hotties, hunks, and Oldies. The hotties will have you panting, the hunks will have you drooling and the oldies will have you retching...
Bosses have installed a sex den complete with a hot tub, water bed, candles, toys and champagne to get them in the mood. We will be watching there every move and so will you. To earn the privelege of this luxury they will be competing in tasks of brains, brawn, and beauty. Im sure were all hoping its the hotties or hunks that win the prize, it wont be a pretty sight if its the oldies that win. Heres hoping they request a nice bed, knitting and a cup of tea instead....
The Daily Star can exclusively reveal that all constentants will be those with a PhD in hopes to stimulate discussions on topics like war, religion and politics. BB executives hope that housemates will band together through communication and co-operation to solve the worlds problems! as well as their weekly shopping tasks.
One BB insider says: "This seriously will be mind-blowing stuff with live re-enactments of popular conflicts and economic crises meaning that the housemates will be able to brain storm and suggest strategm for future political and economic unbecomings."
However Danielle Lloyd, fittest bird in the Universe had this to say: "What? I dunno, I mean BB was like, something massive innit...um yeah here are my tits" [picture of Danielle Loyd in some Ann Summer's undewear]
HOWEVER, the Daily Star reports from an insider that there is a shocking twist to this years BB, all the academics are just porn stars given quick courses in knowledge and SATs.
Rather than a house full of whole-wits and people who are actually interesting to watch rather than fame-hungry idiots there will be five secret rooms where the housemates can bonk and romp on camera
Including a special SEX igloo filled with condoms, champagne, sex toys and brook advisory leaflets
Our insider said; "1 million billion trillion pounds is being offered by the Sun, the Star and the Sport for the first couple [pending not bloke-on-bloke, we want titties!] to romp on BB"
The Daily Mail would counter that offer for the first footage of the moral decline of Britain
In a bid to create ratings that are out of this world, BB insiders are telling the DS that they are going to extraordinary new lengths to create some sexy shenanigans this year... but with a twist.
The DS can reveal that BB bosses have created an EXTRATERRESTRIAL breeding room where the critters can frollick and romp to their hearts content.
"We understand that we have to go to new lengths to grab the viewers attention this year. We've created a UFO landing pad in the garden and are really hoping some sparks will happen."
BB critics recently launched a scathing attack on host Davina McAll, 52, and her airbrushed promotion photographs. Now insiders are saying these photographs contain a hint at the new seasons' most shocking twist of all. In a further twist, Davina Mcall, 40, has been impregnated with an aliens baby which she plans to give birth to... on air.
"I can't believe it" said a stunned Nikki, "It all happened purely by chance". Pressed for more details by our intrepid investigator Nikki went on to explain:
"I received a letter from BB Bosses saying they were not using the usual Limo's to transport the contestants to the House this year, and as I now had a Bus, would I be interested in Coaching them to the House in one job lot".
Sensing a SCOOP,our ever resourceful insider pressed Nikki for an explanation as to how she had come to be the proud owner of a Bus.
"I was just exiting my office at OK after a hard week preparing my column, when I happened to mention being interested in a new Bust. Unbeknown to me, my PA, who was following a few steps behind, had made a note in my diary. Imagine my surprise when I opened the curtains of my flat on the Monday morning to be greeted by a brand spanking new 22 seater Bus parked outside my door!".
Nikkis PA refused to comment but a friend stated it was a genuine mistake which can happen to the bust of us. The Pa also wished it to be made clear that any mention he may have made about "Checking on Nikkis puppies" was a reference to her two Chihuahuas and not her Bust.
Nikki said afterwards "I forgave him, but not before I had checked my other diary entries. I was concerned because I had received an invitation to join Ziggy for a days shooting on a country Estate at the weekend. After the mix up with Bust and Bus I wanted to make sure the "H" had been included in the word "pHeasants" in my reply so there would be no confusion over what the targets would be".
Editors note:
A close friend of our insiders source has since revealed that guests were in fact invited to a CLAY PIGEON shoot on the day in question. Ms Grahame is believed to have requested several brace of the plumpest CLAYS be delivered to her home to be used as face packs.
No pHeasants were harmed in the making of this news item
Trisexual to enter the House
Is that the old old joke of being someone that tries anything
through all the game threads
I think we could get at least 38 threads out of this one