Sending a Mother's Day card.....but not to mum cards.

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  • Jambo_cJambo_c Posts: 4,672
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    It's absolutely ridiculous, the only acceptable time is for people raised by other people so you may send a card that says something like "You're like a mum to me", people who send loads to all different family members are just bizarre. It's a day to treat your own mum, not half your extended family. As for people who send any kind of card to animals, they're clearly deranged.

    I can't ever recall seeing all these cards when I was younger, there just used to be a full rack of cards to Mum, Mummy, Mother etc, now there's half a rack that are actually for Mum and half the rack's for aunties or grannies or cats.

    The worst thing I saw in the card shop was "Happy Mothers Day from Bump". Seriously? Your sending yourself a card from a partially developed foetus growing inside you? Now that is seriously insane!
  • Rich Tea.Rich Tea. Posts: 22,048
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    kkman wrote: »
    So I stumbled on this today and I am really glad to see others' opinions...
    What do you think of this?
    Myself and my husband left our 4 month old baby to be minded by the grandparents for the weekend as we had a social outing to attend.
    When I rang to check on my baby on Sunday, I was told by a very excited Granny that my 'baby' (i.e. her 70 year old husband) went and bought her a card for Mother's Day.
    She then went to read me the card from my baby that listed how wonderfully she was looking after him. Then she told me she was celebrating 'her' day with a glass of champagne.
    I let her share her excitement with me on the phone and then asked, did my baby 'buy' a card for his real mom as well. She started giggling and think got quite embarrassed by the question.
    What do you think I should do?
    I don't want this to be a yearly occurrence, I think she should be celebrating cards from her actual baby (my 30 year old husband) rather than mine. Or should I let her celebrate Mother's Day with my child and let this become a thing? I struggle to understand why would her husband not think of getting me a Mother's Day card seeing that he went to a shop to get one for his wife...
    I would appreciate your thoughts...
    Speaking for myself I do find that kind of behaviour rather odd. Well meaning it might be, but still odd. Clearly you also do and in that case you ought to make sure it does not become an annual ritual. Your husband should send, if he wants to, a card to his mum on the day in question. But your young child to his grandmother? No, and nobody should buy one on his behalf to do so. So the grandmother received a card from your child but you as the actual mother did not get one which rather compounds the issue.

    In the end this is just a card industry ploy to sell ever more greetings cards and it seems some people, my brother included, just fall for it.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2
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    Rich Tea. wrote: »
    Speaking for myself I do find that kind of behaviour rather odd. Well meaning it might be, but still odd. Clearly you also do and in that case you ought to make sure it does not become an annual ritual. Your husband should send, if he wants to, a card to his mum on the day in question. But your young child to his grandmother? No, and nobody should buy one on his behalf to do so. So the grandmother received a card from your child but you as the actual mother did not get one which rather compounds the issue.

    In the end this is just a card industry ploy to sell ever more greetings cards and it seems some people, my brother included, just fall for it.

    Thanks for your words on this... It actually helps make feel I am not the one with the issue.
    I fond it quite hurtful and think it's weird of them to do it and need to somehow put a stop to it...
  • flowerpowaflowerpowa Posts: 24,386
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    johnny_t wrote: »
    About 40 years ago, there was a childless couple lived down the street from us. My Mum made me and my brothers make her a Mothers' Day Card 'from their dog'. I think she was being kind...
    You sound like you had a lovely Mum.
  • Toby LaRhoneToby LaRhone Posts: 12,916
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    Jambo_c wrote: »
    It's absolutely ridiculous, the only acceptable time is for .....
    Bloody hell!
    We have what are described as "self appointed mods" on here and now we have self appointed "Mother's Day Inspectors" determining the "only acceptable" time a card can be sent.
    If someone wants to sent another person a card what is there to get worked up about?
    Get over yourselves.
  • TrollHunterTrollHunter Posts: 12,496
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    I bought my wife a Mother's Day card because she's a great mother. I also bought her one from our 2 year old daughter because my daughter doesn't have the mental capacity nor physical abilities to buy one herself.

    Just checking this is ok so i can be prepared for next year ;)
  • Jambo_cJambo_c Posts: 4,672
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    Bloody hell!
    We have what are described as "self appointed mods" on here and now we have self appointed "Mother's Day Inspectors" determining the "only acceptable" time a card can be sent.
    If someone wants to sent another person a card what is there to get worked up about?
    Get over yourselves.

    What? The OP asked for peoples opinions on it and my opinion is that it's ridiculous and in my opinion the only time I find it acceptable to send a Mothers day card to someone who isn't your mother is in the situation I stated. What is wrong with that? You might find it acceptable to send a Mothers Day card to everyone in your family, it's called differing opinions. Why do I need to "get over myself" because I find something ridiculous? I'm not getting worked up, I just find it all a bit silly, Mothers Day is for treating your Mum (or, in my opinion, a Mum figure if you don't have a Mum) not for buying cards for aunties, grannies, dogs and hamsters.
  • exlordlucanexlordlucan Posts: 35,375
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    What about people raised by other family members?

    For example my best friend at school wss raised by his Grand Parents after his own Mum abandoned him so why not get her a card.
    Did you send her one?
  • RorschachRorschach Posts: 10,818
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    kkman wrote: »
    I struggle to understand why would her husband not think of getting me a Mother's Day card seeing that he went to a shop to get one for his wife...
    I would appreciate your thoughts...
    It is not your father-in-laws responsibility to buy you a card on behalf of your toddler, that's down to your husband. I'm sure your father-in-law assumed, if he gave it any thought at all, that your husband would have already sorted one out. I mean it's not like we get issued a husband/father handbook but that's just something us men just pick up on isn't it?

    Would you like your Father-in-law to get you a valentine card, just in case your husband doesn't bother/forgets? 😀
  • EvieJEvieJ Posts: 5,964
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    kkman wrote: »
    So I stumbled on this today and I am really glad to see others' opinions...
    What do you think of this?
    Myself and my husband left our 4 month old baby to be minded by the grandparents for the weekend as we had a social outing to attend.
    When I rang to check on my baby on Sunday, I was told by a very excited Granny that my 'baby' (i.e. her 70 year old husband) went and bought her a card for Mother's Day.
    She then went to read me the card from my baby that listed how wonderfully she was looking after him. Then she told me she was celebrating 'her' day with a glass of champagne.
    I let her share her excitement with me on the phone and then asked, did my baby 'buy' a card for his real mom as well. She started giggling and think got quite embarrassed by the question.
    What do you think I should do?
    I don't want this to be a yearly occurrence, I think she should be celebrating cards from her actual baby (my 30 year old husband) rather than mine. Or should I let her celebrate Mother's Day with my child and let this become a thing? I struggle to understand why would her husband not think of getting me a Mother's Day card seeing that he went to a shop to get one for his wife...
    I would appreciate your thoughts...

    I don't think your FIL should have got you a card (bit weird) but no, you shouldn't let this become a "thing" and although its nice that they're close to baby, to actually assume your position on such a day is not on really. What does your husband think to it, did he send his mum a card from himself?
  • PoppySeedPoppySeed Posts: 2,483
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    Rorschach wrote: »

    Would you like your Father-in-law to get you a valentine card, just in case your husband doesn't bother/forgets? 😀

    That made me laugh :D
  • Penny CrayonPenny Crayon Posts: 36,158
    Forum Member
    kkman wrote: »
    So I stumbled on this today and I am really glad to see others' opinions...
    What do you think of this?
    Myself and my husband left our 4 month old baby to be minded by the grandparents for the weekend as we had a social outing to attend.
    When I rang to check on my baby on Sunday, I was told by a very excited Granny that my 'baby' (i.e. her 70 year old husband) went and bought her a card for Mother's Day.
    She then went to read me the card from my baby that listed how wonderfully she was looking after him. Then she told me she was celebrating 'her' day with a glass of champagne.
    I let her share her excitement with me on the phone and then asked, did my baby 'buy' a card for his real mom as well. She started giggling and think got quite embarrassed by the question.
    What do you think I should do?
    I don't want this to be a yearly occurrence, I think she should be celebrating cards from her actual baby (my 30 year old husband) rather than mine. Or should I let her celebrate Mother's Day with my child and let this become a thing? I struggle to understand why would her husband not think of getting me a Mother's Day card seeing that he went to a shop to get one for his wife...
    I would appreciate your thoughts...

    I think it was quite a 'nice' thing for the granddad to do being that the babies grandmother was actually doing the 'mothering' that day.

    I would think it's up to your husband to buy a mothers day card for you from your baby and to also buy one for his own mother.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,852
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    I think it was quite a 'nice' thing for the granddad to do being that the babies grandmother was actually doing the 'mothering' that day.

    I would think it's up to your husband to buy a mothers day card for you from your baby and to also buy one for his own mother.

    ^^ agree with this
  • ChocolateCheeseChocolateCheese Posts: 3,537
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    30+ years ago I used to send one to my Grandma and Great Grandma

    I've always done the same with my nanna and we never found it weird.
  • FanielleFanielle Posts: 1,251
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    I always sent a card to my nana on Mother's Day and my grandad on Father's Day. And we send our parents Mother's Day/Father's Day cards from our son.

    I don't think my mum has ever felt less mum like or important because I also sent a card to my nana, it was just a way for me to show my nana how much I loved her, how much I appreciated her and how much I thought of her
  • RandomSallyRandomSally Posts: 7,068
    Forum Member
    kkman wrote: »
    So I stumbled on this today and I am really glad to see others' opinions...
    What do you think of this?
    Myself and my husband left our 4 month old baby to be minded by the grandparents for the weekend as we had a social outing to attend.
    When I rang to check on my baby on Sunday, I was told by a very excited Granny that my 'baby' (i.e. her 70 year old husband) went and bought her a card for Mother's Day.
    She then went to read me the card from my baby that listed how wonderfully she was looking after him. Then she told me she was celebrating 'her' day with a glass of champagne.
    I let her share her excitement with me on the phone and then asked, did my baby 'buy' a card for his real mom as well. She started giggling and think got quite embarrassed by the question.
    What do you think I should do?
    I don't want this to be a yearly occurrence, I think she should be celebrating cards from her actual baby (my 30 year old husband) rather than mine. Or should I let her celebrate Mother's Day with my child and let this become a thing? I struggle to understand why would her husband not think of getting me a Mother's Day card seeing that he went to a shop to get one for his wife...
    I would appreciate your thoughts...

    Your husband should get a card for you.
    You left the baby with them for the weekend and begrudge her a card. You sound selfish and uncaring.
  • RandomSallyRandomSally Posts: 7,068
    Forum Member
    kkman wrote: »
    Thanks for your words on this... It actually helps make feel I am not the one with the issue.
    I fond it quite hurtful and think it's weird of them to do it and need to somehow put a stop to it...

    I think it's none of your business if your father in law buys his wife a card from their grandchild tbh. If they're good enough to leave your child with for a whole weekend, then surely they're good enough to show a little thought towards with maybe a card on a day like Mother's or Father's Day? My kids have always sent their Grandparents cards on those days, precisely because of things like spending time with them and wanting to show a little appreciation.
  • Penny CrayonPenny Crayon Posts: 36,158
    Forum Member
    kkman wrote: »
    So I stumbled on this today and I am really glad to see others' opinions...
    What do you think of this?
    Myself and my husband left our 4 month old baby to be minded by the grandparents for the weekend as we had a social outing to attend.
    When I rang to check on my baby on Sunday, I was told by a very excited Granny that my 'baby' (i.e. her 70 year old husband) went and bought her a card for Mother's Day.
    She then went to read me the card from my baby that listed how wonderfully she was looking after him. Then she told me she was celebrating 'her' day with a glass of champagne.
    I let her share her excitement with me on the phone and then asked, did my baby 'buy' a card for his real mom as well. She started giggling and think got quite embarrassed by the question.
    What do you think I should do?
    I don't want this to be a yearly occurrence, I think she should be celebrating cards from her actual baby (my 30 year old husband) rather than mine. Or should I let her celebrate Mother's Day with my child and let this become a thing? I struggle to understand why would her husband not think of getting me a Mother's Day card seeing that he went to a shop to get one for his wife...
    I would appreciate your thoughts...

    Will it be a yearly occurrence that you are away on Mothers day leaving your in laws to look after your baby?
  • chitariverachitarivera Posts: 36,905
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    I think Mothers Day cards [and presents] should only be sent by the children.

    If someone is like a mother to you, thats lovely, but Mothers Day is the special day for a son or daughter to have their Mum to themselves.

    For example, my Mum passed away 7 years ago. I am her only child.
    She was very popular with family and friends and on her Birthday and Christmas time she got lots of cards and prezzies.
    Mothers Day was the only day which was mine and mine alone.

    I didn't mind sharing her with everyone else but Mothers Day was our special day.

    I don't like the thought of it being hi jacked.

    An ex neighbour of Mums sent me a text this Sunday saying she had taken some flowers to my Mums grave and had sat and had a chat with her because she misses her so much.
    SHE misses MY Mum.

    Call me whatever you like, but I feel a tiny bit unhappy about this.
    Part of me is pleased the ex neighbour remembers.
    But she fell out with my Mum before Mum moved house and although she made friends with her later on, I can't help feeling she does this to make her feel less guilty.
    On moving day, Mums ground floor got flooded because the guy who took out the washing machine forgot to seal the taps properly and when we went back to get the last bits and bobs to move Mum to a Bungalow we found the flood water. All the cleaning stuff had already gone to the new place - and this neighbour was on the garden next door ignoring us.
    Another neighbour helped us mop up and I dashed to get stuff to sort it but this flower bringing neighbour did nothing to help.

    I have stayed in touch a bit but I haven't forgotten.
    And I wish she would not take Mothers Day flowers - any other time is fine, but it kind of encroaches upon my private time.
  • chitariverachitarivera Posts: 36,905
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    I've revisited this thread because no one followed on after my post, and it would have been my Mother's Birthday this month.

    The neighbour who hi jacked Mother's Day will no doubt take flowers again on my Mum's Birthday.
    I feel this is fine but I am still resentful about the Mother's Day flowers because as I said in my post above, I feel Mother's Day should be exclusive to me.

    And it is on my mind because of the impending Birthday.

    How do I let go of these feelings of anger and resentment?
    I know I should be happy that my Mum is remembered but I'm struggling with it a bit.
  • j4Rosej4Rose Posts: 5,482
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    Was their cat a mother? If not, she doesn't deserve a card >:(
  • BlueEyedMrsPBlueEyedMrsP Posts: 12,178
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    Sometimes other people can be mother figures or grandmas can be very close with their grandchildren. I don't think it's expected though.

    It's also a thoughtful gesture to send those wishes to someone who's lost a child; in their heart they are still a mum.
  • afcbfanafcbfan Posts: 7,153
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    j4Rose wrote: »
    Was their cat a mother? If not, she doesn't deserve a card >:(


    They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother.
  • tiacattiacat Posts: 22,521
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    I've revisited this thread because no one followed on after my post, and it would have been my Mother's Birthday this month.

    The neighbour who hi jacked Mother's Day will no doubt take flowers again on my Mum's Birthday.
    I feel this is fine but I am still resentful about the Mother's Day flowers because as I said in my post above, I feel Mother's Day should be exclusive to me.

    And it is on my mind because of the impending Birthday.

    How do I let go of these feelings of anger and resentment?
    I know I should be happy that my Mum is remembered but I'm struggling with it a bit.

    I would say try to think of your mum in more than one dimension. She wasnt just a mother, she was a whole person who also had roles to play with other people in her life, and she was important to them and they miss her too. It doesnt devalue or negate her role as a mother to you.
  • fizzycatfizzycat Posts: 6,120
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    It's also a thoughtful gesture to send those wishes to someone who's lost a child; in their heart they are still a mum.

    During my first marriage I had 3 miscarriages and a still-born baby before I gave up trying. I later adopted 2 girls as a single mum and I get cards from them but my lovely (second) husband buys me a card and flowers every year from the babies I lost.
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