Me neither. I guess the approach is that you are depriving your parents of the joy of grandchildren.
I get it, I get it completely. I am selfish because I want to put my enjoyment and needs first. What I should be doing is changing the course of my life for good, so that I can no longer do the things I want in life.... just so I do not appear selfish to people who I have no concern for.
I am selfish and I do not care a tit that I am. My life is for me to live and I will be as selfish as I damned well like with it.
Has anyone ever really asked, or been asked by, a near or total stranger why they dont have kids? And asked in a normal conversational way, not as part of a discussion that naturally led to that question? I daresay there's a few nosy sods with no social boundaries who will cheerfully ask you with no shame how much you earn or what your favourite sexual position is, but I don't believe asking why a stranger doesn't have kids is part of the vast majority of people's habits.
Has anyone ever really asked, or been asked by, a near or total stranger why they dont have kids? And asked in a normal conversational way, not as part of a discussion that naturally led to that question? I daresay there's a few nosy sods with no social boundaries who will cheerfully ask you with no shame how much you earn or what your favourite sexual position is, but I don't believe asking why a stranger doesn't have kids is part of the vast majority of people's habits.
I was asked when I was returning from my honeymoon. A couple sitting across from us asked how long we were married and if we had kids, when we said no, they said "why not?"
Has anyone ever really asked, or been asked by, a near or total stranger why they dont have kids? And asked in a normal conversational way, not as part of a discussion that naturally led to that question? I daresay there's a few nosy sods with no social boundaries who will cheerfully ask you with no shame how much you earn or what your favourite sexual position is, but I don't believe asking why a stranger doesn't have kids is part of the vast majority of people's habits.
Yes I've been asked by a total stranger. One of those random conversations in the supermarket where the stranger assumed I had children and when I corrected her she asked me why.
Has anyone ever really been asked by a near or total stranger why they dont have kids? And asked in a normal conversational way, not as part of a discussion that naturally led to that question? I daresay there's a few nosy sods with no social boundaries who will cheerfully ask you with no shame how much you earn or what your favourite sexual position is, but I don't believe asking why a stranger doesn't have kids is part of the vast majority of people's habits.
I get asked all the time on the phone at work. Customers will have a chit chat and it always crops up as does whether I am married. I do not mind being asked if I have them at all. In most cases people have a laugh and tell me they do not blame me.
One woman though asked why not and told me she was sad I would "never have a complete life without experiencing the joy of children" - her exact words.:rolleyes:
Yes I've been asked by a total stranger. One of those random conversations in the supermarket where the stranger assumed I had children and when I corrected her she asked me why.
I was asked when I was returning from my honeymoon. A couple sitting across from us asked how long we were married and if we had kids, when we said no, they said "why not?"
Yes I've been asked by a total stranger. One of those random conversations in the supermarket where the stranger assumed I had children and when I corrected her she asked me why.
That is bizzare. Asking if you have kids is fair enough, but to ask why not? I'd be too scared of the posible answer to ever ask that. Cancer, abuse, forced sterilisation, etc etc. What would you reply to that?! :eek:
That is bizzare. Asking if you have kids is fair enough, but to ask why not? I'd be too scared of the posible answer to ever ask that. Cancer, abuse, forced sterilisation, etc etc. What would you reply to that?! :eek:
As I answered earlier in the thread, I'm going to start telling them straight out I can't have children.
It is indeed - after i give the jokey false answers, they start going on about how I'll change my mind, or I'm missing out etc.
If people asked why, you gave an answer and it was left at that it wouldn't be too bad but it's the way it's never left at that and all of the above gets thrown at you :mad:
I hate the "if you had children, you'd understand" mindset when someone, for whatever reason who doesn't have children is thought to have not sympathised or understood something a parent has said.
Just because someone doesn't have children doesn't make them an emotionless robot, just as just because someone has children doesn't automatically make them perfect.
I personally don't like children and therefore don't want any. I am perfectly fine with this, and my friends and family are too. I'm honest about it. I'm not hostile towards children, or people who have children. I'm just not fussed by them myself.
But its true you dont understand until you have children. Before i had mine i didn't understand why people said this but they are right.
On an aside I find parents who constantly bang on about how amazing having a child is and how "special" it is being a mum. OK so these people are in the minority but I genuinley would hate to become like that. They stop being them and just become a parent.
If people asked why, you gave an answer and it was left at that it wouldn't be too bad but it's the way it's never left at that and all of the above gets thrown at you :mad:
Yeah. There is only so much a person can take, I'm dreading my BIL wedding next month as I know we'll get questioned all day and I'm gonna end up snapping at someone.
Yeah. There is only so much a person can take, I'm dreading my BIL wedding next month as I know we'll get questioned all day and I'm gonna end up snapping at someone.
At my OH brothers wedding (bride was pregnant) all I got asked off his family was "It will be you next".. "when do we get to come to your wedding then":rolleyes:
At my OH brothers wedding (bride was pregnant) all I got asked off his family was "It will be you next".. "when do we get to come to your wedding then":rolleyes:
Yeah, BIL got that at our wedding, they weren't even engaged yet!
At my OH brothers wedding (bride was pregnant) all I got asked off his family was "It will be you next".. "when do we get to come to your wedding then":rolleyes:
Just wait until there is a funeral and say the same to them
At my OH brothers wedding (bride was pregnant) all I got asked off his family was "It will be you next".. "when do we get to come to your wedding then":rolleyes:
Possibly but they seemed certain I would be next. I was just honest and told them i had no intention of marrying or having kids ever. At least now, next time I see them they will not mention it again:D
I get it, I get it completely. I am selfish because I want to put my enjoyment and needs first. What I should be doing is changing the course of my life for good, so that I can no longer do the things I want in life.... just so I do not appear selfish to people who I have no concern for.
I am selfish and I do not care a tit that I am. My life is for me to live and I will be as selfish as I damned well like with it.
Having children is more selfish than not having children, unless you're adopting.
There are already 7 billion of us. If we want to be altruistic, breeding isn't on the list of things to do.
But its true you dont understand until you have children. Before i had mine i didn't understand why people said this but they are right.
It is all subjective though - YOU feel a certain way. Other people may feel a similar (not exactly the same) way about someone, or not.
People don't all feel exactly the same about the same things.
I am sure if I was a father I would feel a certain way about my children, but I don't want to be a father. The feeling of not wanting to be a father for me, overrides any potential feelings I might experience were I to be a father.
I do get that people with children might find it hard to understand that some people don't want children but the assumption that child free people cannot feel unconditional love or a bond towards someone else is completely wrong.
Having been married and got a child I can honestly say having been on both sides of the fence that my life was more enjoyable when I was single. If I knew then what I know now I'd still be at home with my parents paying board living off mothers cooking and going out when I want enjoying myself instead of being tied down with bills and a screaming whinging child and a nagging wife. I don't have any patience for kids and don't have a paternal bone in my body. Marriage and children can bring you joy but for me the constant headaches far outweigh the pleasures and your life is never your own. It's just one massive unnecessary expense and the only reason I can think for being conned into married life with children is because men think with their willies and not with their brains and sometimes it's just easier to give in for a peaceful existence.
the more of your posts I read, the more sorry I feel for your poor wife and child.....you are truly vile
Comments
I get it, I get it completely. I am selfish because I want to put my enjoyment and needs first. What I should be doing is changing the course of my life for good, so that I can no longer do the things I want in life.... just so I do not appear selfish to people who I have no concern for.
I am selfish and I do not care a tit that I am. My life is for me to live and I will be as selfish as I damned well like with it.
I was asked when I was returning from my honeymoon. A couple sitting across from us asked how long we were married and if we had kids, when we said no, they said "why not?"
Yes I've been asked by a total stranger. One of those random conversations in the supermarket where the stranger assumed I had children and when I corrected her she asked me why.
I get asked all the time on the phone at work. Customers will have a chit chat and it always crops up as does whether I am married. I do not mind being asked if I have them at all. In most cases people have a laugh and tell me they do not blame me.
One woman though asked why not and told me she was sad I would "never have a complete life without experiencing the joy of children" - her exact words.:rolleyes:
Yep, same experience here.
It is indeed - after i give the jokey false answers, they start going on about how I'll change my mind, or I'm missing out etc.
As I answered earlier in the thread, I'm going to start telling them straight out I can't have children.
If people asked why, you gave an answer and it was left at that it wouldn't be too bad but it's the way it's never left at that and all of the above gets thrown at you :mad:
But its true you dont understand until you have children. Before i had mine i didn't understand why people said this but they are right.
Yeah. There is only so much a person can take, I'm dreading my BIL wedding next month as I know we'll get questioned all day and I'm gonna end up snapping at someone.
At my OH brothers wedding (bride was pregnant) all I got asked off his family was "It will be you next".. "when do we get to come to your wedding then":rolleyes:
Yeah, BIL got that at our wedding, they weren't even engaged yet!
Just wait until there is a funeral and say the same to them
Lighten up. They were only joking with you!
I'm sure I have had experiences in life that you can't truly understand too.
But this doesn't mean that you may not be able to empathise with my experiences.
Exactly i can never truly understand until i have had similar experiences. You can empathise to an extent.
Possibly but they seemed certain I would be next. I was just honest and told them i had no intention of marrying or having kids ever. At least now, next time I see them they will not mention it again:D
Having children is more selfish than not having children, unless you're adopting.
There are already 7 billion of us. If we want to be altruistic, breeding isn't on the list of things to do.
It is all subjective though - YOU feel a certain way. Other people may feel a similar (not exactly the same) way about someone, or not.
People don't all feel exactly the same about the same things.
I am sure if I was a father I would feel a certain way about my children, but I don't want to be a father. The feeling of not wanting to be a father for me, overrides any potential feelings I might experience were I to be a father.
I do get that people with children might find it hard to understand that some people don't want children but the assumption that child free people cannot feel unconditional love or a bond towards someone else is completely wrong.
the more of your posts I read, the more sorry I feel for your poor wife and child.....you are truly vile
But you are glad that you were born obviously?