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Would you end 10/20 years of marriage over a racist comment?
Nuartey1
Posts: 2,333 Forum Member
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Picture this scenario: you're in a major row with your husband/wife of 20 years and you both have different racial heritages/backgrounds. The marriage has been great so far up until that row. You may or may not have children. In the heat of a moment your partner utters something racist to you/calls you a racist word.
Would you divorce them?
Would you divorce them?
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I can't see myself ever married to someone capable of that, but, it would be, in my view, one of the ultimate betrayals.
Also, how good your life together has been so far. Like, if you've had 20 lovely years together and the outburst was really out of character for them, then letting it slide this time might not be such a bad idea. But if your marriage has been turbulent anyway and you can't look back and say you've loved all the time you've been together, a comment like that could easily push you over the edge.
Then again, if you've gone so far as contemplating divorce, it must have been pretty damn serious!
No, we're assuming that the marriage has been very good up until this row.
No, next question.
They're devilish cunning these racists and play a long and patient game.
In that case, I don't think I'd go so far as divorce. It's sad, but sometimes people just bring up the one thing that's going to hurt you most in the heat of the moment/in the middle of an argument, and regret it straight after.
Don't get me wrong, he/she would be in the dog house for a hell of a long time though.
It depends how racist they are. If it's KKK territory obviously they're not going to mary a person from a different race but that's not the scenario I've created here. Some people may have racist views but marry their partner despite this. For instance, some racists may still bang Halle Berry. It's not always black and white. (No pun intended)
Have you ever watched Divorce Court? There was a such a marriage where the husband was constantly goading the woman about her race despite being together for a very very long time.
Probably not - the thing with rows is, people say things to try and hurt you in the heat of the moment. It's not necessarily their real viewpoint;
Another no from me as well.
I think I'd do the same.
Could you go into more detail?
In a marriage a lot of things are said, including insults infinitely more damning and hurtful than a racist comment. I would simply assume it was made in a flash of temper, and forget it.
No, I have never watched Divorce Court:p
As would I
I don't know...maybe I'm just not geared up that way, but I wouldn't and have never thought of retaliating in an argument with anyone with racist comments.
Haha, there's always one. Fortunately, I'm not married, or in a relationship or a racist!
So it is a pointless thread!
Then why are you in it? :rolleyes: I created the question because I was genuinely interested to read other people's opinion's. If you think it's pointless then there are other threads on the page. No one is forcing you to stay here.
I would divorce him....if he said I was fat!;)