Would you think this rude??

[Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,034
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Hi :)

Something at work is really bugging me. My supervisor and two of my colleagues are Lithuanian, and every day they're constantly talking to each other in their own language, even though they can speak English and everyone else in the office is English-speaking (There are 9 of us altogether). Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I always feel that they're talking about me or other colleagues, especially when they're having a laugh or finding something particularly funny. It's really starting to p*** me off, and one of the other girls has told me she hates it too, but I'm not sure whether to say anything to the other supervisor or not. I just think it's really rude of them to speak in their own language, when their English is perfectly good enough! Has anyone else ever been in a situation like this, and do you think I'm over-reacting? (Be honest!)

Any advice much appreciated, cheers! :cool:
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  • rhythmbanditrhythmbandit Posts: 938
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    Learn Lithuanian. :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 14,037
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    Well you could try and learn the language a little bit and get a basic idea of what they are saying.

    They must be saying something that they don't want know one else to hear. I would find it quite rude and annoying...
  • ILoveMyDogILoveMyDog Posts: 25,762
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    I agree with you! It is rude, but I don't know how to deal with it, unless you (and whomever else agrees) say to them you find you are being ostracised or something?
  • R300R300 Posts: 2,521
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    Where I work we have hundreds of Polish people. They all speak English but now and then they do speak in their native tongue when they are together. They even speak English sometimes to each other just to show that they aren't being 'rude'. I have no problem if they speak Polish in front of me, it doesn't bother me that much.
  • Kiwi oneKiwi one Posts: 3,430
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    LouC I think it is very rude. When in Rome....etc. :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,540
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    Well if talking amongst themsleves then I suppose it is natural to slip back into their own language, im sure the Brits do it when they work abroad.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,527
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    I think it is rude if it is more than the occasional comment to each other unless your company has some form of lithuanian connection. I also agree with kie-kie's last comment but then as everyone here knows, I tend to be very opinionated ;)
  • SystemSystem Posts: 2,096,970
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    LouC wrote:
    Any advice much appreciated, cheers! :cool:

    I guess the rest of you could learn another language on the quiet, then talk about them.

    You could even learn a really useful language, such as sign language.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 15,059
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    LouC wrote:
    Hi :)

    Something at work is really bugging me. My supervisor and two of my colleagues are Lithuanian, and every day they're constantly talking to each other in their own language, even though they can speak English and everyone else in the office is English-speaking (There are 9 of us altogether). Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I always feel that they're talking about me or other colleagues, especially when they're having a laugh or finding something particularly funny. It's really starting to p*** me off, and one of the other girls has told me she hates it too, but I'm not sure whether to say anything to the other supervisor or not. I just think it's really rude of them to speak in their own language, when their English is perfectly good enough! Has anyone else ever been in a situation like this, and do you think I'm over-reacting? (Be honest!)

    Any advice much appreciated, cheers! :cool:



    Well, I do agree that it's a little bit out of order, but I might have a solution. I know a bit of Lithuanian myself and the following should be shouted loudly whenever they start doing this;

    Nekalbame Lietuviskai! Prasau gal galite kalbeti Angliskai!

    That translates as "We do not speak Lithuanian, please speak English!" It might not work, but if you say it enough, hopefully they'll get the message! :)
  • SystemSystem Posts: 2,096,970
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    Be grateful you don't live in wales.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,306
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    are you worthy of being talked about !

    :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 14,037
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    Sulriss wrote:
    Be grateful you don't live in wales.

    Well not all Welsh people actually speak Welsh. The schools do influence the language but since I am home educated I have nothing to worry and will carry on speaking and writing English.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 9,285
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    I think it is rude. I've experienced something like that, Polish work colleagues chatting in their own language whilst we were in an exam. I asked very politely if they would kindly speak English, but was told where to go in their language. Not that I understood it, but the looks on their faces and the words they uttered were that of someone displeased with a suggestion put to them. Very rude.
  • Jimmy ConnorsJimmy Connors Posts: 117,376
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    I have quite a few Polish co-workers who constantly speak their native tongue around me. I couldn't care less. Sometimes I even hear my name interspersed into their conversation.

    I just give them a quick look of disdain, but to be perfectly honest I couldn't care less what they are saying (even about me)

    Little do they know I do understand a little Polish. Mostly swear words I picked up from a former girlfriend!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,931
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    Not sure I'd be too worried if someone was talking about me... I might wonder what they were saying, but if they were French, German or Spanish I might try and pick it up (as I know a tiny bit of each) and try and understand them. I wouldn't say anything though - just evesdrop. ;)

    I know it's not the same, but...

    I used to work with a guy from Delhi who was spending his first year in the UK. The security guard used to bowl up to me and mouth off (saying he's probably in Al Queda) about him speaking in his native language outside.

    He was talking to his Mum who doesn't speak English, and he used to speak a damn site better English than the scurity bloke. It wound me up all the time - what else could he do? I bet he wouldn't learn a language if he was working in India with someone.

    Jimmy - when I was working at the same place there were a lot of Polish workers there. As we all started at the same time we were in the same area, and would go to lunch together. They'd often slip in to their first language, and one of the girls from Turkey wanted to know what they were saying, so they started teaching her.

    I picked up a lot of swear words within a few weeks - have forgotten them now though! :o

    They used to mention people all the time and we'd all be bemused - it was all in good humour though. At least I think it was. :D
  • Agent KrycekAgent Krycek Posts: 39,269
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    I don't think it's particularly rude. Reverse the position, if you were in Lithuania, spoke the language but had a couple of English people working with you are you seriously saying you wouldn't ever speak English to them in the workplace?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,620
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    magicmover wrote:
    Well not all Welsh people actually speak Welsh. The schools do influence the language but since I am home educated I have nothing to worry and will carry on speaking and writing English.
    You seem to see that as a good thing ? :confused: I would love if my niece and nephew learnt welsh (dadd is Welsh speaking)...


    To the OP i have to agree with the Agent^ ! I dont think its rude, but it is very annoying for you and its perfectly natural that you'd get wound up. But there's not a lot you can do about it... You cant really stop them from talking another language i dont think....
    Rather strangley imo, when several ex colleagues went to work in our German offices they said everyone spoke English there, even though 90% ish were German. Bit too unselfish perhaps?!.. But like others have said its quite natural to slip into your own language...

    I'm not sure the advice of learning lithuanian is a very constructive one. If I were you I would try really hard to ignore it, because the more you think about it, and the more you notice it, hear it etc the more it'll annoy you. Either stick with your english speaking friends, or start talking to them non stop so they dont have the chance to talk amongst themselves! Thing is if people want to gossip and talk about other staff, which does happen in all offices, then they'll find a way. If thats what they are doing, then if its not this way, it'd be after work, by email etc.. It sounds as though you guys talk about them also... As for other stuff they talk about well that probably doesn't matter so much does it....(?)

    Not quite the same, but when I get my nails done they always start rabbiting on in Vietnamese(? i think). I do find it very annoying and thought they were rude also. Especially because sometimes its really obvious they are talking about us customers. I used to get wound up because I didnt have the chance to answer back if they were talking about me! But then I thought since there is nothing I can do about its best I just try and push those thoughts out of my head and now think about anything else...
  • SproggSprogg Posts: 16,160
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    I had a similar situation. Two girls speaking Punjabi to each other and roaring with laughter. I put up with it for solong then one day I blurted out "I find that really really rude, if you've got anything to say then please say it in English so everyone can understand it and not make everyone feel uncomfortable". As it happens I'm very good friends with one of them now. lol
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,363
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    I don't think it's particularly rude. Reverse the position, if you were in Lithuania, spoke the language but had a couple of English people working with you are you seriously saying you wouldn't ever speak English to them in the workplace?

    I agree with that too. I work with people who often speak German, Spanish, French, Japanese and Arabic to each other and to people on the phone. I don't understand much of it, but it makes life interesting.
  • PamelaLPamelaL Posts: 67,688
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    Purity wrote:
    I agree with that too. I work with people who often speak German, Spanish, French, Japanese and Arabic to each other and to people on the phone. I don't understand much of it, but it makes life interesting.

    Yep, I'm with you and AK. One of my closest friends back home is Greek and weekends at her house with her Greek parents and their friends is always entertaining. For most of them English is a second language and so of course they speak their native language amongst each other. Stacee (my friend) would translate and I learnt quite a bit of Greek as a result. :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,786
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    I don't think that this is rude at all. There are seven different nationalities in my office and most people speak several languages. I only speak two and am therefore frequently in the position where people are speaking a language I do not understand to each other. I have listened in and have picked up quite a lot of German and Spanish as a result so I actually rather enjoy it - it's like free language school!

    The one time it really upset me was when this bitchy girl and I had a fracas and she walked straight up to a colleague, to whom I was talking about something else, and cut across our conversation with a rant about my attitude in Spanish, which I do not speak. I discussed it with her manager, she accepted it was out of order and asked her not to do that in future.
  • SystemSystem Posts: 2,096,970
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    people from germany/ holland/ finland/ denmark usually speak brilliant english. they speak it and write and read it better than some english people even.

    however countries in eastern europe usually do not teach english at their schools and thus you have this inability to know the language....

    whilst it is very irritating, i dont think you need to allow yourself to be bothered by it.

    as more and more ppl from these countries come and work in the uk, such situations are going to be more and more commonplace.

    what might be best is if ALL those who feel offended by this behaviour were to perhaps have a little friendly meeting with the others....if only one of you speaks up, you will probably be ostracised or disliked by them for telling them off?? if ALL of you feel the same then your supervisor will have to perhaps reconsider .....

    im always keen to learn new languages and would probably ask them how to say a few words....ultimately it might be most beneficial if you go down the old 'if you cant beat 'em, join 'em' route.....
  • noddylpdnoddylpd Posts: 1,905
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    My other half is Spanish and she speaks Spanish when some of her Spanish friends come round but it does not really worry me. I don't think it is rude really but maybe you guys that are upset by it are too paranoid! lol What winds me up is when her mate rings us and leaves an answer phone message in Spanish so I cannot respond to it as I have not learnt the lingo yet! lol Still that is my fault! :rolleyes:
  • timeytimey Posts: 19,379
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    There's a couple of Norwegians at my place fo work and they speak their own language to each other. Sure, they could be talking about us all behind our backs but it's a fact of life and we just have to get used it.
  • SproggSprogg Posts: 16,160
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    noddylpd wrote:
    My other half is Spanish and she speaks Spanish when some of her Spanish friends come round but it does not really worry me.
    Yes but it's unlikely that your wife is having a good laugh at your expense. .
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