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All about the bride

alan29alan29 Posts: 34,639
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in General Discussion #1
Why are weddings all about the bride and "her special day."
The day we got married was pretty bloody special for me, too.
Is is really all about the dressing up?

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    LilolemeLiloleme Posts: 5,839
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    #2
    It's bloody horrible. I am not an introvert but I don't like having to be the centre of attention.

    I personally would have much rather it been a more equal thing.
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    *weeschmoo**weeschmoo* Posts: 9,713
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    #3
    Nope - it was our day...mine and his (despite his Mum trying to hijack it) thinking about it that day was just rabble, we had made our mind up ages before that we were going to get married and I remember that moment more than our vows - so does he - the best bit about it our wedding day was the 5 minutes we snuck to be alone.

    My dress was so very groovy but not quite the average. It mattered though, my dress mattered to me and it also mattered that I danced with my boots on:D

    The music played at our reception mattered most of all.:D
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    kimindexkimindex Posts: 68,250
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    #4
    I guess it was, traditionally, in the past, as some compensation for not considered to be the head of the household and not as important as the husband in life or at home. Of course, each should be as important as the other (and that's not how everyone saw it).
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    TenpeTenpe Posts: 1,508
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    #5
    It might be all about the bride but its usually the groom's family who pays for it
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    netcurtainsnetcurtains Posts: 23,494
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    #6
    I think it depends on what you're into really. I didn't want a big fancy wedding and a big fancy frock. I just wanted to make a commitment to the man I loved and he felt the same way. I wore black, we nipped to the registry office and did our bit and then we went to the pub to celebrate.
    It was our day for us, definitely not just MY special day. To be honest though there have been far more special days than that particular one since we've been together.
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    ianxianx Posts: 9,190
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    #7
    Tenpe wrote: »
    It might be all about the bride but its usually the groom's family who pays for it
    Why would that be? If anything, the tradition has been that the bride's family paid for it.
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    LilolemeLiloleme Posts: 5,839
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    #8
    netcurtains wrote: »
    I think it depends on what you're into really. I didn't want a big fancy wedding and a big fancy frock. I just wanted to make a commitment to the man I loved and he felt the same way. I wore black, we nipped to the registry office and did our bit and then we went to the pub to celebrate.
    It was our day for us, definitely not just MY special day. To be honest though there have been far more special days than that particular one since we've been together.

    Sounds brilliant. Exactly what I wanted but my groom pulled his clock and we had a Church do with the works.
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    *weeschmoo**weeschmoo* Posts: 9,713
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    #9
    netcurtains wrote: »
    I think it depends on what you're into really. I didn't want a big fancy wedding and a big fancy frock. I just wanted to make a commitment to the man I loved and he felt the same way. I wore black, we nipped to the registry office and did our bit and then we went to the pub to celebrate.
    It was our day for us, definitely not just MY special day. To be honest though there have been far more special days than that particular one since we've been together.

    I feel the same, so many days better than our wedding day - before and since. I always find good times/memories are more likely to happen when they are unplanned.
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    ChristaChrista Posts: 17,560
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    #10
    I kinda think it's all the families day no? I guess people stare at the bride & her get-up more than the groom in the suit, but that doesn't mean the day is any less about him.

    ION I'm pissed off Kate had a lily of the valley bouquet & on her cake - people are going to think I copied her grr...
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,273
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    #11
    I agree it's the family's day almost as much as the couples. Because everyone always wants to see 'the dress' the bride naturally becomes the main focus but it's certainly not ''all about the bride''.
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    zx50zx50 Posts: 91,272
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    #12
    A wedding should be completely about the bride and groom. It doesn't matter if the organisers haven't got enough of such and such, just so long as these two people who are the love of each others lives get married happily.
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    The ManglerThe Mangler Posts: 1,890
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    #13
    My wedding day was totally screwed up, what with his family demanding their choice of bridesmaids and guests (step mum was banned) and my family telling me they wouldnt come if I married on our first choice of day (Xmas Eve). my brother refused to wear morning suit (he was giving me away) and the whole family were stil grieving for my Dad who died 6 months before. It definitely wasnt all about me, in fact with hindsight I should probably never have gone through with it
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 32,379
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    #14
    netcurtains wrote: »
    I think it depends on what you're into really. I didn't want a big fancy wedding and a big fancy frock. I just wanted to make a commitment to the man I loved and he felt the same way. I wore black, we nipped to the registry office and did our bit and then we went to the pub to celebrate.
    It was our day for us, definitely not just MY special day. To be honest though there have been far more special days than that particular one since we've been together.

    That's brilliant. I did that as well but 40 years ago.
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    JamesC81JamesC81 Posts: 14,792
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    #15
    why is it 'man' and wife and not 'husband' and wife?
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    LilolemeLiloleme Posts: 5,839
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    #16
    JamesC81 wrote: »
    why is it 'man' and wife and not 'husband' and wife?

    It was husband and wife in my service which was the normal Catholic one.
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    JamesC81JamesC81 Posts: 14,792
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    #17
    Liloleme wrote: »
    It was husband and wife in my service which was the normal Catholic one.

    i see, those crazy anglicans!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 141
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    #18
    Liloleme wrote: »
    It's bloody horrible. I am not an introvert but I don't like having to be the centre of attention.

    I personally would have much rather it been a more equal thing.

    I agree with you but I will just do what is required of me legally and religiously in order to get married nothing more. Hopefully I can convince the groom to only invite his parents and sibilings and I will do the same.

    Even that idea scares me. :o
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    TheEricPollardTheEricPollard Posts: 11,582
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    #19
    women like dressing up in frocks, men tend to realise weddings are shit.
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    gemma-the-huskygemma-the-husky Posts: 18,116
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    #20
    Tenpe wrote: »
    It might be all about the bride but its usually the groom's family who pays for it

    surely not - usually the bride's family
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,186
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    #21
    Because inn the past, generally all a women was ever going to do with her life was be a Wife and Mother. So Her wedding day was probably going to be the Biggest day of her life.. After she is married its all more or less set...
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    gemma-the-huskygemma-the-husky Posts: 18,116
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    #22
    JamesC81 wrote: »
    why is it 'man' and wife and not 'husband' and wife?

    I would think it's the historical status of a wife as a chattel of the husband. A man "took" a wife

    even today, it was "Who gives this woman to this man?"

    and "Those who god have joined together, let no man put asunder"

    The man was supposed to "forsake all others" but clearly often did not - although the woman would surely respect her vows.
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