[QueenMaude]

http://www.psychforums.com/paraphilias/

I was browing Psychforums.com, a very useful forum for people with mental health issues, all kinds, to find support and people with similar issues, eating disorders, depression, anxiety disorders, OCD etc.

However, one sub forum 'Paraphilias' was kinda disturbing.... a forum dedicated to abnormal sexual fetishes and sexual interests.... necrophilia, paedophilia etc.


I know stuff like that does happen, and people are into all sorts of weird shit but seeing people writing about it, how they are in love with children, discussing why they fantasize about dead bodies... really quite disturbing :\ makes it all seem a bit more real, more so than what you read in the newspapers etc.

Just thought i'd share.

[cjsmummy]

No thanks.

[stud u like]

We studied paraphillias at University from flashers to sex abusers.

I didn't bother writing about it although the lecture was perhaps the only one with a disclaimer which made it rather dirty.

[goonst]

I met a woman once who told me that her ultimate sexual fantasy was to tie a guy to a chair, cut him with a knife to the point that he died, and be ****ing him at the moment where the life passed out of him. She said some other casually necrophilic things but that was the bit which really stuck out. 'Issues' doesn't even cover it but she was good fun and a lovely person really. Definitely wouldn't let her near me with a knife though.

I'm toying with clicking that link but I think that reading paedophiles talking about being paedophiles is just going to horrify me a little bit. I don't have so much of a problem with necrophiles, creepy and disgusting as it is. I mean, it revolts and deeply unsettles me but it doesn't make me want to cry. At least for the most part they want to **** the already-deceased, rather than abusing and traumatising live children in a way that will have horrible repercussions for the rest of that child's life. Funnily enough, the necrophile woman I just mentioned was repeatedly raped by her dad when she was a toddler.

[Flamethrower100]

well I suppose they have to include all walks of life. even people with the worst kinds of sexual disorders.

It's not the kind of forum I'd be interested in looking at frankly. reading about acts these people commit is disturbing enough, but delving into their minds, is even worse. It leaves me feeling cold and sickened inside. I have seen documentaries on serial killers, and some of the stuff they say is frightening.

But psychologists have to listen to this stuff every day.
I thought about becoming one, but I have enough trouble dealing with my own issues. let alone someone else's.

[droogiefret]

Well I've had a brief look and my main thought is that it's good for people to recognize when they have a problem and find some support in trying to deal with it.

[goonst]

I clicked. ****. First of all there's some **** saying that he watches child porn but not if the child looks uncomfortable (*screams*) and he would never hurt a child but may act on his urges if he thought it would be a positive consensual experience (*screams*) and he isn't sure if that's possible with children between 8 and 12.

Then there's someone who thinks that non-violent sexual abuse of children is hardly even a real crime. Hurting children is reprehensible but "just rubbing an area" is not. (*screams*)

Then there's Mr I'm in love with an 11 year old girl. I was 11 when I was groomed online. He told me he was in love with me, god he sounded just like that. At one point I couldn't deal with it any more - I'd got to the point of drawing blood from my arms with my nails and hitting myself in the face because I felt so disgusting - and tried to tell him where to go and he said "hey, it's not like that. I'm just like an older brother. Let me be like an older brother to you." He wasn't. He never even laid a finger on me and yet still managed to **** the **** out of a good six years of my life, so far. I've got to the point where I'm angry but I don't get triggered any more, or have nightmares any more, or question myself or what happened any more. But I'm ****ed. Really ****ed. Mind****ing vulnerable children can do that.

But of course only violence is wrong. Only violence hurts children.

Anyway I'm done, this was a terrible idea.

*sigh* And I want to be a therapist one day.

[QueenMaude]

I think the most disturbing thing is how they try to justify their sick fetish for suggesting that the children in some way want it or invite it. one of them said how a kid 'chose' to befriend him, and if he didnt like him he wouldn't show him his drawings etc, ummm he is a small child they cant differentiate between nice people and bad people!!!


horrible!!

[goonst]

Originally Posted by QueenMaude

I think the most disturbing thing is how they try to justify their sick fetish for suggesting that the children in some way want it or invite it. one of them said how a kid 'chose' to befriend him, and if he didnt like him he wouldn't show him his drawings etc, ummm he is a small child they cant differentiate between nice people and bad people!!!


horrible!!

Yeah, I was horrified by how many of them were talking about spending lots of alone time with children in the same breath as talking about how they found their urges difficult to control. Terrifying. Then they bleat about responsible, non-offending paedophiles. I'm sorry, but if you have an overwhelming urge to rape children then you should not be getting close to, and spending time alone with children! I think that guy you mentioned with the drawings was whining about his family asking him if he had abused his young relatives...oh, because that is a totally absurd leap to make when someone you've left your kids alone with admits he wants to screw kids. Terrifying and ludicrous.

[droogiefret]

Originally Posted by goonst

I clicked./snip/.

There's a subforum for victims too.

My impression (albeit briefly formed and I'm not about to dive in there again) was somewhat different to yours. I saw posts from people who were not defending but just worried about how they felt. Like the 37 year old worried that he might be abnormal because he had a crush on Emma Stone.

I would hope the forum is carefully moderated though to ensure it is about people wanting help.

[LaceyLouelle3]

I had a quick read of some of the threads on there and not sure what I make of it all to be honest.

[Dan Fortesque]

Originally Posted by droogiefret

There's a subforum for victims too.

My impression (albeit briefly formed and I'm not about to dive in there again) was somewhat different to yours. I saw posts from people who were not defending but just worried about how they felt. Like the 37 year old worried that he might be abnormal because he had a crush on Emma Stone.

I would hope the forum is carefully moderated though to ensure it is about people wanting help.

I agree about the monitoring, because I remember once hearing about a forum which eventually served as a medium for like-minded people to get together to swap child porn, meet up and form rings. I think these sites can also add fuel to the fire.

[paulbrock]

as long as it's not encouraging the behaviour, and is largely about seeking help/coping mechanisms to prevent victims, no problems with it. It does *sound* like its quite a way from a place where they can all swap kids contact details and child porn.

But yeah, I've had the misfortune in speaking to handful of pedophiles. Not for the feint of heart.

[AnnaliseZ]

Originally Posted by droogiefret

I would hope the forum is carefully moderated though to ensure it is about people wanting help.

Exactly what I was going to say.

[goonst]

Originally Posted by droogiefret

There's a subforum for victims too.

My impression (albeit briefly formed and I'm not about to dive in there again) was somewhat different to yours. I saw posts from people who were not defending but just worried about how they felt. Like the 37 year old worried that he might be abnormal because he had a crush on Emma Stone.

I would hope the forum is carefully moderated though to ensure it is about people wanting help.

Yeah, there were quite a few posts which I could actually get behind. Actual responsible and non-offending paedophiles who just wished they could get help to deal with their urges so they wouldn't end up hurting children. But there was just so much reprehensible and vile stuff mixed in there, going completely unchallenged as far as I saw, that I'm kind of struggling to see it in that positive a light. I do know my opinion is clouded a bit by personal experience. But I guess I know what even purely online paedophilia can do to a kid, and a lot of those guys, responsible or otherwise, seem to have little to no idea.

[Keiō Line]

I haven't clicked on the link, but doubt if such a forum could exist without being abused .

[droogiefret]

Originally Posted by goonst

Yeah, there were quite a few posts which I could actually get behind. Actual responsible and non-offending paedophiles who just wished they could get help to deal with their urges so they wouldn't end up hurting children. But there was just so much reprehensible and vile stuff mixed in there, going completely unchallenged as far as I saw, that I'm kind of struggling to see it in that positive a light. I do know my opinion is clouded a bit by personal experience. But I guess I know what even purely online paedophilia can do to a kid, and a lot of those guys, responsible or otherwise, seem to have little to no idea.

I will never forget the shock I felt when I heard my son playing a collaborative 'shoot 'em up' via a headset - and heard what one the players - clearly a mature adult - said to my son.

I won't go into it - you can imagine. My son never did - and never has - accepted that these guys were in the early stages of grooming him. I was in no doubt and put a stop to it immediately. It's insidious and the effects (whether any actual physical contact is made or not) can be devastating.

I could never counsel such people. But objectively I feel we, as a society, are making it worse by mass labelling and making the whole thing almost a no-go area to even talk about. I'd like this psych sub-forum to be a positive influence so would want to wish it well ...... but, yeah, it could go the other way I know.