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How many dates before cheating?

thaliafanthaliafan Posts: 704
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in General Discussion #1
Question of the day : how long does it take to become "official" with somebody?

I've been dating a guy for a month, but it's hardly love. However, the idea of being with someone else (we haven't slept together yet, FYI!) finally seems an alien idea.

Looking forward to interesting responses and stories!

Thaliafan

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 257
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    #2
    You need to ask him out or wait for him to ask you out. Going on dates doesn't necessarily mean you guys are couple. You guys need more time to get to know each other more, and then pop the question.

    Relationship doesn't occur out of the blue or quickly. It develops gradually. Both parties needs to be able to communicate, make each other laugh, and spend a whole lot of time with each other. Eventually you'll two fall in love.

    It took over an year and a half to grow feelings for this girl. We didn't really tell each other how we felt at first, but we definitely enjoyed time with each other. She made me feel special, and I made her special.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,888
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    #3
    I agree with relationships developing slowly. Maybe bring it up in a roundabout away, such as "I like you and I'm enjoying where we're going at the moment,". It keeps it simple and allows him to say something defining where he's at too.

    Labelling it a relationship might scare him but calling it just seeing him might make it seem too casual. I've usually just slipped into relationship gradually after about two months.
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    JumbobonesJumbobones Posts: 1,814
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    #4
    before cheating?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 841
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    #5
    Jumbobones wrote: »
    before cheating?

    That's what i was thinking. It's almost if she/he wants our approval to cheat on him :confused:
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    thaliafanthaliafan Posts: 704
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    #6
    CerealKiller wrote: »
    That's what i was thinking. It's almost if she/he wants our approval to cheat on him :confused:

    As we haven't been out that long, if I were to go to a "wicked party" (to quote Peep Show) tonight, and found somebody (okay, my friend's housemate), this wouldn't be cheating, right? :DDD
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    performingmonkperformingmonk Posts: 20,086
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    #7
    thaliafan wrote: »
    As we haven't been out that long, if I were to go to a "wicked party" (to quote Peep Show) tonight, and found somebody (okay, my friend's housemate), this wouldn't be cheating, right? :DDD

    So...the naked truth, there! :D
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    Miss XYZMiss XYZ Posts: 14,023
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    #8
    thaliafan wrote: »
    As we haven't been out that long, if I were to go to a "wicked party" (to quote Peep Show) tonight, and found somebody (okay, my friend's housemate), this wouldn't be cheating, right? :DDD

    Would you consider it cheating if he went to a "wicked party" tonight and did the same?
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    thaliafanthaliafan Posts: 704
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    #9
    Miss XYZ wrote: »
    Would you consider it cheating if he went to a "wicked party" tonight and did the same?

    Miss XYZ - what an amazingly astute question to ask!

    I think that I would be sad if he got off with someone else. Doesn't that sound like a bunny boiler!? But if he did, I wouldn't cry about it, let's say...

    I think I should let the chips fall where they should; anyway, I don't "normally" get off with people at parties, and my friend has warned me away from his new housemate, so I guess let's have tequilas!

    Have a good Easter :)

    Thaliafan
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,899
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    #10
    CerealKiller wrote: »
    That's what i was thinking. It's almost if she/he wants our approval to cheat on him :confused:

    Thought exactly the same.
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    droogiefretdroogiefret Posts: 24,117
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    #11
    I've been dating a guy for a month, but it's hardly love. However, the idea of being with someone else (we haven't slept together yet, FYI!) finally seems an alien idea.
    thaliafan wrote: »
    /snip/

    I think I should let the chips fall where they should; anyway, I don't "normally" get off with people at parties, and my friend has warned me away from his new housemate, so I guess let's have tequilas!

    /snip/

    Thaliafan

    You like to think you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah.
    What's closer to the truth is .....
    You might as well face it you're addicted to love.

    :)
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    thaliafanthaliafan Posts: 704
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    #12
    droogiefret wrote: »
    You like to think you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah.
    What's closer to the truth is .....
    You might as well face it you're addicted to love.

    :)

    :)))

    Addiction is a strong word. So, I guess, is quoting Robert Palmer to make a point :)
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    FizixFizix Posts: 16,932
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    #13
    The moment you start seeing them its a no no... Which personally, I'd feel messed around if I went on a date with a woman, arranged a second date and they had a date with someone else at the same time. It would indicate that they weren't that into me.

    Plus if you are cheating on someone right at the start, it don't bode well for the future.
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    rupert_pupkinrupert_pupkin Posts: 3,975
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    #14
    Fizix wrote: »
    The moment you start seeing them... Which personally, I'd feel messed around if I went on a date with a woman, arranged a second date and they had a date with someone else at the same time. It would indicate that they weren't that into me.

    Plus if you are cheating on someone right at the start, it don't bode well for the future.

    I'm with you

    Date one person, if you don't like them start dating someone else. 'Keeping my options open' is code word for slag. Or emotionally needy and insecure
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    RebelScumRebelScum Posts: 16,008
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    #15
    Theres no set time, it could be from the first date, or it could be never. It's down to the individuals, the main thing is communication. If you both understand the relationship isn't yet (sorry...) exclusive, and both are ok with the other person seeing other people then fine. If one of you wants things to change then it has to be said.
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    yellowparkyellowpark Posts: 2,125
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    #16
    You are gay so it does not matter, us gays are not good in keeping long term relationships.
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    dd68dd68 Posts: 17,843
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    #17
    If it's a decent relationship there is no need to cheat
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 949
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    #18
    If you aren't actually boyfriend and girlfriend then it's not cheating but if he found out he would probably be put off
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    RAINBOWGIRL22RAINBOWGIRL22 Posts: 24,459
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    #19
    If you haven't slept with your BF then why would you go and sleep with someone else?
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    Poppy99Poppy99 Posts: 271
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    #20
    yellowpark wrote: »
    You are gay so it does not matter, us gays are not good in keeping long term relationships.

    So that vigorous campaign to legalise gay marriage was all for nowt? I suspect a lot of gay people will argue with your statement.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,821
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    #21
    thaliafan wrote: »
    As we haven't been out that long, if I were to go to a "wicked party" (to quote Peep Show) tonight, and found somebody (okay, my friend's housemate), this wouldn't be cheating, right? :DDD

    Whether you think its cheating or not, which I do think it is. You obviously don't like him that much, that you are willing to sleep with someone else, so did him a favor and end i now, you will only hurt him in the end.
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    sofieellissofieellis Posts: 10,327
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    #22
    It sounds to me like you're just stringing this guy along until someone "better" comes along, which, in my opinion, isn't fair. If you're already wanting to stray, then you should just do the decent thing and stop dating the guy.

    If you do stay with this bloke and he finds out later that you cheated in the first few weeks, it could really damage your relationship. Why would you risk that?
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    AddisonianAddisonian Posts: 16,377
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    #23
    Do you honestly expect anyone to believe this?

    I hope for your sake that it is a tall tale because, if not, you sound like a revolting person.
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    Bex_123Bex_123 Posts: 10,783
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    #24
    Addisonian wrote: »
    Do you honestly expect anyone to believe this?

    I hope for your sake that it is a tall tale because, if not, you sound like a revolting person.

    Yeah...
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    Steve™Steve™ Posts: 7,286
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    #25
    thaliafan wrote: »
    Question of the day : how long does it take to become "official" with somebody?

    I've been dating a guy for a month, but it's hardly love. However, the idea of being with someone else (we haven't slept together yet, FYI!) finally seems an alien idea.

    Looking forward to interesting responses and stories!

    Thaliafan


    A month and you haven't slept together??!! :o

    What are you finding to do???!!!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,899
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    #26
    thaliafan wrote: »
    Thanks to everybody for their input into this discussion!

    Just to tell you what happened - I was a naughty boy. A dirty dog. I left the party and went back home with my friend's new housemate; and we went all the way! It was very weird, he got all strange and jittery afterwards (saying that he's still straight) so I just left in quite a huff with no dignity attached. He wanted me to stay and drink (he even got my music up on Youtube! Complete mood killer lol) but the fact he was ashamed and that I must sleep in the living room was too much for me to handle.

    But I am not too bothered about that, or being with someone intermittently. Wouldn't have played it differently, but now I am staying with one man. I texted him this morning that it would all stay a secret. No response yet! :/

    Thanks DS!
    Go and do your homework, get your stuff ready for school and stop making posts like this which isn't true.
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