Michael Palin post lovely message on his Facebook,
Terry J has been my close friend and workmate for over fifty years. The progress of his dementia has been painful to watch and the news announced yesterday that he has a type of aphasia which is gradually depriving him of the ability to speak is about the cruellest thing that could befall someone to whom words, ideas, arguments, jokes and stories were once the stuff of life. Not that Terry is out of circulation. He spends time with his family and only two days ago I met up with him for one of our regular meals at his local pub. Howard Johnson, an American friend of Python, was in town and took this picture. Terry doesn’t say very much but he smiles, laughs, recognises and responds, and I’m always pleased to see him. Long may that last.
let's hope he can stay a very naughty boy for a few years yet :cool:
Michael Palin post lovely message on his Facebook,
Terry J has been my close friend and workmate for over fifty years. The progress of his dementia has been painful to watch and the news announced yesterday that he has a type of aphasia which is gradually depriving him of the ability to speak is about the cruellest thing that could befall someone to whom words, ideas, arguments, jokes and stories were once the stuff of life. Not that Terry is out of circulation. He spends time with his family and only two days ago I met up with him for one of our regular meals at his local pub. Howard Johnson, an American friend of Python, was in town and took this picture. Terry doesn’t say very much but he smiles, laughs, recognises and responds, and I’m always pleased to see him. Long may that last.
Thank you for this - I've posted my best wishes on Mr Palin's Facebook page (joined by many other people, an indication of how much Terry J is loved, methinks )
The Alzheimer's Society are trying to get the message across that a diagnosis of dementia doesn't mean sitting in a chair with a blanket on your knees- those who live with a diagnosis of dementia can still live a happy and active life for years. It is sad news, but Terry is still with his family and his fans. He just needs to be understood in a different way.
The Alzheimer's Society are trying to get the message across that a diagnosis of dementia doesn't mean sitting in a chair with a blanket on your knees- those who live with a diagnosis of dementia can still live a happy and active life for years. It is sad news, but Terry is still with his family and his fans. He just needs to be understood in a different way.
No. Depending on how rapidly his particular form of dementia advances, there will be a while before he moves to the sitting in a chair, blanket on the knee stage. But it's still a difficult thing for the person and their family to cope with so I do hate the cliches and the rosy picture of life with dementia the Alzheimer's Society comes out with sometimes.
Sorry to be a downer and I don't mean to snipe but when you've lived with it 24/7 from start to nearly finish you do feel a bit t'd off with people boiling it down to "people needing to be understood differently."
Sorry, maybe I should have said "some people just need to be understood in a different way"
I work with people with dementia and it is a really lovely job. It is hard sometimes to remember that for the relatives of the person I know so well, because I'm at work with them all day- that this person is no longer the person they knew and loved, and that even though I see them in one way, their relatives are always looking for the person they knew.
Sorry, maybe I should have said "some people just need to be understood in a different way"
I work with people with dementia and it is a really lovely job. It is hard sometimes to remember that for the relatives of the person I know so well, because I'm at work with them all day- that this person is no longer the person they knew and loved, and that even though I see them in one way, their relatives are always looking for the person they knew.
Sorry I wasn't getting at you specifically. And anybody who works with people suffering from Dementia is doing a great job. But it's just that when you've been a carer for a relative at home for a long time you get inundated with people spouting all sorts of advice that show they haven't the first notion of what it's really like. So I get a bit touchy.
Caring for a relative with dementia is such a rollercoaster. You love them and want to care for them and wouldn't have it any other way, But when you've had next to no sleep for days because they get up eight times each night and start getting dressed wanting to "go out" you honestly feel you want to scream at them even though you know they can't help it. Likewise when you have to change sheets at 3am in the morning because of "accidents" and when your back is turned for a few minutes and they unload the entire box of tea bags into the teapot and fill it up with cold water.
Then when they have their quiet moments and smile at you or hold your hand and you see in their eyes the person they used to be it breaks your heart.
And when they (a person who never swore) tell the Dr to F off with their blood pressure monitor it make you laugh out loud.
So yeah dealing with dementia is experiencing every emotion - on a daily basis. And yes you're right it is always a struggle not to yearn for who they once were.
Amelia,its such a weird disease, because I can and have worked with people who have dementia for years and everyone thinks I'm so patient but I know I could not care for a relative with it for five minutes. I admire the families who work so hard and get very little credit or help for what they do.
Amelia,its such a weird disease, because I can and have worked with people who have dementia for years and everyone thinks I'm so patient but I know I could not care for a relative with it for five minutes. I admire the families who work so hard and get very little credit or help for what they do.
Thanks Fillia. And now I will stop banging on. I've taken up way to much of this thread already. 😀 I shouldn't have posted on it in the first place as its too close to home and therefore hard not to end up boring the pants of everyone with my personal story.
So ......... back on topic. It was nice to see the photo of Terry Jones with Michael Palin. Let's hope he's able to enjoy being with friends and family for a long time yet.
I think it's good that you posted what you did. Dementia is an illness that robs us of our friends, and gives different people new friends. In my experience. The pain that the illness causes should not be forgotten though.
I wonder what his wife thinks? She marries this much older man, has his kid and then he gets dementia. Must be awful for all of them.
Well 40years is an enormous age gap so she must have been aware that something like this might happen. I do feel sorry for their little daughter though. She is seven so old enough to be aware that her Dad is ill but very young to have to deal with all the changes it will bring to their relationship.
Her Mum will be young enough to marry again in time but you only get one Dad so it's very sad to effectively lose him at such a young age.
Well 40years is an enormous age gap so she must have been aware that something like this might happen. I do feel sorry for their little daughter though. She is seven so old enough to be aware that her Dad is ill but very young to have to deal with all the changes it will bring to their relationship.
Her Mum will be young enough to marry again in time but you only get one Dad so it's very sad to effectively lose him at such a young age.
It sounds a bit weird saying it, but I wonder what the ex-wife thinks? I don't know how close they are - or whether they're still on reasonable terms - and no doubt she'll be very upset about what's happened to him - but presumably she's not going to have to look after him when his situation deteriorates. On some deeper, guilty level, is she saying to herself 'I dodged a bullet there'?
My dad had dementia - and I saw first hand what a strain it was on my mum, having to look after him.
It sounds a bit weird saying it, but I wonder what the ex-wife thinks? I don't know how close they are - or whether they're still on reasonable terms - and no doubt she'll be very upset about what's happened to him - but presumably she's not going to have to look after him when his situation deteriorates. On some deeper, guilty level, is she saying to herself 'I dodged a bullet there'?
I guess it's possible as his condition worsens he might forget his divorce and second marriage altogether which might make things awkward.
Thanks Fillia. And now I will stop banging on. I've taken up way to much of this thread already. 😀 I shouldn't have posted on it in the first place as its too close to home and therefore hard not to end up boring the pants of everyone with my personal story.
So ......... back on topic. It was nice to see the photo of Terry Jones with Michael Palin. Let's hope he's able to enjoy being with friends and family for a long time yet.
No need to have any regret amelia.
Much love to you. xx
On a lighter note has anyone read the delightful story of Teddy Mac's recording contract?
Very sad, I went to the second of Monty Python's shows at the O2 in 2014 and there didn't seem to be any sign of his illness then. Saying that, I'm in no way an expert in this sort of thing so maybe he had it then and only a few people knew about it, otherwise it has been a very swift decline judging by that video.
Very sad, I went to the second of Monty Python's shows at the O2 in 2014 and there didn't seem to be any sign of his illness then. Saying that, I'm in no way an expert in this sort of thing so maybe he had it then and only a few people knew about it, otherwise it has been a very swift decline judging by that video.
I didn't see the performance live, although I saw most of the television broadcast of the final night - and I do remember thinking that Terry Jones looked a little 'lost' at times. There was a documentary about their 'comeback' and in that he said he had trouble remembering his lines. Perhaps he was experiencing the early stages of the condition even then?
Comments
let's hope he can stay a very naughty boy for a few years yet :cool:
Thank you for this - I've posted my best wishes on Mr Palin's Facebook page (joined by many other people, an indication of how much Terry J is loved, methinks
No. Depending on how rapidly his particular form of dementia advances, there will be a while before he moves to the sitting in a chair, blanket on the knee stage. But it's still a difficult thing for the person and their family to cope with so I do hate the cliches and the rosy picture of life with dementia the Alzheimer's Society comes out with sometimes.
Sorry to be a downer and I don't mean to snipe but when you've lived with it 24/7 from start to nearly finish you do feel a bit t'd off with people boiling it down to "people needing to be understood differently."
I work with people with dementia and it is a really lovely job. It is hard sometimes to remember that for the relatives of the person I know so well, because I'm at work with them all day- that this person is no longer the person they knew and loved, and that even though I see them in one way, their relatives are always looking for the person they knew.
Sorry I wasn't getting at you specifically. And anybody who works with people suffering from Dementia is doing a great job. But it's just that when you've been a carer for a relative at home for a long time you get inundated with people spouting all sorts of advice that show they haven't the first notion of what it's really like. So I get a bit touchy.
Caring for a relative with dementia is such a rollercoaster. You love them and want to care for them and wouldn't have it any other way, But when you've had next to no sleep for days because they get up eight times each night and start getting dressed wanting to "go out" you honestly feel you want to scream at them even though you know they can't help it. Likewise when you have to change sheets at 3am in the morning because of "accidents" and when your back is turned for a few minutes and they unload the entire box of tea bags into the teapot and fill it up with cold water.
Then when they have their quiet moments and smile at you or hold your hand and you see in their eyes the person they used to be it breaks your heart.
And when they (a person who never swore) tell the Dr to F off with their blood pressure monitor it make you laugh out loud.
So yeah dealing with dementia is experiencing every emotion - on a daily basis. And yes you're right it is always a struggle not to yearn for who they once were.
Thanks Fillia. And now I will stop banging on. I've taken up way to much of this thread already. 😀 I shouldn't have posted on it in the first place as its too close to home and therefore hard not to end up boring the pants of everyone with my personal story.
So ......... back on topic. It was nice to see the photo of Terry Jones with Michael Palin. Let's hope he's able to enjoy being with friends and family for a long time yet.
Well 40years is an enormous age gap so she must have been aware that something like this might happen. I do feel sorry for their little daughter though. She is seven so old enough to be aware that her Dad is ill but very young to have to deal with all the changes it will bring to their relationship.
Her Mum will be young enough to marry again in time but you only get one Dad so it's very sad to effectively lose him at such a young age.
It sounds a bit weird saying it, but I wonder what the ex-wife thinks? I don't know how close they are - or whether they're still on reasonable terms - and no doubt she'll be very upset about what's happened to him - but presumably she's not going to have to look after him when his situation deteriorates. On some deeper, guilty level, is she saying to herself 'I dodged a bullet there'?
My dad had dementia - and I saw first hand what a strain it was on my mum, having to look after him.
I guess it's possible as his condition worsens he might forget his divorce and second marriage altogether which might make things awkward.
No need to have any regret amelia.
Much love to you. xx
On a lighter note has anyone read the delightful story of Teddy Mac's recording contract?
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/news_article.php?newsID=2660
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UQ5mjFzHTA
and you can buy it from Amazon. Cummon folks just buy it now.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Make-Me-Feel-Young/dp/B01LWVFQSQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1475222960&sr=8-1&keywords=You+Make+Me+Feel+So+Young
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/were-proud-him-monty-python-8968117
Very sad, I went to the second of Monty Python's shows at the O2 in 2014 and there didn't seem to be any sign of his illness then. Saying that, I'm in no way an expert in this sort of thing so maybe he had it then and only a few people knew about it, otherwise it has been a very swift decline judging by that video.
I didn't see the performance live, although I saw most of the television broadcast of the final night - and I do remember thinking that Terry Jones looked a little 'lost' at times. There was a documentary about their 'comeback' and in that he said he had trouble remembering his lines. Perhaps he was experiencing the early stages of the condition even then?
Another legend.
https://forums.digitalspy.com/discussion/2367650/terry-jones-rip#latest