Good job they're not living in Victorian times when a man could be sued in court for breach of promise if he broke off an engagement. Although I'm not sure how many spurned maidens actually took this course of action - I'd guess that it wouldn't do their social standing much good!
What about it? Some couples just decide to get engaged without a proposal. Some even decide to get married without getting engaged.
Yeah I get that these things aren't a big deal to some people, which I respect, some people are indifferent to rings and romance, each to their own... What I don't 'get' is this "we're getting engaged at my birthday party, xmas, valentines day" thing.
Of the married / engaged friends that I have I think that there was only 1 "proposal"... The rest all sort of discussed it and decided that they were going to get married.
Some of them considered themselves engaged after that, some didn't consider themselves engaged until they had the ring on their finger.
Of the married / engaged friends that I have I think that there was only 1 "proposal"... [/B]The rest all sort of discussed it and decided that they were going to get married.
Some of them considered themselves engaged after that, some didn't consider themselves engaged until they had the ring on their finger.
I'd personally be a bit miffed if my OH's proposal consisted of a "sort of discussion". I need at least a bit of romance in my life!
Yeah I get that these things aren't a big deal to some people, which I respect, some people are indifferent to rings and romance, each to their own... What I don't 'get' is this "we're getting engaged at my birthday party, xmas, valentines day" thing.
I would hazard a guess and say in that case, they are intending to announce their engagement to everybody at whatever time they have said.
I'd personally be a bit miffed if my OH's proposal consisted of a "sort of discussion". I need at least a bit of romance in my life!
Same here... I can see why couples might discuss marriage in the sense of seeing if they're on the same wavelength regarding it, but that shouldn't be in place of a "proper" proposal.
Some people are just ignorant and don't understand what an engagement really means. More than once I've heard some daft bimbo saying "I'd get engaged to him, but I wouldn't marry him".
I'm with the OP, some discussion or idea of marriage at least is what makes it an engagement. Even if it's that decisions will be made in x months.
I held off engagement for months because we had so much else to sort such as moving house etc before we could do wedding plans. I guess that put us in the whole waiting for the ring category but even making announcement of engagement was just too much to sort at the time, and knowing people would want answers. Meh.
I got engaged in July of this year and have planned loads with my fiancé even though it will be 2015 when we get wed , however a friend got engaged after me and has told everyone she has no intention of getting married which I find very strange and so does her family
I'd personally be a bit miffed if my OH's proposal consisted of a "sort of discussion". I need at least a bit of romance in my life!
We had a 'sort of discussion' before we got married...
Me: 'My decree absolute is through'.
Him (passing me a fiver): 'Got to go to work now, but take this and get off down to the registry office on the bus and see what date they can give us. And I'll need the change back.'
Romance? What's all that about then?
I expect the people who say they'll be getting engaged on birthdays/valentines etc already think of themselves as engaged, but are using the occasion to make a public announcement of the fact. If you've snagged a bloke who can afford to treat you to a Dayrider ticket then you're going to want to flaunt such a dazzling status symbol
Of course there are many cases where the man has, under pressure to show commitment, given a woman an engagement ring without any real intention to get married.
Of course there are many cases where the man has, under pressure to show commitment, given a woman an engagement ring without any real intention to get married.
And probably just as many cases where a woman under pressure has accepted one while feeling the same way.
Im one of these technically engaged but not officially engaged people. We had a discussion between us about going on holiday and getting married while we are there. We both decided that when we do book a holiday we are going to vegas and getting married will be part of it.
So in that sense i guess you could say we are engaged as we intend to marry, hopefully next year although we havent booked anything yet.
But on the other hand there was no suprise proposal and no ring. We havent told anyone because we dont intend on inviting anyone. So it seems a bit cruel to tell family and friends but then tell them nobody will be invited.
So im not really sure what im classed as. In the closet engaged?
First time I got engaged, we were engaged for eight years but never actually got married. I was very young at the time so never regretted not following it through to a wedding.
Second time I got engaged it was for just six months, but we just went and got married, no fancy do or anything so didn't have to save up for it. Sometimes I think couples get engaged just for an 'event' in their lives, a nice bit of jewellery and a bit of a party, rather than what it really used to mean traditionally.
A neighbour just told me her son has got engaged and I said 'oh that's great. Give him my congratulations' etc. Then I asked when they were planning to get married and she looked surprised and said 'oh they've no plans yet'. I mean, what's the point of announcing you're engaged if you're not actually planning to get married?
It's a sign of commitment to the person. Not everyone is able to - or even wants to - set a date right away.
See, I'm the opposite I think. My wedding is booked but I still don't see myself as being officially engaged. We talked about getting married and decided 2015 would be the best year for us. One night we were having a few drinks and decided to have a wee look at venues. There was no intent at that point to book but we seen one we fell in love with so went and viewed it and booked it. However my OH still wants to do a nice romantic proposal even if he knows the answer. Unfortunately he cant afford the ring atm as we've had to make 2 payments for the venue so far. So as soon as he can afford the ring he's going to get it and propose properly when I'm not expecting it. So it's like we are engaged but we don't say that yet until I have the ring. I'm more than happy to wait though as I know I'm getting married, the wedding is booked so I don't need the ring on my finger to tell me that. Hope I haven't drifted off point, I just got rather excited there as I was writing that
We got engaged and discussed possible times for weddings on the train on the way home. By the time we got to his mum's house to break the news, we had a rough idea of the time of year we wanted for our wedding.
I agree re people announcing their plans to 'get engaged'. Surely the engagement is the announcement - why announce your intention to make an announcement?
I agree re people announcing their plans to 'get engaged'. Surely the engagement is the announcement - why announce your intention to make an announcement?
There was a new girl at work the other week who, when we were talkinh about xmas told me "im hoping to get engaged for xmas". Apparently shes been with her boyfriend for 6 months so shes hopeful that hes going to get her an engagement ring for xmas.
It sounded it a bit odd to me. Its probably something most people would think but it just sounded odd hearing someone tell a stranger.
Btw how long does it take to get a wedding dress? Someone got engaged at the weekend (suprise, not planned) and shes already made an appointment to try on dresses and get measured and everything later this week! But she thinks it will be at least 2 years until they get married.
See, I'm the opposite I think. My wedding is booked but I still don't see myself as being officially engaged. We talked about getting married and decided 2015 would be the best year for us. One night we were having a few drinks and decided to have a wee look at venues. There was no intent at that point to book but we seen one we fell in love with so went and viewed it and booked it. However my OH still wants to do a nice romantic proposal even if he knows the answer. Unfortunately he cant afford the ring atm as we've had to make 2 payments for the venue so far. So as soon as he can afford the ring he's going to get it and propose properly when I'm not expecting it. So it's like we are engaged but we don't say that yet until I have the ring. I'm more than happy to wait though as I know I'm getting married, the wedding is booked so I don't need the ring on my finger to tell me that. Hope I haven't drifted off point, I just got rather excited there as I was writing that
But surely being engaged is about the intent to marry which in your case is shown by the fact that you've chosen and booked a venue, its not about whether you have a ring or not yet.
Comments
Yeah I get that these things aren't a big deal to some people, which I respect, some people are indifferent to rings and romance, each to their own... What I don't 'get' is this "we're getting engaged at my birthday party, xmas, valentines day" thing.
Of the married / engaged friends that I have I think that there was only 1 "proposal"... The rest all sort of discussed it and decided that they were going to get married.
Some of them considered themselves engaged after that, some didn't consider themselves engaged until they had the ring on their finger.
I'd personally be a bit miffed if my OH's proposal consisted of a "sort of discussion". I need at least a bit of romance in my life!
I would hazard a guess and say in that case, they are intending to announce their engagement to everybody at whatever time they have said.
Same here... I can see why couples might discuss marriage in the sense of seeing if they're on the same wavelength regarding it, but that shouldn't be in place of a "proper" proposal.
Well why not say that then?
I held off engagement for months because we had so much else to sort such as moving house etc before we could do wedding plans. I guess that put us in the whole waiting for the ring category but even making announcement of engagement was just too much to sort at the time, and knowing people would want answers. Meh.
Also a lot nearer to date.
I believe George Best was sued for breach of contract about 1970.
Wouldn't have thought that with our George.:)
It also puzzles me. You are engaged the moment that there an agreement to get married
We had a 'sort of discussion' before we got married...
Me: 'My decree absolute is through'.
Him (passing me a fiver): 'Got to go to work now, but take this and get off down to the registry office on the bus and see what date they can give us. And I'll need the change back.'
Romance? What's all that about then?
I expect the people who say they'll be getting engaged on birthdays/valentines etc already think of themselves as engaged, but are using the occasion to make a public announcement of the fact. If you've snagged a bloke who can afford to treat you to a Dayrider ticket then you're going to want to flaunt such a dazzling status symbol
And probably just as many cases where a woman under pressure has accepted one while feeling the same way.
So in that sense i guess you could say we are engaged as we intend to marry, hopefully next year although we havent booked anything yet.
But on the other hand there was no suprise proposal and no ring. We havent told anyone because we dont intend on inviting anyone. So it seems a bit cruel to tell family and friends but then tell them nobody will be invited.
So im not really sure what im classed as. In the closet engaged?
Second time I got engaged it was for just six months, but we just went and got married, no fancy do or anything so didn't have to save up for it. Sometimes I think couples get engaged just for an 'event' in their lives, a nice bit of jewellery and a bit of a party, rather than what it really used to mean traditionally.
But you can't have a party and get lots of lovely presents that way.
There was a new girl at work the other week who, when we were talkinh about xmas told me "im hoping to get engaged for xmas". Apparently shes been with her boyfriend for 6 months so shes hopeful that hes going to get her an engagement ring for xmas.
It sounded it a bit odd to me. Its probably something most people would think but it just sounded odd hearing someone tell a stranger.
Btw how long does it take to get a wedding dress? Someone got engaged at the weekend (suprise, not planned) and shes already made an appointment to try on dresses and get measured and everything later this week! But she thinks it will be at least 2 years until they get married.
But surely being engaged is about the intent to marry which in your case is shown by the fact that you've chosen and booked a venue, its not about whether you have a ring or not yet.