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Crush turned into an obsession?
Just Vogue
Posts: 759 Forum Member
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Okay, sorry that this is quite long but it's something I am genuinely concerned about.
First of all, a bit of background... Basically there's this guy in my year at college who I've had a crush on for the best part of a year. It started off in a really weird way, I had only just accepted that I was gay. He insulted me (Called me a f*ggot in a jokey way or something, I don't remember exactly now!) and I got quite offended. He then told me that he was gay. To be honest he's not the most attractive of people, but the way in which he is so confident in his sexuality really made me like him. Initially I didn't know anything about him, and to be quite honest I still don't. I sort of forced myself to like him for some reason. I guess I was desperate and thought that he was ... easy....
:o Initially he started flirting with me quite a bit too, knowing that I was gay he probably thought the same thing I did and that we could be together. But that changed, he didn't show much interest in me.
Another thing worth mentioning is that we have kissed when drunk a few times....but every time afterwards he's made it very clear that he doesn't want a relationship and that it was a huge mistake.
Now that'd all be fine if the feelings I had for him weren't so intense and had gone away sooner. But I don't seem to be able to drop it. I literally have fantasied about him being my boyfriend for a year. No matter what I do the thought is there just lingering. I can't not see him regularly because I see him all the time, so that's not an option. The worst part is that I quite often go out of my way to spend time with him, although spending time with him amounts to little more than being in the same room as he is in.
I get stressed at the best of times but whenever he's around I am literally unable to do anything else. It's quite problematic because it is stopping me from functioning properly socially..I also get really jealous although I know that I have absolutely nothing to be jealous of. For example if I know that he's gone out to a party then I'll be super angry/stressed and it will ruin my entire evening. I know this isn't logical but I can't stop myself from thinking these things.
I'm not sure what's wrong with me, does anybody else ever have super crushes where they get too emotionally attached? What can I do to stop it?
First of all, a bit of background... Basically there's this guy in my year at college who I've had a crush on for the best part of a year. It started off in a really weird way, I had only just accepted that I was gay. He insulted me (Called me a f*ggot in a jokey way or something, I don't remember exactly now!) and I got quite offended. He then told me that he was gay. To be honest he's not the most attractive of people, but the way in which he is so confident in his sexuality really made me like him. Initially I didn't know anything about him, and to be quite honest I still don't. I sort of forced myself to like him for some reason. I guess I was desperate and thought that he was ... easy....
:o Initially he started flirting with me quite a bit too, knowing that I was gay he probably thought the same thing I did and that we could be together. But that changed, he didn't show much interest in me.Another thing worth mentioning is that we have kissed when drunk a few times....but every time afterwards he's made it very clear that he doesn't want a relationship and that it was a huge mistake.
Now that'd all be fine if the feelings I had for him weren't so intense and had gone away sooner. But I don't seem to be able to drop it. I literally have fantasied about him being my boyfriend for a year. No matter what I do the thought is there just lingering. I can't not see him regularly because I see him all the time, so that's not an option. The worst part is that I quite often go out of my way to spend time with him, although spending time with him amounts to little more than being in the same room as he is in.
I get stressed at the best of times but whenever he's around I am literally unable to do anything else. It's quite problematic because it is stopping me from functioning properly socially..I also get really jealous although I know that I have absolutely nothing to be jealous of. For example if I know that he's gone out to a party then I'll be super angry/stressed and it will ruin my entire evening. I know this isn't logical but I can't stop myself from thinking these things.
I'm not sure what's wrong with me, does anybody else ever have super crushes where they get too emotionally attached? What can I do to stop it?
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And it may not seem like it, but if its not meant to be with yourself and this guy, you will get over it eventually! xx
Unrequited love is crap. And the only way you can get someone out your head is to not see them.
Out of sight out if mind. It works. It takes time but it works.
i agree with this. Slightly different as im straight but i used to fancy a boy in our friend group. It became public knowledge so everyone knew about it. Nothing ever happened between us as he rejected me. I moved on and am now with someone else and happy.
The problem is everytime we meet up in a group his partner becomes possesive and likes to rub it in that she got to be with him and i didnt. Now im completely over him but its irritating when shes purposly trying to make me jealous even though im not bothered.
So i think you should still be friends with him if you want but dont ignore other potential partners in the hope that he will decide he does want you.