I think it's normal to be upset by an unwarranted comment. I don't mind being insulted if I've done something to deserve it, but a mean comment from someone (especially a stranger) really stings! That said, once the initial 'Oh, you b*tch / t*sser!' moment has worn off, try not to carry it with you. It's their opinion and it doesn't mean it's true.
I can't pretend to understand teenage boys at all. An ex-pupil of mine in year 11 left school the same time as I left my teaching job. He was very respectful in class, despite being part of 'the unteachables' class. I saw him once when I was driving home and he was on his college bus - he took out his mobile phone and began filming me, waved at me then stuck his Vs up at me. The filming me creeped me out - I hate the idea of ending up on Youtube with a load of insulting captions underneath it, and I had no control of the situation beyond accelerating away asap.
Since then he's started a job at a supermarket in my home town. The other week I had to go to a till - and was told to wait as a new one was opening up. As he saw me waiting there he went bright red. I didn't mention it, but he blurted out "That was my twin brother you saw on the bus last week Miss. Wasn't me, honest. I was good for you in class, weren't I?" He was mortified! I think peer pressure and wanting to be a 'bad lad' plays a large part in it.
Other lads I've taught have been lovely to me in school - christmas cards, asking to shake your hand at the end of term - and have since hidden their faces to avoid looking at me. Seems they can go from lovely to loutish in 60 seconds!
This Not so much silly because anyone being nasty about you can hurt, but take no bloody notice, kids are cruel and thoughtless, just laugh and think how immature they are despite almost being adults!
And if your son is upset, tell him to get some nicer friends. Hope he stuck up for you, if anyone said anything like that about my mum, I'd have decked them!
My son once thumped a boy for saying ther macaroni I made wasn't as good as his Mum's. He was 7 at the time.
Just be glad your sn and these brats didn't come to blows. Odd that both boys should be so ill mannered and unkind - It seems to me that this pair were trying to provoke your son as criticising a mate's Mum like that is a definite no-no among friends.
I don't think you're being too sensitive. I think you and your son sound lovely. The unkind comments were made by unpleasant individuals. I'm so sorry you've been upset. There's loads of nice people in the world, but also some not so nice ones. You're right to stay away from anyone who cannot be pleasant.
Ok, are you ugly? If so, then he was merely pointing it out and not trying to insult you or your pansy son so stop complaining and put down the comfort food.
Easier said than done I know...but try to take no notice. The things my daughters mates have said about me. Some kids are horrible.
One of my daughters friends really hit a nerve by going round saying I was a nutter and should be sectioned. But, to be fair, I had wrapped the parrot up in a tea towel and pretended he was the baby Jesus.
Easier said than done I know...but try to take no notice. The things my daughters mates have said about me. Some kids are horrible.
One of my daughters friends really hit a nerve by going round saying I was a nutter and should be sectioned. But, to be fair, I had wrapped the parrot up in a tea towel and pretended he was the baby Jesus.
I'd bloody love you for doing that!
I am absolutely gobsmacked by the casual acceptance of appalling behaviour as a norm. It's like oh yeh kids are kids.Wtf!
If I caught my children slagging off someone's mum I'd lock them in the cellar & starve them. When they were begging for food & air I'd send them round to apologise.
You came across as a bit sensitive to be honest. At 17 your son is not a child and to be frank he came across as a bit sensitive too.
Life is full of hard knocks and this really isn't one of them.
Some people are hyper sensitive though and I think life must be tough for them.
If my 17 year old got upset because someone was unpleasant about me I'd tell him to grow a pair and rather than whinging after the event wonder why he didn't react at the time.
Children need to be able to stand up for themselves and others or else they just become fodder for bullies.
As I said I don't want to be harsh as we can't help our personality traits, however in your sons case I wonder how much of their 'sensitivity' is learnt behaviour.
Sorry
So on your topsyturvey planet sensitivity is a negative??
OP: Ignore these boys' comments, they're oiks. Your son sounds lovely.
So on your topsyturvey planet sensitivity is a negative??
OP: Ignore these boys' comments, they're oiks. Your son sounds lovely.
I see you decided to edit
You clearly realised what you said was completely wrong
I don't think sensitivity is necessarily a negative but the feeling it has invoked certainly are.
You can't change the ill behaviour of rude children however unfair that is. Letting them upset you to the degree it has upset the OP and her sons is just compounding the sadness.
You clearly realised what you said was completely wrong
I don't think sensitivity is necessarily a negative but the feeling it has invoked certainly are.
You can't change the ill behaviour of rude children however unfair that is. Letting them upset you to the degree it has upset the OP and her sons is just compounding the sadness.
No not at all, I cut it down because I could say the same much more succinctly.
I didn't alter the comment to you though, as you well know.
Easier said than done I know...but try to take no notice. The things my daughters mates have said about me. Some kids are horrible.
One of my daughters friends really hit a nerve by going round saying I was a nutter and should be sectioned. But, to be fair, I had wrapped the parrot up in a tea towel and pretended he was the baby Jesus.
The more you post about your moments of madness the more I love you for the way you deal with it.
Kids are cruel, tactless and hurtful. It's only as they get older and more versed in the ways of the world, they realise it is not nice to be needlessly rude.
I don't think sensitivity is necessarily a negative but the feeling it has invoked certainly are.
Well yeah because abuse upsets some people - her feelings are negative because the comments were negative. It's not sensitivity that's the problem it's the total lack of manners of the children.
It's true that the comments are meaningless & she shouldn't take them to heart. But the OP's obviously not used to kids being so abusive & who's to say she's not entitled to be upset.
Easier said than done I know...but try to take no notice. The things my daughters mates have said about me. Some kids are horrible.
One of my daughters friends really hit a nerve by going round saying I was a nutter and should be sectioned. But, to be fair, I had wrapped the parrot up in a tea towel and pretended he was the baby Jesus.
Well yeah because abuse upsets some people - her feelings are negative because the comments were negative. It's not sensitivity that's the problem it's the total lack of manners of the children.
It's true that the comments are meaningless & she shouldn't take them to heart. But the OP's obviously not used to kids being so abusive & who's to say she's not entitled to be upset.
I thought your comments were really insensitive.
and I clearly asked the OP if she wanted to hear them before I posted.
Easier said than done I know...but try to take no notice. The things my daughters mates have said about me. Some kids are horrible.
One of my daughters friends really hit a nerve by going round saying I was a nutter and should be sectioned. But, to be fair, I had wrapped the parrot up in a tea towel and pretended he was the baby Jesus.
OP - I can see why you would be upset, but I think this is just an extension of the 'Yo Mama...' style of 'banter' that young folk have these days and obviously, in your position as the Mama, it does seem a bit hurtful but I'm sure that they don't really mean anything by it.
Rise above it, and be glad that you have got boys that care so much about what people are saying about their Mum..
Ok, are you ugly? If so, then he was merely pointing it out and not trying to insult you or your pansy son so stop complaining and put down the comfort food.
So you're one of those unpleasant types then. You sound awful.
You came across as a bit sensitive to be honest. At 17 your son is not a child and to be frank he came across as a bit sensitive too.
Life is full of hard knocks and this really isn't one of them.
Some people are hyper sensitive though and I think life must be tough for them.
If my 17 year old got upset because someone was unpleasant about me I'd tell him to grow a pair and rather than whinging after the event wonder why he didn't react at the time.
Children need to be able to stand up for themselves and others or else they just become fodder for bullies.
As I said I don't want to be harsh as we can't help our personality traits, however in your sons case I wonder how much of their 'sensitivity' is learnt behaviour.
Sorry
Well I asked for it Are you male or female I wonder? Actually I did ask him if he had said anything back to his friend at the time and he did. His subsequent actions of cooling off towards this person and not inviting him around again also proved to me that he had "grown a pair" as you put it, and he was not scared to act on his feelings of discomfort about the situation.
I am a very sensitive person both personally and professionally and that trait carries me along beautifully thank you very much and if I have brought in to the world three young men who have learned to be sensitive from me then that is probably the best I thing I could ever have achieved and long may they continue to be sensitive.
Of course in hindsight I should know that kids behave like this but as I said previously, there are other things going on which have made me.... oops there it is again...a bit SENSITIVE. In future if someone calls me a fat, ugly, disgusting, moronic, stupid, idiotic, appallingly disgraceful excuse for a human being and a mother...I shall just laugh out loud
Well I asked for it Are you male or female I wonder? Actually I did ask him if he had said anything back to his friend at the time and he did. His subsequent actions of cooling off towards this person and not inviting him around again also proved to me that he had "grown a pair" as you put it, and he was not scared to act on his feelings of discomfort about the situation.
I am a very sensitive person both personally and professionally and that trait carries me along beautifully thank you very much and if I have brought in to the world three young men who have learned to be sensitive from me then that is probably the best I thing I could ever have achieved and long may they continue to be sensitive.
Of course in hindsight I should know that kids behave like this but as I said previously, there are other things going on which have made me.... oops there it is again...a bit SENSITIVE. In future if someone calls me a fat, ugly, disgusting, moronic, stupid, idiotic, appallingly disgraceful excuse for a human being and a mother...I shall just laugh out loud
Janie B..you are not sensitive..you are human..
You felt how any of us would feel..even though deep down you know it is a boy thing (well some boys!)..doesnt mean it doesnt hurt.
I too am a mum of 3 boys and mine all deal differently with things like this..one acts as if he doesnt care (does really but has learnt not to show it)..one would be upset and openly tell them to stop and probably get ridiculed for doing so..the last one is a bit young yet to get any of this..
You cant change how others raise their children..sounds like you have done a good job to me..
Lots of parents out there are fine as long as their child isnt bottom of the heap and they choose to ignore the bad behaviour of their children and make out like everyone should just put up and shut up..Thank goodness not everyone feels this way as it would be a very sad future if they did..
Comments
I can't pretend to understand teenage boys at all. An ex-pupil of mine in year 11 left school the same time as I left my teaching job. He was very respectful in class, despite being part of 'the unteachables' class. I saw him once when I was driving home and he was on his college bus - he took out his mobile phone and began filming me, waved at me then stuck his Vs up at me. The filming me creeped me out - I hate the idea of ending up on Youtube with a load of insulting captions underneath it, and I had no control of the situation beyond accelerating away asap.
Since then he's started a job at a supermarket in my home town. The other week I had to go to a till - and was told to wait as a new one was opening up. As he saw me waiting there he went bright red. I didn't mention it, but he blurted out "That was my twin brother you saw on the bus last week Miss. Wasn't me, honest. I was good for you in class, weren't I?" He was mortified! I think peer pressure and wanting to be a 'bad lad' plays a large part in it.
Other lads I've taught have been lovely to me in school - christmas cards, asking to shake your hand at the end of term - and have since hidden their faces to avoid looking at me. Seems they can go from lovely to loutish in 60 seconds!
Just be glad your sn and these brats didn't come to blows. Odd that both boys should be so ill mannered and unkind - It seems to me that this pair were trying to provoke your son as criticising a mate's Mum like that is a definite no-no among friends.
One of my daughters friends really hit a nerve by going round saying I was a nutter and should be sectioned. But, to be fair, I had wrapped the parrot up in a tea towel and pretended he was the baby Jesus.
I'd bloody love you for doing that!
I am absolutely gobsmacked by the casual acceptance of appalling behaviour as a norm. It's like oh yeh kids are kids.Wtf!
If I caught my children slagging off someone's mum I'd lock them in the cellar & starve them. When they were begging for food & air I'd send them round to apologise.
OP: Ignore these boys' comments, they're oiks. Your son sounds lovely.
I see you decided to edit
You clearly realised what you said was completely wrong
I don't think sensitivity is necessarily a negative but the feeling it has invoked certainly are.
You can't change the ill behaviour of rude children however unfair that is. Letting them upset you to the degree it has upset the OP and her sons is just compounding the sadness.
I didn't alter the comment to you though, as you well know.
Kids are cruel, tactless and hurtful. It's only as they get older and more versed in the ways of the world, they realise it is not nice to be needlessly rude.
It's true that the comments are meaningless & she shouldn't take them to heart. But the OP's obviously not used to kids being so abusive & who's to say she's not entitled to be upset.
I thought your comments were really insensitive.
I think you are my new favourite poster
You most certainly did, you made a comment about my 17 year old son.
The ficticious one of course.....
and I clearly asked the OP if she wanted to hear them before I posted.
See I can do sensitive
LMAO - Post of the day/week/month:D
Er hello? I made no comment about your son - didn't know you had one!
Rise above it, and be glad that you have got boys that care so much about what people are saying about their Mum..
So you're one of those unpleasant types then. You sound awful.
I'd only get paranoid and think you were all stalking me.
OP...how are you feeling about it all today?
I hope Janie's feeling better today, now she's been reassured it's not unheard of for teenagers to make cruel and unnecessarily hurtful remarks.
You beat me to it Joules, I think this must be the mother of the kid in question. Yep as someone said before, learned behaviour! :rolleyes:
Well I asked for it
I am a very sensitive person both personally and professionally and that trait carries me along beautifully thank you very much and if I have brought in to the world three young men who have learned to be sensitive from me then that is probably the best I thing I could ever have achieved and long may they continue to be sensitive.
Of course in hindsight I should know that kids behave like this but as I said previously, there are other things going on which have made me.... oops there it is again...a bit SENSITIVE. In future if someone calls me a fat, ugly, disgusting, moronic, stupid, idiotic, appallingly disgraceful excuse for a human being and a mother...I shall just laugh out loud
Janie B..you are not sensitive..you are human..
You felt how any of us would feel..even though deep down you know it is a boy thing (well some boys!)..doesnt mean it doesnt hurt.
I too am a mum of 3 boys and mine all deal differently with things like this..one acts as if he doesnt care (does really but has learnt not to show it)..one would be upset and openly tell them to stop and probably get ridiculed for doing so..the last one is a bit young yet to get any of this..
You cant change how others raise their children..sounds like you have done a good job to me..
Lots of parents out there are fine as long as their child isnt bottom of the heap and they choose to ignore the bad behaviour of their children and make out like everyone should just put up and shut up..Thank goodness not everyone feels this way as it would be a very sad future if they did..