Is marriage becoming 'preserve of the wealthy'?

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  • jjwalesjjwales Posts: 48,546
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    Why is it felt that two people who love each other need to declare it in public, to somehow "prove" it?

    They don't need to, but many do want to declare their love in front of family and friends. It's a major life event and seems a good enough reason for a big family celebration!
  • GreatGodPanGreatGodPan Posts: 53,186
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    jjwales wrote: »
    They don't need to, but many do want to declare their love in front of family and friends. It's a major life event and seems a good enough reason for a big family celebration!

    So why do they feel the need to get married to do that?

    Love between two people is an ongoing thing - it is not one-off "life event"!
  • jjwalesjjwales Posts: 48,546
    Forum Member
    So why do they feel the need to get married to do that?
    I already said that it's not a matter of need but of choice. Marriage also has legal advantages of course.
    Love between two people is an ongoing thing - it is not one-off "life event"!
    No, but the actual wedding is. Well that's the hope anyway!
  • GreatGodPanGreatGodPan Posts: 53,186
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    jjwales wrote: »
    [1]I already said that it's not a matter of need but of choice. Marriage also has legal advantages of course.


    [2]No, but the actual wedding is. Well that's the hope anyway!

    1. But you said the couple may want to declare their love before family and friends - again, why do they need to go through the marriage ceremony to do that?

    2. But weddings are all to often toe-curlingly embarrassing complete wastes of money!

    (My partner and I were effectively forced to marry because, after 35 years of waiting for a change in pension law so that half of my pension would go to her on my death rather than nothing as a co-habiting couple, nothing had changed and we weren't getting any younger! Neither of us wanted to go through this charade. We just had two witnesses and back 'ome on the bus. We both forget the fact we are "married" most of the time......)
  • jjwalesjjwales Posts: 48,546
    Forum Member
    1. But you said the couple may want to declare their love before family and friends - again, why do they need to go through the marriage ceremony to do that?
    They don't need to, but they choose to because that's the traditional way to do it.
    2. But weddings are all to often toe-curlingly embarrassing complete wastes of money!
    And often they're not. If you don't like them, don't go!
  • justatechjustatech Posts: 976
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    bobcar wrote: »
    Or it could just be that those that are more likely to stick together and raise their children well are more likely to get married in the first place in which case actually getting married has no advantages for the children's upbringing. Also from the first post the richer are more likely to get married than the poor and being rich is likely to be better for the children's upbringing.

    You have to be very careful with statistics as it's very easy to "prove" whatever you want.

    If the statistics came from one report, or from one year or one decade of reports, then I believe that you could question the statistics. But that's not the case. The statistics come from report after report carried out over decades by different organisations with different interests and they ALL give the same conclusion. Marriage is a more stable and beneficial environment to bring up successful children. There is no area for debate on that finding. It is what it is.

    The real question is, what is it about being married that makes it more successful of raising children? Someone has already touched on the possibility that the type of parent who gets married is inherently going to be a better parent. Is that true? More research is needed to establish what the reality is.
  • WokStationWokStation Posts: 23,112
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    Meilie wrote: »
    - Children of parents who are married and live together are most likely to prosper
    Or does the fact that they are more likely to prosper also mean they are more likely to get married? The data cannot say.
    - Children of parents who live together but are not married fair less well
    Or is it that because they are doing less well, they are less likely to marry? Again, the data cannot tell.
    - Children raised in a single parent household fair the worst
    Simply points to "more parents is better than less" and doesn't have anything to do with marriage.
    - Being raised in a large family is almost as bad as being raised in a single parent family, regardless of the parents' relationship status
    Thus the higher the parent: child ratio, the better.

    None of what you cite says marriage *causes* anything, just that there is a link. The data cannot distinguish between cause and effect.
  • WinterLilyWinterLily Posts: 6,304
    Forum Member
    If he's perfect why bother looking for others?

    I believe most women want to get married. They're kidding themselves if they don't.


    Oh dear
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