If that was the motive, then why bother expressing concern for Dawn Lamb when LG wasn't even around? It was clear that DM's behavioral changes were triggered by the discussion with AJ the previous evening, when she told him he couldn't change and he insisted he could. You're right about his heart not being in it, but perhaps you are unfamiliar with the expression "Fake it 'til you make it"? He took a first step in the hope of winning her back. I can't believe that nastiness was the motive; if anything, it seemed to me that LG was being nasty to DM.
Yes, I agree. I thought this was a genuine attempt to prove to himself and to Louisa that he could indeed change, at least enough to get Louisa back. How frustrating that it went right over her head!
When you study what was going on with her leaving,it was largely a posturing..waiting for him to ask her to stay. He is so oblivious and self flagellating that he would never know that. This man views himself as detritus..never deserving what he has...a gorgeous wife, a fine and healthy son...he most certainly viewed her leaving as, "well, it was going to end up that way anyway, because I am involved" Perhaps Louisa doesn't understand how low his self esteem is. I thought her attempt to leave was half assed at best. That "decision to go" was so wishy washy.
I think you are exactly right about what Martin was feeling - --that this was bound to happen and there was no point in trying to change her mind.
I actually do not know how to interpret what Louisa wanted from him. I'm thinking particularly of the scene where she is in the bathroom and he is talking to her through the closed door. But also when she comes out of the house to see him holding James so tenderly. When I saw it initially, it looked to me that she knew exactly how much pain he was in, and she didn't want to see it, for fear that she wouldn't be able to hold out against it. And I think that was her demeanor outside, too. If that's the right take-away, then his telling her that he loved her wouldn't have made any difference, only made things harder for her.
Remember too that he has saved his bacon at the last minute two previous times -- three if you count the S3 proposal. Even Louisa must by now have realized that he doesn't have a great track record on following through with these last minute conversions.
The other interpretation is that she really did think that he didn't love her anymore or want her in his life, and that was the motivation for her deciding to leave. In that case, yes, it might have made a difference. But as I said, I just don't find it plausible that Louisa could come over the space of 3 months to believe that, at least enough to leave without further delving into it.
Her decision to leave was wrong, I believe, even if understandable, but I think she felt a strong need and desire to get away.
Also, I didn't get the feeling that she intended to leave forever. She had just had her husband humiliate her in front of the students and her colleagues, and had just gotten hit by a car. We see that she is holding out hope that he will ask her to stay.
She is an enigma wrapped in a riddle. I am still holding out hope that she will do something remarkable in series 7. The character deserves it after all these years.
As above, I think she is hoping that he won't make her feel even worse by asking her to stay. Agreed -- she did not say to herself -- yet-- that she definitely would not be returning to him. But I think that was a real, live possibility, and they both knew it. Hence Martin's devastation, from which his emotional breakthough stemmed.
I think Louisa is physically and mentally battered by trying to figure out what she wants and what he wants. We can't agree on their motivations, so the writers have done a proper job of scrambling their brains and our brains.
I think I may go to Spain
I guess what I have to believe about Louisa's decision to leave is that it is just as simple as what she said: I'm not happy and I'm not making you happy.
I think she came to feel that Martin, although he loved her, was not capable, for whatever reason, of an intimate relationship,except in brief flashes, and that being so, the burdens of being married were too much for him. And that if he could not be a real husband and intimate partner to her, it was too painful to be with him.
And actually, the very fact that he could not and would not share with her what was profoundly upsetting to him, suggests that, if that is what she thought, she was correct. At that point, he still could not be open to her or with her.
That interpretation makes sense of the pain that both were feeling, as she left.
That realization, that he was incapable of being the husband that she needed, was one that she fought against, but in the end, it was inescapable (to her). That was her "breakthrough." So I think that her decision to leave was quite sincere.
Even so, I still think that her decision to leave, and think things over on her own, was not a good one, as it is probably more conducive to prematurely ending a relationship that could still be salvaged, with work on both their parts. And not giving him a real chance to respond was not fair to Martin.
Hopefully, S7 will see her be willing to give him some kind of chance to show her that he understands what he needs to do and is willing to work at it and make those changes.
I guess what I have to believe about Louisa's decision to leave is that it is just as simple as what she said: I'm not happy and I'm not making you happy.
I think she came to feel that Martin, although he loved her, was not capable, for whatever reason, of an intimate relationship,except in brief flashes, and that being so, the burdens of being married were too much for him. And that if he could not be a real husband and intimate partner to her, it was too painful to be with him.
And actually, the very fact that he could not and would not share with her what was profoundly upsetting to him, suggests that, if that is what she thought, she was correct. At that point, he still could not be open to her or with her.
That interpretation makes sense of the pain that both were feeling, as she left.
That realization, that he was incapable of being the husband that she needed, was one that she fought against, but in the end, it was inescapable (to her). That was her "breakthrough." So I think that her decision to leave was quite sincere.
Even so, I still think that her decision to leave, and think things over on her own, was not a good one, as it is probably more conducive to prematurely ending a relationship that could still be salvaged, with work on both their parts. And not giving him a real chance to respond was not fair to Martin.
Hopefully, S7 will see her be willing to give him some kind of chance to show her that he understands what he needs to do and is willing to work at it and make those changes.
They have established, throughout the series, that Martin knows, if nothing else, that he has the ability to learn. He learned how to take care of James Henry, although now he is facing a whole new frontier in that department. Taking care of an infant is one thing......nurturing a new human being is another. He has told Louisa that he wants to learn to be a good husband because he has not been, up to this point. Early S7 is so very exciting to me because who can teach these attributes. He could be given a manual....when she says this...you say that, but that's too simplistic for someone as intelligent as DM. He needs someone who can give him a whole different set of parameters....one of which will be....what is the other person thinking or feeling. Before you knee jerk react...assess these conditions. DM is so deficient in these skills he may literally have to stop conversations and compute the variables...but you do what you have to do. I am particularly excited and curious to see who will embark on this behavior modification with him...that will be some rugged acting.
Also, I didn't get the feeling that she intended to leave forever. She had just had her husband humiliate her in front of the students and her colleagues, and had just gotten hit by a car. We see that she is holding out hope that he will ask her to stay.
She is an enigma wrapped in a riddle. I am still holding out hope that she will do something remarkable in series 7. The character deserves it after all these years.
When you study what was going on with her leaving,it was largely a posturing..waiting for him to ask her to stay. He is so oblivious and self flagellating that he would never know that. This man views himself as detritus..never deserving what he has...a gorgeous wife, a fine and healthy son...he most certainly viewed her leaving as, "well, it was going to end up that way anyway, because I am involved" Perhaps Louisa doesn't understand how low his self esteem is. I thought her attempt to leave was half assed at best. That "decision to go" was so wishy washy.
Well said dcdmfan and Mofromco. This I think is how I've felt all along. Louisa deserves her chance for resolution as well and at long last, maybe we will get that in S7.
They have established, throughout the series, that Martin knows, if nothing else, that he has the ability to learn. He learned how to take care of James Henry, although now he is facing a whole new frontier in that department. Taking care of an infant is one thing......nurturing a new human being is another. He has told Louisa that he wants to learn to be a good husband because he has not been, up to this point. Early S7 is so very exciting to me because who can teach these attributes. He could be given a manual....when she says this...you say that, but that's too simplistic for someone as intelligent as DM. He needs someone who can give him a whole different set of parameters....one of which will be....what is the other person thinking or feeling. Before you knee jerk react...assess these conditions. DM is so deficient in these skills he may literally have to stop conversations and compute the variables...but you do what you have to do. I am particularly excited and curious to see who will embark on this behavior modification with him...that will be some rugged acting.
I think DM may have the skills if he could just use his questioning skills (used to assess a patient) but apply them to the thinking/feeling area of LGE like he does in the physical symptoms arena of his patients. He has employed questioning with LGE occasionally and often with a good result throughout the various series. It's better communication. I always notice it.
And yes, I think S7 can be incredibly exciting. I can't wait to see how the lovely minds of BP and the writers do it.
In one of the recent things I've read online (a blogger review, I think), it is mentioned by the writer that neither DM or L have put much demand on the other throughout the series. Each waited for the other to say/do something. Looking back, I feel that's true. But in S6, and some s5, there are some demands being made, by L of M, as well as M of L, and JH of both. And those have caused conflict and control issues for both. Just thinking.
Well, I have been watching the older Doc Martin shows - again! lol - and I wish the writers nowadays would make him more personable.
In the older show he had a few saving graces. One of my favorite things was how when he was yelling at someone, the instant he thought there may be a medical problem, he softened and immediately went into "diagnostic mode". Also the show about the teen who wanted breasts. Once she started crying he was instantly finding a way to make it better - the mints were genious!
I dont see why the last two series have been so without those saving graces.
I did love the wedding show this year though. Very well done. I realize this series has become a more serious drama and I guess I will try to go with the flow!
Gotta watch Martin Clunes regardless.
The teen with the problem was being bullied by her "friends." I believe DM empathized with her. He knows what it is like to be bullied.
Although Martin's self-esteem with Louisa was very low, professionally he had the hubris to take over another surgeon's operating theater and perform surgery on his wife. I go back to the psychologists and ask them, can someone transform from extremely low self-esteem personally to extremely high self-esteem professionally? Martin is really "on" professionally but terribly "off" personally. Is this possible? As a lay person I would think that if you had low self esteeem, your career would reflect that. Granted, Martin had a few slips with patients, but he handled his medical responsibilities very well in S. 6 for the most part. The follow on question would be how does Martin transfer that professional self-esteeem to his person life?
I don't think Louisa's shrewish behavior comes from her stress at being a working mother, I think it comes from not being able to get through to Martin.
I'm with Lizzie Force them to talk with each other. Maybe that is why Louisa wanted to go away with him to Spain. She knows they have to have the talk she alluded to 3 series ago when she got him drunk so that they could "talk." They still haven't talked, ye gods, why can't they just talk????????
For me this is part of what makes s6 so very poor and unbelievable - just about all their problems could be solved with a simple discussion.
For me it feels like they've deliberately stretched it out. When I can see the writers trying to achieve something I think the writing isn't very believable or well thought out. It should flow effortlessly and I should be so involved in the story that I don't even think of the writers.
Although Martin's self-esteem with Louisa was very low, professionally he had the hubris to take over another surgeon's operating theater and perform surgery on his wife. I go back to the psychologists and ask them, can someone transform from extremely low self-esteem personally to extremely high self-esteem professionally? Martin is really "on" professionally but terribly "off" personally. Is this possible? As a lay person I would think that if you had low self esteeem, your career would reflect that. Granted, Martin had a few slips with patients, but he handled his medical responsibilities very well in S. 6 for the most part. The follow on question would be how does Martin transfer that professional self-esteeem to his person life?
No I know a few people like that -doctors too, exceptionally good at their work but useless at life.
I think you are exactly right about what Martin was feeling - --that this was bound to happen and there was no point in trying to change her mind.
I actually do not know how to interpret what Louisa wanted from him. I'm thinking particularly of the scene where she is in the bathroom and he is talking to her through the closed door. But also when she comes out of the house to see him holding James so tenderly. When I saw it initially, it looked to me that she knew exactly how much pain he was in, and she didn't want to see it, for fear that she wouldn't be able to hold out against it. And I think that was her demeanor outside, too. If that's the right take-away, then his telling her that he loved her wouldn't have made any difference, only made things harder for her.
Remember too that he has saved his bacon at the last minute two previous times -- three if you count the S3 proposal. Even Louisa must by now have realized that he doesn't have a great track record on following through with these last minute conversions.
The other interpretation is that she really did think that he didn't love her anymore or want her in his life, and that was the motivation for her deciding to leave. In that case, yes, it might have made a difference. But as I said, I just don't find it plausible that Louisa could come over the space of 3 months to believe that, at least enough to leave without further delving into it.
Her decision to leave was wrong, I believe, even if understandable, but I think she felt a strong need and desire to get away.
As above, I think she is hoping that he won't make her feel even worse by asking her to stay. Agreed -- she did not say to herself -- yet-- that she definitely would not be returning to him. But I think that was a real, live possibility, and they both knew it. Hence Martin's devastation, from which his emotional breakthough stemmed.
Yes her decision to leave was wrong, but...
Maybe if they haven't slept together (including on the wedding night) it is more believable that LG might think it was her fault and that DM might no longer want her in his life. A bit more understandable that she'd be getting a bit desperate/convinced that there was no chance of a proper relationship at this stage.
She admits to Margaret that she "doesn't know what she's doing". I really think in the bedroom scene that LG was waiting for DM to say "Don't go". When he doesn't do that and in fact helps to speed her on her way she gives up the the inevitable and goes to Spain.
For me this is part of what makes s6 so very poor and unbelievable - just about all their problems could be solved with a simple discussion.
For me it feels like they've deliberately stretched it out. When I can see the writers trying to achieve something I think the writing isn't very believable or well thought out. It should flow effortlessly and I should be so involved in the story that I don't even think of the writers.
I think they took a huge risk this season in hopes that by doing so they would get a S7. S6 end leaves everyone hanging and if they felt it was indeed going to be the last then why did they do this? I for one already feel cheated by not having a resolution that would wrap the program up and cut clean (like the end of S5 which I thought WAS the end).
I couldn't quite understand why Louisa chose to go to Spain. As we saw in S5, she was not on the best terms with Elinor, even though she did help out in the babystitting department. Did she think she could leave her troubles in Portwenn and escape to warm Spain and everything would be better between her and Martin? Elinor would go into full gear against Martin. What they need is a person who will hear both sides in Portwenn and, clearly apparent, that person is Aunt Ruth.
Yes her decision to leave was wrong, but...
Maybe if they haven't slept together (including on the wedding night) it is more believable that LG might think it was her fault and that DM might no longer want her in his life. A bit more understandable that she'd be getting a bit desperate/convinced that there was no chance of a proper relationship at this stage.
She admits to Margaret that she "doesn't know what she's doing". I really think in the bedroom scene that LG was waiting for DM to say "Don't go". When he doesn't do that and in fact helps to speed her on her way she gives up the the inevitable and goes to Spain.
The downward spiral seemed to happen so quickly and mostly toward the end of the series. It was a little hard to believe how things had fallen apart like that.
Could it be that part of the reason she wanted to run was because of how she felt about herself and how SHE handled some things? Has anyone ever thought that she may feel as unworthy of his love? Maybe the overwhelming feelings of marriage and raising a child have gotten to her too?
Harken back to the beginning of S3 when they talk in his kitchen and she is concerned about her life. She's the one who is upset and he's the calm voice of reason.
With all that is spinning around in their lives, they need to find that place where they could calm each others fears and be each others refuge from the craziness of the village. That's something we've not been shown much of. I think we saw a glimpse of that at the end of S6E1 when their kitchen was abuzz with people and they just looked at each other calmly like there wasn't anyone else in the room and parted to take care of business.
There has all of a sudden become a huge disconnect within that partnership.
The downward spiral seemed to happen so quickly and mostly toward the end of the series. It was a little hard to believe how things had fallen apart like that.
Could it be that part of the reason she wanted to run was because of how she felt about herself and how SHE handled some things? Has anyone ever thought that she may feel as unworthy of his love? Maybe the overwhelming feelings of marriage and raising a child have gotten to her too?
Harken back to the beginning of S3 when they talk in his kitchen and she is concerned about her life. She's the one who is upset and he's the calm voice of reason.
With all that is spinning around in their lives, they need to find that place where they could calm each others fears and be each others refuge from the craziness of the village. That's something we've not been shown much of. I think we saw a glimpse of that at the end of S6E1 when their kitchen was abuzz with people and they just looked at each other calmly like there wasn't anyone else in the room and parted to take care of business.
There has all of a sudden become a huge disconnect within that partnership.
Good points. I agree that she was confused, and almost desperately unhappy at the way things were going. "I'm not happy and I'm not making you happy." What she knows is that they're failing each other as husband and wife. But maybe not why -- is he unhappy with her, now that they're married? Is it her failings that are making him unhappy? or is he just not capable of being a real "husband" to her -- not only physically but emotionally intimate, which I think she really, really wants -- has always wanted -- from him. She needs to get away and think things through, and wants to do this by herself (a mistake, I continue to believe) I suppose because she has no confidence that he will be able to admit that something's wrong, talk about it and be willing to do the emotional work to put things right.
At this juncture, another "I love you" from him is almost beside the point. She is worrying, I think, about whether, despite their love for each other, they are causing each other more pain together than apart.
I am struck by how often the words "husband" and "wife" are used throughout the episode, and their changing context and significance. Because I think that's at the heart of what the problems between them are: they're really not sure of what those words mean, and whether they are, or can, perform those roles.
E1: they skip the vows that would remind them what those words mean, but at their honeymoon getaway, they are delighted to play with those words, to each other, and in the scenes with the old man.
Then later, in E2, we see Louisa proudly using "my husband" -- as her obnoxious guests arrive.
But then, when he doesn't tell her about his blood phobia, we hear her very disappointed "but I'm your wife." I still think that was a very significant line -- it was expressing her disappointment that he wasn't behaving to her as her expectation of a husband -- that he would trust her, and look to her as a confidante when things went wrong.
And of course the pre-op speech when Martin tells her he wants to be a better husband -- and she asks for her husband, in the post-op scene, and the very last line is, "and you are my wife," suggesting to me that S7 is going to be about them learning what those words mean and each of them changing enough to be able to live them.
At this juncture, another "I love you" from him is almost beside the point. She is worrying, I think, about whether, despite their love for each other, they are causing each other more pain together than apart.
I'm perplexed as to why we've only twice ever heard her say "I love you" to him. Once in S2 after the drunken night of "talk" and once in S3 as she left him before their wedding.
I'm perplexed as to why we've only twice ever heard her say "I love you" to him. Once in S2 after the drunken night of "talk" and once in S3 as she left him before their wedding.
Are you asking because you're not sure that she does love him?
I also sort of half count the taxi cab speech (S1E6) "and maybe that's why we love the Peters of this world." Although probably went right over his head.
Are you asking because you're not sure that she does love him?
No, I just find it curious why he's said it more than she has throughout the life of the program. It doesn't bother me that it hasn't been tossed around a lot because pretty soon it would become overkill and might douse what the writers and producers are trying to convey.
But, it was interesting that as she was leaving for work in E2 this series, she didn't quite kiss him on the cheek (whether that was on purpose or some other reason) and said "I'll miss you" instead "I love you". That seemed a bit odd.
I couldn't quite understand why Louisa chose to go to Spain. As we saw in S5, she was not on the best terms with Elinor, even though she did help out in the babystitting department. Did she think she could leave her troubles in Portwenn and escape to warm Spain and everything would be better between her and Martin? Elinor would go into full gear against Martin. What they need is a person who will hear both sides in Portwenn and, clearly apparent, that person is Aunt Ruth.
I think she chose to go to Spain as it is relatively close, she does have a relationship with her mother, despite her disappointment at her mother leaving Portwenn for the winter, but they are not estranged like Doc and his mum. It's warmer and sunny in Spain (acc. to Eleanor), and L might assume some help with James as she heals. She already ran to Mum in PW when she left Doc in S5, so she had already set that precedent that she feels some affinity with her mum.
I think she just felt some time away would give her some rest and think time. I don't find that strange, as I think most of us at one time or another need some alone time to think our own thoughts. And since it was end of term, she would be tired as a teacher anyway and going on a vacation a usual activity.
But I don't think Aunt Ruth can be their formal counselor, perhaps stick in a knowing observation or piece of information at times, but professionally speaking, it wouldn't do to have a family member of one of them fill that role. Not even in PW. So that leads me to say "who, then?" New cast member? Or can Doc heal himself, researching and applying what he learns? But who heals Louisa? Or can she magically react different then? Don't buy that one at all. She needs something, too. Or do they just begin to figure out each others' needs the way many folks do going through marriage? Ahhh, delicious to think about for S7! :cool:
I think she chose to go to Spain as it is relatively close, she does have a relationship with her mother, despite her disappointment at her mother leaving Portwenn for the winter, but they are not estranged like Doc and his mum. It's warmer and sunny in Spain (acc. to Eleanor), and L might assume some help with James as she heals. She already ran to Mum in PW when she left Doc in S5, so she had already set that precedent that she feels some affinity with her mum.
I think she just felt some time away would give her some rest and think time. I don't find that strange, as I think most of us at one time or another need some alone time to think our own thoughts. And since it was end of term, she would be tired as a teacher anyway and going on a vacation a usual activity.
But I don't think Aunt Ruth can be their formal counselor, perhaps stick in a knowing observation or piece of information at times, but professionally speaking, it wouldn't do to have a family member of one of them fill that role. Not even in PW. So that leads me to say "who, then?" New cast member? Or can Doc heal himself, researching and applying what he learns? But who heals Louisa? Or can she magically react different then? Don't buy that one at all. She needs something, too. Or do they just begin to figure out each others' needs the way many folks do going through marriage? Ahhh, delicious to think about for S7! :cool:
The Doc is way too disabled to heal himself. There will have to be a new cast member. As much as we think he was strange, the manner of Mr. Porter made Martin shut up and take notice. The new person will have to be incredibly intellectual, incredibly powerful and perhaps have some eccentricies of their own. It will be delightful or perhaps scary to see who they come up with. Maybe it will be a Buddhist? Ah, Grasshopper.....
Louisa needs help too, but for some reason, I think they will not pursue a formal situation. She needs a good talking to for sure. I don't know who she has but Aunt Ruth as a possibility. She needs to be told to stop running away. Who will tell her this has yet to be seen.
So many things to see. I would really be disappointed if things didn't work out for them. What a let down that would be...but we never know.
I couldn't quite understand why Louisa chose to go to Spain. As we saw in S5, she was not on the best terms with Elinor, even though she did help out in the babystitting department. Did she think she could leave her troubles in Portwenn and escape to warm Spain and everything would be better between her and Martin? Elinor would go into full gear against Martin. What they need is a person who will hear both sides in Portwenn and, clearly apparent, that person is Aunt Ruth.
Person is Aunt Ruth for Martin but not Louisa. She needs a Dutch Uncle figure who will shake her up as Aunt Ruth shook Martin. It is interesting that Aunt Ruth has been in Portwenn for less than a year and seems to have had limited contact with Martin before then. But she is the truth speaker while Aunt Joan could never quite bring herself to tell Martin he needed help. Joan had a longer relationship with him in PW and also in his childhood. It is not just Ruth's profession but a removal from Martin that allows her to be more frank with him
I hope S 7 brings someone to tell Louisa she needs help. Not Elinor or her father released from prison. I think there may be a long lost aunt or uncle in Louisa's life
The reason why I thought Aunt Ruth could be helpful to M & L is I believe she could play two sides of the fence, being straight forward to both of them. Martin has confidence in her. I didn't feel he had confidence in Dr. Millinger. Something about Aunt Ruth and that discussion she had with him on the hillside. . .it gave him the backbone to stand up to Margaret and ask her to leave and refused her any financial help. I can't agree there is equal to the dysfunction. Martin is more so. Someone who knows Martin's childhood (probably Aunt Joan kept her apprised) and spells it out to Louisa = Aunt Ruth.
Comments
Yes, I agree. I thought this was a genuine attempt to prove to himself and to Louisa that he could indeed change, at least enough to get Louisa back. How frustrating that it went right over her head!
I think you are exactly right about what Martin was feeling - --that this was bound to happen and there was no point in trying to change her mind.
I actually do not know how to interpret what Louisa wanted from him. I'm thinking particularly of the scene where she is in the bathroom and he is talking to her through the closed door. But also when she comes out of the house to see him holding James so tenderly. When I saw it initially, it looked to me that she knew exactly how much pain he was in, and she didn't want to see it, for fear that she wouldn't be able to hold out against it. And I think that was her demeanor outside, too. If that's the right take-away, then his telling her that he loved her wouldn't have made any difference, only made things harder for her.
Remember too that he has saved his bacon at the last minute two previous times -- three if you count the S3 proposal. Even Louisa must by now have realized that he doesn't have a great track record on following through with these last minute conversions.
The other interpretation is that she really did think that he didn't love her anymore or want her in his life, and that was the motivation for her deciding to leave. In that case, yes, it might have made a difference. But as I said, I just don't find it plausible that Louisa could come over the space of 3 months to believe that, at least enough to leave without further delving into it.
Her decision to leave was wrong, I believe, even if understandable, but I think she felt a strong need and desire to get away.
As above, I think she is hoping that he won't make her feel even worse by asking her to stay. Agreed -- she did not say to herself -- yet-- that she definitely would not be returning to him. But I think that was a real, live possibility, and they both knew it. Hence Martin's devastation, from which his emotional breakthough stemmed.
I think I may go to Spain
I think she came to feel that Martin, although he loved her, was not capable, for whatever reason, of an intimate relationship,except in brief flashes, and that being so, the burdens of being married were too much for him. And that if he could not be a real husband and intimate partner to her, it was too painful to be with him.
And actually, the very fact that he could not and would not share with her what was profoundly upsetting to him, suggests that, if that is what she thought, she was correct. At that point, he still could not be open to her or with her.
That interpretation makes sense of the pain that both were feeling, as she left.
That realization, that he was incapable of being the husband that she needed, was one that she fought against, but in the end, it was inescapable (to her). That was her "breakthrough." So I think that her decision to leave was quite sincere.
Even so, I still think that her decision to leave, and think things over on her own, was not a good one, as it is probably more conducive to prematurely ending a relationship that could still be salvaged, with work on both their parts. And not giving him a real chance to respond was not fair to Martin.
Hopefully, S7 will see her be willing to give him some kind of chance to show her that he understands what he needs to do and is willing to work at it and make those changes.
They have established, throughout the series, that Martin knows, if nothing else, that he has the ability to learn. He learned how to take care of James Henry, although now he is facing a whole new frontier in that department. Taking care of an infant is one thing......nurturing a new human being is another. He has told Louisa that he wants to learn to be a good husband because he has not been, up to this point. Early S7 is so very exciting to me because who can teach these attributes. He could be given a manual....when she says this...you say that, but that's too simplistic for someone as intelligent as DM. He needs someone who can give him a whole different set of parameters....one of which will be....what is the other person thinking or feeling. Before you knee jerk react...assess these conditions. DM is so deficient in these skills he may literally have to stop conversations and compute the variables...but you do what you have to do. I am particularly excited and curious to see who will embark on this behavior modification with him...that will be some rugged acting.
Well said dcdmfan and Mofromco. This I think is how I've felt all along. Louisa deserves her chance for resolution as well and at long last, maybe we will get that in S7.
I think DM may have the skills if he could just use his questioning skills (used to assess a patient) but apply them to the thinking/feeling area of LGE like he does in the physical symptoms arena of his patients. He has employed questioning with LGE occasionally and often with a good result throughout the various series. It's better communication. I always notice it.
And yes, I think S7 can be incredibly exciting. I can't wait to see how the lovely minds of BP and the writers do it.
The teen with the problem was being bullied by her "friends." I believe DM empathized with her. He knows what it is like to be bullied.
For me this is part of what makes s6 so very poor and unbelievable - just about all their problems could be solved with a simple discussion.
For me it feels like they've deliberately stretched it out. When I can see the writers trying to achieve something I think the writing isn't very believable or well thought out. It should flow effortlessly and I should be so involved in the story that I don't even think of the writers.
No I know a few people like that -doctors too, exceptionally good at their work but useless at life.
Yes her decision to leave was wrong, but...
Maybe if they haven't slept together (including on the wedding night) it is more believable that LG might think it was her fault and that DM might no longer want her in his life. A bit more understandable that she'd be getting a bit desperate/convinced that there was no chance of a proper relationship at this stage.
She admits to Margaret that she "doesn't know what she's doing". I really think in the bedroom scene that LG was waiting for DM to say "Don't go". When he doesn't do that and in fact helps to speed her on her way she gives up the the inevitable and goes to Spain.
I think they took a huge risk this season in hopes that by doing so they would get a S7. S6 end leaves everyone hanging and if they felt it was indeed going to be the last then why did they do this? I for one already feel cheated by not having a resolution that would wrap the program up and cut clean (like the end of S5 which I thought WAS the end).
The downward spiral seemed to happen so quickly and mostly toward the end of the series. It was a little hard to believe how things had fallen apart like that.
Could it be that part of the reason she wanted to run was because of how she felt about herself and how SHE handled some things? Has anyone ever thought that she may feel as unworthy of his love? Maybe the overwhelming feelings of marriage and raising a child have gotten to her too?
Harken back to the beginning of S3 when they talk in his kitchen and she is concerned about her life. She's the one who is upset and he's the calm voice of reason.
With all that is spinning around in their lives, they need to find that place where they could calm each others fears and be each others refuge from the craziness of the village. That's something we've not been shown much of. I think we saw a glimpse of that at the end of S6E1 when their kitchen was abuzz with people and they just looked at each other calmly like there wasn't anyone else in the room and parted to take care of business.
There has all of a sudden become a huge disconnect within that partnership.
Good points. I agree that she was confused, and almost desperately unhappy at the way things were going. "I'm not happy and I'm not making you happy." What she knows is that they're failing each other as husband and wife. But maybe not why -- is he unhappy with her, now that they're married? Is it her failings that are making him unhappy? or is he just not capable of being a real "husband" to her -- not only physically but emotionally intimate, which I think she really, really wants -- has always wanted -- from him. She needs to get away and think things through, and wants to do this by herself (a mistake, I continue to believe) I suppose because she has no confidence that he will be able to admit that something's wrong, talk about it and be willing to do the emotional work to put things right.
At this juncture, another "I love you" from him is almost beside the point. She is worrying, I think, about whether, despite their love for each other, they are causing each other more pain together than apart.
I am struck by how often the words "husband" and "wife" are used throughout the episode, and their changing context and significance. Because I think that's at the heart of what the problems between them are: they're really not sure of what those words mean, and whether they are, or can, perform those roles.
E1: they skip the vows that would remind them what those words mean, but at their honeymoon getaway, they are delighted to play with those words, to each other, and in the scenes with the old man.
Then later, in E2, we see Louisa proudly using "my husband" -- as her obnoxious guests arrive.
But then, when he doesn't tell her about his blood phobia, we hear her very disappointed "but I'm your wife." I still think that was a very significant line -- it was expressing her disappointment that he wasn't behaving to her as her expectation of a husband -- that he would trust her, and look to her as a confidante when things went wrong.
And of course the pre-op speech when Martin tells her he wants to be a better husband -- and she asks for her husband, in the post-op scene, and the very last line is, "and you are my wife," suggesting to me that S7 is going to be about them learning what those words mean and each of them changing enough to be able to live them.
I'm perplexed as to why we've only twice ever heard her say "I love you" to him. Once in S2 after the drunken night of "talk" and once in S3 as she left him before their wedding.
Are you asking because you're not sure that she does love him?
I also sort of half count the taxi cab speech (S1E6) "and maybe that's why we love the Peters of this world." Although probably went right over his head.
No, I just find it curious why he's said it more than she has throughout the life of the program. It doesn't bother me that it hasn't been tossed around a lot because pretty soon it would become overkill and might douse what the writers and producers are trying to convey.
But, it was interesting that as she was leaving for work in E2 this series, she didn't quite kiss him on the cheek (whether that was on purpose or some other reason) and said "I'll miss you" instead "I love you". That seemed a bit odd.
I think she chose to go to Spain as it is relatively close, she does have a relationship with her mother, despite her disappointment at her mother leaving Portwenn for the winter, but they are not estranged like Doc and his mum. It's warmer and sunny in Spain (acc. to Eleanor), and L might assume some help with James as she heals. She already ran to Mum in PW when she left Doc in S5, so she had already set that precedent that she feels some affinity with her mum.
I think she just felt some time away would give her some rest and think time. I don't find that strange, as I think most of us at one time or another need some alone time to think our own thoughts. And since it was end of term, she would be tired as a teacher anyway and going on a vacation a usual activity.
But I don't think Aunt Ruth can be their formal counselor, perhaps stick in a knowing observation or piece of information at times, but professionally speaking, it wouldn't do to have a family member of one of them fill that role. Not even in PW. So that leads me to say "who, then?" New cast member? Or can Doc heal himself, researching and applying what he learns? But who heals Louisa? Or can she magically react different then? Don't buy that one at all. She needs something, too. Or do they just begin to figure out each others' needs the way many folks do going through marriage? Ahhh, delicious to think about for S7! :cool:
The Doc is way too disabled to heal himself. There will have to be a new cast member. As much as we think he was strange, the manner of Mr. Porter made Martin shut up and take notice. The new person will have to be incredibly intellectual, incredibly powerful and perhaps have some eccentricies of their own. It will be delightful or perhaps scary to see who they come up with. Maybe it will be a Buddhist? Ah, Grasshopper.....
Louisa needs help too, but for some reason, I think they will not pursue a formal situation. She needs a good talking to for sure. I don't know who she has but Aunt Ruth as a possibility. She needs to be told to stop running away. Who will tell her this has yet to be seen.
So many things to see. I would really be disappointed if things didn't work out for them. What a let down that would be...but we never know.
http://www.stratford-herald.com/local-news/7484-film-crew-invade-welford-to-shoot-nativity-3.html
Person is Aunt Ruth for Martin but not Louisa. She needs a Dutch Uncle figure who will shake her up as Aunt Ruth shook Martin. It is interesting that Aunt Ruth has been in Portwenn for less than a year and seems to have had limited contact with Martin before then. But she is the truth speaker while Aunt Joan could never quite bring herself to tell Martin he needed help. Joan had a longer relationship with him in PW and also in his childhood. It is not just Ruth's profession but a removal from Martin that allows her to be more frank with him
I hope S 7 brings someone to tell Louisa she needs help. Not Elinor or her father released from prison. I think there may be a long lost aunt or uncle in Louisa's life