When kids don't eat properly!
BluesTrainRadio
Posts: 990 Forum Member
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I wasn't sure what to use as a title...but guess its a common problem.
We've got a 6 year old boy [ my wife has two older boys so may well have gone through this with them, they don't live with us now ]. He's always been a little awkward with food, never wanting to try anything too different to what he has been used to. He's never really had baked beans or eggs and things like that. At various points, he has enjoyed homemade cottage pie, chicken, fish, sausages, chicken burgers, the occasional beef burger....and he does eat cereal for breakfast and a fairly balanced lunch box at school. Fruit is a bit in and out, he will have a banana for school but not always eat it.
The issue is...he really likes something and will only want to eat that for days at a time, then he will get fed up with it, as you would. So we end up with things in the freezer or the fridge that he suddenly goes off and refuses to eat. It makes him very hard to cater for and we've recently been very frustrated in getting him to eat anything like a balanced diet in the evenings and weekends.
Just wondering if other parents out there have had similar situations and how they dealt with it. Is it a case of just riding the storm and hoping that he will eventually grow back into eating properly? Overall, he seems mainly healthy, he's naturally skinny so its hard to see if he is underweight or not. He's been to the doctors for a hearing check and no-one has ever mentioned him being too skinny. Maybe I am just worrying too much!
He has gone through a slightly strange stage [ although again, might be natural...], he used to go football training every week but has now stopped going 'as I only want to play for Chelsea'! A friend in our road has moved away so there isn't much need for him to be out playing here either. He is obsessed by Iron Maiden [ my fault! ] and prefers to watch DVDs of them and stage his own 'concerts' in his room. Perhaps all of the above is just a 6 year old discovering his own identity and way in life....but as a parent, I do worry. I just want him to start eating more varied food again.
We've got a 6 year old boy [ my wife has two older boys so may well have gone through this with them, they don't live with us now ]. He's always been a little awkward with food, never wanting to try anything too different to what he has been used to. He's never really had baked beans or eggs and things like that. At various points, he has enjoyed homemade cottage pie, chicken, fish, sausages, chicken burgers, the occasional beef burger....and he does eat cereal for breakfast and a fairly balanced lunch box at school. Fruit is a bit in and out, he will have a banana for school but not always eat it.
The issue is...he really likes something and will only want to eat that for days at a time, then he will get fed up with it, as you would. So we end up with things in the freezer or the fridge that he suddenly goes off and refuses to eat. It makes him very hard to cater for and we've recently been very frustrated in getting him to eat anything like a balanced diet in the evenings and weekends.
Just wondering if other parents out there have had similar situations and how they dealt with it. Is it a case of just riding the storm and hoping that he will eventually grow back into eating properly? Overall, he seems mainly healthy, he's naturally skinny so its hard to see if he is underweight or not. He's been to the doctors for a hearing check and no-one has ever mentioned him being too skinny. Maybe I am just worrying too much!
He has gone through a slightly strange stage [ although again, might be natural...], he used to go football training every week but has now stopped going 'as I only want to play for Chelsea'! A friend in our road has moved away so there isn't much need for him to be out playing here either. He is obsessed by Iron Maiden [ my fault! ] and prefers to watch DVDs of them and stage his own 'concerts' in his room. Perhaps all of the above is just a 6 year old discovering his own identity and way in life....but as a parent, I do worry. I just want him to start eating more varied food again.
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No child will ever starve themselves if food is on offer, to put your mind at rest your GP may be able to send him along to a dietician to assess his diet and let you know if he is getting everything he needs. They can also weigh him and put your mind at rest.
It does sound like he is trying to find his own identity, I think as parents we often have to step back and let them find their wings themselves
One thing stuck out in your post *we've recently been very frustrated in getting him to eat anything like a balanced diet*, children can pick up on frustrations and rebel against what it is you would like them to do, I know its hard, but being relaxed about food is a good thing, any tenseness and frustration is a negative thing and the little darlings WILL pick up on it,lol
Good luck, parenting is hard at each and every level, but you will get over it and he will flourish
I do a family meal every night. We all have the same. I can deviate a little bit (instead of jackets they can have roasties or homemade chunky chips) but I am not going down the route of making different meals for everyone or just having "kids meals". If they don't like something (mushrooms for example) I will leave it a few months and then try it again. My two now love mushrooms.... As a child I remember detesting brussel sprouts, I now love them. Our tastes can and do change.
As a parent you'll need to judge whether the food is a genuine dislike, or whether the child is using it as a way to express control. We're all entitled as people to have likes and dislikes, but I would not accept my kids dictating mealtimes. But other people are happy with that, and so it's up to you what works best. If you're unsure about nutrition, see your GP/nutritionist for advice.
I used to find that rubber spoons were great when mine were tiny as a lot of the time at that age they are teething and dont like the food in their mouths when its sore,but they can use the spoon to gnaw on whole hopefully getting the odd spoonful in
Have you tried letting her feed herself? With my daughter I did the puree bit but with my son did the baton sized foods and let him feed himself. It's very messy (I remember broccoli in the hair LOL) but it may be worth a try.
Sorry about that.
Does he eat tomato sauce with chips? What is he like if he goes to someone else to dinner (like a friends)? My two always said they didn't like mash, but ate it up when they visited a friends house! I have found sometimes kids play up more when they're with their parents.
he will eat when he's hungry.
it sounds like he isn't so fussy anyway.
I will speak to the health visitor about it. I have done some research on food phobias and the 'moist food' one is quite common. It does say to introduce small amounts of different foods at a time....but that then leads to this panic from him. However, the things he will eat, he does eat and always empties his plate. And it is more things like sauces etc as he eats most fruit and veg without a problem. He loves cucumber and that to me is very 'wet'.
No he won't eat ketchup or anything like that. If he goes to a friends house I have to give them a list in advance of things he will eat. It is hard work. If he goes to a birthday party he struggles to find things to eat as there is normally butter on the sandwiches, pizza etc.
I guess its very easy to get annoyed by it, as I just want to make sure he is as healthy as possible but like has been said, he seems to have enough energy to stage a Maiden gig most days so he can't be too bad!
OP, as long as he's eating, I wouldn't worry too much about what it is he's having as long as it's not all "junk" and he's got a decent amount of nutrients in there.
My son goes through stages lately of refusing certain foods which he'd have no problem shovelling down before. Then all of a sudden he'll love that food again! So I just continue to keep trying these foods, if he refuses, it's no big deal and I don't make a fuss, just carry on eating my dinner and encouraging him to eat the other things on his plate and praising him when he does. I never cook anything different for him. He eats exactly what his dad and I eat, and if he refuses, I don't cook him anything else instead. If he refuses the whole plate, I'll go, "Have you finished then?" and start picking up the plate. He's always, without fail, sits back down and starts eating! So sometimes I think kids just like testing us and seeing what they can get away with!
Yes I've tried this too but still no luck. I think she may be teething as the poster above suggested, she wouldn't even open her mouth to let me give her Calpol.
Whatever you do don't start cooking him separate stuff. My S-I-L used to do that with her kids and some nights she would cook THREE different meals.
If kids are really hungry they will eat. If they know that a few tears or a trembling lip will mean they'll get something different then they'll win every time.
I used to make stews and casseroles and roast dinners and mine used to pick out things they didn't fancy but eat the rest.
So, I'm not a parent, but it wasn't all that long ago that I was a nightmare child when it came to food.
You say his lunchbox comes home pretty full, is there any chance he could be getting food from somewhere else? A friend perhaps? When I was younger my best friend used to get these huge lunches with all different types of food in them and it was a lot more fun than my ham sandwich, so we used to share hers (and the better parts of mine!). Any chance that could be the case here?
Also, have you tried just putting his tea in the fridge for a while, so that when he's hungry again you can offer that to him, then point out that's what he wanted, so its all he can have and reheat it for him. I know it's annoying to do, but he'll soon learn that it's all he's getting and he might as well eat it now. Also, some people just eat like this. My cousin for example, is the slowest eater in the world. He takes around an hour and a half to eat a pizza because while he sits with it out, he just has one bit very occasionally. He has to heat his food up multiple times, but that's just how he likes it, maybe your son's the same?
To the first OP, I wouldn't say your son is a major issue right now.. And as long as you don't let him take control it shouldnt become one. My parents just gave me what they had, unless it was something that they knew i would never eat, ie something potato based because I despised, and still do, potatoes. And I'm lucky to be naturally good at cooking, so as soon as i was old enough the options i had were to eat what mum and dad had, or cook my own tea. Sometimes I'd just have the family meal, and other times I'd decide what I wanted. But my family were never really into the whole one meal thing because mum's a veggie while dad's a big meat eater...
We had a meeting with his teacher about it just before Christmas and she told us he just doesn't eat at lunch. He opens his lunch box and picks at a couple of things but after a couple of minutes he closes it and waits for his friends to finish. Here in Ireland each class has lunch at their own desks in the classroom before going out to the playground, so the teacher can monitor her own class's lunch. She had some concerns as well, hence the meeting. She wanted to ensure we weren't overfeeding him before school, but like I said before, he barely even has breakfast. He'll either pick at a croissant/pastry/piece of toast, have a couple of spoons of cereal, or have nothing at all.
Yeah we tried the re-heating thing for a couple of months but he wasn't interested in eating it or eating anything else. It seems he does get hungry but then he has no appetite when it actually comes to eating.
I have (with my wife of course) been raising children for over 35 years, we have had our own two sons an adopted son and 13 foster children/Young people out of them I can honestly say every one of them has at some time had a period when they were funny, fussy, dificult or down-right cantancorous. We persently care for a girl of 12 she won't eat pasta, rice, potato or much bread. currently she eats yourkshire puddings as her starch part of her diet, she won't eat vegies and is fussy about meat. we feed her what she wants to eat. Over the past few years she has allowed the introduction of about 20 different food items, but I feel sure she will grow up to eat normally.
Food is one of the few areas that a child can feel thay have some say about. With most things in our world today children have to do as they are told. go to school now- do this - do that - time for dance class- time for youth club etc -etc- we take them here and we take them there, this of its self not wrong but it does (for some children) seemlike they are just not in control so they discover they can say 'I'm not eating that or this' (even very young childrenacn sometimes do this.our adopted son went through about 3-4 years when he would only eat a few things, eggs and bananas was one stage. Our present foster son can eat nothing but steak pies and chips for two months then omelet for two weeks for his evening meal. the only time I become concerned is if the eating habbit is causing weight loss or illness. this rarely (in my eaperience) happens.
Both of mine have gone through faddy stages but it never lasted long probably because I didn't nag, cajole, bribe or beg them to eat or give in to demands to make them something different to what everyone else was having.
At breakfast time, I've always had a few things for them to choose from and they get to pick what they want even if it's something crap like Jaffa cakes as I figure it's best not to go to school on an empty stomach.
By the time they are teenagers, you have to hide half the weekly shop otherwise the greedy buggers will eat it all in a couple of days and you wonder what on earth you worried for when they were little and sat poking their food about.