It can work if they are on JSA but much better if you can get someone on ESA with all the allowances and preferably additional health issues and therefore permits and stuff. Great for parking space at the supermarket and all that kind of stuff. The best friends anyone can have.
Sorry, just seemed like a funny idea.
As to your actual topic - I've no idea. It wouldn't suit me but I guess if either party is happy with the arrangement then they'll be fine with it. Problems occur if one party wants something different, I suppose, the same with any relationship type of issue.
A friend who was living on Bali had a 'friends with benefits' relationship with a local man. Then one day he announced that it was time to get married and unfortunately it couldn't be her as she was too old She was gutted and realised that over time it had become much more than that to her So that's the risk you run.
That said I did once start a' friends with benefits' relationship with a plumber who came to fix a leaky radiator and left his grip behind. It ended when he overcharged me for servicing my boiler >:(
Does anyone know if these relationships can actually work? What do men think of women who are up for this kind of thing ?
Any advice appreciated
It's a relationship of convenience no more, no less. It only works as long as both parties want it to and shouldn't be looked upon as anything but a short term arrangement. If they are a real friend and you want to keep them as one then don't go there in the first place is my advice.
Thanks for the replies. I have had a friend for over 20 years, never looked at him that way until recently. Am confused by the whole concept
We would never work in a "proper" relationship but the sex side is very tempting. The only thing is I dont want him to see me as an easy lay!
If you're after a f*** buddy, you'd be much better off finding someone who you don't already have a history with. Your friendship with this man may or may not last out the sex side of things, but it will certainly be changed forever.
I guess some of it depends on your age. I has a FWB in our late 40's, it worked fantastically for us.. He taught me a lot about men (not least that there are two kinds of womanisers, those that do it cos they love women, those that do it cos they hate them).
If you're after a f*** buddy, you'd be much better off finding someone who you don't already have a history with. Your friendship with this man may or may not last out the sex side of things, but it will certainly be changed forever.
I agree with that. Much easier to keep him at arm's length if you don't already have a different kind of relationship with him.
It's a relationship of convenience no more, no less. It only works as long as both parties want it to and shouldn't be looked upon as anything but a short term arrangement. If they are a real friend and you want to keep them as one then don't go there in the first place is my advice.
Agreed. It can work providing both parties know the score. Risky with a long term genuine friend though, if it doesn't work out the friendship might not survive.
Thanks for all the answers!! I think its because he is a good friend that I'm even considering it but I also know the friendship will be damaged in some way. I have never done anything like this before but I have found myself in a rut recently so thought trying something new maybe good.
Thanks for the replies. I have had a friend for over 20 years, never looked at him that way until recently. Am confused by the whole concept
We would never work in a "proper" relationship but the sex side is very tempting. The only thing is I dont want him to see me as an easy lay!
Well if you've known him for 20 years and you havent dropped your knickers yet, you can hardly be classed as an easy lay.
Unless of course, knowing him for 20 years, you have talked about your previous conquests of man and he knows you drop em' for certain anyway after a couple of shandys.
Think about what you are saying here. Chances are he is going to know a lot about you anyway.
I ended up with a broken heart from one of these arrangements.
Really good friend and we got drunk one night and it just happened.
And kept happening for about 4 months.
We maybe weren't too clever about it as we did things like go places, spend time together, lots of hugging and hugging to sleep. Too many blurred lines.
I ended up with a broken heart from one of these arrangements.
Really good friend and we got drunk one night and it just happened.
And kept happening for about 4 months.
We maybe weren't too clever about it as we did things like go places, spend time together, lots of hugging and hugging to sleep. Too many blurred lines.
A big no no!! If there's one thing that makes me fall for someone its that.
....I don't get how a FWB scenario would actually work though?
People say 'no hugging' - does that mean then, also no kissing, no touching and no cuddling? Is it literally, drop your knickers/pants, do the deed, get dressed and then its, "......bye - see you next week"?!!!
Thanks for all the answers!! I think its because he is a good friend that I'm even considering it but I also know the friendship will be damaged in some way. I have never done anything like this before but I have found myself in a rut recently so thought trying something new maybe good.
Will have a think on.
I would personally stay well clear of having sex with a long term friend, your friendship will never be the same if you go ahead and have sex with him.
Being in a rut I presume means not in a relationship and fancying a bit of rumpy pumpy, that right?
If so there are plenty of ways to go about that that will not compromise a good friendship.
The thing is with these type of relationships is often one will fall for the other and see the 'arrangement' in a totally different way to the other person.
You have to be tough in one way to keep those feelings out of things, especially as a woman.
Not many women can see sex as sex like men can you see in my experience.
I can as I do not get romantically involved.
....I don't get how a FWB scenario would actually work though?
People say 'no hugging' - does that mean then, also no kissing, no touching and no cuddling? Is it literally, drop your knickers/pants, do the deed, get dressed and then its, "......bye - see you next week"?!!!
For me it is just like dating, we go out for meals and stay at hotels and such things and end up doing the other stuff after.
I do exactly the same as I would do with a boyfriend/husband which means kissing cuddling and the like.
I have a FwB and it works for us. My wife knows all about it. She has a f*** buddy as that's all they do but with my fwb we go out for drinks and meals, and we don't always end up f***ing, in fact maybe only one time in three.
Comments
Yes they can work if you both know where you stand in advance. And if neither of you are doing it because you have secret feelings
If they guy is up for it then he SHOULDN'T think anything of the girl as he is doing the same....But then that is how it should be not how it is sadly
Sorry, just seemed like a funny idea.
As to your actual topic - I've no idea. It wouldn't suit me but I guess if either party is happy with the arrangement then they'll be fine with it. Problems occur if one party wants something different, I suppose, the same with any relationship type of issue.
Yes they can.
I should imagine if they have one they think they are great, if they do not have one they would think they are slags.
Advice on what exactly?
How to get one or how to handle it if you do have one?
We would never work in a "proper" relationship but the sex side is very tempting. The only thing is I dont want him to see me as an easy lay!
If you want to keep him as a friend then don't go there!
That said I did once start a' friends with benefits' relationship with a plumber who came to fix a leaky radiator and left his grip behind. It ended when he overcharged me for servicing my boiler >:(
There's something strangely erotic about that.
Maybe you misconstrued what the extra charges were for?
If you're after a f*** buddy, you'd be much better off finding someone who you don't already have a history with. Your friendship with this man may or may not last out the sex side of things, but it will certainly be changed forever.
I miss him.
I agree with that. Much easier to keep him at arm's length if you don't already have a different kind of relationship with him.
Agreed. It can work providing both parties know the score. Risky with a long term genuine friend though, if it doesn't work out the friendship might not survive.
Will have a think on.
Well if you've known him for 20 years and you havent dropped your knickers yet, you can hardly be classed as an easy lay.
Unless of course, knowing him for 20 years, you have talked about your previous conquests of man and he knows you drop em' for certain anyway after a couple of shandys.
Think about what you are saying here. Chances are he is going to know a lot about you anyway.
Really good friend and we got drunk one night and it just happened.
And kept happening for about 4 months.
We maybe weren't too clever about it as we did things like go places, spend time together, lots of hugging and hugging to sleep. Too many blurred lines.
I agree
I was left feeling a bit like I wasn't good enough for anything other then sex, and as a pretend girlfriend without having to put any effort in
I will never get involved in anything like that again
We did manage to rescue our friendship though - which is unusual.
If you want to read lots on FWB go to the loveshack forums, and their friends and lovers section
People say 'no hugging' - does that mean then, also no kissing, no touching and no cuddling? Is it literally, drop your knickers/pants, do the deed, get dressed and then its, "......bye - see you next week"?!!!
I would personally stay well clear of having sex with a long term friend, your friendship will never be the same if you go ahead and have sex with him.
Being in a rut I presume means not in a relationship and fancying a bit of rumpy pumpy, that right?
If so there are plenty of ways to go about that that will not compromise a good friendship.
The thing is with these type of relationships is often one will fall for the other and see the 'arrangement' in a totally different way to the other person.
You have to be tough in one way to keep those feelings out of things, especially as a woman.
Not many women can see sex as sex like men can you see in my experience.
I can as I do not get romantically involved.
For me it is just like dating, we go out for meals and stay at hotels and such things and end up doing the other stuff after.
I do exactly the same as I would do with a boyfriend/husband which means kissing cuddling and the like.
Honestly all around and it works.
What, after 20 years, are you for real?:D