Domestic violence - when do you blame the victim?

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 929
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    vidalia wrote: »

    Very contrived article. Not much substance in that really other than excuses. There's help out there for domestic abuse victims such as witness protection, restraining orders, help from family and friends etc;
  • Rae_RooRae_Roo Posts: 1,185
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    I find this a really tough issue, I personally just cannot understand the mentality of someone who submits to an abuser. Particularly when they have children, leaving then vurnable to possible attack, or mental anguish.. keeping a family together under these circumstances, just doesn't wash with me.

    I had an ex partner who one night, completely out the blue, got angry during an arguement and hit me, I punched him in the face and left, moved my stuff out the next day, no way was I accepting that. I know it can't be that straightforward for everyone, but I can't understand why after once, you'd expect it to change, for me the trust, love and respect just evaporated, and all I saw was a weak and powerless man.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 25,310
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    3sweet5u wrote: »
    Very contrived article. Not much substance in that really other than excuses. There's help out there for domestic abuse victims such as witness protection, restraining orders, help from family and friends etc;

    Hopefully you live in a very happy environment with loving friends and family who are always there for you with help and advice if you ever need them. Or that if you had a problem you feel you have the resources or the confidence or the knowhow to know just where to turn to put things right without fear of repercussions.

    Sadly, not all people have this support system or knowledge or trust and it is for those people that a bit of understanding and empathy comes in useful. Perhaps if you go and volunteer at a women's aid shelter you could learn first hand that what you term as excuses can be seen as real and valid reasons, what you suggest as easy answers are not always quite so straightforward.
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