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One thing after another what can I do?

Funk YouFunk You Posts: 6,864
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in Advice #1
I recently lost my job, turns out it wasnt permanent and I was used for a few months. My parents are ill and Im always trying to keep their spirits up as best I can, my mum has some serious health issues and doctors cant really do much for her and are just dragging their feet. My dad will be off work from next week for a good few weeks as he is getting sorted out by the hospital for his health too. In the mean time Im looking for work and not getting anywhere, we hardly have any money and I just dont see a way out of this mess. It seems no one is willing to just get on with helping us, its not as if we ask things to fall in our laps or ask for bad luck it just seems to happen. The parents are getting stressed then it rubs off onto me and I get snappy :( just seems like a never ending cycle of crap at the moment. Things are not made easy and it seems things in the house are breaking down just when we dont need them to! living literally on nothing and having to make do with broken things its doing my head in.

I dont know exactly what advice Im looking for, maybe its just a rant. :confused::(

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    FieldfareFieldfare Posts: 2,739
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    #2
    Go ahead, have a good old moan. Hate those times in life when nothing seems to go well and you feel trapped without any control. 2011-12 was like that for me, work, family, health all went crap.

    Try not to get in a rut of always looking for the things to be miserable about though, that is an ever deepening hole that can end up impossible to get out of. Try a discipline of actively looking for just one thing a day that looks, sounds, feels or tastes nice to keep that 'muscle' stretched.

    Make sure that when things start to get better you allow it to happen, it can be fleeting, stuttered and slow but look out and don't miss it.
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    Funk YouFunk You Posts: 6,864
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    #3
    Fieldfare wrote: »
    Go ahead, have a good old moan. Hate those times in life when nothing seems to go well and you feel trapped without any control. 2011-12 was like that for me, work, family, health all went crap.

    Try not to get in a rut of always looking for the things to be miserable about though, that is an ever deepening hole that can end up impossible to get out of. Try a discipline of actively looking for just one thing a day that looks, sounds, feels or tastes nice to keep that 'muscle' stretched.

    Make sure that when things start to get better you allow it to happen, it can be fleeting, stuttered and slow but look out and don't miss it.

    Thanks

    Im trying to keep it together as best I can, guess at the moment I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel which is frustrating.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,486
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    #4
    Without wishing to be intrusive, are their illnesses long term/terminal etc?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,363
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    #5
    Fieldfare wrote: »
    Go ahead, have a good old moan. Hate those times in life when nothing seems to go well and you feel trapped without any control. 2011-12 was like that for me, work, family, health all went crap.

    Try not to get in a rut of always looking for the things to be miserable about though, that is an ever deepening hole that can end up impossible to get out of. Try a discipline of actively looking for just one thing a day that looks, sounds, feels or tastes nice to keep that 'muscle' stretched.

    Make sure that when things start to get better you allow it to happen, it can be fleeting, stuttered and slow but look out and don't miss it.

    Good advice from Fieldfare.
    The OP has to persevere and take each day as it comes trying to keep their head above water when all seems to stack up against them.
    Everyone has months where negative things happen and pile on top of each other but equally there are also those times when everything seems to go right.
    It's hard coping with the bad days but you have to try not to let them drag you down then you will enjoy the good days even more instead of being cautious.
    With both parents ill the OP has to be strong and that's tough. I do sympathise.
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    MarzBar85MarzBar85 Posts: 15,004
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    #6
    I thought I'd picked myself out of this rut, and fell back in. I lost my job back in April and I'm still looking :/ When I panic about things, it starts to get bad. I keep reminding myself it will all work out, it always does.

    When I find myself in a black hole, rather than rant at my family, I've got my 'black book.' All my negativity gets written in there, just as a way to vent, and be melodramatic and work it out of my system. Some of the stuff I write in that book is awful - but its the way I feel at that time. It does help - I have my private wallow in pity, then put the book away and go to do something I want (e.g. exercising, reading, go out for something)
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    Funk YouFunk You Posts: 6,864
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    #7
    I didnt have a good night last night and have hardly slept I feel like shit but trying to keep happy its just the worry. When I have done all I need to do in a day Im left to think and thinking can be a nightmare. My dad will get better its quite an easy diagnosis and he will be sorted its just he has been suffering for months in pain and still working because he wouldnt have much of a wage coming in. With mum its more complicated to explain but she is stressing out and Im just trying to hold it all together not just for them but for myself as well. When they are better I fancy a break away with a friend up north, but does that sound selfish? Ive been constantly there for my parents for coming up to nearly two years and I feel I need time to get head together and re access my life and think about what I really want and need to do.
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    quatroquatro Posts: 2,886
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    #8
    A break away is not being selfish. This is your life, your parents have theirs and you have done your best to support that. You need to regroup, charge your batteries, ie. look after yourself, and find the space to think of fresh ideas. Nothing wrong with that, no point in getting unwell yourself.

    If your instincts tell you to take a break and have company of a friend then go with it. Our instincts are a great guide and we should listen to them. The answer to our problems lie within ourselves, we know what suits us, what appeals, what are our strengths and weaknesses.

    I have had awful times, definitely. I have had to just trust in life changing, as it inevitably does whether we like it or not, and just holding on. Never give up hope.

    Try and see and enjoy the good little things in life even if its a walk in the sunshine, a nice meal, a laugh with someone....and know that you will get a break one day. Keep thinking of possible solutions, options and opportunities for you. Life ebbs and flows and we have to roll with it and learn through our own resources how to build the right attitude to the rough times.

    Enjoy that break, good luck.
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    Funk YouFunk You Posts: 6,864
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    #9
    quatro wrote: »
    A break away is not being selfish. This is your life, your parents have theirs and you have done your best to support that. You need to regroup, charge your batteries, ie. look after yourself, and find the space to think of fresh ideas. Nothing wrong with that, no point in getting unwell yourself.

    If your instincts tell you to take a break and have company of a friend then go with it. Our instincts are a great guide and we should listen to them. The answer to our problems lie within ourselves, we know what suits us, what appeals, what are our strengths and weaknesses.

    I have had awful times, definitely. I have had to just trust in life changing, as it inevitably does whether we like it or not, and just holding on. Never give up hope.

    Try and see and enjoy the good little things in life even if its a walk in the sunshine, a nice meal, a laugh with someone....and know that you will get a break one day. Keep thinking of possible solutions, options and opportunities for you. Life ebbs and flows and we have to roll with it and learn through our own resources how to build the right attitude to the rough times.

    Enjoy that break, good luck.

    Thanks just talking to my friend to put the wheels in motion I feel I need a couple of days just to chill and have fun. Change of scenery will do me good.
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