Can I also suggest the DS Crisis thread at the top of Advice? Somegreat people to talk to there.
My best friend has severe Bi-Polar,she is one of the smartest,fun and loyal person I have ever known. with the right treatment and support you can get the brother you knew back. my friend holds down a full-time job and is studying for a degree. Of course there is alot to her story but she worked hard for the life she now has.
Learn as much as you can about this illness and encourage him to get the right treatment, thats the beginning,good luck.
Hi,I also posted last night and reading it again today I see my post comes across pretty lightwieght. I guess there is so much to say that it could fill a book!
But,its ok to feel the way you do,the frustration and helplessness,fear and sadness,you must have felt so alone,its ok to cry.
I guess I was trying to say that there is light at the end of the tunnel,you've been given some great advice but its hard work and you do need to take control of the situation if you can't rely on other family members.Theres alot of charities like MIND and SANE give them a call for starters. I am happy to talk to you at any time if you want to PM me. As I said with treatment and support you will get your brother back. And I truly meant what I said re my friend,we have been through some awful times together,I have been told to F### off many times.Thank goodness I didn't listen,we have earned our friendship and the joy she brings my family. Good Luck,times will get tough but you can make it.
Right now I'm feeling angry, hurt and emotionally battered, after another row with my brother who is consumed with bi-polar, and drug induced psychosis.
For the 3rd time in 2 days hes accused me of having a personal vendetta against him, plotting against him and calling him all the names under the sun. Which I catergorically have not. For a start I'm hardly ever in the house and often these episodes occur when I'm not even here.
Although we live in the same house I keep myself away from him, as to be honest I feel like he just isnt my brother. He's not the brother I used to have, he was a nice lad, kind, clever, generous and someone I could look up to. Now he's a vile, manipulative, liar, he is unable to listen to what others say and is entirely self centred.
I actually hate him right now for bringing this into his life, for bringing this into all of our lives and all because he smoked cannabis. :mad: He's my older brother and he smoked his ****ing life away! The irony is, his psychosis only occured when he gave up the evil drug.
I'm so mad right now I've just screamed at my mum, I think she's in denial, papering over the cracks with mini shopping trips to make up for the fact that I've just taken a verbal battering because she cant face that her son needs help.
I hate this disease because its stolen my brother. It's stolen everything he was and could have been.
Right now I just don't want him near me because it's not him, I am ashamed to admit it but I wish he wasn't here.
I can't deal with this no more.
My mother is agoraphobic and mentally ill on top of that. She only talks about people being murdered or dying and parents killing their children. And how she hates me and wish she never had me.
I've had to listen to this all my life and look after her as she does literally nothing for herself. I've never been able to have friends round because of this. And boyfriends soon leave me as well because I have to look after her. I did used to get angry at her but I'm used to it now. I just have to remember she can't help how she is.
I just wanted to add my two penn'orth to this as a BP-er myself.
Lexy, I totally understand where you're coming from and how hard it must be to live with your brother in his current state. I've done it to my family and have hated myself afterwards. Thankfully most of them (the ones that matter!) are very forgiving, and have learned how to handle me when I'm manic.
In the main, you've received some pretty good advice from the folks on here, but I just wanted to say that unless you or your parents are classed as your bro's promary carers (or something like that) then his doc or psychiatrist are not obliged to talk to you about him or his meds without his consent, and if he's owt like I am when I let rip, he won't give it. All you can do is hang on for dear life, and get him to see a doc with you, in the hope that they'll see the signs and act.
Being sectioned may or may not be a viable solution, but it is a horrendous experience for anyone who goes through it. I do concede that sometimes it's the best solution to ensure someone's safety, but it HAS to be the option of last resort. I very much hope your bro isn't there just yet. If he is, then all you can do is offer him your love and support, as I'm sure you would.
Unfortunately, cannabis use is becoming an increasingly common factor in mental health issues - and there IS medical eviddence to support thast, no matter what anyone else says, and it's growing. I agree that in the main, people tend to have a predisposition to mentall illness, which certain triggers can exacerbate, but drug-induced psychosis has been documented.
I think that, with your bro's situation, it's understandable that you're looking for something that you can attach "blame" to, as you can't attack your bro himself for being mentally ill, so attacking his drug use is the acceptable way to do it - in the long run, while you may feel a bit better having something to shout at, it won't get your brother better, which has to be the desired outcome. Patience (of a saint!) will be your best tool, hard as I know it can be to have. It'll take time to find the right set of meds for your bro, and to explore counselling options (which are also of benefit to some, denay, actually), and to get him stable from the placde he's currently in.
I know you feel like he's a prize pain right now, but remember - IT'S NOT HIM!! It's this sodding illness, and like most illnesses, it needs the right form of treatment for it to be manageable.
Denay - don't forget that you were quite lucky with your situation. Not everyone manages to help their loved one get their bipolar under control - some people never manage it. Others of us are just damn lucky that we can hold down jobs and appear stable (whatever that means for each individual) for relatively long spells of time. Just because things worked out for you, they won't automatically do so for everyone else,. much as we all hope they will.
Lexy - wishing you loads of strength and understanding!!
Right now I'm feeling angry, hurt and emotionally battered, after another row with my brother who is consumed with bi-polar, and drug induced psychosis.
For the 3rd time in 2 days hes accused me of having a personal vendetta against him, plotting against him and calling him all the names under the sun. Which I catergorically have not. For a start I'm hardly ever in the house and often these episodes occur when I'm not even here.
Although we live in the same house I keep myself away from him, as to be honest I feel like he just isnt my brother. He's not the brother I used to have, he was a nice lad, kind, clever, generous and someone I could look up to. Now he's a vile, manipulative, liar, he is unable to listen to what others say and is entirely self centred.
I actually hate him right now for bringing this into his life, for bringing this into all of our lives and all because he smoked cannabis. :mad: He's my older brother and he smoked his ****ing life away! The irony is, his psychosis only occured when he gave up the evil drug.
I'm so mad right now I've just screamed at my mum, I think she's in denial, papering over the cracks with mini shopping trips to make up for the fact that I've just taken a verbal battering because she cant face that her son needs help.
I hate this disease because its stolen my brother. It's stolen everything he was and could have been.
Right now I just don't want him near me because it's not him, I am ashamed to admit it but I wish he wasn't here.
I can't deal with this no more.
Hi (((Lexi)))
Sounds like he has stopped taking his medication.
Have you contacted the GP and asked for support for the family?
This illness can have lasting effects on you and those around him. Try not to take to heart the things he accuses you of doing. He is going through a rough time at present.
Who is his support worker or nurse? I would ask your GP about him having a nurse call regularly to check him and give him a chance to talk about his problems.
Have you thought about joining the 'MIND support groups' in your area. This would get your brother into the company of other sufferers and their families and find ways to cope.
I would think about these things now. Your mum and yourself need help to cope. Don't feel guilty, it is natural to feel hurt and it is important you keep everything as normal as possible.
Comments
Hi,I also posted last night and reading it again today I see my post comes across pretty lightwieght. I guess there is so much to say that it could fill a book!
But,its ok to feel the way you do,the frustration and helplessness,fear and sadness,you must have felt so alone,its ok to cry.
I guess I was trying to say that there is light at the end of the tunnel,you've been given some great advice but its hard work and you do need to take control of the situation if you can't rely on other family members.Theres alot of charities like MIND and SANE give them a call for starters. I am happy to talk to you at any time if you want to PM me. As I said with treatment and support you will get your brother back. And I truly meant what I said re my friend,we have been through some awful times together,I have been told to F### off many times.Thank goodness I didn't listen,we have earned our friendship and the joy she brings my family. Good Luck,times will get tough but you can make it.
My mother is agoraphobic and mentally ill on top of that. She only talks about people being murdered or dying and parents killing their children. And how she hates me and wish she never had me.
I've had to listen to this all my life and look after her as she does literally nothing for herself. I've never been able to have friends round because of this. And boyfriends soon leave me as well because I have to look after her. I did used to get angry at her but I'm used to it now. I just have to remember she can't help how she is.
Lexy, I totally understand where you're coming from and how hard it must be to live with your brother in his current state. I've done it to my family and have hated myself afterwards. Thankfully most of them (the ones that matter!) are very forgiving, and have learned how to handle me when I'm manic.
In the main, you've received some pretty good advice from the folks on here, but I just wanted to say that unless you or your parents are classed as your bro's promary carers (or something like that) then his doc or psychiatrist are not obliged to talk to you about him or his meds without his consent, and if he's owt like I am when I let rip, he won't give it. All you can do is hang on for dear life, and get him to see a doc with you, in the hope that they'll see the signs and act.
Being sectioned may or may not be a viable solution, but it is a horrendous experience for anyone who goes through it. I do concede that sometimes it's the best solution to ensure someone's safety, but it HAS to be the option of last resort. I very much hope your bro isn't there just yet. If he is, then all you can do is offer him your love and support, as I'm sure you would.
Unfortunately, cannabis use is becoming an increasingly common factor in mental health issues - and there IS medical eviddence to support thast, no matter what anyone else says, and it's growing. I agree that in the main, people tend to have a predisposition to mentall illness, which certain triggers can exacerbate, but drug-induced psychosis has been documented.
I think that, with your bro's situation, it's understandable that you're looking for something that you can attach "blame" to, as you can't attack your bro himself for being mentally ill, so attacking his drug use is the acceptable way to do it - in the long run, while you may feel a bit better having something to shout at, it won't get your brother better, which has to be the desired outcome. Patience (of a saint!) will be your best tool, hard as I know it can be to have. It'll take time to find the right set of meds for your bro, and to explore counselling options (which are also of benefit to some, denay, actually), and to get him stable from the placde he's currently in.
I know you feel like he's a prize pain right now, but remember - IT'S NOT HIM!! It's this sodding illness, and like most illnesses, it needs the right form of treatment for it to be manageable.
Denay - don't forget that you were quite lucky with your situation. Not everyone manages to help their loved one get their bipolar under control - some people never manage it. Others of us are just damn lucky that we can hold down jobs and appear stable (whatever that means for each individual) for relatively long spells of time. Just because things worked out for you, they won't automatically do so for everyone else,. much as we all hope they will.
Lexy - wishing you loads of strength and understanding!!
Sarah (bipolar for 20-odd years) xxxx
Hi (((Lexi)))
Sounds like he has stopped taking his medication.
Have you contacted the GP and asked for support for the family?
This illness can have lasting effects on you and those around him. Try not to take to heart the things he accuses you of doing. He is going through a rough time at present.
Who is his support worker or nurse? I would ask your GP about him having a nurse call regularly to check him and give him a chance to talk about his problems.
Have you thought about joining the 'MIND support groups' in your area. This would get your brother into the company of other sufferers and their families and find ways to cope.
I would think about these things now. Your mum and yourself need help to cope. Don't feel guilty, it is natural to feel hurt and it is important you keep everything as normal as possible.
Feeling it for you.
Love MG.xx:)