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Worried about what a teacher said....
charliestubbs
Posts: 3,448 Forum Member
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During my school breaktime today, a teacher came into the playground shouting for us all to hurry inside. He then came over to the far side of the playground where a group of my friends were, beckoned them to hurry inside and then shouted to a rather overweight boy in my friendship group , so that the groups of people around him could hear, "Will you hurry up? You might actually loose some weight!"
The boy was pretty sensitive about his weight and was getting upset by the comment and laughs from other students. My friends were saying that the teacher had no right to say that, and the boy asked me whether it would be worthing telling the headteacher about it, as he feels it was just a nasty thing to say to a pupil, and shouldn't be allowed.
Do you think this is acceptable and do you think my friend should go to someone of higher authority about this?
The boy was pretty sensitive about his weight and was getting upset by the comment and laughs from other students. My friends were saying that the teacher had no right to say that, and the boy asked me whether it would be worthing telling the headteacher about it, as he feels it was just a nasty thing to say to a pupil, and shouldn't be allowed.
Do you think this is acceptable and do you think my friend should go to someone of higher authority about this?
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I don't know if telling will do anything tbh, and i wouldn't take it any further if the boy dosen't want it to, as he may not want to talk about.
Everyone's too soft these days, teachers don't know what they can say and the pupils don't know how to take it.
Man up everybody.
But home truths from your teachers toughens you up in preparation for later life. These days where you're not allowed to criticise kids at all leaves them in no standing for corporate life where you have to give as good as you get.
My nephew killed himself this week because of this kind of attitude. He was being bullied, but according to the headteacher there's no bullying problem at the school. Bullying of any kind, from child or teacher is totally unacceptable, and telling people to "man up" is so unbelievably short-sighted it makes me want to scream.
So sorry to hear about your nephew.
But is there a bigger picture - bullying from fellow pupils whilst teachers are now towing the PC line?
I don't know what it's like in schools today - it's 25 years since I was at high school but back then the teachers bullied as much as the pupils. If the teachers are going soft it's going to leave pupils in a sort of WTF scenario where one peer group is telling you one thing ("you fat bastard") but another (the teachers) are saying that it's OK to be fat etc.
Thanks.
I kind of see what you're saying, but there's a huge difference between being able to take a bit of friendly banter and having to put up with being verbally abused or bullied. IMO, a teacher making a comment like that about an overweight kid who's sensitive about his weight is not acceptable. It sets an example to the other kids that it's ok to make fun of someone because of how they look.
If the teacher had just said hurry up, that would in no way imply that being overweight was OK. So don't really get what JPDorset is saying there.
That teachers bullied as much as fellow pupils when I was at school in the 70s/80s - what part don't you get?
I'm so sorry your family has had to go through this.
OP it's unacceptable. And you should speak to one of the other teachers you trust if you are concerned. It's not over reacting. Though I understand that is difficult if your friend would rather ignore it.
If this had happened to me as a child, i'd have told me dad, who'd have been straight down the school and raised hell with the headteacher about it. Pupils have little power at school. But bullying by teachers should not be allowed and parents have much more power when it comes to making teachers sweat.
I wore glasses very nearly an inch thick at school as a result of cataract removal (there were no replacement implant ops 35 years ago), and from my first day at infant school I had a hard time. There were times teachers made fun of me as well as being bullied by the other kids, and by the time I went to secondary school I had already tried to kill myself several times. Their comments have not made me a better person, in fact I'd say the opposite. I still have nightmares about some of the things that were said and dome to me.
OP, does your school have any parent governors? I'd suggest taking it to them rather than the head, personally.
Errodiel - so sorry to hear your news. My thoughts go out to you and all your family.
I'd tell both parents and the headmaster - possibly the head of year too - whoever will be sympathetic to the boy. I speak as an ex-teacher who has had my knuckles rapped for using inappropriate language (it was nothing too awful - promise!). Even if the teacher isn't formally disciplined, it might be a reminder to watch what he says in future. Schools can be awful, bullying places and there are times when teachers meet with so much coarse, abusive behaviour it is very tempting to sink to that level. I'm not excusing the teacher at all - but I think that sometimes certain people may need reminding that just because they hear coarse language (often directed at them), it doesn't mean they have a right to join in the general slanging match that is school life.
Errodiel - Sympathies to your family. I do hope that the people who made him so unhappy are not allowed to continue in their bullying.
It's not the place of a teacher to deliver 'home truths' by hurling insults within earshot of many students. It's insulting and degrading. If there are concerns about a students' health it needs dealing with properly. Don't try to pretend this comment was made out of concern for the child, or to help him, that's a ridiculous suggestion!
The word is banter. But come on, while there is no disgrace over being unsure of a word, a teacher at least should check before posting
I also disagree with the comment being "outrageous" and "off the scale" but I do think it unnecessary. However, what is more cruel is overfeeding your children to the extent they suffer unmerciful digs such as these.
I am desperately sad to hear that and shocked and disgusted with the headteacher's attitude. My condolences to you and your family.
OP. Tell your friend to speak to his parents and get them, to report it. The teacher was out of order and that sort of language is bullying. The teacher is setting a shocking example to other student's who could use that episode to them justify their bullying.
Its bullying. Besides we don't know all the facts. It could be genetics. It could be due to a developmental issue such as dyspraxia
Not all people are fat due to overeating.
Some can not put on muscle like me due to rheumatic fever and the older you get the more frail and in pain you become.
Think before you type!
The thing is though...
He has daggers out for the teacher who is looking after his welfare, if he worked to lose some weight it might suit him better.
And make him feel further inadequate? Even lonelier? Even more depressed?
The best way is to find out what is causing it via a Doctor and counselling. Not by attacking and bullying.
it`s being cruel to be cruel.