Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 9)

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Simi89 wrote: »
Bad editing hmmm..does Phizzle just want them not to include all of their outrageous behaviour then? Hmm I don't think Director Dan would have had enough material to have done a show without the "bad editing"

Tbh despite all of the shocking bits of series 3, I've come to find the Chawners rather boring now. To quote what was said to Emma Chawner when she turned up with Phizzle to audition for The X Factor again, The joke has worn thin, except this all isn't a joke :( they truly are awful. They are not celebrities, they are nothing more than deluded bigoted lazy rude scroungers apart from Sam and even she leaves a lot to be desired.
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    • i_am_a_gremlini_am_a_gremlin Posts: 3,722
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      woooohooooooooo!!!!! PART 9......get in!!!!!!!

      :D:D:D:D:D

      eta IM FIRST|!!!!!!!!!
    • greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
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      woooohooooooooo!!!!! PART 9......get in!!!!!!!

      :D:D:D:D:D

      eta IM FIRST|!!!!!!!!!

      And I'm second, woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!


      Now lets's find something interesting to say about the Chawners to keep this thread going, you know Jade would have wanted that.
    • i_am_a_gremlini_am_a_gremlin Posts: 3,722
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      ummmmmmm......interesting you say....:confused:

      ehh....they have loads of animals??

      :D
    • mrs.deschanelmrs.deschanel Posts: 3,545
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      Only one more day to the big fat vow renewal. Be careful not to eat for at least two hours beforehand and have a sick dish ready for the gappy toothed kiss. I may be covering my eyes and screaming NOooooooo at that point. Will Peter Andre and Eammon Holmes turn up? Will Fraudrey's hair decoration come off and fly away, will Phil trim his nasal hair bush, will the bench they all pose on for photos buckle under the strain of over 80 stone and will Director Quiffy Pants Dan announce an unnecessary fourth series? Too many unanswered questions.

      I now solemnly vow that if series 4 is the same old crap of overeating, laziness and lies with Philth groping Emma I will make sure I never watch Bio again.
    • xmel05xmel05 Posts: 8,079
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      Maybe they will have a pancake, cake for the big day!!!
    • greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
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      Only one more day to the big fat vow renewal. Be careful not to eat for at least two hours beforehand and have a sick dish ready for the gappy toothed kiss. I may be covering my eyes and screaming NOooooooo at that point. Will Peter Andre and Eammon Holmes turn up? Will Fraudrey's hair decoration come off and fly away, will Phil trim his nasal hair bush, will the bench they all pose on for photos buckle under the strain of over 80 stone and will Director Quiffy Pants Dan announce an unnecessary fourth series? Too many unanswered questions.

      I now solemnly vow that if series 4 is the same old crap of overeating, laziness and lies with Philth groping Emma I will make sure I never watch Bio again.

      Now you know you don't mean that.:D I'm sure that if there is another series, we will be watching just to see how awful it can be and if anything has changed.
    • mrs.deschanelmrs.deschanel Posts: 3,545
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      Nope - I'm done. My viewing figure will not be striking Philth's ego. Instead I'll read what you lot think instead and then I don't have to look at those moon faced liars again.
    • hammerfanhammerfan Posts: 1,696
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      Woo Hoo - Part 9 - who'd of guessed it!

      I want to see Audrey picking that dead bird for her hair, I wonder how bad were the ones she turned down???? Or did Emma & Sam chose it for her?

      There is something I'm a bit scared to mention - but will go for it........... do you think there's a chance that bio might confuse some of our "contact us" contacts for ones of interest rather than the complaints being what they were - complaints of how the animals were "looked after". If they're viewing this information as a way to gauge how popular the family are - we might have doomed ourselves to a 4th series. I really hope not, unless its something clearly pointing out to the family that they're not "celebs", they're more "freak of the week". (for want of a better phrase).
    • lotty27lotty27 Posts: 17,858
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      Only one more day to the big fat vow renewal. Be careful not to eat for at least two hours beforehand and have a sick dish ready for the gappy toothed kiss. I may be covering my eyes and screaming NOooooooo at that point. Will Peter Andre and Eammon Holmes turn up? Will Fraudrey's hair decoration come off and fly away, will Phil trim his nasal hair bush, will the bench they all pose on for photos buckle under the strain of over 80 stone and will Director Quiffy Pants Dan announce an unnecessary fourth series? Too many unanswered questions.

      I now solemnly vow that if series 4 is the same old crap of overeating, laziness and lies with Philth groping Emma I will make sure I never watch Bio again.

      PART 9! Wow!

      Now I actually am looking forward to tomorrow nights episode just to see how empty the venue looks, didn't someone say that only about 15 people turned up? The shame! :D Plus classics in store such as seeing Audrey getting her chin hair trimmed by Emma (riveting stuff! But the poor woman really has got it all going for her hasn't she?!). Will Emma take a pair of garden shears to Phil's nose hair too? Will Aud make it to the altar without p!ssing herself? Will Sam have another tantrum if she thinks something on the buffet has evil oil in it? (but obviously mochas, pizzas and sticky toffee puds are perfectly acceptable ;)) And miracle! Philth actually wearing socks and sparing us from the sight of those legs and feet - there IS a God! The old video from when they got married 25 years ago should be interesting in compare and contrast way however from the rapid snaps on the trailer neither of them have ever been raving beauties!

      I wonder if either of them spared a thought on this day for their oldest child? The one who's been banished? How could they enjoy it without him being there? (Just a side thought, was Auds preggers when they got married or was Christopher already born? Is there only a year or so between him and Sam?) He wasn't even mentioned when they saw the psychologist from what we saw. He's the elephant in the room to me every time I watch it. I just don't know how you could abandon your child for something so stupid and unreasonable as wanting his own family. Good God, typing that just brings it home how bloody weird they are.

      But I digress and I agree with MrsD, we need to have a sick bucket at the side of us and have our meals well before it comes on. They put my mum off her meal the last time she tried to eat and view, she literally felt nauseous the rest of the night :D
    • mrs.deschanelmrs.deschanel Posts: 3,545
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      They are good for my current diet. I'm sticking with meal replacements and an hour of strenuous exercise every day. I was knackered after today's gym session but I'm determined not to be a Chawner sized person. Tomorrow night will make me not want to nibble as well so that's a bonus. I may even bring up my low fat, carb free tea.
    • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 454
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      Apologies if this has already been mentioned. Have a look:
      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chawner

      I just love the trailer for the wedding. The old videos :D reminds me of the days before hair straighteners. Also, who's the lady to the right of the happy couple in the 1980's? She's holding a baby. Is that Phil's sister? She looks very Phil-like.
    • wannabegothchavwannabegothchav Posts: 1,690
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      Loopzilla wrote: »
      Apologies if this has already been mentioned. Have a look:
      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chawner

      I just love the trailer for the wedding. The old videos :D reminds me of the days before hair straighteners. Also, who's the lady to the right of the happy couple in the 1980's? She's holding a baby. Is that Phil's sister? She looks very Phil-like.

      Hahahahaha Love it!
    • lorrylorry Posts: 2,737
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      They are good for my current diet. I'm sticking with meal replacements and an hour of strenuous exercise every day. I was knackered after today's gym session but I'm determined not to be a Chawner sized person. Tomorrow night will make me not want to nibble as well so that's a bonus. I may even bring up my low fat, carb free tea.
      This applies to me too.

      And that's the reason I DO want another series of the Chompers, to keep me motivated to keep on the diet and exercise regime. They've been the best thing ever for me health-wise.
    • charmingbillycharmingbilly Posts: 1,718
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      Loopzilla wrote: »
      Apologies if this has already been mentioned. Have a look:
      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chawner

      :D

      Phizzle take note: one of the submitted definitions is from a Kiwi.

      They don't all think you rock after all.
    • jerseyporterjerseyporter Posts: 2,332
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      lotty27 wrote: »
      PART 9! Wow!

      Now I actually am looking forward to tomorrow nights episode just to see how empty the venue looks, didn't someone say that only about 15 people turned up? The shame! :D Plus classics in store such as seeing Audrey getting her chin hair trimmed by Emma (riveting stuff! But the poor woman really has got it all going for her hasn't she?!). Will Emma take a pair of garden shears to Phil's nose hair too? Will Aud make it to the altar without p!ssing herself? Will Sam have another tantrum if she thinks something on the buffet has evil oil in it? (but obviously mochas, pizzas and sticky toffee puds are perfectly acceptable ;)) And miracle! Philth actually wearing socks and sparing us from the sight of those legs and feet - there IS a God! The old video from when they got married 25 years ago should be interesting in compare and contrast way however from the rapid snaps on the trailer neither of them have ever been raving beauties!

      I wonder if either of them spared a thought on this day for their oldest child? The one who's been banished? How could they enjoy it without him being there? (Just a side thought, was Auds preggers when they got married or was Christopher already born? Is there only a year or so between him and Sam?) He wasn't even mentioned when they saw the psychologist from what we saw. He's the elephant in the room to me every time I watch it. I just don't know how you could abandon your child for something so stupid and unreasonable as wanting his own family. Good God, typing that just brings it home how bloody weird they are.

      But I digress and I agree with MrsD, we need to have a sick bucket at the side of us and have our meals well before it comes on. They put my mum off her meal the last time she tried to eat and view, she literally felt nauseous the rest of the night :D

      I also asked the question about the therapist not mentioning their son in Part 8 - it seemed strange that she was hell-bent on getting to the bottom of the 'family dynamic' by making them all change places on the pretend sofas, but failed to get them to own up to banishing their only son. Unless she did and it was edited out... but I have a feeling it wasn't mentioned at all.

      As you say, banished because he wanted a life of his own with a partner and child... but as we saw for ourselves last week it's no longer just our idle supposition that Phil wants to control his children to such a degree that they can't leave home to live their own lives - we saw and heard his reaction to the idea out of his own mouth. "Don't come running to me when it all goes wrong..." Gee, Dad, thanks for the support - exactly what a loving, caring, nurturing parent SHOULD say... NOT! The man's a dangerous control-freak - and still no one is actually confronting it as it should be confronted. Not the therapist, not Director Dan, not anyone. It's the least 'funny' (and I use the word advisedly) part of this series, the way that Phil's true nature has shown itself in all its ugly glory :mad:
    • lorrylorry Posts: 2,737
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      I wonder if their son has taken out some sort of injunction, or got Bio to agree at the least, to stop his existence being referred to on TV?

      I know Bio did mention their grand-daughter in one of the previous series but maybe they've deliberately not referred to either of them in this latest one for some legal reason?
    • Tudor6222Tudor6222 Posts: 992
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      I also asked the question about the therapist not mentioning their son in Part 8 - it seemed strange that she was hell-bent on getting to the bottom of the 'family dynamic' by making them all change places on the pretend sofas, but failed to get them to own up to banishing their only son. Unless she did and it was edited out... but I have a feeling it wasn't mentioned at all.

      As you say, banished because he wanted a life of his own with a partner and child... but as we saw for ourselves last week it's no longer just our idle supposition that Phil wants to control his children to such a degree that they can't leave home to live their own lives - we saw and heard his reaction to the idea out of his own mouth. "Don't come running to me when it all goes wrong..." Gee, Dad, thanks for the support - exactly what a loving, caring, nurturing parent SHOULD say... NOT! The man's a dangerous control-freak - and still no one is actually confronting it as it should be confronted. Not the therapist, not Director Dan, not anyone. It's the least 'funny' (and I use the word advisedly) part of this series, the way that Phil's true nature has shown itself in all its ugly glory :mad:

      I think they'd need extremely intensive therapy to ever get to the bottom of their problems. I often wonder what kind of relationship Phil had with his parents. Did he have a father present in his life or any siblings? What was his relationship with his mother like? Was she extremely controlling and he's taken her role with Aud and the girls? If so, he obviously had a very good teacher. It's no good them having an hour's therapy solely for the cameras, the cracks in their family go far, far deeper than that - possibly beyond repair, but as they just don't have the intelligence or insight to see or think that they have anything wrong with their family dynamic, therapy just won't work. I'm sure we all heard Director Dan ask Phil if it had done any good, and he denied it had, so it seems to be a case of there's none so blind as those that won't see.

      As you've said, Phil is the control freak - ''don't come running to me'' etc when running to a parent for help or comfort is exactly what a child should be able to do when things go wrong. Aud and her ''I LIKE you both'' - not LOVE - the woman appears to have no concept of such an emotion. No wonder those girls are so f***ed up, and if they ever do manage to get away, that kind of behaviour will be passed down AGAIN. I still don't think the girls will leave. They're too locked in their own dysfunction and think their family is the same as everyone else's. The truth of what the therapist asked about 10 years time is that Phil will have had both legs off, Aud will be totally bedbound and the girls will be together locked in their own private circle of Hell until they die.
    • xmel05xmel05 Posts: 8,079
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      Who is their son?!!!
    • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 22,198
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      :D Yeah! Congrats all on making it to Part 9.

      I only wish there was a certainty of there being a Part 10, but this series has been such a downer that the numerous laughs and banter we used to enjoy on a daily basis seem to have gone down the Swanee.

      I'll have to switch over to the Ian Hyland thread which is always good for a bit of a giggle.

      There's definitely nothing to giggle about with the Chawners, that's for sure.
    • jerseyporterjerseyporter Posts: 2,332
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      lorry wrote: »
      I wonder if their son has taken out some sort of injunction, or got Bio to agree at the least, to stop his existence being referred to on TV?

      I know Bio did mention their grand-daughter in one of the previous series but maybe they've deliberately not referred to either of them in this latest one for some legal reason?

      BIB - Good point - hadn't thought it might be because the son didn't want to be mentioned (I'm sure Kimmaton knows, but it's not up to her to tell us if it's a sensitive subject)
      Tudor6222 wrote: »
      I think they'd need extremely intensive therapy to ever get to the bottom of their problems. I often wonder what kind of relationship Phil had with his parents. Did he have a father present in his life or any siblings? What was his relationship with his mother like? Was she extremely controlling and he's taken her role with Aud and the girls? If so, he obviously had a very good teacher. It's no good them having an hour's therapy solely for the cameras, the cracks in their family go far, far deeper than that - possibly beyond repair, but as they just don't have the intelligence or insight to see or think that they have anything wrong with their family dynamic, therapy just won't work. I'm sure we all heard Director Dan ask Phil if it had done any good, and he denied it had, so it seems to be a case of there's none so blind as those that won't see.

      As you've said, Phil is the control freak - ''don't come running to me'' etc when running to a parent for help or comfort is exactly what a child should be able to do when things go wrong. Aud and her ''I LIKE you both'' - not LOVE - the woman appears to have no concept of such an emotion. No wonder those girls are so f***ed up, and if they ever do manage to get away, that kind of behaviour will be passed down AGAIN. I still don't think the girls will leave. They're too locked in their own dysfunction and think their family is the same as everyone else's. The truth of what the therapist asked about 10 years time is that Phil will have had both legs off, Aud will be totally bedbound and the girls will be together locked in their own private circle of Hell until they die.

      BIB - yes, as many of us confirmed by our comments in Part 8, sadly lots of us are thinking the same things (mainly because lots of us actually know what constitutes loving, positive, productive parenting and the Chawners ain't it). I see the negative effects of bad parenting all the time in my various teaching roles - you despair because you can see exactly how the bad models are copied by subsequent generations.

      And as for Aud not understanding the distinction between loving and liking her children, as a few of us pointed out before it's possible, sometimes, not to 'like' what our children do, but we always (ALWAYS) assure them that we love them. Aud seemed to be saying (just like that) that she would suddenly 'like' everything Sam did and never dislike anything ever again, and never say negative things to Sam ever again. It was a totally immature and a totally unrealistic promise to make (as the therapist tried to point out). But Aud is more emotionally stunted than all of them in many ways - she literally hasn't got the ability to comprehend these mature, complex emotions and differences. She's more child-like than her children in many ways.

      As you say, there's none so blind that will not see, and there is not enough therapy available in the world to make a dent in this dysfunctional family's problems. The way Phil so easily wrote off the family therapy session in the last episode showed that for sure (just in case any of us were holding out a vague hope for improvement!).

      What is also disturbing is the way Audrey just 'parrots' and repeats whatever thought/idea that the last person (usually Phil, but it has happened with the professional 'help' as well) has said - she went from believing trifle was healthy to agreeing with the nutritonist and Phil that it wasn't in the blink of an eye, and parroted Phil's comment about the therapy being a waste of time this week in the same way. It's the same with her views on illness, the unemployed, anything really - she just repeats what she's heard, either immediately after it's said, or at some future point down the line. She has not shown herself to be overly blessed in the independent thought department!

      Oh God - why do we torture ourselves with this awful family?!
    • Tudor6222Tudor6222 Posts: 992
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      lorry wrote: »

      I know Bio did mention their grand-daughter in one of the previous series but maybe they've deliberately not referred to either of them in this latest one for some legal reason?

      On the trailer for this week's show of the 'wedding vow' travesty, I think I've seen a few shots of Alicia. Presumably that was the last time she saw any of the Chunkies? :confused:
    • lotty27lotty27 Posts: 17,858
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      lorry wrote: »
      I wonder if their son has taken out some sort of injunction, or got Bio to agree at the least, to stop his existence being referred to on TV?

      I know Bio did mention their grand-daughter in one of the previous series but maybe they've deliberately not referred to either of them in this latest one for some legal reason?

      I never thought that their son could have asked that he isn't mentioned, can't blame him I must say. However I don't think that he gets mentioned on a day to day basis at all in that house - Phil's probably banned any utterance of his name! There's seemingly only room for one alpha male :rolleyes:
      BIB - Good point - hadn't thought it might be because the son didn't want to be mentioned (I'm sure Kimmaton knows, but it's not up to her to tell us if it's a sensitive subject)



      BIB - yes, as many of us confirmed by our comments in Part 8, sadly lots of us are thinking the same things (mainly because lots of us actually know what constitutes loving, positive, productive parenting and the Chawners ain't it). I see the negative effects of bad parenting all the time in my various teaching roles - you despair because you can see exactly how the bad models are copied by subsequent generations.

      And as for Aud not understanding the distinction between loving and liking her children, as a few of us pointed out before it's possible, sometimes, not to 'like' what our children do, but we always (ALWAYS) assure them that we love them. Aud seemed to be saying (just like that) that she would suddenly 'like' everything Sam did and never dislike anything ever again, and never say negative things to Sam ever again. It was a totally immature and a totally unrealistic promise to make (as the therapist tried to point out). But Aud is more emotionally stunted than all of them in many ways - she literally hasn't got the ability to comprehend these mature, complex emotions and differences. She's more child-like than her children in many ways.

      As you say, there's none so blind that will not see, and there is not enough therapy available in the world to make a dent in this dysfunctional family's problems. The way Phil so easily wrote off the family therapy session in the last episode showed that for sure (just in case any of us were holding out a vague hope for improvement!).

      What is also disturbing is the way Audrey just 'parrots' and repeats whatever thought/idea that the last person (usually Phil, but it has happened with the professional 'help' as well) has said - she went from believing trifle was healthy to agreeing with the nutritonist and Phil that it wasn't in the blink of an eye, and parroted Phil's comment about the therapy being a waste of time this week in the same way. It's the same with her views on illness, the unemployed, anything really - she just repeats what she's heard, either immediately after it's said, or at some future point down the line. She has not shown herself to be overly blessed in the independent thought department!

      Oh God - why do we torture ourselves with this awful family?!

      BIB: Because we still can't believe what we're seeing! :eek::D


      (Great post by the way!)
    • Tudor6222Tudor6222 Posts: 992
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      And as for Aud not understanding the distinction between loving and liking her children, as a few of us pointed out before it's possible, sometimes, not to 'like' what our children do, but we always (ALWAYS) assure them that we love them. Aud seemed to be saying (just like that) that she would suddenly 'like' everything Sam did and never dislike anything ever again, and never say negative things to Sam ever again. It was a totally immature and a totally unrealistic promise to make (as the therapist tried to point out). But Aud is more emotionally stunted than all of them in many ways - she literally hasn't got the ability to comprehend these mature, complex emotions and differences. She's more child-like than her children in many ways.

      Having children myself I know exactly what you mean, but for her to say she LIKES rather than LOVES her children in such a situation as having the cameras on her is something I just can't comprehend. I wonder exactly what kind of hell she went through as a possibly fat and unattractive child who'd been virtually given away.
      What is also disturbing is the way Audrey just 'parrots' and repeats whatever thought/idea that the last person (usually Phil, but it has happened with the professional 'help' as well) has said - she went from believing trifle was healthy to agreeing with the nutritonist and Phil that it wasn't in the blink of an eye, and parroted Phil's comment about the therapy being a waste of time this week in the same way. It's the same with her views on illness, the unemployed, anything really - she just repeats what she's heard, either immediately after it's said, or at some future point down the line. She has not shown herself to be overly blessed in the independent thought department!

      Oh God - why do we torture ourselves with this awful family?!

      She loves Phil with such a blind devotion, she thinks he's some kind of god. :eek: She's no idea of real love or respect as she probably never had any when she was growing up, feels Phil is the best she'll get, and that the way he verbally and psychologically abuses her is the way other men behave to their wives. The girls see Phil abusing Aud, so think they can do the same. Aud isn't capable of having an independent viewpoint as her life's spent indoors with Phil and even watching the TV news and reading papers doesn't help her world view as in her eyes Phil is the way, the truth and the life.
    • alfiewozerealfiewozere Posts: 29,508
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      Part 9 eh? Calebolly would be so proud.

      I can't see the thread continuing to part 10 though, my Chawner days are numbered.

      Like so many posters, I have become completely disenchanted with them - and in the good old days of Big Fat Challenge, there were some laugh out loud comedy gold moments.

      Sadly that has been lacking in this present series, and I am struggling to find anything remotely amusing about watching an emotionally abusive family live their dysfunctional lives.

      Even the facebook comments aren't funny - Phil Chawner fails to recognise sarcasm and genuinely thinks New Zealand thinks they rock. His delusional is pitiful and if he wasn't such an arse, I'd feel sorry for him.
    • alfiewozerealfiewozere Posts: 29,508
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      Loopzilla wrote: »
      Apologies if this has already been mentioned. Have a look:
      http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chawner

      I just love the trailer for the wedding. The old videos :D reminds me of the days before hair straighteners. Also, who's the lady to the right of the happy couple in the 1980's? She's holding a baby. Is that Phil's sister? She looks very Phil-like.
      Oh now that I like. I think a twitter link is needed here - just in case no-one has informed Phil his family have made to the urban dictionary:D:D
    This discussion has been closed.