Asperger's/Autism APPRECIATION thread...
Sadperson
Posts: 12,529 Forum Member
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In line with this post by Beth: http://forum.digitalspy.co.uk/board/showpost.php?p=4457953&postcount=440
I thought it was about time those of us who wish to discuss autistic spectrum conditions in an adult and non-judgemental way had somewhere where we could safely do so. That is, somewhere where we do NOT have to tolerate comments about the validity of these conditions (e.g. XYZ does not exist/has been invented to excuse poor parenting) but where we can exchange experiences, offer support and advice, provide information etc.
It struck me after yet another thread got hurtful and was closed that there are a lot of parents/relatives/friends/partners on here and potentially a lot of people with ASDs themselves. So let's have somewhere "safe" to post please.
I'll start the ball rolling by introducing myself - mother of a 12 year old boy who was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (AS) when he was six, I am also the wife of an undiagnosed self-confessed probable Aspie. Have also worked as a learning support to children with AS and ADHD (among other things!) Just passed my Postgraduate Certificate in Asperger Syndrome, which was an attempt to "formalise" my knowledge and experience - hopefully now I will be taken more seriously than "an emotionally involved parent". :mad:
I do feel strongly that as parents we are the experts in our children and our views need to be taken more seriously. I would urge anyone whose LEA sports a "Parent Partnership Service" to join it and actively participate. I'm about to be trained as an Independent Parental Supporter and have just been appointed by my local service to represent the views of parents whose children have Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASDs) in confronting our LEA professionals about their Learning Inclusion and SEN policy. I figure there's no point in moaning about the problems we face unless we do it to the right people.
Having said that, a good moan to each other is perfectly acceptable...
and can often help you present a more rational and coherent moan to the LEA once you've finished ranting :cool:
So who else is out there?
I thought it was about time those of us who wish to discuss autistic spectrum conditions in an adult and non-judgemental way had somewhere where we could safely do so. That is, somewhere where we do NOT have to tolerate comments about the validity of these conditions (e.g. XYZ does not exist/has been invented to excuse poor parenting) but where we can exchange experiences, offer support and advice, provide information etc.
It struck me after yet another thread got hurtful and was closed that there are a lot of parents/relatives/friends/partners on here and potentially a lot of people with ASDs themselves. So let's have somewhere "safe" to post please.
I'll start the ball rolling by introducing myself - mother of a 12 year old boy who was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (AS) when he was six, I am also the wife of an undiagnosed self-confessed probable Aspie. Have also worked as a learning support to children with AS and ADHD (among other things!) Just passed my Postgraduate Certificate in Asperger Syndrome, which was an attempt to "formalise" my knowledge and experience - hopefully now I will be taken more seriously than "an emotionally involved parent". :mad:
I do feel strongly that as parents we are the experts in our children and our views need to be taken more seriously. I would urge anyone whose LEA sports a "Parent Partnership Service" to join it and actively participate. I'm about to be trained as an Independent Parental Supporter and have just been appointed by my local service to represent the views of parents whose children have Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASDs) in confronting our LEA professionals about their Learning Inclusion and SEN policy. I figure there's no point in moaning about the problems we face unless we do it to the right people.
Having said that, a good moan to each other is perfectly acceptable...
and can often help you present a more rational and coherent moan to the LEA once you've finished ranting :cool:So who else is out there?
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Comments
(JG opens bag with champagne in and passes a glass to SadP)
Bottoms up!
What she said, I've come with the olives, dips and bread.
*pops in and raises a glass to Sadperson.:)
I know that these conditions do exist and can be very devastating before and after diagnosis. I takes a special person to tbe able to cope with it. in a positive way Congrats to you for taking the bull by the horns and learning more about it so that you can not only help your own family but others as well.:)
That's seriously impressive, SP. Applauds very loudly indeed.
I don't have any personal experience but I've pointed out the thread to my sister in case she is interested!
cheese ham n tom or continental veg anyone??
can't stop - off to collect one of 'em from school, the other is going to his music class
laterssssss
Oh, help yourself to the quiche - got another 2 trayloads back here
The heat is advancing my senile decay - I did not spot this earlier.
Maybe Beth could pin at about position 3 or summat, otherwise it will drop to the bottom and the subject matter and topic might get 'lost'.
(meaning......I can never find things if they are not at the top of the screen
Would this be a good idea?
ooh whoops neitehr did I!!
Congratulations on your appointment
aanddfan - Asperger's is a social communication disorder on the autistic spectrum. People with AS generally have poor social skills, often have high IQ, their use of language can seem "odd" and their behaviour innappropriate. That's a really broad summary, there's much more to it than that - lots of websites around but probably the best specific to AS is the Tony Attwood site - http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/ - click on "What is Asperger's Syndrome" and then read his own view of it which says it all better than I possibly can.
Note to any parents out there who have never seen Tony Attwood speak - if you ever get the chance to, grab it with both hands - he's brilliant. Not that I'm a groupie or anything
P.S. Weedle - use the thread tools button to add this thread to your list of subscriptions - then whenever anyone adds anything you'll get an email from DS telling that they have
You could just "bump" it every so often. I don't see it getting pinned though like a "sticky".. That would be giving preferential treatment and people would complain.
Without giving out too much of my personal situaton (as that always seems to attract trouble) I have no doubt that AS and other ASDs exist and I'm always interested in reading posts on the subject from other parents and those affected.
Beth.
aanddfan
It is a communication disorder. People with Aspergers tend to be highly intelligent but have problems with non verbal communication. Believe it or not much of our communication is non verbal and they find it very difficult to interpret this. Because of this they struggle with social situations and communication. The example that tends to be given is the school nerd/boffin who doesn't mix well with other children but is exceptionally intelligent. To be honest I am not keen to perputrate this but it does explain the condition well.
I am a mother of a nine year old son with Autism and ADHD. I agree with everything in Sadperson's original post. I am currently half way through a Open Uni degree in Psychololgy that I started to enable me to get a better understanding of the condition as basically professionals can't give parents much information as so little is known on the condition.
I am very lucky in that my Education Department is excellent however the problem is not an issue of funding but identifying a suitable service. Unfortunately the same can't be said of the social services department.
Well done Sadperson for starting the thread it would be nice to have a positive thread for a change without the negativity.
http://books.guardian.co.uk/whitbread2003/story/0,14026,1135593,00.html
Indeed - in fact I wonder if perhaps mods should be told if you have AS, because I do know of a few FMs who have got themselves into trouble by being unable to see other FMs point of view, and posting stuff that seems crass/insensitive to the rest of us "neurotypicals." But I would think these forums have the potential to be a superb learning environment if you have AS - the opportunity to discuss without the non-verbal cues the rest of us rely on places us on a more equal footing.
I guess it also helps you to learn about sarcasm and inference too, which was a sticky area for my son (but we worked on it
http://forum.digitalspy.co.uk/board/showthread.php?t=179948&highlight=negative+publicity
I have taught a number of Asberger's pupils in my career and I find that they struggle in mainstream schooling due to lack of proper support. The more knowledge people share, the better it will be for all sufferers of Autistic spectrum Disorders.
United we stand!
Agnus Dei
I have also worked in a school for children with ASDs. I had several friends with children with varying degrees os Autism and Aspergers plus we are awaiting for Mr AS1 to see someone for a possible diagnosis of Aspergers (although I think we both know that it is there with him, just a diagnosis would make his life a lot easier) I have a house full of books on the subject, it was something I have always been very interested in and based a lot of my uni work around the subject.
Good Luck Sadperson, it sounds a very challenging, but rewarding position.
We need more people like you out there, AS1.
'Tis only voluntary though
But I'm still being a support assistant at school as well - they are quite happy for me to take time out to do the voluntary stuff as they get lots of "inside" info as the pay-off.
Good for you Sadperson getting a thread solely for us to come and share experiences with one another. I've no doubt this will be a huge success. The original Aspergers thread that evolved on here, did well too. It's great to have somewhere safe, where we can let off steam if it becomes overwhelming, or equally relax and chat and learn from one another.
I'll dive straight in too. My two sons, who are 13 and 15 have high functioning autism and Asperger's. The challenges never go away, they just change in nature, but no-one can deny that for all the tough days, there are equally many rewarding ones too. I'm so proud of them both.
I recently had some big problems with my oldest son who is shy and usually quiet and and passive. He's doing very well in mainstream, managing to keep up with his peers and is excelling at Science and Maths, but also - unexpectedly Foreign languages, which he only started two eyars ago. The problem though is that he's always had a fear of classroom noise. He says it's the pitch. Even if the kids aren't being disruptive, it's just the sound of the other children just chattering amongst themselves. Because he us unable to tune out and hear what the teacher is saying. As his GCSE's are approaching, he knows he has to work extra hard, so this frustrates him.
Well recently, this reached a head and overwhelmed him. He felt so scared that he wasn't able to control the situation that he broke down and threw and broke school stationery about, said he didn't want to come back to school.
The school were very understanding and we are coming up with strategies to help him. He is allowed to withdraw, without permission if it gets too much, so he doesn't need to find the courage to ask, which he finds hard.
Well anyway, at the time this all erupted, I wanted to ask if anyone had any advice but wasn't sure where the original thread had disappeared to.
So welcome back! Very glad you're here!
Linda
I personally don't have any experience of either autism or Asperger's but I will keep reading this thread with, no doubt, as much interest as the last one
My daughter has autism...she is 8 now and got her dx just before she turned 3.
She now goes to mainstream school and while yes, some of her behaviour can be challenging, she really has come on in leaps and bounds over the years and is quite the chatterbox now...only 3 years ago she barely said anything and wasn't fully toilet trained!
It isn't easy but I really love her just the way she is.
As far as I am concerned her autism is genetic...my nephew has Aspergers so there's definitely something in the family.
That'll be me, then.
One of the things I find hardest is the knowing. I suspect (and correct me if I'm wrong) that many people with more acute autism don't know and/or care about the communucation difficulties. With me, I know I have problems, and it makes things worse. Here's a couple of examples:
I often seemingly have problems taking a joke. Most of the time it's not the taking of the joke that's the problem, it's the seeing of it. It just flies over my head, because I have trouble reading people, especially when I'm tired or stressed.
I have a morbid fear of being 'disapproved' of. At work, I have 70-odd seconds to complete a number of tasks on a car before the next one comes along. If I have a problem, I have a button (or a rope) called an andon, which will summon a team leader for support. If the andon's not reset before the next car reaches my pitch, the line will stop. i'm consatantly trying to avoid pulling the andon, because it means I'll have to deal with someone, usually at a time when I've got my hands full with work (usually because I really should have pulled the andon earlier). I'm always being told 'pull the andon as soon as you have a problem'. Trouble is, oftentimes I have to reset the andon myself as the team leader can't get to me in time. And, no matter what they say, I'm always scared that someone will have a go if I pull the andon too often. Of course, most of the time they're only joking, which I don't pick up because I'm stressed.
The third thing is that if I could change one thing, it'd be the ability to say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. I'd love to be a raconteur... Sometimes I do throw a six, but it's a rare occasion.
By the way, if it seems as if I'm really rather lucid on here, remember that my laptop has a backspace key. My mouth doesn't....