I've just read this with tears flooding down my face. My heart goes out to you OGB and Simon and Mrs Simon. (And every other animal lover here).
Try not to have regrets OGB, as another poster said if you'd taken your buddy home for the weekend he migh have picked up on your distress. As it was he went peacefully and safely to sleep in your arms and if only our pets could speak that's all they'd ask of us.
Don't worry about taking your other one to the vet unnecessarily. There's no need to stress her. Just pay her lots of attention and give her some treats.
You loved your buddy and he loved you back. He'll always be in your heart and you in his.
So sorry for you and your dad but please try not to be angry with him. It must have come as a shock to him and he responded in confusion and perhaps fear. You've described a wonderful loving relationship between him and your cat and your dad will be hurting very deeply but sometimes men don't feel able to show it.
Perhaps you could show him this thread and leave him alone while he reads it so that the tears can flow for him in private?
To all of you whose cats reached the age of 21 it's a testament to your loving care because it's an astonishing old age.
To those whose little maties were taken by illness it's another testament to your loving care that you did your best and let them go.
Oh no. I know just how you feel. <snip> I can't tell you how much I felt I'd let her down
It was so sudden. I so much wish she'd been aware of me with her
It will get better, but it will take time. They are precious. My thoughts are with you.
((Maybe)), it is nearly 19 years but I still feel I let my loyal dog down when I left him for exploratory surgery having agreed they would deepen the anaesthetic if it was bad. I can still see his trusting eyes as I left him, he had been a Rescue dog with 3 homes before us which made it worse.
I have not let any other pet die alone since then, that will now continue as my sons feel the same and a GF joined us last time, she said it was easier to see they are not distressed and the vets are very good about leaving you as long as you want before and after.
OGB, Simon and wife, I feel so sorry for you now, it is hard but it gets better.
Absolutely not. It was horrible and really hard. I had to sign the form and then act happy and normal and talk to him when I was just heartbroken. And I knew he didnt' like the sound of the clippers so I had to try to be calm and distract him. Awful.
I really feel for you but you did the right thing so hang on to that. I lost my cat 2 years ago and it's only now I'm thinking of getting a kitten, been to the dog and cat home and there are so many looking to adopt you!! I know this is too soon for you and I could come out with the old cliches but you sound like a nice caring person, just take each day at a time
Must have finally dozed off around 5am and was startled awake by my mobile ringing at 9.30am. Couldn't answer it.
I was racked with guilt last night. I usually called both of my cats together and last night I accidentally called out both names. The minute I did it I was mortified. She must have thought 'Where is he? I didn't hear him come back'.
There is usually at least one shoe box in my bedroom on the floor. He always used to climb onto it and go to sleep. I haven't had the heart to put it away since Friday as I'm still expecting to turn around and see him lying on top of it.
Absolutely gutting.
Through an overwhelming sense of guilt about the incident last night and generally feeling lost, I was going to go out this morning and buy her all new things (bowls, toilet, toys, treats, bedding) but in a moment of clarity I decided against it as I don't think I should change too much right now as she's probably getting used to being on her own.
ETA: Collybird, Mazey, Maybe, Chessie (everyone) thanks for sharing. My stomach is turning over with grief not just for myself but for all the stories that you've shared. I probably didn't realise the real power of the written word until all of your posts.
OGB, I can remember only too well the pain that I felt, and the physical sense of loss when I knew I'd never hold him again. He was a huge cat, and it didn't matter where I was, he was right there with me. Like you, I ached to hold him again, and the wrenching feeling as I cried for him lasted for a long time.
At least in the end we have the others who still love us and keep us going, and we know that ours had the best lives that we could give them, and not every cat or animal gets that, although they all deserve it.
You'll always miss him, always grieve for him, but you will also have many happy memories of the closeness and love that you shared with him.
Hugs to everyone who has lost a pet, know just what it is like as I have been there a number of times.
Our cat that we had when me and my sister were growing up was a stray and we got her in 1977 when she came to stay for a day. Finally in March 1998 my dad and I had to finally take her to the vet as she was blind, kept passing blood when she went to the loo and really couldn't walk. The nurse couldn't get over how old our puss was as she was younger than our cat.
A few months later I left my husband so I gave my my cat to mum and dad and that helped them get over lossing Munty.
They still have my cat from my marriage and he must be at least 16!!!
My B/F and I have had 4 cats. Fluff and Ging are still with us but sadly we lost Benny and Choo. Choo was run over and killed straight away and old Benny boy had cancer and was very very poorly and finally died in my B/F's arms. Choo was a very dizzy cat and very "blonde" in her behaviour. Benny was a great big bagpuss and weighted over a stone, loved to be cuddled and would wait for us every evening to get home from work. We have had both of them cremated (sorry for spl) and have them with us along with their collars and name tags. I talk to them everytime I dust the living room and also have photo's of them on the fridge. Benny was deff one of a kind.
Our two cats now are lovely, but sadly they were mis-treated by a previous owner so are not lap cats and don't like to be picked up and hugged.
It does get easier as time goes on but I think it's clear from everyone who has posted that our little furry friends do have a special place in our hearts. I know that there are times when I have more of a decent chat with the cats then I do with most humans!!!!:)
Thanks for asking Chessie. Still not sleeping or eating properly since it happened. I'm feeling rough and am still in hiding. I haven't put the house phone back on yet and am now getting messages wondering where I am. Had to let the plumber in and answer the mobile to him so was forced to act 'normally'. I spoke to one friend yesterday (mb), but just coasted through the conversation without really engaging.
I woke up this morning and he wasn't there lying beside me sleeping - though this wasn't really allowed, he'd wait until I fell asleep until he came to bed. He's not tripped me up on the way to the food station at feeding time. He's not been there to greet me when I open the front door. If I was sleeping and he wanted feeding he'd jump on and off the bed until I woke up, or he'd chew the protruding part of a plastic bag in the waste paper basket until the noise was sufficiently annoying enough for me to wake up and attend to him.
My other cat seems fine but I'm keeping a very close eye on her and giving her loads of treats and attention despite her indignation at times. (half a smile)
Take your time, grieve as much as you need to. Eventually, you will find yourself recovering, though it takes a bloody long time.
I couldn't sleep well at first without Wuss, the bed was empty and cold without him.
Even worse, 11 days after I lost Wuss, Tibs, who had grown up with Wuss, had a saddle thrombosis, lost the use of his back legs,and was pts. I'm sure he had a broken heart and was missing Wuss and wanted to be with him, as did I for a very long time. I thought I'd never get over my grief, but I did, albeit slowly, and so will you. The saying 'Life goes on' is hard but also very true.
It's good to have other cats to keep you going, as your little girl will. You'll soon find yourself smiling as you think of the happy times with him, I promise.
Hi
Your other cat may not react how you think she will, I had three cats at one stage, Amber and Tabby were sisters and Bear was one of their kittens. The two sisters were as close as could be, eating, sleeping, grooming each other. First to leave us was Tabby she died of lung cancer at 9:( the youngest cat Bear was always out and about and Amber didn't really like cuddles, Tabby was the cuddly cat, she was always on my knee, Bear was the independent outdoor cat and Amber was the aloof one. Unfortunately Bear died of kidney failure at 8 (she was Ambers kitten).
After being really worried that Amber would grieve:( we were astonished to find that she was now a very cuddly, content cat. She would climb up on our knees and greet us in the morning (she had never done that).
After doing a bit of research re cat behaviour it appeared that although all the cats were close, they had a pecking order and Amber was at the bottom. She had never been really "allowed by the others" to sit on our knees or on the furniture . They had never fought though, it was just a silent chain of command.
Amber lived another 6 years a very cuddly, contented, comical cat until she died of breast cancer two years ago:(
So you may be surprised at your other cats reaction
I totally,totally understand how you feel,OGB.My little cat,Toby - my dear sweet little boy was run over and killed,this morning.He was born in my house and his mum and sister don't know what to do with themselves.Neither do I.
He was such a character - woke me up with a swipe of his paw every morning .. followed me all over the house.He didn't miaow - just a funny little squeaky noise came out of his mouth.
I can't believe that my beautiful little boy is gone.He was only one year old but he was my little man.
I am thinking of you OGB and I hope that you're looking after yourself.God bless. XXX
Thank you for those kind words Chessie - I appreciate that so much. You are so right about words not being enough - but yours were very comforting.I find myself feeling that it's so unfair my little boy having his life taken away so suddenly and violently.My daughter found him and told me NOT to look at him because his injuries were so severe.I can only hope and pray that it was sudden and that he didn't suffer at all.
The thought that he could have done completely slays me.I 've taken a sleeping tablet so hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight.
Thanks again for your kind words.You're very sweet. XX
I always find it a kind of comfort to think of them waiting for me on Rainbow Bridge.
I'm sure he wouldn't have suffered, it would have been quick. I'm not sure how to say this, but if a cat is just injured, he will do his utmost to get away and hide up. Since Toby was found where he was hit, I should think it was instant, he wouldn't have known a thing.
Please don't keep thinking the worst, it won't help you. Take care xx
You're such a kind person,chessie... comforting me from far away down south.He was hit and then moved to the side of the road - so yes... I think it was instant,too.
My sleeping tablet is kicking in so I'll bid you a fond goodnight and once again my heartfelt thanks for being so kind.God bless you and nighty night. XXX
Thankyou, it's nice to know I've helped a little bit. I hope you sleep well, you and OGB and everyone who is going through this horrible pain at the moment. Night night xxx
(((Oosiedaisy))), I just wanted to say how sad I feel reading about your dear little Toby.
I hope by the time you read this you'll have managed to get some sleep during the night - you too OGB.
I don't know what it is about cats - they're mostly take and not much give, we never know what's going on in their little heads, but they still manage to capture our hearts and it's so hard to cope when we lose them.
I've been running about all day today after our new 10-week-old kitten and although she's made me laugh loads, I've cursed her under my breath several times too, as she's such a handful and it's very tiring - but after seeing your post I shall count my blessings when she starts all over again tomorrow morning.
My little cat,Toby - my dear sweet little boy was run over and killed,this morning.He was born in my house and his mum and sister don't know what to do with themselves.Neither do I.
He was such a character - woke me up with a swipe of his paw every morning .. followed me all over the house.He didn't miaow - just a funny little squeaky noise came out of his mouth.
I can't believe that my beautiful little boy is gone.He was only one year old but he was my little man.
!
I am so so sorry from the bottom of my heart. I really don't know what else to say other than I'm thinking of you. I hope you get some sleep tonight.
In floods of tears too.
Hope everyone who's lost pets recently is somehow battling through!.
I had to make the decision to have my gorgeous old girl Bibi pts earlier this year.
She'd been unwell for a few weeks, lost both weight and condition. The vets thought she probably had an adrenal tumour.
I was with her at the end, which I hope was a comfort, and I buried her in a lovely shady spot in the garden.
I miss her so much. She was a funny old thing. It took her years to trust me and even longer for her to seem to like me, but she was beautiful, had the softest sleekest coat, even right to the end, and purred for me even when she must've been so unhappy and uncomfortable.
I have another "not well" cat who's the absolute love of my life. She makes me smile, if not laugh every day and teaches me every day to enjoy each day as it comes.
I reckon pets keep many of us sane.
"Think of me often but not too much" I reckon your puss would be saying, OGB
It's right to mourn him but don't be taken over by your grief.
Life goes on, enjoy your other cat and open you heart to the possibilty of owning another one maybe one day.
Comments
Try not to have regrets OGB, as another poster said if you'd taken your buddy home for the weekend he migh have picked up on your distress. As it was he went peacefully and safely to sleep in your arms and if only our pets could speak that's all they'd ask of us.
Don't worry about taking your other one to the vet unnecessarily. There's no need to stress her. Just pay her lots of attention and give her some treats.
You loved your buddy and he loved you back. He'll always be in your heart and you in his.
So sorry for you and your dad but please try not to be angry with him. It must have come as a shock to him and he responded in confusion and perhaps fear. You've described a wonderful loving relationship between him and your cat and your dad will be hurting very deeply but sometimes men don't feel able to show it.
Perhaps you could show him this thread and leave him alone while he reads it so that the tears can flow for him in private?
To all of you whose cats reached the age of 21 it's a testament to your loving care because it's an astonishing old age.
To those whose little maties were taken by illness it's another testament to your loving care that you did your best and let them go.
Oh dear the tears are coming again.
I have not let any other pet die alone since then, that will now continue as my sons feel the same and a GF joined us last time, she said it was easier to see they are not distressed and the vets are very good about leaving you as long as you want before and after.
OGB, Simon and wife, I feel so sorry for you now, it is hard but it gets better.
I really feel for you but you did the right thing so hang on to that. I lost my cat 2 years ago and it's only now I'm thinking of getting a kitten, been to the dog and cat home and there are so many looking to adopt you!! I know this is too soon for you and I could come out with the old cliches but you sound like a nice caring person, just take each day at a time
I was racked with guilt last night. I usually called both of my cats together and last night I accidentally called out both names. The minute I did it I was mortified. She must have thought 'Where is he? I didn't hear him come back'.
There is usually at least one shoe box in my bedroom on the floor. He always used to climb onto it and go to sleep. I haven't had the heart to put it away since Friday as I'm still expecting to turn around and see him lying on top of it.
Absolutely gutting.
Through an overwhelming sense of guilt about the incident last night and generally feeling lost, I was going to go out this morning and buy her all new things (bowls, toilet, toys, treats, bedding) but in a moment of clarity I decided against it as I don't think I should change too much right now as she's probably getting used to being on her own.
ETA: Collybird, Mazey, Maybe, Chessie (everyone) thanks for sharing. My stomach is turning over with grief not just for myself but for all the stories that you've shared. I probably didn't realise the real power of the written word until all of your posts.
Know just how you feel
At least in the end we have the others who still love us and keep us going, and we know that ours had the best lives that we could give them, and not every cat or animal gets that, although they all deserve it.
You'll always miss him, always grieve for him, but you will also have many happy memories of the closeness and love that you shared with him.
Take care xx
Our cat that we had when me and my sister were growing up was a stray and we got her in 1977 when she came to stay for a day. Finally in March 1998 my dad and I had to finally take her to the vet as she was blind, kept passing blood when she went to the loo and really couldn't walk. The nurse couldn't get over how old our puss was as she was younger than our cat.
A few months later I left my husband so I gave my my cat to mum and dad and that helped them get over lossing Munty.
They still have my cat from my marriage and he must be at least 16!!!
My B/F and I have had 4 cats. Fluff and Ging are still with us but sadly we lost Benny and Choo. Choo was run over and killed straight away and old Benny boy had cancer and was very very poorly and finally died in my B/F's arms. Choo was a very dizzy cat and very "blonde" in her behaviour. Benny was a great big bagpuss and weighted over a stone, loved to be cuddled and would wait for us every evening to get home from work. We have had both of them cremated (sorry for spl) and have them with us along with their collars and name tags. I talk to them everytime I dust the living room and also have photo's of them on the fridge. Benny was deff one of a kind.
Our two cats now are lovely, but sadly they were mis-treated by a previous owner so are not lap cats and don't like to be picked up and hugged.
It does get easier as time goes on but I think it's clear from everyone who has posted that our little furry friends do have a special place in our hearts. I know that there are times when I have more of a decent chat with the cats then I do with most humans!!!!:)
I woke up this morning and he wasn't there lying beside me sleeping - though this wasn't really allowed, he'd wait until I fell asleep until he came to bed. He's not tripped me up on the way to the food station at feeding time. He's not been there to greet me when I open the front door. If I was sleeping and he wanted feeding he'd jump on and off the bed until I woke up, or he'd chew the protruding part of a plastic bag in the waste paper basket until the noise was sufficiently annoying enough for me to wake up and attend to him.
My other cat seems fine but I'm keeping a very close eye on her and giving her loads of treats and attention despite her indignation at times. (half a smile)
My heart is heavy.
I couldn't sleep well at first without Wuss, the bed was empty and cold without him.
Even worse, 11 days after I lost Wuss, Tibs, who had grown up with Wuss, had a saddle thrombosis, lost the use of his back legs,and was pts. I'm sure he had a broken heart and was missing Wuss and wanted to be with him, as did I for a very long time. I thought I'd never get over my grief, but I did, albeit slowly, and so will you. The saying 'Life goes on' is hard but also very true.
It's good to have other cats to keep you going, as your little girl will.
Your other cat may not react how you think she will, I had three cats at one stage, Amber and Tabby were sisters and Bear was one of their kittens. The two sisters were as close as could be, eating, sleeping, grooming each other. First to leave us was Tabby she died of lung cancer at 9:( the youngest cat Bear was always out and about and Amber didn't really like cuddles, Tabby was the cuddly cat, she was always on my knee, Bear was the independent outdoor cat and Amber was the aloof one. Unfortunately Bear died of kidney failure at 8 (she was Ambers kitten).
After being really worried that Amber would grieve:( we were astonished to find that she was now a very cuddly, content cat. She would climb up on our knees and greet us in the morning (she had never done that).
After doing a bit of research re cat behaviour it appeared that although all the cats were close, they had a pecking order and Amber was at the bottom. She had never been really "allowed by the others" to sit on our knees or on the furniture . They had never fought though, it was just a silent chain of command.
Amber lived another 6 years a very cuddly, contented, comical cat until she died of breast cancer two years ago:(
So you may be surprised at your other cats reaction
All the best though ...I do feel for you
He was such a character - woke me up with a swipe of his paw every morning .. followed me all over the house.He didn't miaow - just a funny little squeaky noise came out of his mouth.
I can't believe that my beautiful little boy is gone.He was only one year old but he was my little man.
I am thinking of you OGB and I hope that you're looking after yourself.God bless. XXX
The Tibs I mentioned above, his real name was Toby too.
Although his life was short, you know that Toby had lots of love and as I said before, that's more than many poor animals can claim.
So very sorry, I can only imagine how you're feeling, I wish I could say something that meant more, but words are never enough, are they?
The thought that he could have done completely slays me.I 've taken a sleeping tablet so hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight.
Thanks again for your kind words.You're very sweet. XX
I'm sure he wouldn't have suffered, it would have been quick. I'm not sure how to say this, but if a cat is just injured, he will do his utmost to get away and hide up. Since Toby was found where he was hit, I should think it was instant, he wouldn't have known a thing.
Please don't keep thinking the worst, it won't help you. Take care xx
My sleeping tablet is kicking in so I'll bid you a fond goodnight and once again my heartfelt thanks for being so kind.God bless you and nighty night. XXX
I hope by the time you read this you'll have managed to get some sleep during the night - you too OGB.
I don't know what it is about cats - they're mostly take and not much give, we never know what's going on in their little heads, but they still manage to capture our hearts and it's so hard to cope when we lose them.
I've been running about all day today after our new 10-week-old kitten and although she's made me laugh loads, I've cursed her under my breath several times too, as she's such a handful and it's very tiring - but after seeing your post I shall count my blessings when she starts all over again tomorrow morning.
lorry x
!
I am so so sorry from the bottom of my heart. I really don't know what else to say other than I'm thinking of you. I hope you get some sleep tonight.
Night
x
x
This is so true.
Hope everyone who's lost pets recently is somehow battling through!.
I had to make the decision to have my gorgeous old girl Bibi pts earlier this year.
She'd been unwell for a few weeks, lost both weight and condition. The vets thought she probably had an adrenal tumour.
I was with her at the end, which I hope was a comfort, and I buried her in a lovely shady spot in the garden.
I miss her so much. She was a funny old thing. It took her years to trust me and even longer for her to seem to like me, but she was beautiful, had the softest sleekest coat, even right to the end, and purred for me even when she must've been so unhappy and uncomfortable.
I have another "not well" cat who's the absolute love of my life. She makes me smile, if not laugh every day and teaches me every day to enjoy each day as it comes.
I reckon pets keep many of us sane.
"Think of me often but not too much" I reckon your puss would be saying, OGB
It's right to mourn him but don't be taken over by your grief.
Life goes on, enjoy your other cat and open you heart to the possibilty of owning another one maybe one day.