Are you living together ? Is there any reason behind it ?
When myself and my mrs were working shifts there were often periods when we would catch it other for 30 minutes or so a day for days at a time and sometimes not at all.
well officially since end of jan. doesnt live far away. i want to bring up the fact that it doesnt feel like we are a proper couple. we havent had sex yet been seeing him for nearly 2 months, its tricky as we both live at home. I like him but i am getting a bit bored now. theres a part of me which feels hes a bit selfish, (hes an actor) he hasnt done anything wrong but its just a feeling i get.
He has an audition in a couple weeks and the plan is for me to go with him and spend the weekend together. Im just thinking what if i could be out there going on dates with guys i feel actually want to see me more often.Im certainly not needy but once a week just doesnt seem right. especially after chatting to my ex who just said he sees his other half every day! not something i desire as i have other things to do.
For some people in early part of relationship, they may only be able to manage once a week if they have other commitments.
How often do you talk / text ?
We text every day, not alot but some. I know hes busy trying to keep his acting career going , hes currently doing a film so has lines to learn and he also works during the day occasionally at his other job. but isnt this week as hes filming.
When i saw him at the weekend he told me he applied to audition for a part in a UK tour. and if he got it means i wouldnt see him much from june till dec. I understand that we have only known each other two months and that he shouldn't hold back on applying for roles. However its not fair on me either because I dont want to waste my time.
i think what baffles me is why after 3 weeks would he ask me to e his boyfriend even before wed slept together yet. I dont get it? Hes not cold towards me or anything when we meet...
Why would he ask you to be his boyfriend? Ownership! He doesn't want you running off with anyone else whilehe's not around, even though he's not exactly giving you all you require. If you were happy to wait then all is good, but if you're not happy then it's not much of a relationship is it.
Why would he ask you to be his boyfriend? Ownership! He doesn't want you running off with anyone else whilehe's not around, even though he's not exactly giving you all you require. If you were happy to wait then all is good, but if you're not happy then it's not much of a relationship is it.
Why should he care about ownership then? Do you think hes playing around. Doesnt seem the type to. Should i address this? We havent had the talk yet about if either of us have stopped/still using the dating apps. Should we?
I think the use of the word 'partner' at the start was misleading as it sounds like you've only known each other a few weeks. IMO that's far too soon to be looking at any sort of commitment from each other unless you're both completely happy with that and the OP clearly isn't happy.
I think you need to have a clear and open talk with him to clarify exactly how you feel and what you want at this very early stage of the relationship. If he can't fit in with that and you're not willing or able to compromise then you need to decide whether you continue some sort of friendship or just say bye bye.
Why should he care about ownership then? Do you think hes playing around. Doesnt seem the type to. Should i address this? We havent had the talk yet about if either of us have stopped/still using the dating apps. Should we?
I think you probably already know the answers to these questions otherwise you wouldn't be here.
BTW how old are you as your profile seems a bit wrong?
Why should he care about ownership then? Do you think hes playing around. Doesnt seem the type to. Should i address this? We havent had the talk yet about if either of us have stopped/still using the dating apps. Should we?
No I don't mean he's playing around. You asked why he wanted to be called your "boyfriend" so soon, so I suggested that it could be because in his mind it makes you more likely to stay faithful to him as he knows he doesn't see much of you. And the old 'exclusive' debate. Well if you're both still dating/using dating apps then you're not really girlfriend and boyfriend are you.
No I don't mean he's playing around. You asked why he wanted to be called your "boyfriend" so soon, so I suggested that it could be because in his mind it makes you more likely to stay faithful to him as he knows he doesn't see much of you. And the old 'exclusive' debate. Well if you're both still dating/using dating apps then you're not really girlfriend and boyfriend are you.
I don't think they'll ever be girlfriend and boyfriend.
No I don't mean he's playing around. You asked why he wanted to be called your "boyfriend" so soon, so I suggested that it could be because in his mind it makes you more likely to stay faithful to him as he knows he doesn't see much of you. And the old 'exclusive' debate. Well if you're both still dating/using dating apps then you're not really girlfriend and boyfriend are you.
well im not using the apps. i dont know if he is as we havent had that chat. Should we? I feel like i want to.
Well you do seem really into him, so I guess you should have the chat. I certainly don't have the answer, but if it's not working out after a month then it doesn't bode well. The first few months are usually sheer bliss... until reality sets in.
Doesn't seem normal to me.
If I was only seeing someone that I was seriously interested in on one occasion in seven days, I'd think that one or both of us wasn't really interested in a proper relationship.
On a side note, I dislike the word partner, it has bad connotations IMO.
Before my younger son married his girlfriend he'd sometimes refer to her as his partner, as they lived together, and had a child.
I said to him, "For Christ's sake call her your girlfriend/innamorata/live in lover, or main squeeze, people probably think that you're in business together, or worse."
i think what baffles me is why after 3 weeks would he ask me to e his boyfriend even before wed slept together yet. I dont get it? Hes not cold towards me or anything when we meet...
If you're only 3 are your Mum and Dad happy for you to let a grown man ask you to be his boyfriend?
Doesn't seem normal to me.
If I was only seeing someone that I was seriously interested in on one occasion in seven days, I'd think that one or both of us wasn't really interested in a proper relationship. On a side note, I dislike the word partner, it has bad connotations IMO.
Before my younger son married his girlfriend he'd sometimes refer to her as his partner, as they lived together, and had a child.
I said to him, "For Christ's sake call her your girlfriend/innamorata/live in lover, or main squeeze, people probably think that you're in business together, or worse."
I don't really like it either but I don't think anybody has come up with anything better for someone you live with, in a romantic way, but aren't married.
But I really don't understand when folks start using the word within a few days of their first date.
Comments
When myself and my mrs were working shifts there were often periods when we would catch it other for 30 minutes or so a day for days at a time and sometimes not at all.
All these matter
He has an audition in a couple weeks and the plan is for me to go with him and spend the weekend together. Im just thinking what if i could be out there going on dates with guys i feel actually want to see me more often.Im certainly not needy but once a week just doesnt seem right. especially after chatting to my ex who just said he sees his other half every day! not something i desire as i have other things to do.
For some people in early part of relationship, they may only be able to manage once a week if they have other commitments.
How often do you talk / text ?
We text every day, not alot but some. I know hes busy trying to keep his acting career going , hes currently doing a film so has lines to learn and he also works during the day occasionally at his other job. but isnt this week as hes filming.
When i saw him at the weekend he told me he applied to audition for a part in a UK tour. and if he got it means i wouldnt see him much from june till dec. I understand that we have only known each other two months and that he shouldn't hold back on applying for roles. However its not fair on me either because I dont want to waste my time.
Sounds like you already are. If you want to see more of your partner and enjoy some sex (who wouldn't!) then maybe he's not the right one for you.
Why should he care about ownership then? Do you think hes playing around. Doesnt seem the type to. Should i address this? We havent had the talk yet about if either of us have stopped/still using the dating apps. Should we?
I think you need to have a clear and open talk with him to clarify exactly how you feel and what you want at this very early stage of the relationship. If he can't fit in with that and you're not willing or able to compromise then you need to decide whether you continue some sort of friendship or just say bye bye.
I think you probably already know the answers to these questions otherwise you wouldn't be here.
BTW how old are you as your profile seems a bit wrong?
No I don't mean he's playing around. You asked why he wanted to be called your "boyfriend" so soon, so I suggested that it could be because in his mind it makes you more likely to stay faithful to him as he knows he doesn't see much of you. And the old 'exclusive' debate. Well if you're both still dating/using dating apps then you're not really girlfriend and boyfriend are you.
I don't think they'll ever be girlfriend and boyfriend.
Unfortunately, this guy is not your partner and not even your boyfriend, he is just someone you know at this stage.
well im not using the apps. i dont know if he is as we havent had that chat. Should we? I feel like i want to.
If I was only seeing someone that I was seriously interested in on one occasion in seven days, I'd think that one or both of us wasn't really interested in a proper relationship.
On a side note, I dislike the word partner, it has bad connotations IMO.
Before my younger son married his girlfriend he'd sometimes refer to her as his partner, as they lived together, and had a child.
I said to him, "For Christ's sake call her your girlfriend/innamorata/live in lover, or main squeeze, people probably think that you're in business together, or worse."
lol yes i like the older gent
What on earth makes you refer to him as "my partner" ?
At most, he is your boyfriend.
As to whether once a week is "weird" - well that depends on circumstances.
I don't really like it either but I don't think anybody has come up with anything better for someone you live with, in a romantic way, but aren't married.
But I really don't understand when folks start using the word within a few days of their first date.