Make an effort with her tomorrow. Before you shout me down hear me out. Your parents will be there, so if she doesn't make an effort she will come across as a moody cow in front of them and you may also find that she will make more of an effort in front of the boyfriends parents anyway. If she does continue to be a moody cow, you will also have more ammo and you can tell you parents 'well, I made an effort, not my fault she can't!'
It sounds like your boyfriend wants to 'integrate' her more into your family life but using a hospital appointment of a relative is a bit odd.
Good plan,I'll give it a go. As my parents seem to think I'm the one with the problem (I even heard my dad saying earlier to my mum after I'd gone upstairs "It's more that she won't talk to the girlfriend than the girlfriend won't talk to her!" ) hopefully they'll see it isn't if she won't respond to me.
Why can't they move out and find their own place? Or go out for the evening?
They can't be bothered. My parents don't charge them rent so they don't need to find somewhere. It's bizarre-if I had a boyfriend I wanted to spend 24/7 with the last place I'd want to live with him would be with his parents or mine.
They don't go out because they're "too hard up". Although they can afford to go shopping...
Good plan,I'll give it a go. As my parents seem to think I'm the one with the problem (I even heard my dad saying earlier to my mum after I'd gone upstairs "It's more that she won't talk to the girlfriend than the girlfriend won't talk to her!" ) hopefully they'll see it isn't if she won't respond to me.
No wonder you're feeling stressed about this! I'd be raging if I heard my parents saying that. Go all out tomorrow with the chit-chat to show it's not you.
Its very odd imo. The OP is clearly making an effort to find common ground and her brothers girlfriend is unresponsive to it. I think the parents should definatly say something to them though as they are being very unfair. Hogging the living room is not on when its the family home. In fact its plain rude.
Why can't they move out and find their own place? Or go out for the evening?
But as the OP is shy, intimidated by her and admittedly struggling to find common ground perhaps the girlfriend can just see that in her and reads it as the OP being false? Perhaps the fact the OP tends to disappear off to her room when she is there has given her the idea that the OP does not like her.
It is also possible that the girlfriend is just not that sociable and or is shy and does not feel comfortable around the OP
so she tries to keep conversations short.
Another possibility is that she likes the brother but feels no need to be best friends with his sister. She is going out with him. Maybe she has not had a relationship before where engaging with the family was an expectation.
It seems that with so little communication going on within the family it is not possible to know what the problem is with the brothers girlfriend.
They can't be bothered. My parents don't charge them rent so they don't need to find somewhere. It's bizarre-if I had a boyfriend I wanted to spend 24/7 with the last place I'd want to live with him would be with his parents or mine.
They don't go out because they're "too hard up". Although they can afford to go shopping...
Christ that's pretty shocking. I have paid housekeeping since I was 18! If he's been independent and lived away from home before surely he should offer to pay it?
Sounds a bit like my son`s fiance, she used to come to our house with my son & they`d go upstairs all the time! If they were downstairs and we had visiters she`d go upstairs.Hardly ever spoke! They moved into a flat in dec and now she`s laid the law down, my daughter has`nt to go to their place , she`s sort of took a dislike to her even though she lives abroad! its not like she can just pop in is it? we could`nt go over xmas.Having said all this we`re still in touch with our son she`s not stopping that, when he comes visiting we just don`t mention the cow!
Sounds a bit like my son`s fiance, she used to come to our house with my son & they`d go upstairs all the time! If they were downstairs and we had visiters she`d go upstairs.Hardly ever spoke! They moved into a flat in dec and now she`s laid the law down, my daughter has`nt to go to their place , she`s sort of took a dislike to her even though she lives abroad! its not like she can just pop in is it? we could`nt go over xmas.Having said all this we`re still in touch with our son she`s not stopping that, when he comes visiting we just don`t mention the cow!
I don't understand why some women feel the need to do this? Cut their parnter off from their friends and family. Its almost like they resent them caring for other people.
Tbh she sounds like she's not very bright & not very socialised. Most girls in the circumstance would make an effort to talk to the bf's sister. The OP has clearly made an effort. I do think it's odd inviting a non-family member along to a hospital appointment I'd sure as hell not invite my brother in law along to mine!
But at the same time I do think that shyness issues the OP has are something she's going to have to get over anyway.
Comments
Good plan,I'll give it a go. As my parents seem to think I'm the one with the problem (I even heard my dad saying earlier to my mum after I'd gone upstairs "It's more that she won't talk to the girlfriend than the girlfriend won't talk to her!" ) hopefully they'll see it isn't if she won't respond to me.
They can't be bothered. My parents don't charge them rent so they don't need to find somewhere. It's bizarre-if I had a boyfriend I wanted to spend 24/7 with the last place I'd want to live with him would be with his parents or mine.
They don't go out because they're "too hard up". Although they can afford to go shopping...
No wonder you're feeling stressed about this! I'd be raging if I heard my parents saying that. Go all out tomorrow with the chit-chat to show it's not you.
But as the OP is shy, intimidated by her and admittedly struggling to find common ground perhaps the girlfriend can just see that in her and reads it as the OP being false? Perhaps the fact the OP tends to disappear off to her room when she is there has given her the idea that the OP does not like her.
It is also possible that the girlfriend is just not that sociable and or is shy and does not feel comfortable around the OP
so she tries to keep conversations short.
Another possibility is that she likes the brother but feels no need to be best friends with his sister. She is going out with him. Maybe she has not had a relationship before where engaging with the family was an expectation.
It seems that with so little communication going on within the family it is not possible to know what the problem is with the brothers girlfriend.
Christ that's pretty shocking. I have paid housekeeping since I was 18! If he's been independent and lived away from home before surely he should offer to pay it?
I don't understand why some women feel the need to do this? Cut their parnter off from their friends and family. Its almost like they resent them caring for other people.
But at the same time I do think that shyness issues the OP has are something she's going to have to get over anyway.
Im wondering what happened? How did the trip go in the end?