And you are very very ignorant. Do you know what gambling can do to someone? No
And do you care what your gambling did to her? To your mother? No. You just care if they are still there to bail you out.
Every lie you told every penny of money you manipulated out of them, you chose to do that. You chose to hurt these people and you should be going out of your way to repay them, but I doubt you will do anything unless you think you will get something out of it.
Whitlock to Win 3-0 @ 8/15 - Should be straight forward.
Over 5.5 180's in the Dudbridge v Roy match - I think this match could go to five sets so the likleyhood of more 180's is possible and Dudbridge is a good 180 hitter.
Hmm. The OP also says, "I also have no access to money, as my pay now goes into my Mums bank." Again, not exactly the whole truth, it seems, since he's still able to find money to bet with.
If your wife has never mentioned the money at all then she has probably written it off herself.
She knows what you make and probably what your current circumstances are financially. She gambled by giving it to you in the hope it would help you.
Now, if I were you, I would want to pay it back, even if it is a small amount over a long time but ultimately that's up to you.
I can't understand why you don't want to give her the divorce though and I really think you should speak to a member of the legal profession regarding that.
Hmm. The OP also says, "I also have no access to money, as my pay now goes into my Mums bank." Again, not exactly the whole truth, it seems, since he's still able to find money to bet with.
I have a feeling the OP moving his money into mum's bank has way more to do with keeping his assets low rather than keeping him on the straight and narrow.
His posts read like a person still thouroughly in the middle of his addiction and nothing like someone in recovery.
My wife hasnt been an angel after all this. Yes I will say again I messed up. Im not trying to defend my actions.
But dont you think she would be a little concerced about my welfare? I know she loved me alot.
Anyway nevermind about me, shouldnt she have at least contacted my mum? My Mum treated like her own daughter for over a year, cooked for her evey single day and even done her washing! and put her uder her roof.
My Mum hasnt done anything wrong. Shouldnt my Wife at least contacted my Mum to see how she is?
My wife hasnt been an angel after all this. Yes I will say again I messed up. Im not trying to defend my actions.
But dont you think she would be a little concerced about my welfare? I know she loved me alot.
Anyway nevermind about me, shouldnt she have at least contacted my mum? My Mum treated like her own daughter for over a year, cooked for her evey single day and even done her washing! and put her uder her roof.
My Mum hasnt done anything wrong. Shouldnt my Wife at least contacted my Mum to see how she is?
And where's your concern for your wife's welfare? She wants a divorce, but you don't seem willing to give it to her, she's financially lost out big time because of you, but your overriding concern is whether you'd 'have' to pay her back, rather than expressing a wish to actually pay her back. And has it occured to you that she may want to contact your Mum, but sees it as a possible route via which you could try contacting her again, and feels unable to do so?
My wife hasnt been an angel after all this. Yes I will say again I messed up. Im not trying to defend my actions.
But dont you think she would be a little concerced about my welfare? I know she loved me alot.
Anyway nevermind about me, shouldnt she have at least contacted my mum? My Mum treated like her own daughter for over a year, cooked for her evey single day and even done her washing! and put her uder her roof.
My Mum hasnt done anything wrong. Shouldnt my Wife at least contacted my Mum to see how she is?
Your actions mean that for her own mental wellbeing she has to stay away from you and by extention your family. She is trying to break away and move on. If you had a shred of decency you would let her go and try and pay back what you can, but instead you want us to agree that your lying to her repeatedly to manipulate her life savings from her...(and I doubt your version of how the money was given to you is the whole story. )then using emotional blackmail and threatening suicide to force her to communicate with you is not what matters because she opted not to send your mum a christmas card.
I thought she would have to pay for her own legal costs regardless of how many letters she sends out
Why? Your inaction is creating additional work that would not be required if you replied. That work can be ordered by the court to be paid for by you because it is you that has caused the work to be done.
You've got to get your head out of the sand and live your life, and not expect her to be part of it.
I have a feeling the OP moving his money into mum's bank has way more to do with keeping his assets low rather than keeping him on the straight and narrow.
His posts read like a person still thouroughly in the middle of his addiction and nothing like someone in recovery.
I get this feeling too. The OP sounds a thoroughly unpleasant person, a person in recovery would surely have some redeeming traits.
It's a shame if his wife isn't able to claim something back from him after all that he's put her through and all the money of hers that he's thrown away.
Sign the divorce petition - this woman owes you and your mother absolutely nothing after the way you've behaved.
You on the other hand owe her £30k and should immediately set up a regular payment to pay it back to her.
Let the woman move on. Rubbishing her character isn't going to win you any friends here - it just makes you look even more immature and vindictive. The right thing to do is to accept 100% responsibility for your actions, expect nothing from her and ensure she isn't left out of pocket long term as a result of your compulsive behaviour. Do you have the moral strength to do this?
I do take responsibility. I know I have messed up. All I wanted was a chance to explain that in person to her. I even told her if she gave me another chance she can take control of my finances to help build up the trust.
When I was sending her the nast texts, my mind wasnt right. Gambling does alot of mental damage to you and you dis-regard other people and you frankly dont give a shit about anyone.
OP, I hope this isn't too harsh but you come across as highly manipulative. But dont you think she would be a little concerced about my welfare? I know she loved me alot.
Anyway nevermind about me, shouldnt she have at least contacted my mum? My Mum treated like her own daughter for over a year, cooked for her evey single day and even done her washing! and put her uder her roof.
My Mum hasnt done anything wrong. Shouldnt my Wife at least contacted my Mum to see how she is?
What's all this about? Your anger at being dumped is peceptible - oh, that peevish demand for her love is SO grating. Why should your welfare concern your ex? You didn't care for hers, did you? And bringing MUm into it - the fact is she cannot contact your Mum without being in contact wth you - as you must know very well. So if your Mum is feeling hard done by, that's your fault as well.
The fact is, you have treated your wife like dirt - you did lie and deceive, you did ill treat her, you did behave unreasonably and you'd have gone on doing so if you could.
You have no right to be gutted that she has no feelings for you now - she'd be insane if she had.
I notice you dodge round the idea of repaying her the money. From what you say, the divorce papers don't mention repayment so you can stop fretting (although your conscience shouldn't).
Your other concern is getting her back. Is that in her best interests? I don;t think so. She knows you now and she knows what the future with you would be. Sign the papers and let her go - she;s not going to be your financial security or your emotional rock any more. Get used to it.
As for yourself, I;m glad you're attending GA and hope you will continue to do so. This is your chance to break the habit and stand on your own two feet. . Then and only then will you be a fit partner for someone. Learn to stop feeling sorry for yourself and accept the blame for what has happened. Then you can move on.
Comments
And you are very very ignorant. Do you know what gambling can do to someone? No
Yes. I've seen it destroy people...and their families.
But it's not an excuse. Take responsibility.
And do you care what your gambling did to her? To your mother? No. You just care if they are still there to bail you out.
Every lie you told every penny of money you manipulated out of them, you chose to do that. You chose to hurt these people and you should be going out of your way to repay them, but I doubt you will do anything unless you think you will get something out of it.
Hmm. The OP also says, "I also have no access to money, as my pay now goes into my Mums bank." Again, not exactly the whole truth, it seems, since he's still able to find money to bet with.
If your wife has never mentioned the money at all then she has probably written it off herself.
She knows what you make and probably what your current circumstances are financially. She gambled by giving it to you in the hope it would help you.
Now, if I were you, I would want to pay it back, even if it is a small amount over a long time but ultimately that's up to you.
I can't understand why you don't want to give her the divorce though and I really think you should speak to a member of the legal profession regarding that.
I have a feeling the OP moving his money into mum's bank has way more to do with keeping his assets low rather than keeping him on the straight and narrow.
His posts read like a person still thouroughly in the middle of his addiction and nothing like someone in recovery.
My wife hasnt been an angel after all this. Yes I will say again I messed up. Im not trying to defend my actions.
But dont you think she would be a little concerced about my welfare? I know she loved me alot.
Anyway nevermind about me, shouldnt she have at least contacted my mum? My Mum treated like her own daughter for over a year, cooked for her evey single day and even done her washing! and put her uder her roof.
My Mum hasnt done anything wrong. Shouldnt my Wife at least contacted my Mum to see how she is?
shes making a clean break..maybe when this all settles down she will
You don't know what is going through your wife's head and you can't control it.
Sign the divorce, let her go and move on and make the best of your life.
And where's your concern for your wife's welfare? She wants a divorce, but you don't seem willing to give it to her, she's financially lost out big time because of you, but your overriding concern is whether you'd 'have' to pay her back, rather than expressing a wish to actually pay her back. And has it occured to you that she may want to contact your Mum, but sees it as a possible route via which you could try contacting her again, and feels unable to do so?
Your actions mean that for her own mental wellbeing she has to stay away from you and by extention your family. She is trying to break away and move on. If you had a shred of decency you would let her go and try and pay back what you can, but instead you want us to agree that your lying to her repeatedly to manipulate her life savings from her...(and I doubt your version of how the money was given to you is the whole story. )then using emotional blackmail and threatening suicide to force her to communicate with you is not what matters because she opted not to send your mum a christmas card.
Poor hard done by you...
No. I think she's finally realised that she needs to be concerned about her own welfare and that's why she wants to divorce you.
You've got to get your head out of the sand and live your life, and not expect her to be part of it.
I get this feeling too. The OP sounds a thoroughly unpleasant person, a person in recovery would surely have some redeeming traits.
It's a shame if his wife isn't able to claim something back from him after all that he's put her through and all the money of hers that he's thrown away.
Bwahaha
Sign the divorce petition - this woman owes you and your mother absolutely nothing after the way you've behaved.
You on the other hand owe her £30k and should immediately set up a regular payment to pay it back to her.
Let the woman move on. Rubbishing her character isn't going to win you any friends here - it just makes you look even more immature and vindictive. The right thing to do is to accept 100% responsibility for your actions, expect nothing from her and ensure she isn't left out of pocket long term as a result of your compulsive behaviour. Do you have the moral strength to do this?
OP, I hope this isn't too harsh but you come across as highly manipulative.
But dont you think she would be a little concerced about my welfare? I know she loved me alot.
Anyway nevermind about me, shouldnt she have at least contacted my mum? My Mum treated like her own daughter for over a year, cooked for her evey single day and even done her washing! and put her uder her roof.
My Mum hasnt done anything wrong. Shouldnt my Wife at least contacted my Mum to see how she is?
What's all this about? Your anger at being dumped is peceptible - oh, that peevish demand for her love is SO grating. Why should your welfare concern your ex? You didn't care for hers, did you? And bringing MUm into it - the fact is she cannot contact your Mum without being in contact wth you - as you must know very well. So if your Mum is feeling hard done by, that's your fault as well.
The fact is, you have treated your wife like dirt - you did lie and deceive, you did ill treat her, you did behave unreasonably and you'd have gone on doing so if you could.
You have no right to be gutted that she has no feelings for you now - she'd be insane if she had.
I notice you dodge round the idea of repaying her the money. From what you say, the divorce papers don't mention repayment so you can stop fretting (although your conscience shouldn't).
Your other concern is getting her back. Is that in her best interests? I don;t think so. She knows you now and she knows what the future with you would be. Sign the papers and let her go - she;s not going to be your financial security or your emotional rock any more. Get used to it.
As for yourself, I;m glad you're attending GA and hope you will continue to do so. This is your chance to break the habit and stand on your own two feet. . Then and only then will you be a fit partner for someone. Learn to stop feeling sorry for yourself and accept the blame for what has happened. Then you can move on.
Oh do go away you silly little troll
Well it shines better than yours and that says something really...
Maybe that's just my perception though