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Sexuality confusion
I don't really know what i'm asking here or needing but I didn't know where else to go to other than the forum I feel so comfortable in. I've just started university, I'm 18 and i'm very confused.
There's a guy on my course who iv'e been speaking to and he's been not pushy but keeps asking me to go out with him and see him each night. To be honest i'm scared of what an adult relationship would mean, I don't even know if i'd want one with a guy.
I'm a very shy person you could say I suffer with social anxiety, although I have great friends and family who i'm very close to. But since starting uni I feel completely lost about my sexuality. My flatmates (all girls) are straight and very comfortable with talking about these things as well as doing them! But for me it's completely foreign, i've never been intimate with a guy and i've never really wanted to. I have never felt comfortable with guys since hitting my teenage years I always feel insecure and as if they expect something of me and I don't know how to deal with that. I'm comfortable with girls, I get on with girls well and find them attractive but the idea of being intimate with them is uncomfortable and odd for me.
I always said i'll find my way, it's growing up like everyone says but at my age now and being at uni I don't feel any clearer. I've had no experiences to judge anything on and i'm to scared and shy to experiment if you and don't feel like I can be open with people as I don't know myself.
It's turned more into typing out how I feel rather than asking for advice but I just wanted anyones take on it if you like, anyone who has felt the same way.
There's a guy on my course who iv'e been speaking to and he's been not pushy but keeps asking me to go out with him and see him each night. To be honest i'm scared of what an adult relationship would mean, I don't even know if i'd want one with a guy.
I'm a very shy person you could say I suffer with social anxiety, although I have great friends and family who i'm very close to. But since starting uni I feel completely lost about my sexuality. My flatmates (all girls) are straight and very comfortable with talking about these things as well as doing them! But for me it's completely foreign, i've never been intimate with a guy and i've never really wanted to. I have never felt comfortable with guys since hitting my teenage years I always feel insecure and as if they expect something of me and I don't know how to deal with that. I'm comfortable with girls, I get on with girls well and find them attractive but the idea of being intimate with them is uncomfortable and odd for me.
I always said i'll find my way, it's growing up like everyone says but at my age now and being at uni I don't feel any clearer. I've had no experiences to judge anything on and i'm to scared and shy to experiment if you and don't feel like I can be open with people as I don't know myself.
It's turned more into typing out how I feel rather than asking for advice but I just wanted anyones take on it if you like, anyone who has felt the same way.
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I haven't got a clue.
I don't think that's relevant to be honest. Dreamer has expressed a lack of desire to have sex with either gender and this is what she (?) is finding confusing.
Dreamer, our sexual desires develop at different ages, there is no set time. Your lack of desire could be due to a need to remain invulnerable emotionally - your life has undergone radical changes, youve presumably just found independence and a relationship could take some of that independence away by it's very nature.
For what it's worth, most teens get to an age where they distance themselves from the opposite sex. What once used to be easy friendships become fraught with underlying sexual tensions as we develop into adults. The phenomenom of playground groups going from mixed to seperate gender sometime in our teens is well documented.
You're only 18, you have a lifetime ahead to meet someone you care enough about to have a sexual relationship with. For now, just relax, enjoy Uni life and make your degree your goal.
Do you fancy this lad?
What is stopping you?
Don't go out with this guy if he makes you uncomfortable, and don't try to fit yourself into any category sexually just now.
Relax, enjoy uni with your friends, and wait for things to become clearer as you grow older and gain more life experience.:)
Of course not, but recently I was made to feel completely different and uncomfortable by a mate and two of her mates who were basically saying the opposite.
I suppose some people are like that.
I wish i hadnt, because i upset a lot of people. Its just, although i didnt fancy girls and knew i liked guys, it terrified me that coming out would mean not getting married and being a dad.
Eventually i was honest with myself, and im so glad of this. To the OP, sexuality is a confusing thing for some people, try not to let it be the be all and end all of your life. Focus on doing things at uni that you enjoy, make good friends. You will develop more confidence, and with that, you will begin to know yourself that bit better.
Theres no rush, it will happen, whatever you are. Good luck x