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Steven's contributions to the house

loddellboshloddellbosh Posts: 5,315
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in Big Brother #1
We all know that Steven has made massive contributions to the house and, more importantly, he knows it himself:
A decision's been made, it's the wrong decision.
...
I think they've made a massively huge mistake, and as a result I'm probably the one who's gonna go from it when it could of [sic] been someone else, more insignificant, who will not make the same contribution to the house, and that is it! You'll all see it.

So let's list his contributions.

1. A sizzling romance with the charismatic Kimberly. I can feel the chemistry from hundreds of miles away. Electrifying.
2. Raising the housemates' collective IQ by several points. Never have we seen such an intelligent housemate, one who can connect with another housemate emotionally, physically and mentally.
3. His mere presence inside the house makes the other housemates more likeable than they would have been if he weren't there. So significant.
4. Not actually a house contribution, but he has sparked many a discussion on here about how his name is spelt. Is it StePHen? Is it SteVen? Such is the power of our Steven. What a legend.

Any more?

Comments

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    PootmatootPootmatoot Posts: 15,640
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    #2
    I quite like the fact he wears a white M&S Y-fronts and vest combination, clearly bought for him by his mum.
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    FingersAndToesFingersAndToes Posts: 9,956
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    #3
    He is there to serve and obey Kimbot. There is no other bigger need or purpose for him, and so far he has done his job properly.
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    DangermooseDangermoose Posts: 67,997
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    #4
    Errrr ..... *Scratches head*
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    andrewrandrewr Posts: 195
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    #5
    You are joking, right?

    He is a waste of space. Don't like him, if it wasn't for the fact that I want Toya out, I would hope he goes this week.
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    An ThropologistAn Thropologist Posts: 39,854
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    #6
    Aren't you forgetting his role as communications officer? Especially in the early days he could be seen acting as a news herald letting those outside know what those inside were saying about them and vice versa. :(
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    PitmanPitman Posts: 28,495
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    #7
    he has re-defined the word 'contentious' and made it into a rather sweet compliment you'd pay to controlling tyrants :cool:
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 727
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    #8
    Don't forget his incredible abilty to get his own mother to label him as "a bit cringy" when appearing on the live show. Now, that's a skill.
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    Radical JoeRadical Joe Posts: 15,743
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    #9
    andrewr wrote: »
    You are joking, right?

    He is a waste of space. Don't like him, if it wasn't for the fact that I want Toya out, I would hope he goes this week.

    You reckon?
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    planetmattplanetmatt Posts: 525
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    #10
    He keeps the pool topped up with his bitch tears.

    The man is like the product of a 3 way between Richard Madely, Alan Partridge, and Ian Lee.
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    B L ZeebubB L Zeebub Posts: 9,134
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    #11
    planetmatt wrote: »

    The man is like the product of a 3 way between Richard Madely, Alan Partridge, and Ian Lee.

    :D:D Perfect!
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    white tigresswhite tigress Posts: 3,591
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    #12
    :D:D:D Love love LOVE this thread!! the 'M&S Combo White pants & Vest chosen by Mum', his obedience to KimBot 5000, and all aforementioned Delusional Arrogance pointed out by OPs here are total BLISS. If I were Kimberley reading this I'd be bursting with...no visible emotion right now. Brilliant stuff, guys!! xxx
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    lulu glulu g Posts: 52,649
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    #13
    He likes to give the little woman in his life a chance to shine by pretending not to know the meaning of the big words she tries to use - bless! - like 'verbose'.
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    PootmatootPootmatoot Posts: 15,640
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    #14
    That he never takes off his T-shirt, presumably because he has liposuction scars.
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    lulu glulu g Posts: 52,649
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    #15
    Pootmatoot wrote: »
    That he never takes off his T-shirt, presumably because he has liposuction scars.
    No, no, he just doesn't want to show up the bodies of the more insignificant housemates.
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    PootmatootPootmatoot Posts: 15,640
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    #16
    lulu g wrote: »
    No, no, he just doesn't want to show up the bodies of the more insignificant housemates.


    I imagine he's like a 50 pound bag of old foreskins under that shirt.

    A lapband by 23? Don't you need a 40+ BMI? And be over 18? He most have dropped the weight very quickly, and I'm sure it's left an absolute carcrash of skin in its wake.
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    yogacatsyogacats Posts: 6,954
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    #17
    planetmatt wrote: »
    He keeps the pool topped up with his bitch tears.

    The man is like the product of a 3 way between Richard Madely, Alan Partridge, and Ian Lee.

    Classic! :D
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    loddellboshloddellbosh Posts: 5,315
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    #18
    I can't believe I forgot how he sacrificed himself so his beloved Pauline would not be the only one booed on eviction night. She touched his heart. :cry:
    planetmatt wrote: »
    He keeps the pool topped up with his bitch tears.

    The man is like the product of a 3 way between Richard Madely, Alan Partridge, and Ian Lee.

    With a dash of David Brent for good measure.
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    planetmattplanetmatt Posts: 525
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    #19
    loddellbosh wrote: »
    I can't believe I forgot how he sacrificed himself so his beloved Pauline would not be the only one booed on eviction night. She touched his heart. :cry:



    With a dash of David Brent for good measure.

    Nah, Brenty strives to be an entertainer first, friend second, and boss third where as Steve just aspires to be a totally self unaware egotistical tool first, second, and third.
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    MsBehaviourMsBehaviour Posts: 5,532
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    #20
    Steven's contribution to the house?

    HIMSELF of course. What other HM could give us so much unintentional comedy? :D
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