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Questioning my current friendships.
RonSwanson92
Posts: 768
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I have been close friends with Adam for six years, we were at school together and hung around in the same group for a couple of years but only in our last year did we become close friends. I see him almost every weekend (the only time we are not working) and would keep in contact with him throughout the week like you do with close mates, however since I left college last May/June, I found myself having a hard time talking about anything meaningful and found my self distant in his company, we mainly talk about video games, movies and maybe about our old school days now.
Last weekend, we had a house party at one of our friends. Adam's girlfriend (I'll call her Eve) Eve was there, she was getting drunk and having a laugh, however Adam was making faces and small comments that would go unnoticed to most but both Eve and I know that these are bad signs and end in tears, and sure enough just as I was sneaking out to go home I found Eve crying alone on the staircase, I tried to comfort her but it's difficult when you both know why that person is upset but neither of you can say. Adam is constantly down on her, she applied for college in secret because she knew Adam wouldn't be happy and waited to tell him so he couldn't talk her out of it. He puts down her family constantly as well.
He just seems like a constantly negative person now and doesn't realise he has a great girlfriend, great friends and a great job. I don't know what do about our friendship.
Last weekend, we had a house party at one of our friends. Adam's girlfriend (I'll call her Eve) Eve was there, she was getting drunk and having a laugh, however Adam was making faces and small comments that would go unnoticed to most but both Eve and I know that these are bad signs and end in tears, and sure enough just as I was sneaking out to go home I found Eve crying alone on the staircase, I tried to comfort her but it's difficult when you both know why that person is upset but neither of you can say. Adam is constantly down on her, she applied for college in secret because she knew Adam wouldn't be happy and waited to tell him so he couldn't talk her out of it. He puts down her family constantly as well.
He just seems like a constantly negative person now and doesn't realise he has a great girlfriend, great friends and a great job. I don't know what do about our friendship.
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Comments
Indeed. You are very young and people do change. Friendships can be more transient at a younger age. Some people do of course find it easy to "get rid" of friends, as if they were putting out some rubbish bags, but hopefully you aren't one of them. I think the poster's advice is good
I may be completely wrong, but it sounds like maybe you are interested in Eve??
But yes sometimes friendships run their course, and if it's just a case of you or him having outgrown the friendship or having changed, then it may be that you don't regain the closeness you once had. That is sad but inevitable for some friendships in life. Perhaps you no longer have much in common (whereas you once did with school) and have moved on to another stage in life where that commonality is no more.
Do you enjoy being in his company? Does any of the time you have with Adam outweigh the times he is negative/dislikeable? I suppose that's a question you can ask yourself to establish whether you feel the friendship is valuable.
He sounds like a bit of an ar$e who might actually benefit from someone close to him who he might just respect a bit putting him straight.
As for her I would tell her to run run run!:D