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13 year old niece suddenly barely talks to me
So yeah, figured I'd put this one out there to get some views.
I have a niece who lives the other end of the country so I only see her every few months, generally at family occasions so never just the 2 of us. But ever since she's been small we've been really close, she would always want to spend time with me whenever we saw each other and lots of other people would always comment on how I was her favourite uncle. And I felt the same, I love her loads.
But this all changed almost overnight when she hit 13, about 9 months ago. Now whenever I see her she barely even acknowledges me, rarely speaks to me. I try to make an effort to talk to her but it's incredibly hard work and I never seem to be able to manage to get more than a few words out of her.
Now I know this is largely down to the changes she's going through in the last year or so and she's changed with everyone, not just me - I've talked to her mum about it and it seems she's moody and often rude with everyone since becoming a teenager. Others have said that she will come back around given time. But I feel as I want to try to support her and let her know I'm there for her still, that I'll always be on her side but she just won't let me in at all!
I do keep I'm touch with her between visits via texts and the occasional postcard/card etc but whereas previously she would always reply to texts and seemed excited to get stuff, now if she replies at all it will be a one word response.
So It's difficult to do much more when I only see her every few months and then it's generally just for a weekend with lots of other family around but any suggestions from others who might have experienced similar situations would be welcomed.
Or maybe I just need to wait this one out as she probably will come around in time?
I have a niece who lives the other end of the country so I only see her every few months, generally at family occasions so never just the 2 of us. But ever since she's been small we've been really close, she would always want to spend time with me whenever we saw each other and lots of other people would always comment on how I was her favourite uncle. And I felt the same, I love her loads.
But this all changed almost overnight when she hit 13, about 9 months ago. Now whenever I see her she barely even acknowledges me, rarely speaks to me. I try to make an effort to talk to her but it's incredibly hard work and I never seem to be able to manage to get more than a few words out of her.
Now I know this is largely down to the changes she's going through in the last year or so and she's changed with everyone, not just me - I've talked to her mum about it and it seems she's moody and often rude with everyone since becoming a teenager. Others have said that she will come back around given time. But I feel as I want to try to support her and let her know I'm there for her still, that I'll always be on her side but she just won't let me in at all!
I do keep I'm touch with her between visits via texts and the occasional postcard/card etc but whereas previously she would always reply to texts and seemed excited to get stuff, now if she replies at all it will be a one word response.
So It's difficult to do much more when I only see her every few months and then it's generally just for a weekend with lots of other family around but any suggestions from others who might have experienced similar situations would be welcomed.
Or maybe I just need to wait this one out as she probably will come around in time?
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"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."
So just hang on in there!
That's what teenagers do, don't be too upset, it will improve in time.
Aye cheers, definitely not taking it personally (any more) but I guess all I can do is continue to remind her I'm around (without overdoing it or being pushy)
Thanks to others for the responses as well
Give her the space she wants and she will come back when she´s ready. xx
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLuEY6jN6gY
She'll get through it OP and she'll appreciate your efforts. I have daughter of a similar age and her moods change in an instant, trick is not to take it personally, not easy.
I've sat with one of mine till 4 in the morning talking over stuff she cant talk to parents about.
They know you care, they just don't voice it
That's the exact sketch that came into my head when I read the OP!
I think, at times, the "being a teenager" thing is used a bit too much as a catch-all excuse. I've seen too many cases of polite, nice teens for them all to be lumped in together like that.
I wouldn't go as far as saying it's the parents who should do more to get them into shape - since some teens have a particular mix of personality traits that make it hugely difficult compared to other teens - but there's always room for improvement, especially with a stroppy 13/14 year old. ;-)
So true.
This is something that's occurred to me so it's good to hear in a way - I've wondered whether because we has such a close relationship previously that she's maybe finding it particularly hard to deal with the relationship with me since the hormones hit.
But for now I will just wait it out!