What I find interesting is how bullying victims actually KNOW what became of their tormentors. I mean, did you add them on Facebook, or was it sheer coincidence that you read about them / heard about them from word-of-mouth?
Well quite.
I'm in touch with no-one I was at school with. Why on Earth would anyone deliberately stay in touch with these alleged bullies? An awful lot of these fearsome individuals seem to have become crippled / died young / become single mothers / got fat / become drug addicts / gone to prison* etc.
Hence my comment about the creative wish fulfilment element of some of these stories.
You never felt any empathy for her?, tried to imagine how she might of felt?, tried to imagine that she might of envied you and your lovely 'niceness'?
I expect/hope somebody mourned her.
Nope, not really. I don't know if you're being patronising or not.
I was never bullied as such as I on day one identified who to keep well away from, so I avoided them and their little gangs like the plague over the three years I was there. Two boys I recall were Wayne Duforce and Kevin Frome who he who used to knock around with.
I would have to ask why you have chosen to name people who are not here to defend themselves and are never likely to be?
Given you aren't posting under your real name I think it's a bit off TBH.
One of them has got married, got a good job and has a very nice life as far as I'm aware.
The other one also has a good job in London and probably gets paid buckets, has a nice steady girlfriend and has done charitable works in Africa such as building a school. He has a photo of his arms around smiling African orphans as the cover photo on his facebook page that nearly made me vomit and was clearly put on there to show the world what a caring hero he is (or maybe that's just my cynical interpretation of it ). Apparently, he's now moving to Australia. I was always scared of bumping into him so that's something I don't have to worry about any more.
Both of these people bullied me verbally and emotionally rather than physically and they were in the top sets at school so I wasn't expecting them to have turned into thugs who are in prison.
This is the most sickening kind of bully, We recently had an incident with my son getting bullied by the schools star pupil, straight A student, star pupil or not I went to the little shits door and made my feelings known.
My bullies on the other hand were trouble makers but they were smart, they just had more interest in messing and starting fights than doing any work. Probably whey they have gone onto have good jobs now.
And as for the person who asks why are we friends with these people on Facebook, I'm not but these guys leave their profile public so you can see they are living the dream.
See I totally disagree, that's the best kind of bully. That chap sounds like someone who has grown out of being a bully and grown into someone who tries to make a positive contribution. He's an ex bully, that's a good thing. The worst kinds of bully are the ones that continue their bullying behaviour into adulthood and become abusive spouses or violent criminals.
Funny enough one of them has just put a pic up of themselves and they now look like Mr Blobby's fatter brother.
I don't care about looks myself but this guy used to ridicule others who were overweight not just students but teachers to and now he looks even bigger than the people he used to mock.
I never got that from him as I was underweight so I got the ridiculed for the opposite reasons.
What I find interesting is how bullying victims actually KNOW what became of their tormentors. I mean, did you add them on Facebook, or was it sheer coincidence that you read about them / heard about them from word-of-mouth?
I stay in touch with plenty of people from school, many of whom are still in the town where I live, with their families. (I'm nearly 24, I was at school until 06, then many of my former classmates went to the same college as me, and some even applied to the same uni later). Up until a couple of years ago I'd see two of these former bullies around and we'd just make casual conversation before departing slightly. That's how I know what's going on with them, and many others too. And yes the grapevine (i.e. Facebook) helps too.
What I find interesting is how bullying victims actually KNOW what became of their tormentors.
In my case it was a huge coincidence as we both ended up living in the same small city, within a couple of miles of one another, 3000 miles away from the small town where we grew up. Just walking along the main street downtown, he came up to me and said hey aren't you so and so, we went to school together, etc. I should add that he wasn't specifically MY bully, just the closest thing we had to A bully in our class, and I didn't get along with him.
Compounding the coincidence, I later bumped into another guy while downtown from our same small high school class who now also lives in this same small town on the other side of the country. Fortunately, he is someone that I actually got along with and still do. I think the two towns are rather diametric opposites, so perhaps people who grew up disliking it and sought a change ended up arriving at the same opposite.
It's a small world. Especially for people who stay put in the area where they grew up. In that case they're bound to run into people they once knew all the time.
What I find interesting is how bullying victims actually KNOW what became of their tormentors. I mean, did you add them on Facebook, or was it sheer coincidence that you read about them / heard about them from word-of-mouth?
Seeing as the people that I got bullied by were all in my year group and I still see a lot of people from our year around town and in the pubs then you get to find out what other people are up to through word of mouth. We live in a very small gossipy town which locals still call a village and many of the people who grew up here still live here. Those that moved away have friends or family that still live here so you get to find out what these people are up to through friends of friends etc.
On the flipside I grew up and suddenly felt awful about how I had treated a girl at school. I wrote her a letter to apologise and then saw her a couple of years later. First thing she said was, "Thanks for your letter. Not really sure why you wrote it though because I was such a clingon at school and now see I must have really irritated you because I wouldn't leave you guys alone. I took it that you were being cruel to be kind so don't feel guilty and I am a much better person for the things you said"
I still don't feel any better for her saying that though because she needed a friend and I wasn't there.
I never really got bullied on a large scale, I did get outed at school by someone I thought was a friend, and there was some awkwardness over my sexuality, but I'm at a point where I couldn't give a **** what any of them think about it, and I don't really pay attention to what any of them are up to.
I only really speak to about 5 people I went to school with, and only actually see three of them in person.
Just following on from the thread about bullying at school, there were some awful stories on there and I found myself wondering what had happened to some of those nasty or sadistic pupils. So I'm just asking if anyone who was bullied knows what became of the person who made their life a misery and is now an adult somewhere?
He has recently spent time in the clink, after being convicted for money laundering and drug dealing offences. There is karma after all. He's had previous after glassing someone in a pub. A really nice, salt of the earth type of guy.
Strangely enough he didn't bully me, but quite a few other people he did. Thankfully at the time bullying wasn't very prevalent at my school.
You never felt any empathy for her?, tried to imagine how she might of felt?, tried to imagine that she might of envied you and your lovely 'niceness'?
For someone that has expressed confusion and disgust at this thread you seem to be the most active in it. Were you a bully at school? Is that why you're taking all these posts so personally?
What I find interesting is how bullying victims actually KNOW what became of their tormentors. I mean, did you add them on Facebook, or was it sheer coincidence that you read about them / heard about them from word-of-mouth?
In my case, dad told me. I wouldn't have known about it otherwise. As far I'm concerned, he as a person, was long forgotten about.
So no idea. Not especially interested either, as I was never bothered by bullies. I had a "reputation" for being a bit psycho (no idea why tbh) and I think for that reason, I was always left alone.
My dad was a teacher at my school for part of the time I was there, so if the other teachers had found out one of their colleagues sons were being bullied, he (the bully) would have been put in detention or even expelled, quicker than you could say hello. So, even this guy (mentioned above), who wasn't particularly bright, had more sense than to pick on me.
:-)
My dad didn't teach me much at school, as I was in different classes, but he made it clear to me at home from the onset I'd be treated just like all the other children in any classes that he took that I was in. No special treatment. I'm quite glad really I wasn't in many of his classes, as having your own dad as a teacher at school is a bit disconcerting for both parties.
Bullying at my final school was never a problem. One of the 4th year lads, Jimmy Bishop, used to sort 'em out! Self appointed vigilante with his heart in the right place. Great big youth best described as a boy with the body of a man. At break times he'd strut up and down the grounds looking for potential bullying, wade in, give them a sharp whack and they never came back for more.
All the teachers turned a blind eye as they knew Jimmy was 'a good 'un'.
Comments
Well quite.
I'm in touch with no-one I was at school with. Why on Earth would anyone deliberately stay in touch with these alleged bullies? An awful lot of these fearsome individuals seem to have become crippled / died young / become single mothers / got fat / become drug addicts / gone to prison* etc.
Hence my comment about the creative wish fulfilment element of some of these stories.
*Delete as applicable, depending on fantasy.;-)
Nope, not really. I don't know if you're being patronising or not.
Given you aren't posting under your real name I think it's a bit off TBH.
Some names I remember. Gneiss is you real name?
This is the most sickening kind of bully, We recently had an incident with my son getting bullied by the schools star pupil, straight A student, star pupil or not I went to the little shits door and made my feelings known.
My bullies on the other hand were trouble makers but they were smart, they just had more interest in messing and starting fights than doing any work. Probably whey they have gone onto have good jobs now.
And as for the person who asks why are we friends with these people on Facebook, I'm not but these guys leave their profile public so you can see they are living the dream.
See I totally disagree, that's the best kind of bully. That chap sounds like someone who has grown out of being a bully and grown into someone who tries to make a positive contribution. He's an ex bully, that's a good thing. The worst kinds of bully are the ones that continue their bullying behaviour into adulthood and become abusive spouses or violent criminals.
I HAVE AKIRA!!!
I don't care about looks myself but this guy used to ridicule others who were overweight not just students but teachers to and now he looks even bigger than the people he used to mock.
I never got that from him as I was underweight so I got the ridiculed for the opposite reasons.
So chatting to an old school friend about 8 years ago on msn his name pops up, turns out he died in a car crash at 17ish.
I actually felt kinda bad, I'd held onto all that hate for so long. Kinda puts things into perspective.
Thinking back he was an "army brat" too with a not so loving Dad/family so being older and wiser now I guess it makes sense why he was how he was.
I stay in touch with plenty of people from school, many of whom are still in the town where I live, with their families. (I'm nearly 24, I was at school until 06, then many of my former classmates went to the same college as me, and some even applied to the same uni later). Up until a couple of years ago I'd see two of these former bullies around and we'd just make casual conversation before departing slightly. That's how I know what's going on with them, and many others too. And yes the grapevine (i.e. Facebook) helps too.
In my case it was a huge coincidence as we both ended up living in the same small city, within a couple of miles of one another, 3000 miles away from the small town where we grew up. Just walking along the main street downtown, he came up to me and said hey aren't you so and so, we went to school together, etc. I should add that he wasn't specifically MY bully, just the closest thing we had to A bully in our class, and I didn't get along with him.
Compounding the coincidence, I later bumped into another guy while downtown from our same small high school class who now also lives in this same small town on the other side of the country. Fortunately, he is someone that I actually got along with and still do. I think the two towns are rather diametric opposites, so perhaps people who grew up disliking it and sought a change ended up arriving at the same opposite.
It's a small world. Especially for people who stay put in the area where they grew up. In that case they're bound to run into people they once knew all the time.
Seeing as the people that I got bullied by were all in my year group and I still see a lot of people from our year around town and in the pubs then you get to find out what other people are up to through word of mouth. We live in a very small gossipy town which locals still call a village and many of the people who grew up here still live here. Those that moved away have friends or family that still live here so you get to find out what these people are up to through friends of friends etc.
Don't know where the other one is. He is probably a successful doctor somewhere.
I still don't feel any better for her saying that though because she needed a friend and I wasn't there.
But at least she self reflected and was OK. Phew.
I only really speak to about 5 people I went to school with, and only actually see three of them in person.
He has recently spent time in the clink, after being convicted for money laundering and drug dealing offences. There is karma after all. He's had previous after glassing someone in a pub. A really nice, salt of the earth type of guy.
Strangely enough he didn't bully me, but quite a few other people he did. Thankfully at the time bullying wasn't very prevalent at my school.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-12541103
http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Fish-merchant-laundered-drugs-money/story-11806440-detail/story.html
http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co.uk/Money-launderer-forced-sell-home/story-11748310-detail/story.html
http://www.thisiscornwall.co.uk/Organised-criminal-jailed-laundering/story-11491067-detail/story.html
etc.
A pretty big story as you can see.
Were you a bully?
Those were my thoughts.
There's a distinction there that I'm sure you'll grasp eventually.
In my case, dad told me. I wouldn't have known about it otherwise. As far I'm concerned, he as a person, was long forgotten about.
My dad was a teacher at my school for part of the time I was there, so if the other teachers had found out one of their colleagues sons were being bullied, he (the bully) would have been put in detention or even expelled, quicker than you could say hello. So, even this guy (mentioned above), who wasn't particularly bright, had more sense than to pick on me.
:-)
My dad didn't teach me much at school, as I was in different classes, but he made it clear to me at home from the onset I'd be treated just like all the other children in any classes that he took that I was in. No special treatment. I'm quite glad really I wasn't in many of his classes, as having your own dad as a teacher at school is a bit disconcerting for both parties.
All the teachers turned a blind eye as they knew Jimmy was 'a good 'un'.