Advice needed from outsiders POV
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I need advice from outsiders as I have noone else to talk this through with. I now some of you can be quite harsh on here and I think that's what I need tbh. Im quite angry at myself. Let me explain..
To cut an long story short, I have a guy I talk to over the phone (messaging) for a few years. He doesn't like to speak on the phone so we only message. 90% of the time its me initiating it although he does sometimes. I have tried to arrange meeting up but there's always an excuse or its we'll see during the week. If I try and phone him he doesn't answer then texts to say he cant talk hes busy. We were supposed to meet this weekend we spoke about what we would do- watch a movie etc. He has a lot of trust issues from a girl in the past and because of this he doesn't attach to girls, he even told me if we got together he will hurt me because hes not a nice guy. he only uses girls for sex or if he did get in a relationship and it ended he can happily walk away and not care about the girl.
I understand now why he doesn't want to speak on the phone or meet up and doesn't care how I feel about it. I cant even say were friends because friends don't work that way. I have messaged him if I can call him and he didn't respond. I have messaged him a further 3 times and no response. He is clearly ignoring me.
I feel an idiot for caring so much but I don't know what I care about. Hes not a nice person but the physical pull I feel towards him is so intense plus in a stupid way I want to be the girl that makes him see life in a new way. He is a very depressed person and I want to help him but he wont let me in.
I'm wasting my time aren't I? Is there anyway He will come round or should I be there as a friend but not so available or just move on totally? If I do just leave him alone and he messages me how do I respond?
Thanks for reading
To cut an long story short, I have a guy I talk to over the phone (messaging) for a few years. He doesn't like to speak on the phone so we only message. 90% of the time its me initiating it although he does sometimes. I have tried to arrange meeting up but there's always an excuse or its we'll see during the week. If I try and phone him he doesn't answer then texts to say he cant talk hes busy. We were supposed to meet this weekend we spoke about what we would do- watch a movie etc. He has a lot of trust issues from a girl in the past and because of this he doesn't attach to girls, he even told me if we got together he will hurt me because hes not a nice guy. he only uses girls for sex or if he did get in a relationship and it ended he can happily walk away and not care about the girl.
I understand now why he doesn't want to speak on the phone or meet up and doesn't care how I feel about it. I cant even say were friends because friends don't work that way. I have messaged him if I can call him and he didn't respond. I have messaged him a further 3 times and no response. He is clearly ignoring me.
I feel an idiot for caring so much but I don't know what I care about. Hes not a nice person but the physical pull I feel towards him is so intense plus in a stupid way I want to be the girl that makes him see life in a new way. He is a very depressed person and I want to help him but he wont let me in.
I'm wasting my time aren't I? Is there anyway He will come round or should I be there as a friend but not so available or just move on totally? If I do just leave him alone and he messages me how do I respond?
Thanks for reading
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Comments
All I can say poster is that you should probably see if you can find a professional to talk through these emotions with. If you can afford £40 or so a week you can easily get a private therapist, otherwise go to your GP and explain a few of your feelings and i'm sure he will refer you to someone on the NHS. From the sound of your post it sounds like you've got to that stage.
My general advice to anyone who is having this much difficulty with a relationship is to just end it and move on. I completely understand how you can become emotionally attached and want to believe that things will work out in the long run but it's not likely and not worth the pain (trust me i've been there many times). Hopefully you can find someone to talk to and they will help you with moving on with your life.
I'm sure the OP has been in similar situations in the past with other blokes, beyond a few weeks ago...
I supose it's the same guy in this thread.
http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1920856&highlight=
I agree. He is a catfish. He is likely married or in a serious relationship already. He is lying to you.
Thankyou x
Your welcome.
Know him as in have spent time in his company?
Still sounds like a catfish to me
I met him at work. Thankyou I will do that I feel I have too
You know things aren't right, so why are you still going along with it? The more time you waste (after all as you said it's been years) the less time you are spending with someone else who could actually reciprocate and be enjoying spending time with in person!
Exactly. The OP hasn't replied to that one though.
Fed up with being 'had' in Advice, one way or another. I fall for it every time and almost always wish I hadn't bothered making a well thought out reply and looking up info etc.
Thanks again everyone. Wishing you all a great 2014 :-) x